emotional mess today

sorry for what you're going through
Chemo is a hard thing to get through, physically and emotionally. Like you said, everyone is different. I was only able to work 1 week a month and sometimes I wound up going home! Don't be too hard on yourself and remember you will get through!

So sorry you're having a bad day
This just isn't easy. Especially when you're used to being a healthy, vibrant, capable person, and chemo temporarily knocks you down.

Know that it WILL get better , and we're here for you.

HUGZ
Cindy

You are not alone
I am having some of your same issues. I have my second chemo next Thursday but I've had the diarrhea and a port that I hate, a low grade temp off and on. I haven't worked a full day since my treatment, just 5 hours on days when I can go in. Today my hair started falling out. Its okay to vent, I think its a good thing. We may have to go through this but we don't have to like it. I have up and down emotions and my oncologist says its normal. The first visit with him, he gave me a prescription for Ativan and it helps with the emotions and also the nausea from chemo. I think your feelings are totally normal.

Hang in there
I understand how hard it can be. We've all gotten to a point in treatments were we get emotional. You've been through a lot. Just when you think you've handled one thing, something else arises. Your emotions are normal, just hang in there and know it gets better.

I have a male employee who is going through a serious health issue. He called me in tears because it had just gotten to him emotionally too. He later said he felt embarrassed that he was crying while speaking to his female boss. He knows of my health issues, so knew that when I told him it was normal and I understood, that I was really relating to his emotions. He now laughs about it, but also tells me it helped that he could be emotional and it was ok, I wasn't judging or mocking him.

I relate this to you in hopes you know that most people will understand your "emotional melt down." It's ok and do what you need to do for yourself and your family. The weight gain may very well be temporary. For right now, don't let it worry you. Put your efforts into your treatments so you can get through them and get better. Then move on to what you need to do.

There is a book my husband found informational and helped him. It is called Breast Cancer Husband. I can't remember the authors name, but it was written by a man whose wife had breast cancer.

I wish you the best and know that you can always come here to vent.

Barb

Be Good To Yourself
Sorry it is a rough time for you. The Pink Sisters have already given you alot of good advice, that I will probably echo here. Put your effort into fighting cancer and completing your treatments. In the end it is more valuable than your job or anything else. Be good to yourself, and don't expect that you will tough it out. Ask for help when you need it. People are usually more than happy to do something nice for someone else. It makes them feel good too, so don't feel bad about asking. I don't think I know of anyone who has made it through all that this brings us to without some sort of melt down. For me, anti-depressants made all the difference. Before I was so against what some call "mood altering" drugs, but hey - my mood needed help, so I got it. Just taking the anxiety down a level or two helped me to think more clearly. Ports feel funny at first, and take a little getting used to. For months I hated mine too. Especially when I would shower and the water hit it. But now it doesn't bother me at all, and I am glad it was put in. When you are used to being the giver, and you suddenly are put in the situation of having to be given to, you find yourself out of the comfort zone you are used to. That is piled on top of all the other things you have to deal with. Yeah, no wonder we have an occasional melt down. Just be as good to yourself as much as you can. I believe it is illegal for an employer to fire an employee because they are sick. Please keep posting.
Sharon

Hope you are feeling better
Hope you are feeling better now. Hang in there. Every day that passes is closer to the finish. Lots of others have taken leave if they need to. Hugs.

Emotional Mess
I have just joined this emotional roller coaster. I was diagnosed on March 10th, completed two rounds of surgery and am awaiting genetic study results to determine treatment options. I am fortunate to have undergone a partial mastectomy and it appears that it was caught early. I am generally a healthy person and the news that day was devastating as I am sure you understand and I cried the hardest I have in a very long time. Then the Warrior Woman in me surfaced and said I can beat this and be damned with scars or loss of hair. It's almost summertime anyhow and I keep hearing bald is beautiful. ;-) I have a tremendous support group of friends and family and find people coming out of the woodwork almost daily to drop me a note of encouragement through emails or cards. This week I returned to work part time and while I am ready to come home at lunch, I am encouraged that I am being productive and my mind is active with positive thoughts. Sitting at home was driving me crazy. I know that entering the treatment phase will change a lot of things, but I am determined to keep a positive attitude and realized tears make you strong, not weak. I hope your ride smooths out and you will continue to make good progress and most of all continue to vent, it's highly therapuetic.

Best wishes!!

Deb