Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Panic Attacks/Anxiety
Comments
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To hear, "Can't go back" helped.Trew said:I'm one year into this
I'm one year into this cancer thingie. Surgery and radiation are behind me, but there is a real possiblity of reoccurance- I think of that, too. PSTD may explain the deep sense of loss that stays with me all the time.
RE the future, I know one does not need to worry about trouble to come, the present has enough, but planning the things left undone yet to do is a challenge. I am 61, and I have always wanted to hike the CDT from Mexico to Canada. I still want to do this, but now I have both age and reoccurance to push me.
My, I do hate this cancer thing as we all do. Can't go back.....
I'm 46yrs old. I had a simple procedure one day and 48hrs later was told I had vulva cancer. Yea, hit me like a rock. I went through a radical vulvectomy, 12 limph nodes removed on left side and 8 on right. No radiation or chemo was needed. This all happened in December of 2007. My Oncologist was amazed with how I was dealing with it all, positive thinking and going through the healing process. CT were stressful as I would think negativly until was told, "everything looks great". Then relaxed until the next CT, 3 months. Had CT in April of 2009, came back good. Seen Oncologist in February 2010. No need for CT, as she feels I will be fine. Still doing 6 month visits till done with 5 year plan. Oncologist is 99.9% sure the cancer will not come back. Good news right?
December of 2009 my teeth started to break, oh no, CANCER????. 3 root canals, 4 crowns later my teeth don't hurt. I hate dentists but when a tooth breaks you have no choice. No cancer, just decay. Irritation on side of tongue, CANCER????? Oral surgeon did biopsy. No cancer, just stress from all work on teeth. Ingrown hair on cheek, put off, don't want to go to dermitologist, CANCER??? No infected folicle. Take antibiotic, have major side effects, CANCER????? No, just stop antibiotic.
May 2010, when will I quit thinking of CANCER????. I get a sore, ache, mark, I think CANCER..... I want to get up and think about living, not about dieing. HELP ME.0 -
My 14 year oldhalsons said:getting my daughter help
Thanks for the information on getting someone who deals with anxiety disorders. I will start the search next week. My daughter also seems to have her attacks just come out of the blue. She even runs up to me and makes me feel her heart to make sure it is beating. This sometimes can last for an hour or so and it is very hard to get her to calm down.She makes me feel her heart about every 3 seconds or so and this continues for a long time. I like the idea of deep breathing and will make sure the counsler touches on that tomorrow. The boys of mine are 22,19, and 17 and my daughter is 10. We are all walking this weekend for Relay for Life. I am hoping this also will help the kids a little by seeing others that have been affected by cancer and by walking maybe will give them an outlet for the pain. Wish us luck and thanks for the ideas, I know this will make a big difference.
Hello~ My husband died 6 months ago from head and neck cancer. He fought the disease for over 2 years. My son, who was 13 at the time, saw his dad go from 215 pounds to 140 pounds, hospitalized twice (spent most of the holidays with his aunt), stomach tubes, no hair . . . My son's reaction was not panic attacks, but rather outbursts of anger. I have him in counseling and his school's staff watches out for him. I, on the other hand, suffer from panic attacks. The first time I had one, I eneded up in the ER room thinking my throat was swelling shut because I could not breath. I went to my doctor and she prescribed antivan (temporary help) and put me on an antidepressant. If I was in the grip of an attack, the antivan would stop it within ten minutes. Once the antidepressant kicked in, I do not have to take the antivan anymore. I have also found that by counting backwards from 100 by 3's and deep breathing (in by the nose and making your tummy stick out and then breath out by mouth) helps. I am so sorry that your family is going through this. It is so hard. I have found that trying to take it hour by hour and giving yourself permission to go through all these emotions helps. (I have to keep in mind that my kids -14, 22 & 24- are also grieving and I need to support them and well as accept their support of me-the older 2 sometimes act like they are "my parent" and I need to remind them that I am the parent, but appreciate their concern. Take care~cheryl0 -
Hi CherylCherylMike said:My 14 year old
Hello~ My husband died 6 months ago from head and neck cancer. He fought the disease for over 2 years. My son, who was 13 at the time, saw his dad go from 215 pounds to 140 pounds, hospitalized twice (spent most of the holidays with his aunt), stomach tubes, no hair . . . My son's reaction was not panic attacks, but rather outbursts of anger. I have him in counseling and his school's staff watches out for him. I, on the other hand, suffer from panic attacks. The first time I had one, I eneded up in the ER room thinking my throat was swelling shut because I could not breath. I went to my doctor and she prescribed antivan (temporary help) and put me on an antidepressant. If I was in the grip of an attack, the antivan would stop it within ten minutes. Once the antidepressant kicked in, I do not have to take the antivan anymore. I have also found that by counting backwards from 100 by 3's and deep breathing (in by the nose and making your tummy stick out and then breath out by mouth) helps. I am so sorry that your family is going through this. It is so hard. I have found that trying to take it hour by hour and giving yourself permission to go through all these emotions helps. (I have to keep in mind that my kids -14, 22 & 24- are also grieving and I need to support them and well as accept their support of me-the older 2 sometimes act like they are "my parent" and I need to remind them that I am the parent, but appreciate their concern. Take care~cheryl
I am so sorry about your husband's passing and the emotional issues your family is dealing with. For many who have a family member struck by cancer they feel that automatically that person is the only one going through the illness but it affects the whole family, each in different ourward ways of course, as you well know.
You mentioned that your child was seeing a oounsellor for the trauma but are you or your other children seeing one as well? It's lovely that the kids care about taking care of you but if that goes too far they themselves may not b able to heal too completely. I am no doctor, just a long term survivor who has seen alot and talked to many and if you aren't already I would seriously consider seeing a counsellor and mention it to your other kids as well. Perhaps you could go as a family group so it's easier for you all.
Personally, if there is one in your area, I would look for a psychologist who deals specifically in anxiety and trauma, they get right down to the issues but I'm sure if you don't have that kind of specialist in your area a good general psychologist would be just fine.
Again I am so sorry for your loss and you are right on about the deep breathing for the attacks, I do that and that really has helped so much I no longer use anti anxity meds.
Blessings, Bluerose0 -
Good to hear Halsonshalsons said:getting my daughter help
Thanks for the information on getting someone who deals with anxiety disorders. I will start the search next week. My daughter also seems to have her attacks just come out of the blue. She even runs up to me and makes me feel her heart to make sure it is beating. This sometimes can last for an hour or so and it is very hard to get her to calm down.She makes me feel her heart about every 3 seconds or so and this continues for a long time. I like the idea of deep breathing and will make sure the counsler touches on that tomorrow. The boys of mine are 22,19, and 17 and my daughter is 10. We are all walking this weekend for Relay for Life. I am hoping this also will help the kids a little by seeing others that have been affected by cancer and by walking maybe will give them an outlet for the pain. Wish us luck and thanks for the ideas, I know this will make a big difference.
Glad to help where I can. I don't remember reading this in your posting but have you spoken with a good counsellor too, how about your other children? I just posted a response to someone else on this blog here, cheryl, and if you would like to read that too I talk about the kind of psychologist to look for if you can in your area. Cancer indeed affects everyone differently but even some family members who look just fine are holding back issues they should really deal with early, issues centering around their loved one's cancer journey.
Let us all know how it goes and remember to look for a reputable psychologist who deals in grief, loss, anxiety and trauma.
Walking in the relay is a wonderful outlet for your kids and yourself.
Blessings to you and yours. Bluerose0 -
Did the relaybluerose said:Good to hear Halsons
Glad to help where I can. I don't remember reading this in your posting but have you spoken with a good counsellor too, how about your other children? I just posted a response to someone else on this blog here, cheryl, and if you would like to read that too I talk about the kind of psychologist to look for if you can in your area. Cancer indeed affects everyone differently but even some family members who look just fine are holding back issues they should really deal with early, issues centering around their loved one's cancer journey.
Let us all know how it goes and remember to look for a reputable psychologist who deals in grief, loss, anxiety and trauma.
Walking in the relay is a wonderful outlet for your kids and yourself.
Blessings to you and yours. Bluerose
Hi Bluerose,
Yes I have talked to Kaiser which has several counselors or LCSWs and I have gotten my 17 year old son already in being seen. I need to set up an appointment for my 10 year old daughter so she will have hospice and kaiser counslors which she really needs. My 18 year old son and 21 year old son don't want counseling but I don't want to push them. I think I am going to start some counseling as well. I know I need it but I thought I needed to get the kids in first. The breathing tecniques are exactly what the hospice counslor suggested yesterday for my daughter. When the counslor asked my daughter how much she worried or was stressed to rate it from 1-10 and 10 being the worse she said without skipping a beat a 10. After the counslor worked with her on breathing she seemed to smile more and told me now she can do something when she starts feeling bad. Thanks for the suggestions. The whole family walked in the Relay for Life and our small town of Ramona raised $40,000. I do think it helped towards our healing process. Take care and thanks. Haley0 -
Hi Haleyhalsons said:Did the relay
Hi Bluerose,
Yes I have talked to Kaiser which has several counselors or LCSWs and I have gotten my 17 year old son already in being seen. I need to set up an appointment for my 10 year old daughter so she will have hospice and kaiser counslors which she really needs. My 18 year old son and 21 year old son don't want counseling but I don't want to push them. I think I am going to start some counseling as well. I know I need it but I thought I needed to get the kids in first. The breathing tecniques are exactly what the hospice counslor suggested yesterday for my daughter. When the counslor asked my daughter how much she worried or was stressed to rate it from 1-10 and 10 being the worse she said without skipping a beat a 10. After the counslor worked with her on breathing she seemed to smile more and told me now she can do something when she starts feeling bad. Thanks for the suggestions. The whole family walked in the Relay for Life and our small town of Ramona raised $40,000. I do think it helped towards our healing process. Take care and thanks. Haley
You are doing a fabulous job of taking care of your family and yourself, so glad to hear it.
Great to hear you got out as a family and did the walk. I remember that just after I had my bone marrow retrieval surgery I went out in a wheelchair with my family and did the Terry Fox Run here in Canada where I live. Even took our little dog. It was a really positive experience for us all. In hindsight I shouldn't have gone out so soon after surgery but what the heck, emotionally it did me a world of good, get your walk did the same for you too.
All the best, and keep us posted. Blessings, Bluerose0 -
You are a wonder Bluerose!bluerose said:Hi Haley
You are doing a fabulous job of taking care of your family and yourself, so glad to hear it.
Great to hear you got out as a family and did the walk. I remember that just after I had my bone marrow retrieval surgery I went out in a wheelchair with my family and did the Terry Fox Run here in Canada where I live. Even took our little dog. It was a really positive experience for us all. In hindsight I shouldn't have gone out so soon after surgery but what the heck, emotionally it did me a world of good, get your walk did the same for you too.
All the best, and keep us posted. Blessings, Bluerose
I see your name almost everywhere; it's great that you can help so many people.
Just wanted to share my experience lately on the anxiety/panic attack thing. For about the last month or so, I've been getting anxiety attacks, shortness of breath and increased heart rate. It's been crazy around here, so I know that that's the reason, but I haven't had it during all the prior months that my mom's been going through this, so it was kind of weird that I had to stop and tell myself, 'Hey, calm down. You have to breathe!!' I can't agree more that slow deep breathing is a life-saver. I've done yoga in the past, and all that training has saved me many times since. But I can be just sitting here on the computer and all of a sudden, I have to remind myself 'breathe, breathe!' It's like my breath gets so shallow, I just feel myself working harder to do it. And not even when I'm on this site, which can get me emotional, but anywhere. In fact, I just went to the doctor today to make sure my lungs are ok, because I've been getting pain on the lower left side. It's probably nothing much, but I have to listen to my body; I've got a responsibility not only to myself, but to both my parents who need me around.
Prayers of strength and hugs to all.....
Also to Haley.....I am glad you are going to counseling as well as getting your kids to go. I know that the boys are harder to get to go, because society says men must be strong, but do make sure you watch over them and reaffirm that it's ok to ask for help. In fact, the strongest men aren't afraid to ask for anything, or to cry about it either. (((hugs)))0 -
I'm no wonder I am a survivor like so many others.AKAngel said:You are a wonder Bluerose!
I see your name almost everywhere; it's great that you can help so many people.
Just wanted to share my experience lately on the anxiety/panic attack thing. For about the last month or so, I've been getting anxiety attacks, shortness of breath and increased heart rate. It's been crazy around here, so I know that that's the reason, but I haven't had it during all the prior months that my mom's been going through this, so it was kind of weird that I had to stop and tell myself, 'Hey, calm down. You have to breathe!!' I can't agree more that slow deep breathing is a life-saver. I've done yoga in the past, and all that training has saved me many times since. But I can be just sitting here on the computer and all of a sudden, I have to remind myself 'breathe, breathe!' It's like my breath gets so shallow, I just feel myself working harder to do it. And not even when I'm on this site, which can get me emotional, but anywhere. In fact, I just went to the doctor today to make sure my lungs are ok, because I've been getting pain on the lower left side. It's probably nothing much, but I have to listen to my body; I've got a responsibility not only to myself, but to both my parents who need me around.
Prayers of strength and hugs to all.....
Also to Haley.....I am glad you are going to counseling as well as getting your kids to go. I know that the boys are harder to get to go, because society says men must be strong, but do make sure you watch over them and reaffirm that it's ok to ask for help. In fact, the strongest men aren't afraid to ask for anything, or to cry about it either. (((hugs)))
Thanks for the compliment AK but I am like every other survivor out there, we all have this inate need to help after our experiences, it happens with lots of people faced with life threatening situations. Giving back I guess you can call it. You will do that too and do now in fact as you share your story - who knows who is reading your story and will be able to benefit from your experiences too.
Yup you do see my name all over these sites, lol, I'm a yapper. lol. I confess. lol.
I go to a trauma/stress specialist (psychologist) now and again when I have issues that I need to deal with and then I am okay for awhile but have gone back recently because the anxiety issues have seeminly come out of nowhere, as you describe. It's classic with attacks of anxiety and panic apparently. His deep breathing techniques have saved me from using meds to calm me down - simple breathing - yikes - amazing. How many people could use this simple technique and not have to rely on meds of all kinds? Wow.
I am trying to teach my body to breath from the lower section of the abdomen automatically by practising it several times a day. Not easy to do but I am trying.
I am now working on protecting myself from incoming issues thta upset me by putting an invistible shield that I create in my mind when I see or hear something potentially threatening to me like a person who upsets me or something. I am supposed to let that first contact hit the membrane of the shield I have created in my mind and it obsorbs the shock so that direct thoughts that are upsetting and things that I get faced with out of the blue don't ever really 'hit me' and start the anxicty process. From there I am supposed to 'self nurture' myself by saying things to myself that you would say to a young child who is afraid, things like 'that's okay dear, that won't hurt you. you will be okay' Bring in the breathing too if you have to and that helps as well. My counsellor gave me a name for this way of handling anxiety and traumas but of course with my chemobrain I forget. lol. There are other things that he will teach me about other ways of actually 'doing' something to help further with danger issues I am faced with. One step at a time. I never thought of nurturing myself before, hard to believe that someone has to tell you to do that. Sheeesh. Women especially tend to want to nurture others but taking care of themselves the same way? being more gentle with themelves - not so much. Anywho glad I have that input now - it all is making a huge difference.
Isn't it bizarre the way anxiety issues just hit you out of nowhere? I was talking to the psychologist I see who specializes in anxiety and traumas and he was saying that actually they don't come from 'nowhere' at all, it's just that we don't realize that a random thought can set it off. He told me that if you catch an anxiety attack coming on try to stop yourself and think about where you are, what you were thinking, what thought was in your mind before the attack and write that down. Soon you will realize there was something in that moment that triggered the attack. Anxiety he explained to me is really the body's way of preparing for flight from a danger situation so if we are in a dangerous thought mode - poof - it sets off and triggers anxiety. Makes sense huh? Even I followed it and remembered that. lol. Do you see a specialist in this field? Amazing what they can teach that helps.
Anywho I had better get going here. Take good care. Bluerose0 -
Now you're making me laughbluerose said:I'm no wonder I am a survivor like so many others.
Thanks for the compliment AK but I am like every other survivor out there, we all have this inate need to help after our experiences, it happens with lots of people faced with life threatening situations. Giving back I guess you can call it. You will do that too and do now in fact as you share your story - who knows who is reading your story and will be able to benefit from your experiences too.
Yup you do see my name all over these sites, lol, I'm a yapper. lol. I confess. lol.
I go to a trauma/stress specialist (psychologist) now and again when I have issues that I need to deal with and then I am okay for awhile but have gone back recently because the anxiety issues have seeminly come out of nowhere, as you describe. It's classic with attacks of anxiety and panic apparently. His deep breathing techniques have saved me from using meds to calm me down - simple breathing - yikes - amazing. How many people could use this simple technique and not have to rely on meds of all kinds? Wow.
I am trying to teach my body to breath from the lower section of the abdomen automatically by practising it several times a day. Not easy to do but I am trying.
I am now working on protecting myself from incoming issues thta upset me by putting an invistible shield that I create in my mind when I see or hear something potentially threatening to me like a person who upsets me or something. I am supposed to let that first contact hit the membrane of the shield I have created in my mind and it obsorbs the shock so that direct thoughts that are upsetting and things that I get faced with out of the blue don't ever really 'hit me' and start the anxicty process. From there I am supposed to 'self nurture' myself by saying things to myself that you would say to a young child who is afraid, things like 'that's okay dear, that won't hurt you. you will be okay' Bring in the breathing too if you have to and that helps as well. My counsellor gave me a name for this way of handling anxiety and traumas but of course with my chemobrain I forget. lol. There are other things that he will teach me about other ways of actually 'doing' something to help further with danger issues I am faced with. One step at a time. I never thought of nurturing myself before, hard to believe that someone has to tell you to do that. Sheeesh. Women especially tend to want to nurture others but taking care of themselves the same way? being more gentle with themelves - not so much. Anywho glad I have that input now - it all is making a huge difference.
Isn't it bizarre the way anxiety issues just hit you out of nowhere? I was talking to the psychologist I see who specializes in anxiety and traumas and he was saying that actually they don't come from 'nowhere' at all, it's just that we don't realize that a random thought can set it off. He told me that if you catch an anxiety attack coming on try to stop yourself and think about where you are, what you were thinking, what thought was in your mind before the attack and write that down. Soon you will realize there was something in that moment that triggered the attack. Anxiety he explained to me is really the body's way of preparing for flight from a danger situation so if we are in a dangerous thought mode - poof - it sets off and triggers anxiety. Makes sense huh? Even I followed it and remembered that. lol. Do you see a specialist in this field? Amazing what they can teach that helps.
Anywho I had better get going here. Take good care. Bluerose
You say you're a yapper...makes me think of a little Yorkie or something!! LOL
You have a lot to say, and positive ways of saying it. It's a wonderful gift, and therefore yes, you are a wonder.0 -
Your image wasn't too far offAKAngel said:Now you're making me laugh
You say you're a yapper...makes me think of a little Yorkie or something!! LOL
You have a lot to say, and positive ways of saying it. It's a wonderful gift, and therefore yes, you are a wonder.
Chihuahuas are my dog of choice so maybe that's where I developed my yappiness. lol. Not too far off with saying Yorkies.
Anywho just passing through and saw your comments. Take care and type to you soon.
Bluerose0 -
children acting like our parentsCherylMike said:My 14 year old
Hello~ My husband died 6 months ago from head and neck cancer. He fought the disease for over 2 years. My son, who was 13 at the time, saw his dad go from 215 pounds to 140 pounds, hospitalized twice (spent most of the holidays with his aunt), stomach tubes, no hair . . . My son's reaction was not panic attacks, but rather outbursts of anger. I have him in counseling and his school's staff watches out for him. I, on the other hand, suffer from panic attacks. The first time I had one, I eneded up in the ER room thinking my throat was swelling shut because I could not breath. I went to my doctor and she prescribed antivan (temporary help) and put me on an antidepressant. If I was in the grip of an attack, the antivan would stop it within ten minutes. Once the antidepressant kicked in, I do not have to take the antivan anymore. I have also found that by counting backwards from 100 by 3's and deep breathing (in by the nose and making your tummy stick out and then breath out by mouth) helps. I am so sorry that your family is going through this. It is so hard. I have found that trying to take it hour by hour and giving yourself permission to go through all these emotions helps. (I have to keep in mind that my kids -14, 22 & 24- are also grieving and I need to support them and well as accept their support of me-the older 2 sometimes act like they are "my parent" and I need to remind them that I am the parent, but appreciate their concern. Take care~cheryl
Cheryl,
You brought up a great point about " reminding the kids that you are the parent." I have had to deal with this from two of my younger kids. My ten year old everytime I cry comes running to me and hugs me and tells me everything will be alright and then watches me until I stop crying. Then my 17 tries to do everything for me or gets things all organized in the house so I come home to a clean house and I admidt its great but these kids need to grieve also. I try not to break down in front of them because it upsets both very much. Good thing my 17 is started counseling and my daughter will be in a couple of weeks. I guess the thing that makes me break down the worst is seeing my kids so upset and crying and not being able to handle there dad being gone. Haley0 -
thoughts...bluerose said:I'm no wonder I am a survivor like so many others.
Thanks for the compliment AK but I am like every other survivor out there, we all have this inate need to help after our experiences, it happens with lots of people faced with life threatening situations. Giving back I guess you can call it. You will do that too and do now in fact as you share your story - who knows who is reading your story and will be able to benefit from your experiences too.
Yup you do see my name all over these sites, lol, I'm a yapper. lol. I confess. lol.
I go to a trauma/stress specialist (psychologist) now and again when I have issues that I need to deal with and then I am okay for awhile but have gone back recently because the anxiety issues have seeminly come out of nowhere, as you describe. It's classic with attacks of anxiety and panic apparently. His deep breathing techniques have saved me from using meds to calm me down - simple breathing - yikes - amazing. How many people could use this simple technique and not have to rely on meds of all kinds? Wow.
I am trying to teach my body to breath from the lower section of the abdomen automatically by practising it several times a day. Not easy to do but I am trying.
I am now working on protecting myself from incoming issues thta upset me by putting an invistible shield that I create in my mind when I see or hear something potentially threatening to me like a person who upsets me or something. I am supposed to let that first contact hit the membrane of the shield I have created in my mind and it obsorbs the shock so that direct thoughts that are upsetting and things that I get faced with out of the blue don't ever really 'hit me' and start the anxicty process. From there I am supposed to 'self nurture' myself by saying things to myself that you would say to a young child who is afraid, things like 'that's okay dear, that won't hurt you. you will be okay' Bring in the breathing too if you have to and that helps as well. My counsellor gave me a name for this way of handling anxiety and traumas but of course with my chemobrain I forget. lol. There are other things that he will teach me about other ways of actually 'doing' something to help further with danger issues I am faced with. One step at a time. I never thought of nurturing myself before, hard to believe that someone has to tell you to do that. Sheeesh. Women especially tend to want to nurture others but taking care of themselves the same way? being more gentle with themelves - not so much. Anywho glad I have that input now - it all is making a huge difference.
Isn't it bizarre the way anxiety issues just hit you out of nowhere? I was talking to the psychologist I see who specializes in anxiety and traumas and he was saying that actually they don't come from 'nowhere' at all, it's just that we don't realize that a random thought can set it off. He told me that if you catch an anxiety attack coming on try to stop yourself and think about where you are, what you were thinking, what thought was in your mind before the attack and write that down. Soon you will realize there was something in that moment that triggered the attack. Anxiety he explained to me is really the body's way of preparing for flight from a danger situation so if we are in a dangerous thought mode - poof - it sets off and triggers anxiety. Makes sense huh? Even I followed it and remembered that. lol. Do you see a specialist in this field? Amazing what they can teach that helps.
Anywho I had better get going here. Take good care. Bluerose
what your counsellor was talking about makes great sense. Our thoughts influence our feelings...this people know to be true...but very few really go into detail with themselves, really exploring what happened in their mind...Breathing techniques are excellent, for short term coping...but for longer term success it is really essentail to develop a kind of curiosity about your thoughts...a kind of distance...I need to write more about this on my blog...good luck!0 -
"Evaluate the evidence!"thoughts...
what your counsellor was talking about makes great sense. Our thoughts influence our feelings...this people know to be true...but very few really go into detail with themselves, really exploring what happened in their mind...Breathing techniques are excellent, for short term coping...but for longer term success it is really essentail to develop a kind of curiosity about your thoughts...a kind of distance...I need to write more about this on my blog...good luck!
Andy,
Your post reminded me of my own policy of "evaluating the evidence" whenever I become overwhelmed with anxiety, reviewing in my mind on what my anxious feelings are based, and the likelihood of those fearful events actually occurring. In the vast majority of cases, my emotional barometer has proven way off and in need of "recalibration with reason".
"Anxiety" robs of the time and energy we need to enjoy special moments and just make it through the day. By evaluating the validity of what is making us anxious, we assume control and can "deal" accordingly.
Love, Courage, and Peace of Mind!
Rick0 -
Panic & fearbluerose said:I'm no wonder I am a survivor like so many others.
Thanks for the compliment AK but I am like every other survivor out there, we all have this inate need to help after our experiences, it happens with lots of people faced with life threatening situations. Giving back I guess you can call it. You will do that too and do now in fact as you share your story - who knows who is reading your story and will be able to benefit from your experiences too.
Yup you do see my name all over these sites, lol, I'm a yapper. lol. I confess. lol.
I go to a trauma/stress specialist (psychologist) now and again when I have issues that I need to deal with and then I am okay for awhile but have gone back recently because the anxiety issues have seeminly come out of nowhere, as you describe. It's classic with attacks of anxiety and panic apparently. His deep breathing techniques have saved me from using meds to calm me down - simple breathing - yikes - amazing. How many people could use this simple technique and not have to rely on meds of all kinds? Wow.
I am trying to teach my body to breath from the lower section of the abdomen automatically by practising it several times a day. Not easy to do but I am trying.
I am now working on protecting myself from incoming issues thta upset me by putting an invistible shield that I create in my mind when I see or hear something potentially threatening to me like a person who upsets me or something. I am supposed to let that first contact hit the membrane of the shield I have created in my mind and it obsorbs the shock so that direct thoughts that are upsetting and things that I get faced with out of the blue don't ever really 'hit me' and start the anxicty process. From there I am supposed to 'self nurture' myself by saying things to myself that you would say to a young child who is afraid, things like 'that's okay dear, that won't hurt you. you will be okay' Bring in the breathing too if you have to and that helps as well. My counsellor gave me a name for this way of handling anxiety and traumas but of course with my chemobrain I forget. lol. There are other things that he will teach me about other ways of actually 'doing' something to help further with danger issues I am faced with. One step at a time. I never thought of nurturing myself before, hard to believe that someone has to tell you to do that. Sheeesh. Women especially tend to want to nurture others but taking care of themselves the same way? being more gentle with themelves - not so much. Anywho glad I have that input now - it all is making a huge difference.
Isn't it bizarre the way anxiety issues just hit you out of nowhere? I was talking to the psychologist I see who specializes in anxiety and traumas and he was saying that actually they don't come from 'nowhere' at all, it's just that we don't realize that a random thought can set it off. He told me that if you catch an anxiety attack coming on try to stop yourself and think about where you are, what you were thinking, what thought was in your mind before the attack and write that down. Soon you will realize there was something in that moment that triggered the attack. Anxiety he explained to me is really the body's way of preparing for flight from a danger situation so if we are in a dangerous thought mode - poof - it sets off and triggers anxiety. Makes sense huh? Even I followed it and remembered that. lol. Do you see a specialist in this field? Amazing what they can teach that helps.
Anywho I had better get going here. Take good care. Bluerose
I too like Bluerose experience almost everything that you have described. I am going for counselling and my counsellor uses Transactional Analysis. She talks about our own expectations and behaviours. I get panic / anxiety attacks that I call fear. I feel fear and am so scared. They come out of no where and completely overwhelm me. I have been given practical ideas to help me regulate my thinking and to stop the panics.
Tina0 -
Panic and fearTina Brown said:Panic & fear
I too like Bluerose experience almost everything that you have described. I am going for counselling and my counsellor uses Transactional Analysis. She talks about our own expectations and behaviours. I get panic / anxiety attacks that I call fear. I feel fear and am so scared. They come out of no where and completely overwhelm me. I have been given practical ideas to help me regulate my thinking and to stop the panics.
Tina
I finished chemo in May and apparently all is well, but I have started to have panic attacks and feel really down. I have a 21 month old baby and I had to have a full hysterectomy in January. I am trying to cope with the loss of my future babies, the onset of premature menopause, the trauma of not being there properly for my little one, the dreadful experience of chemo and the sickening horrifying fear that I will die before she grows up. I am at a complete loss and dont know how to deal with this. My friends and family dont know what to say and suggest anti depressants. My husband lost his father the day I was due to start chemo and his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks after I finished chemo. I feel like i am trapped in a nightmare from which I can never wake up. Please tell me what you think I should or could do - i am afraid and lost.
ps I am so paranoid I feared this would be reported as offensive because it is so desperate0 -
Seek helpAshspain said:Panic and fear
I finished chemo in May and apparently all is well, but I have started to have panic attacks and feel really down. I have a 21 month old baby and I had to have a full hysterectomy in January. I am trying to cope with the loss of my future babies, the onset of premature menopause, the trauma of not being there properly for my little one, the dreadful experience of chemo and the sickening horrifying fear that I will die before she grows up. I am at a complete loss and dont know how to deal with this. My friends and family dont know what to say and suggest anti depressants. My husband lost his father the day I was due to start chemo and his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks after I finished chemo. I feel like i am trapped in a nightmare from which I can never wake up. Please tell me what you think I should or could do - i am afraid and lost.
ps I am so paranoid I feared this would be reported as offensive because it is so desperate
It's very common for people to think that they can't seek help from mental health professionals or treatment centers because they are afraid of either an involuntary commitment or that the authorities will come into their home because of the children. Neither of these are very true. I work at a mental health treatment center, and we offer all types of help, such as half day programs Monday thru Friday, full day programs, as well as inpatient stabilization. Individual counseling is vitally important. Antidepressants as well as anti anxiety medications can help, but finding support and feeling safe while you process your issues is key. Feeling like you're isolated and trapped is terrible, and no way to go through this alone. Do a google search of therapists in your area; make sure you read the patient reveiws before choosing one. Call your local mental health hotline; its anonymous. They may be able to reccomend some treatment options. Your health insurance company will have a list of approved providers for mental health assistance, as well. If either yourself or your husband is employed, companies sometimes have Employee Assistance Counselors (EAPs) available to help connect you to someone who can help. We work with people in all walks of life; I've had military officers, airline pilots, physicians, nurses, homemakers all seek treatment. You don't have to go thru this alone.0 -
Hello AshspainAshspain said:Panic and fear
I finished chemo in May and apparently all is well, but I have started to have panic attacks and feel really down. I have a 21 month old baby and I had to have a full hysterectomy in January. I am trying to cope with the loss of my future babies, the onset of premature menopause, the trauma of not being there properly for my little one, the dreadful experience of chemo and the sickening horrifying fear that I will die before she grows up. I am at a complete loss and dont know how to deal with this. My friends and family dont know what to say and suggest anti depressants. My husband lost his father the day I was due to start chemo and his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks after I finished chemo. I feel like i am trapped in a nightmare from which I can never wake up. Please tell me what you think I should or could do - i am afraid and lost.
ps I am so paranoid I feared this would be reported as offensive because it is so desperate
I totally know what you are facing and completely understand where you are mentally and emotionally. I too have an incurable cancer, am going through the menopause, my mum died of cancer 20 months ago and my marriage is very shaky. I too feel I am staring in my own nightmare and there is no relief from any chance ofwaking up. I am on anti=depressants but they have stopped working. My depression is so much worse since my chemo finished as I am expecting my cancer to come back at each check up.
My saving grace however is that I have found a great therapist. I googled counsellors for my area and read a report about my therapist. I have had 3 sessions with her so far and I am beginning to pick through all of the fear and anxiety and she is helping me find ways to work through it. I never thought going to see a counsellor would work for me, but I am finding it really helpful. I am under no illusions that this is a quick fix solution, but it is a start. I wish you every success in finding someone to help you.
Tina xx0 -
Hi TinaTina Brown said:Hello Ashspain
I totally know what you are facing and completely understand where you are mentally and emotionally. I too have an incurable cancer, am going through the menopause, my mum died of cancer 20 months ago and my marriage is very shaky. I too feel I am staring in my own nightmare and there is no relief from any chance ofwaking up. I am on anti=depressants but they have stopped working. My depression is so much worse since my chemo finished as I am expecting my cancer to come back at each check up.
My saving grace however is that I have found a great therapist. I googled counsellors for my area and read a report about my therapist. I have had 3 sessions with her so far and I am beginning to pick through all of the fear and anxiety and she is helping me find ways to work through it. I never thought going to see a counsellor would work for me, but I am finding it really helpful. I am under no illusions that this is a quick fix solution, but it is a start. I wish you every success in finding someone to help you.
Tina xx
I can so relate to how you are feeling. I am done treatments and the depression I am experiencing is unreal. I know how lucky I am to still be here but the depression/anxiety still lingers. I too am on antidepressants and somedays I feel better than others. The fear that fills me is unbearable. Will there be recurrence...will I be around to see my kids get married and have children.Will my life ever be somewhat normal again. The loss of my past life is unbearable. my husband is a good support but how much more of this depression can her take.
I too see a counsellor. She is great to vent with and help explain the feelings I am having. Its a grieving process. The loss of the life that was and learning how to move forward. My counsellor is helpful in advising me to alow myself to feel whatever it is i am feeling....anger/sad..etc...I was beating myself up for not being content with treatments being done. She helped me to stop doing that.There are still dark days after 4mths of treatments being finished but some days are bright..0 -
Hi Rose_haddsrose_hadds said:Hi Tina
I can so relate to how you are feeling. I am done treatments and the depression I am experiencing is unreal. I know how lucky I am to still be here but the depression/anxiety still lingers. I too am on antidepressants and somedays I feel better than others. The fear that fills me is unbearable. Will there be recurrence...will I be around to see my kids get married and have children.Will my life ever be somewhat normal again. The loss of my past life is unbearable. my husband is a good support but how much more of this depression can her take.
I too see a counsellor. She is great to vent with and help explain the feelings I am having. Its a grieving process. The loss of the life that was and learning how to move forward. My counsellor is helpful in advising me to alow myself to feel whatever it is i am feeling....anger/sad..etc...I was beating myself up for not being content with treatments being done. She helped me to stop doing that.There are still dark days after 4mths of treatments being finished but some days are bright..
Wow, what you say about the loss of your past life. That is just it, it is gone. This upsets me as much as having the cancer. Before I had cancer I was a runner. Half marathons, 10k's. I was a member of a club and really enjoyed running with other people. I had also worked really hard and lost a lot of weight and I liked how I looked. Now, I have gained all of the weight and more. I still go to the running club but I am like a beginner. I can only manage to run a short distance because I have lost my fitness and gained weight. I've tried to loose the weight but it is soul destroying because it comes off so slowly (because of the chemo & steriods I took)
So yes, I feel angry that I have lost my past life and I don't think it will ever come back.0 -
Hope I am not repeating myself here, chemobrain you know, lolBarbara53 said:interesting question
When my dad died 3 weeks after diagnosis and I had a hard time with it, the counselor I saw said it was a form of PTSD. The way he explained it, when we don't have time to process the loss of a close loved one because of the suddenness of their leaving, we can have trouble putting it all to bed in retrospect.
Suddenness is also involved in how dogs "imprint" the fears of guns, thunder, etc. Once suddenly traumatized, the imprinted fear does not easily go away. Interesting, eh?
Although panic attacks can certainly be a part of this syndrome, they can come and go from obvious and not-so-obvious stress that has nothing to do with PTSD. Low dose valium is great for panic attacks, but doctors prefer to use drugs with many more side effects, and much higher price tags.
It also helps to remember to breathe.
There is alot of studies now being done on PTSD and the cancer patient and it's about time I would say. EMDR therapy is now much more widely excepted for PTSD, I had the treatment years ago and it really helped with some of my trauma memories surrounding the cancer plus others I was harbouring. Anxiety attacks came on within the last few years as issues built and symptoms didn't subside and you are right when you say to remember to breathe.
The trauma psychologist who I saw taught me deep breathing and I have used that when I feel an attack coming on or at other stressful times and it really does work incredibly well. I think that most people hear you say 'breathe' and it sounds so simple compared to what you are going through it comes off like a flipped off answer but it isn't - it's totally helpful, sure helped me. Better than all kinds of drugs I would have to say, for me anywho.
Take care.
Bluerose0
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