popping back in to say hi, catch up, and to ask a question

daydreamer110761 said:

Stress....ha!
I believe most of it is caused by stress, but the achy legs, sore cold numb feet, and the hands, I'm sure are leftovers from chemo, just wish it would quit. Nick says he hasn't seen me sleep all night in a long time - I fight with blankets - on, off, on, off...

Stress, Diane....lol! My kids. Lets say that at least all 3 are working now, yeah! My oldest (27) is part time at a pizza place (new one and at least its great pizza for a change here in the midwest). However, he eats us out of house and home. if it ain't moving, he's eating it. hardly ever see him, he doesn't come out of his room much. plans to go back to maine around the end of the summer - not soon enough. the middle child, my daughter (19) I tossed her out in December after finding that she had her b/f staying here - again, the second time, which was the reason I tossed her the first time - no respect. She now lives with the b/f's grandmother, works part time under the table and is on food stamps and MA. the youngest (about to be 18) is the one that I rescued from jail. It was a good program, but I spent 5000.00 on a lawyer to get him there (mind you I am in MN and he was in FLA). when it was time for him to be released, I flew to FLA to get him. Since he has been back, he joined the youth group at church, but I'm thinking it's more of a cover. I gave him the freedom to spend a night with a friend he ended up with another group of people, and was brought home at 3am by the police for riding in a stolen car. Now, he wasn't in trouble with them, but the fact is, the police brought him home, and on a night where I (and Nick)had to be up at 430 for a busy day at work. Granted, he was crying, but I believe it was because he was more scared of going to jail or Nick throwing him out. Since then he is doing ok, he's got a job, I'm teaching him about bank accounts, etc.

Stress - the medical bills are starting to haunt me. I have spent my savings on my kids, which really wasn't much anyway. But got a letter from a lawyer about being sued for the first colonoscopy, the second is in collections, and I have to have a third (considered not doing it, Nick won't let me not do it). Now, Nick, a bankruptcy attorney, has gotten me out of the one, and we asked the collection agency to just send it to the law firm, they are waiting for it. Not sure when the hospital will catch up with me. Nick is angry that I am still paying phone bills for the 2 older ones, along with car insurance. the 18 y/o is the only one I should be helping, but he's the only one doing things for himself. I was supposed to be married by now, but I mentioned that Nick's partner (who is also his not-quite-ex wife) had no medical insurance and was dx'd with breast cancer. her treatment is about over, she is finished with chemo, almost done with radiation and herceptin shots. If all goes well, maybe June or July. However by then, Nicks son will be in Japan which screwed him out of having his son stand beside him.

SO much going on - all i want is to sit and cry most of the time. Just want to click my heels and make it all go away....

Buzzard said:

Seems passed time for a little (or a lot) of tough love
Advice is free so I will give ya some...As long as you continue to make life easy for your children they will stay and take full advantage of it. Why wouldn't they ? They have never known responsibility and as long as you enable them they never will...We all love our children but it is realistic for them to take the easiest route possible as long as they are not forced to do otherwise. We as parents owe it to them and ourselves to teach them , no matter how hard it may be, to have responsibilities in life, for without failure there is no experience, and if they never leave home there will be nothing for them to have to do or learn and it is actually doing them harm in not learning life skills. I understand everyone has hard times befall them at certain intervals in life, but its time for your children to act as they should, as young adults, and act as such. Tough Love, is very hard to dole out but some young adults seem to not learn any other way...The book "Tough Love" concentrates on Numero Uno..and how everything else in your life is second... Although in faith it is different but thats another thread all in its own. Find the book , buy it and read it...it will serve you very well in your shaping up of your children, it certainly helped me.......Love to you all..........Clift

abrub said:

Problems way after chemo
I'm 2 years out from chemo and still have problems with my feet and fingers, tho not too bad. At one year out, I could still barely walk. An Integrative Med MD put me on Alpha Lipoic Acid 600mg twice/day which worked wonders. Within a few weeks, I was tons better. Note: I wouldn't use this or any other supplement while in treatment without checking with my oncologist first. Some things that are good for you when you are not in treatment actually minimize the effects of chemo and/or radiation.

Please tell your dr about any remaining symptoms you have - he needs to know. There are other options out there for ongoing neuropathy (Neurontin, Lyrica, to name a few. My primary care dr was going to put me on Lyrica for my feet, but the ALA helped so much that I didn't need it, and Lyrica has enough side effects of its own.)

And I've also gained a lot of weight post-chemo. I thought it was just me, but I'm hearing more and more from people who gain wt after FOLFOX. I'm eating less and gaining more - figure.

Your medical team is there to answer ALL questions, big and small. They also need to know exactly what is going on with you in order to determine what to watch for.

Others have made good suggestions regarding your kids. Remember that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be there for them. You might want to remind them of that.

Wishing you a clear colonoscopy next week (I just had mine.)