popping back in to say hi, catch up, and to ask a question

daydreamer110761

hey i miss you guys, it's been a while. reading through the postings, ive been gone awhile, but thanx to Donna, I've kept up with farming at least! just really busy, all 3 kids back with me, alot of personal BS. long hours at work, flooding, etc. i'm so tired! mostly dont feel like talking. Brooks...same questions here too eh?

so, i have a 3rd colonoscopy next week. last one was in sept. they found something and cut it out, but tatooed so that when he goes back in he know where he was. that's what he's looking at next week. I have begun to exhibit many of the same symptoms that i had over a year ago, and wanted to ask what are the chances of something growing in 7-8 months time? I guess maybe i could be nervous and over-reacting.

I also wanted to ask you guys who are out of chemo - i've been done since may last year - my feet drive me nuts, my legs still ache, my hands aren't as bad but still make me crazy. i don't mention it to the doc, don't want to sound needy, there are many worse off than me, but i haven't had a good night sleep in over a year, and i am exhausted....ive gained weight, stress is awful between no sleep, needy kids, and TONS of other things. I think back to chemo and honestly, it was the only time no one asked anything from me, i'm so tired, what to do?

dianetavegia

Hi Sherrie
I was thinking about you last night because you just didn't seem yourself on Facebook. I'm glad you came to share and ask this question.

Colon cancer seldom, seldom returns in the colon.

I just got an all clear from my blood work and CT scan, as did a couple of my friends from other forums, yet we all had 'the same symptoms' .... I think mine was stress over the upcoming tests and being constipated a bit from taking so much calcium. My friend, GG, was even throwing up again. Nothing. All clear.

Sherrie, I remember you sharing a long time ago about the problems your kids were having. Now they're back home with their problems. No wonder you're unable to sleep! The weight gain is probably from stress eating. The job sucks. Loads of extra cleaning and cooking face you when you get home!

Two of the kids are over 18. Choose a time limit for them to find a place and move out. No excuses! The younger girl must keep to the rules and stay out of trouble or she can go back to jail. Give her a date that she will be 'grown and gone', too. 'Not in MY house' .... is a good motto.

Your health and your relationship with Nick are your future. The kids need to understand that Mom is still healing and needs time to rest, relax and enjoy life!

I've got 4 kids and 8 grandkids. Two of the grandkids are by marriage. Our daughter in law is much older than our son and both of her girls bring so many problems into their lives between drugs and this week's 'partner' problems. I worry that the girls will be the end to a beautiful relationship and I see a deep love and lovely relationship between you and Nick.

dorookie

I hear ya
Seem like back when I was on Chemo I got more rest and less stress. Now my left leg is always a problem, its either numb or tingling, severe back pain (not sure what is causing it), exhausted all the time, depressed and stressed...you are not alone...


Beth

daydreamer110761

dorookie said:

I hear ya
Seem like back when I was on Chemo I got more rest and less stress. Now my left leg is always a problem, its either numb or tingling, severe back pain (not sure what is causing it), exhausted all the time, depressed and stressed...you are not alone...


Beth

Stress....ha!
I believe most of it is caused by stress, but the achy legs, sore cold numb feet, and the hands, I'm sure are leftovers from chemo, just wish it would quit. Nick says he hasn't seen me sleep all night in a long time - I fight with blankets - on, off, on, off...

Stress, Diane....lol! My kids. Lets say that at least all 3 are working now, yeah! My oldest (27) is part time at a pizza place (new one and at least its great pizza for a change here in the midwest). However, he eats us out of house and home. if it ain't moving, he's eating it. hardly ever see him, he doesn't come out of his room much. plans to go back to maine around the end of the summer - not soon enough. the middle child, my daughter (19) I tossed her out in December after finding that she had her b/f staying here - again, the second time, which was the reason I tossed her the first time - no respect. She now lives with the b/f's grandmother, works part time under the table and is on food stamps and MA. the youngest (about to be 18) is the one that I rescued from jail. It was a good program, but I spent 5000.00 on a lawyer to get him there (mind you I am in MN and he was in FLA). when it was time for him to be released, I flew to FLA to get him. Since he has been back, he joined the youth group at church, but I'm thinking it's more of a cover. I gave him the freedom to spend a night with a friend he ended up with another group of people, and was brought home at 3am by the police for riding in a stolen car. Now, he wasn't in trouble with them, but the fact is, the police brought him home, and on a night where I (and Nick)had to be up at 430 for a busy day at work. Granted, he was crying, but I believe it was because he was more scared of going to jail or Nick throwing him out. Since then he is doing ok, he's got a job, I'm teaching him about bank accounts, etc.

Stress - the medical bills are starting to haunt me. I have spent my savings on my kids, which really wasn't much anyway. But got a letter from a lawyer about being sued for the first colonoscopy, the second is in collections, and I have to have a third (considered not doing it, Nick won't let me not do it). Now, Nick, a bankruptcy attorney, has gotten me out of the one, and we asked the collection agency to just send it to the law firm, they are waiting for it. Not sure when the hospital will catch up with me. Nick is angry that I am still paying phone bills for the 2 older ones, along with car insurance. the 18 y/o is the only one I should be helping, but he's the only one doing things for himself. I was supposed to be married by now, but I mentioned that Nick's partner (who is also his not-quite-ex wife) had no medical insurance and was dx'd with breast cancer. her treatment is about over, she is finished with chemo, almost done with radiation and herceptin shots. If all goes well, maybe June or July. However by then, Nicks son will be in Japan which screwed him out of having his son stand beside him.

SO much going on - all i want is to sit and cry most of the time. Just want to click my heels and make it all go away....

Shayenne

dorookie said:

I hear ya
Seem like back when I was on Chemo I got more rest and less stress. Now my left leg is always a problem, its either numb or tingling, severe back pain (not sure what is causing it), exhausted all the time, depressed and stressed...you are not alone...


Beth

Heya Sherrie!
I hate to hear you been stressed out girl, and I know the feeling with the kids in the house. I have a 19 year old girl who is awesome, but I could never kick her out of my house. I know these teens have it alot harder now, there is no employment around here for them, she just lost her job, because the store closed, and is going to school, and now she is having a hard time finding another job, so, there be no way I could kick any of my kids out if they aren't causing me trouble. I know she's a huge help to me when she is here too, she helps me when I'm too fatigued to get out of bed, does the laundry, dishes, pays the water bill (well, used too, but since she lost her job, is struggling to find a job to get money again). She has friends who are graduating college, with 4 year degrees, and can't even find jobs, and still have to live with their parents. I love my kids, and I'd do anything to help them, as long as they were respectful, and doing their parts around here.

If the kids aren't helping you, or are just taking advantage of you, and not doing their part, then I'd have to think about not being used as an ATM, and have them try to get jobs, and find somewhere else to live. You do not want the kids to walk all over you either.

If you want to talk about it even in PM about it, I am here for you. I hope you are ok, and nothing has grown, don't keep thinking of the worse (I know, easier said then done)..but keep the mind positive, focus on other things that make you happy when you feel yourself getting down. I usually walk away from what's bothering me, go into a room all by myself, and just collect myself together, without saying a word. Just close my eyes and pretend I am somewhere else, sometimes, someone else. And it makes me more relaxed. And don't be afraid to ask your onc about anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds, those help alot, and don't make me as weepy as a I used to be. You're a strong woman, and can get through anything!

When the heck are you and Nick getting married anyway??? you were supposed to be planning a wedding! focus on that, and have fun! And your farm is looking adorable! Make it bigger, and maybe put those animals in a fence, or I'll steal them! LOL! no, jk, we can't do that

I love ya girl!

Hugsss!
~Donna

AnneCan

daydreamer110761 said:

Stress....ha!
I believe most of it is caused by stress, but the achy legs, sore cold numb feet, and the hands, I'm sure are leftovers from chemo, just wish it would quit. Nick says he hasn't seen me sleep all night in a long time - I fight with blankets - on, off, on, off...

Stress, Diane....lol! My kids. Lets say that at least all 3 are working now, yeah! My oldest (27) is part time at a pizza place (new one and at least its great pizza for a change here in the midwest). However, he eats us out of house and home. if it ain't moving, he's eating it. hardly ever see him, he doesn't come out of his room much. plans to go back to maine around the end of the summer - not soon enough. the middle child, my daughter (19) I tossed her out in December after finding that she had her b/f staying here - again, the second time, which was the reason I tossed her the first time - no respect. She now lives with the b/f's grandmother, works part time under the table and is on food stamps and MA. the youngest (about to be 18) is the one that I rescued from jail. It was a good program, but I spent 5000.00 on a lawyer to get him there (mind you I am in MN and he was in FLA). when it was time for him to be released, I flew to FLA to get him. Since he has been back, he joined the youth group at church, but I'm thinking it's more of a cover. I gave him the freedom to spend a night with a friend he ended up with another group of people, and was brought home at 3am by the police for riding in a stolen car. Now, he wasn't in trouble with them, but the fact is, the police brought him home, and on a night where I (and Nick)had to be up at 430 for a busy day at work. Granted, he was crying, but I believe it was because he was more scared of going to jail or Nick throwing him out. Since then he is doing ok, he's got a job, I'm teaching him about bank accounts, etc.

Stress - the medical bills are starting to haunt me. I have spent my savings on my kids, which really wasn't much anyway. But got a letter from a lawyer about being sued for the first colonoscopy, the second is in collections, and I have to have a third (considered not doing it, Nick won't let me not do it). Now, Nick, a bankruptcy attorney, has gotten me out of the one, and we asked the collection agency to just send it to the law firm, they are waiting for it. Not sure when the hospital will catch up with me. Nick is angry that I am still paying phone bills for the 2 older ones, along with car insurance. the 18 y/o is the only one I should be helping, but he's the only one doing things for himself. I was supposed to be married by now, but I mentioned that Nick's partner (who is also his not-quite-ex wife) had no medical insurance and was dx'd with breast cancer. her treatment is about over, she is finished with chemo, almost done with radiation and herceptin shots. If all goes well, maybe June or July. However by then, Nicks son will be in Japan which screwed him out of having his son stand beside him.

SO much going on - all i want is to sit and cry most of the time. Just want to click my heels and make it all go away....

Hi Sherri,
I have been
Hi Sherri,

I have been wondering how you are doing. I have missed seeing your posts. I am sorry you are going through so much stress, + hope it will all get resolved soon. Take good care of yourself!

lisa42

daydreamer110761 said:

Stress....ha!
I believe most of it is caused by stress, but the achy legs, sore cold numb feet, and the hands, I'm sure are leftovers from chemo, just wish it would quit. Nick says he hasn't seen me sleep all night in a long time - I fight with blankets - on, off, on, off...

Stress, Diane....lol! My kids. Lets say that at least all 3 are working now, yeah! My oldest (27) is part time at a pizza place (new one and at least its great pizza for a change here in the midwest). However, he eats us out of house and home. if it ain't moving, he's eating it. hardly ever see him, he doesn't come out of his room much. plans to go back to maine around the end of the summer - not soon enough. the middle child, my daughter (19) I tossed her out in December after finding that she had her b/f staying here - again, the second time, which was the reason I tossed her the first time - no respect. She now lives with the b/f's grandmother, works part time under the table and is on food stamps and MA. the youngest (about to be 18) is the one that I rescued from jail. It was a good program, but I spent 5000.00 on a lawyer to get him there (mind you I am in MN and he was in FLA). when it was time for him to be released, I flew to FLA to get him. Since he has been back, he joined the youth group at church, but I'm thinking it's more of a cover. I gave him the freedom to spend a night with a friend he ended up with another group of people, and was brought home at 3am by the police for riding in a stolen car. Now, he wasn't in trouble with them, but the fact is, the police brought him home, and on a night where I (and Nick)had to be up at 430 for a busy day at work. Granted, he was crying, but I believe it was because he was more scared of going to jail or Nick throwing him out. Since then he is doing ok, he's got a job, I'm teaching him about bank accounts, etc.

Stress - the medical bills are starting to haunt me. I have spent my savings on my kids, which really wasn't much anyway. But got a letter from a lawyer about being sued for the first colonoscopy, the second is in collections, and I have to have a third (considered not doing it, Nick won't let me not do it). Now, Nick, a bankruptcy attorney, has gotten me out of the one, and we asked the collection agency to just send it to the law firm, they are waiting for it. Not sure when the hospital will catch up with me. Nick is angry that I am still paying phone bills for the 2 older ones, along with car insurance. the 18 y/o is the only one I should be helping, but he's the only one doing things for himself. I was supposed to be married by now, but I mentioned that Nick's partner (who is also his not-quite-ex wife) had no medical insurance and was dx'd with breast cancer. her treatment is about over, she is finished with chemo, almost done with radiation and herceptin shots. If all goes well, maybe June or July. However by then, Nicks son will be in Japan which screwed him out of having his son stand beside him.

SO much going on - all i want is to sit and cry most of the time. Just want to click my heels and make it all go away....

Sheri
Hi Sheri,

I can feel the stress oozing off the page when I read- you poor girl! You have got to get to a good counselor who can help you come up with some strategies behaviorally to deal with everyone and everything, and to help you be able to de-stress. You can't heal with that much stress in your life! I will be praying for your health and your kid situation. Vent here anytime you feel the need- we can certainly take it and it will give you a little bit of relief to just vent from time to time.

Have you talked to your doctor about taking anything for the stress/anxiety over all this? It could just be temporary, and it could help take the edge off you a bit, stress-wise. Dear- please do take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Lisa

daydreamer110761

Shayenne said:

Heya Sherrie!
I hate to hear you been stressed out girl, and I know the feeling with the kids in the house. I have a 19 year old girl who is awesome, but I could never kick her out of my house. I know these teens have it alot harder now, there is no employment around here for them, she just lost her job, because the store closed, and is going to school, and now she is having a hard time finding another job, so, there be no way I could kick any of my kids out if they aren't causing me trouble. I know she's a huge help to me when she is here too, she helps me when I'm too fatigued to get out of bed, does the laundry, dishes, pays the water bill (well, used too, but since she lost her job, is struggling to find a job to get money again). She has friends who are graduating college, with 4 year degrees, and can't even find jobs, and still have to live with their parents. I love my kids, and I'd do anything to help them, as long as they were respectful, and doing their parts around here.

If the kids aren't helping you, or are just taking advantage of you, and not doing their part, then I'd have to think about not being used as an ATM, and have them try to get jobs, and find somewhere else to live. You do not want the kids to walk all over you either.

If you want to talk about it even in PM about it, I am here for you. I hope you are ok, and nothing has grown, don't keep thinking of the worse (I know, easier said then done)..but keep the mind positive, focus on other things that make you happy when you feel yourself getting down. I usually walk away from what's bothering me, go into a room all by myself, and just collect myself together, without saying a word. Just close my eyes and pretend I am somewhere else, sometimes, someone else. And it makes me more relaxed. And don't be afraid to ask your onc about anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds, those help alot, and don't make me as weepy as a I used to be. You're a strong woman, and can get through anything!

When the heck are you and Nick getting married anyway??? you were supposed to be planning a wedding! focus on that, and have fun! And your farm is looking adorable! Make it bigger, and maybe put those animals in a fence, or I'll steal them! LOL! no, jk, we can't do that

I love ya girl!

Hugsss!
~Donna

hey donna
Ya know, as bad as they can be, I love all 3 of my kids. I guess that's why I have a hard time saying no. When it was just mandee here, and I was doing treatment, she was a help, she would cook, do laundry, etc. soon as the plug came out for the last time tho - watch out! I do feel like a walking ATM, although I don't hand them cash (NONE of them) i pay the phone bills, mostly so that mandee can stay in touch with me.

My oldest came here so that he could go back to school, and that has not transpired, it took him 4 months to find a job. what he actually found was the computer and he is glued to it.

The most stressful thing is that Carl doesn't like joe, joe can't stand carl, carl uses mandee only when he wants something, and nick can't stand any of them, mostly because he is watching them make me crazy! ALL of them want my attention. my days off i spend taking one of them somewhere. It's all hard to explain, but you get the gist of it. today is my day off of work, and it's hard to get moving - all i want to do is curl up and sleep. but, alas, must go food shopping and do some laundry, take joe to work, and cook dinner. Not to mention that we have a kitten with a liver problem and an old dog with a tumor (the vet bills are going to be horrible too both need surgery - dog is next week) that I am chasing around with a carpet cleaner.....don't they make doggie diapers?

Buzzard

daydreamer110761 said:

hey donna
Ya know, as bad as they can be, I love all 3 of my kids. I guess that's why I have a hard time saying no. When it was just mandee here, and I was doing treatment, she was a help, she would cook, do laundry, etc. soon as the plug came out for the last time tho - watch out! I do feel like a walking ATM, although I don't hand them cash (NONE of them) i pay the phone bills, mostly so that mandee can stay in touch with me.

My oldest came here so that he could go back to school, and that has not transpired, it took him 4 months to find a job. what he actually found was the computer and he is glued to it.

The most stressful thing is that Carl doesn't like joe, joe can't stand carl, carl uses mandee only when he wants something, and nick can't stand any of them, mostly because he is watching them make me crazy! ALL of them want my attention. my days off i spend taking one of them somewhere. It's all hard to explain, but you get the gist of it. today is my day off of work, and it's hard to get moving - all i want to do is curl up and sleep. but, alas, must go food shopping and do some laundry, take joe to work, and cook dinner. Not to mention that we have a kitten with a liver problem and an old dog with a tumor (the vet bills are going to be horrible too both need surgery - dog is next week) that I am chasing around with a carpet cleaner.....don't they make doggie diapers?

Seems passed time for a little (or a lot) of tough love
Advice is free so I will give ya some...As long as you continue to make life easy for your children they will stay and take full advantage of it. Why wouldn't they ? They have never known responsibility and as long as you enable them they never will...We all love our children but it is realistic for them to take the easiest route possible as long as they are not forced to do otherwise. We as parents owe it to them and ourselves to teach them , no matter how hard it may be, to have responsibilities in life, for without failure there is no experience, and if they never leave home there will be nothing for them to have to do or learn and it is actually doing them harm in not learning life skills. I understand everyone has hard times befall them at certain intervals in life, but its time for your children to act as they should, as young adults, and act as such. Tough Love, is very hard to dole out but some young adults seem to not learn any other way...The book "Tough Love" concentrates on Numero Uno..and how everything else in your life is second... Although in faith it is different but thats another thread all in its own. Find the book , buy it and read it...it will serve you very well in your shaping up of your children, it certainly helped me.......Love to you all..........Clift

maglets

Buzzard said:

Seems passed time for a little (or a lot) of tough love
Advice is free so I will give ya some...As long as you continue to make life easy for your children they will stay and take full advantage of it. Why wouldn't they ? They have never known responsibility and as long as you enable them they never will...We all love our children but it is realistic for them to take the easiest route possible as long as they are not forced to do otherwise. We as parents owe it to them and ourselves to teach them , no matter how hard it may be, to have responsibilities in life, for without failure there is no experience, and if they never leave home there will be nothing for them to have to do or learn and it is actually doing them harm in not learning life skills. I understand everyone has hard times befall them at certain intervals in life, but its time for your children to act as they should, as young adults, and act as such. Tough Love, is very hard to dole out but some young adults seem to not learn any other way...The book "Tough Love" concentrates on Numero Uno..and how everything else in your life is second... Although in faith it is different but thats another thread all in its own. Find the book , buy it and read it...it will serve you very well in your shaping up of your children, it certainly helped me.......Love to you all..........Clift

I am sooo glad
I am going to reply first and then go back and read through your posts. I am SO glad to see you Sherrie....all those long chemo times together.

So I have no advice ....you are having one heck of a rotten time.

I never sleep either but I too have thought of you often.

nice to see you....I'll go and read all your posts now

great big huge hugs....

mags

abrub

Problems way after chemo
I'm 2 years out from chemo and still have problems with my feet and fingers, tho not too bad. At one year out, I could still barely walk. An Integrative Med MD put me on Alpha Lipoic Acid 600mg twice/day which worked wonders. Within a few weeks, I was tons better. Note: I wouldn't use this or any other supplement while in treatment without checking with my oncologist first. Some things that are good for you when you are not in treatment actually minimize the effects of chemo and/or radiation.

Please tell your dr about any remaining symptoms you have - he needs to know. There are other options out there for ongoing neuropathy (Neurontin, Lyrica, to name a few. My primary care dr was going to put me on Lyrica for my feet, but the ALA helped so much that I didn't need it, and Lyrica has enough side effects of its own.)

And I've also gained a lot of weight post-chemo. I thought it was just me, but I'm hearing more and more from people who gain wt after FOLFOX. I'm eating less and gaining more - figure.

Your medical team is there to answer ALL questions, big and small. They also need to know exactly what is going on with you in order to determine what to watch for.

Others have made good suggestions regarding your kids. Remember that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be there for them. You might want to remind them of that.

Wishing you a clear colonoscopy next week (I just had mine.)

daydreamer110761

Buzzard said:

Seems passed time for a little (or a lot) of tough love
Advice is free so I will give ya some...As long as you continue to make life easy for your children they will stay and take full advantage of it. Why wouldn't they ? They have never known responsibility and as long as you enable them they never will...We all love our children but it is realistic for them to take the easiest route possible as long as they are not forced to do otherwise. We as parents owe it to them and ourselves to teach them , no matter how hard it may be, to have responsibilities in life, for without failure there is no experience, and if they never leave home there will be nothing for them to have to do or learn and it is actually doing them harm in not learning life skills. I understand everyone has hard times befall them at certain intervals in life, but its time for your children to act as they should, as young adults, and act as such. Tough Love, is very hard to dole out but some young adults seem to not learn any other way...The book "Tough Love" concentrates on Numero Uno..and how everything else in your life is second... Although in faith it is different but thats another thread all in its own. Find the book , buy it and read it...it will serve you very well in your shaping up of your children, it certainly helped me.......Love to you all..........Clift

you are soooo right
And believe it or not, you didn't say anything I don't already know. Trust me when I say I think all of those things, and there isn't anyone, even my parents who doesn't say it to me. Still, I make excuses - oh, carl didn't have a dad, lived on his own for the past ten years, and I should help him. however, he hasn't lived with me in over ten years, only visits, and I KNEW before I said yes that I wouldn't be able to stand having him in the same house with me for long! Yet, there was a glimmer of hope that he would maybe, this time, do something if given the chance. WRONG! He comes and goes as he pleases, mostly stays in his room (and Lord knows what is growing in there now), comes out to eat, and he eats everything (I keep counting the fish in the tank). Unless I ask, I have no idea what his work schedule is, he doesn't feel the need to tell me. the other two - they grew up with a lousy father, I split up the family...oh, I have TONS of excuses why I am trying to still take care of them. and THAT is what Nick gets angry about, and the fact that they all take advantage of me in one way or another. I know what I should do, but just don't have the heart to do it. I figure I will have a breakdown of sorts (maybe this is it) and finally blow my top.

As for asking about an antidepressant? I saw my onc back in december, due again in May. We talked about my weight, he said he know that I don't eat much and food isn't my problem, and then asked if I was depressed. I broke down and cried and said no just stressed - he suggested Lexapro - and I don't want that. That's all I need is to have to remember a pill.

I had one old friend - who knows my younger two - yell at me - telling me that I raised my kids just fine, regardless of their father, it's their problem they don't recognize that Nick is a great guy and they would prefer to walk all over us. What the kids see is that mom got a lawyer who will take care of her no matter what, so if they bleed me dry he will pick me up. She also reminded me about what this past year has been like, and that I am now supposed to weed out what isn't helping me.

All true, but how does one really tell their kid no and just watch them drown?

daydreamer110761

abrub said:

Problems way after chemo
I'm 2 years out from chemo and still have problems with my feet and fingers, tho not too bad. At one year out, I could still barely walk. An Integrative Med MD put me on Alpha Lipoic Acid 600mg twice/day which worked wonders. Within a few weeks, I was tons better. Note: I wouldn't use this or any other supplement while in treatment without checking with my oncologist first. Some things that are good for you when you are not in treatment actually minimize the effects of chemo and/or radiation.

Please tell your dr about any remaining symptoms you have - he needs to know. There are other options out there for ongoing neuropathy (Neurontin, Lyrica, to name a few. My primary care dr was going to put me on Lyrica for my feet, but the ALA helped so much that I didn't need it, and Lyrica has enough side effects of its own.)

And I've also gained a lot of weight post-chemo. I thought it was just me, but I'm hearing more and more from people who gain wt after FOLFOX. I'm eating less and gaining more - figure.

Your medical team is there to answer ALL questions, big and small. They also need to know exactly what is going on with you in order to determine what to watch for.

Others have made good suggestions regarding your kids. Remember that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be there for them. You might want to remind them of that.

Wishing you a clear colonoscopy next week (I just had mine.)

alpha lipoic acid
didn't work for me. I was on it during chemo for my hands, didnt help me a bit! At the moment, I am supposed to be taking glucophage for my diabetes (diagnosed the same time as the cancer). I will be a year out of treatment the end of may. I had every side effect possible from the diabetes thing, there was supposed to be another pill for cholesterol (lowered that myself). I'm supposed to be taking my blood sugar, but am out of strips and hate poking myself. I know most everything I am feeling is leftover chemo, but the last thing I want is more pills. During chemo, as most of us do, I felt like a walking drug store. It was nice to empty my purse (although I still carry immodium ALL the time!)

I am, however, going to look into the weight gain after folfox....interesting.

Jaylo969

abrub said:

Problems way after chemo
I'm 2 years out from chemo and still have problems with my feet and fingers, tho not too bad. At one year out, I could still barely walk. An Integrative Med MD put me on Alpha Lipoic Acid 600mg twice/day which worked wonders. Within a few weeks, I was tons better. Note: I wouldn't use this or any other supplement while in treatment without checking with my oncologist first. Some things that are good for you when you are not in treatment actually minimize the effects of chemo and/or radiation.

Please tell your dr about any remaining symptoms you have - he needs to know. There are other options out there for ongoing neuropathy (Neurontin, Lyrica, to name a few. My primary care dr was going to put me on Lyrica for my feet, but the ALA helped so much that I didn't need it, and Lyrica has enough side effects of its own.)

And I've also gained a lot of weight post-chemo. I thought it was just me, but I'm hearing more and more from people who gain wt after FOLFOX. I'm eating less and gaining more - figure.

Your medical team is there to answer ALL questions, big and small. They also need to know exactly what is going on with you in order to determine what to watch for.

Others have made good suggestions regarding your kids. Remember that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be there for them. You might want to remind them of that.

Wishing you a clear colonoscopy next week (I just had mine.)

Alpha Lipoic Acid
has also been recommended to me for after I get off chemo by my PCP. He suggested 600 mg/once day. I see abrub's doc recommended 2 x day so that is something I'll have to check into.

Good luck with your children.Sometimes as Buzz recommended "Tough Love" is what has to be done. I'm no expert by any means.

I have the same sleeping problems that you described. Some nights worse than others. My Doc just advised/suggested Ativan at night and it DOES work for me.

Hope your situation gets better soon.

-Pat

Buzzard

Jaylo969 said:

Alpha Lipoic Acid
has also been recommended to me for after I get off chemo by my PCP. He suggested 600 mg/once day. I see abrub's doc recommended 2 x day so that is something I'll have to check into.

Good luck with your children.Sometimes as Buzz recommended "Tough Love" is what has to be done. I'm no expert by any means.

I have the same sleeping problems that you described. Some nights worse than others. My Doc just advised/suggested Ativan at night and it DOES work for me.

Hope your situation gets better soon.

-Pat

As far as drowning........
I think that enough life jackets have been thrown to them as it is.....If they drown it will be with or without you, either way. There is a courtesy rule that suggests that they treat you with respect at all times...I think that is gone...kids are resilient and they see the "easy touch" with their mom...Oh yes they love you, and I know you love them as well, but they are getting absolutely no life lessons as long as you enable them. They see you blaming yourself in this matter and they are taking full advantage...I think a sit down heres how its gonna be talk is past due...good bad or ugly its time...and believe it or not it just might make them admit to them selves that they are being very self centered...try it and see the reaction you get...you may be surprised.....Love to you....Buzz

daydreamer110761

Buzzard said:

As far as drowning........
I think that enough life jackets have been thrown to them as it is.....If they drown it will be with or without you, either way. There is a courtesy rule that suggests that they treat you with respect at all times...I think that is gone...kids are resilient and they see the "easy touch" with their mom...Oh yes they love you, and I know you love them as well, but they are getting absolutely no life lessons as long as you enable them. They see you blaming yourself in this matter and they are taking full advantage...I think a sit down heres how its gonna be talk is past due...good bad or ugly its time...and believe it or not it just might make them admit to them selves that they are being very self centered...try it and see the reaction you get...you may be surprised.....Love to you....Buzz

buzz
i love you. bet nick does too.

lcarper2

Buzzard said:

As far as drowning........
I think that enough life jackets have been thrown to them as it is.....If they drown it will be with or without you, either way. There is a courtesy rule that suggests that they treat you with respect at all times...I think that is gone...kids are resilient and they see the "easy touch" with their mom...Oh yes they love you, and I know you love them as well, but they are getting absolutely no life lessons as long as you enable them. They see you blaming yourself in this matter and they are taking full advantage...I think a sit down heres how its gonna be talk is past due...good bad or ugly its time...and believe it or not it just might make them admit to them selves that they are being very self centered...try it and see the reaction you get...you may be surprised.....Love to you....Buzz

you are the most important
person in your house. I had not started my chemo and ex wife called and informed us that she was in a u-haul moving his daughter to live with us, and it was a nightmare for almost 4 months she had 2 cats and they made me sick I told her to keep her door closed and they was not to leave her room she didn't like that so I walked over got yellow pages and laid it on the table said you need to look up ywca they have rooms and your time just ran out here. She said you are not kidding are you I said do I look like I am? I than explained that I was number 1 in my house I didn't care if she liked the rules or not I didn't have to ask her permission to make them and I was not going to ask anyone to do more than I would do myself . She moved out and we are very close now . I say this to say you have to reclaim your home and not stand for anyone to run over you. I now have cancer again just found out and I called the ex and ask her if there were any more kids I didn't know about she said no . I said just checking not looking for anymore stress now...you need to remind every one just what you have been through and if you can't respect me as your mother than lets try a land lady hat on for a change and tell them how much they owe.

ann2008

Sherrie
One more comment if you can stand it. Please watch your glucose levels. The neuropathy from diabetes feels just like chemo neuropathy...painful. But the diabetes does not get better like the chemo kind can. I am 11 mo post chemo and my feet are killing me at this moment. I have taken Lyrica and gained 40 lbs(all I did was eat) Now I am on neurontin and feel some relief, but after being on my feet for long hours they still hurt. I still hope it will get better. I also take Ambien for sleep. Not every night but when needed.
But being a diabetic is so much more than just poking your finger. You should check into some classes from a local hospital. There are so many complications down the road that can result from not keeping good glucose control now. Also stress affects your glucose levels too.
Your family needs to know that your health comes first. I too was stretching myself thin and then exhausted but everyone would be gone and nobody to do anything for me. I finally started taking a nap when I felt tired, cooked IF I wanted to, washed only mine and husbands clothes. I told my 2 kids that if dishes were dirty to wash them, pick up after themselves or cellphones and internet would be disconnected. They turned around and said all you had to do was ask! Good luck with everything, Ann

Buzzard

daydreamer110761 said:

buzz
i love you. bet nick does too.

I love you too sweetheart....
it will work out for ya.....promise..... ;-)