A change of heart

?
Some ladies do feel hopeless I imagine, Marley, but those of us that don't need to encourage them.

I believe it is the Joy of the Lord you are really talking about.☺ Being joyful and being happy are different. Happiness is temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God's presence within us. True joy is far deeper than happiness; we can feel joy in spite of our deepest troubles. And we all have troubles whether it is illness, children, jobs, marriage, etc.

Many great prophets in the Bible needed encouragement, some even wished death because of their troubles. Paul encouraged Timothy. The Bible tells us we also go through trials so we can help those going through the same thing.

I encourage you not to lose hope in those who feel discouraged at this time. We are all different, we express our concerns and needs differently and most of all none of us are perfect. That is why we need each other.

I enjoy every single day of my life whether I am home, fishing, reading, cooking, cleaning, having chemo ☺, with my husband, kids, grandkids - it is a gift. But I also realize that it is not about me. When I do leave this world (whenever that is) I want Jesus to say to me, "Well done thy good and faithful servant."

Living for Eternity,
Libby

Confused
I am confused. I do not see the hopelessness you refer to and feel the ladies on this board are the best of the best in what they(we) are dealing with. Have you read about all the cruises taken and planned? I really take offense to your post and do not think you are contributing anything positive.
This board has been a place where we can share our deepest feelings and not feel rejected. There is only love and acceptance here, until now. I do not understand your anger. This journey is not always a bed of roses.
Hmm. This is April Fool's day. Maybe this is a joke???

Wow
Even if you perceive hopelessness and discouragement, to even insinuate that it's from this board is both outrageous and pathetic. The women on this board are fighting for their very lives on a daily basis in a most courageous, caring and loving manner. If you want to leave the board, go...but please do not try to displace and project your insecurities and arrogant bravado on my on-line friends. Perhaps you might want to put away the microscope and pick up a mirror. Your negative view of what occurs on this board is a sad thing. I will pray for you to have an intervention from God so that you may learn about what humanity and compassion are. In the mean time, no one pressured you to participate on this board, so the respectful way to leave would be to do so quietly and with regard for others.

Fear
Marleyboo2,
You get on my nerves. I am NED and also in remission, but when I was not, this board and these ladies gave me great support and I knew I was with a group of people that knew exactly how I felt. You do have a right to your own opinion, but there are still people on here fighting for there life. A positive attitude is great, but it will not cure an existing tumor. Everytime the "fear" comes into my head, I do chase it away. I have had breast cancer 3 times and ovarian cancer 1 time. I have fought long and hard. It is reasonable to expect that I may have suffered some emotional trama. I have a very positive attitude. I am currently going to nursing school, I run a small computer business, I have 3 sons, I shop till I drop, I go to alot of antique auctions, and antique shows. I am loving life and appreciate everyday god has given me. There was a time a year ago, that I was so sick I could not do much of anything. I praise god everyday. If it was not for him guiding the surgeons hand and my medical team and giving me the strength to get through all of this, I probably would not be here today. I could have a re-occurence anyday, but I do not much care. You said nobody ask you how you got this far, well how did you get this far? I want to know exactly how you got this far. I want to know week by week for the last 5 years. Tell us your story. Don't be evasive. On the flip side, I think it is wonderful that you have been in remission for 5 1/2 years. Every person that is healthy after this ordeal, warms my heart. I am happy, happy, happy for you. Try to be alittle more sensitive and give people good advice based on your experience. Remember, that if it was not for that surgeon, you would not be here today. Thank-You, Paula

Hissy_Fitz said:

Marley...
I'm sorry you feel
Marley...

I'm sorry you feel that we are all gloom and doom here. I have a different perspective. I think the posters encompass a very wide range of attitudes - from a few who think their days are numbered to a few who don't want to know the extent of their disease. I am somewhere in the middle, as I think most of us are. I absolutely live every day to the fullest. I took my indoor plants outside today, back into the sunshine and warm Spring breeze. I have dinner plans with my husband, as well as my middle son and his family. I had lunch with my daughter. I am making plans for Easter and the dinner I will be cooking/hosting for about 20 family members. And I filed my income taxes yesterday. No surer sign that I expect to stick around awhile than writing Uncle Sam a big check.

I agree with Abe Lincoln......most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. That does not, however, mean that I cannot/should not take a realistic, pro-active role in managing my health. I chose to do a year of Taxol maintenance, even though I am presently NED. That is not the same thing as feeling "hopeless". I think of it more as chicken soup - it can't hurt and it might help push back a recurrence.

I respect your point of view. I respect the person's point of view who believes God will heal her and chooses not to do chemotherapy. And I respect the person who feels the need to get her affairs in order, "just in case". I think there is room for all of us on the board. There is no right or wrong way to fight cancer. People with rotten attitudes sometimes live on for years and years, in spite of themselves, and people with cheerful, I'm-gonna-be-fine mind sets die. Those are facts. You cannot cure cancer with a positive attitude, but it sure can't hurt and it makes the interim so much more enjoyable. I completely agree with you in that respect.

Carlene

My words too.
Carlene, you said it so well. The important thing is that we have each other for all of the roller coaster times. Saundra

marleyboo2 said:

Sorry
I probably was talking to a couple of people and including everyone. We are all in a battle for our lives. Me included. When I was so sick and laid in bed for one entire year I just wanted someone to tell me that one day I would stand up, walk tall, and not be in the mess I was in. I was emaciated and dehydrated adn spent most of my time in the hospital. I felt I could beat the odds if I had some hope. Actually when you all got mad and started telling about your busy lives and what you do outside of cancer I saw the fight and the hope that I had neeeded so badly when I was sick. I was too sick to get on a computer but I know I felt helpless then. I apologize again for making it sound as though I was talking to everyone but I did feel that my thinking although different was somehow unnacceptable. My heart does out to every one of you and you courage. Cancer is NOT for the faint hearted it takes so much courage to face it fight it. You have me wayyy wrong.

marlyboo
Hi. I have recurrent cancer. It doesn't look like the chemo is working so I'm having a scan this month before my next chemo to see if we have to change things up. I have a huge chest cold and just got home from seeing a physician's assistant who gave me an antibiotic and said she thought I had a wonderful attitude with everything I'm going through. A week from Sunday I'm leaving for a wonderful cruise to Bermuda. I have another cruise planned to Alaska in August. I'm working full time and people just constantly tell me they appreciate how upbeat I am.

I say all this to show you that most of us on this board are this way. Carlene just started a very fun thread about makeup and hair ideas. We all have let Saundra know we are praying for her as she goes through a very scary surgey next week.

I appreciate your saying you're sorry and saying that maybe just a couple of people have brought you down. I don't know who those people would be, but I'm sure we all read some posts that don't make us feel upbeat. I hope you'll stay and we can all learn from each other. We're all going through the same thing, and we can be open and caring to all.

Thanks, Marylboo. I like your new picture with the horse.

Marty

kayandok said:

Marley,
so many of the girls have articulated a lot of my same feelings. You may be a bit surprised at the nerve you have touched, but thank you for giving us an opportunity to express what this board means to us. This is a support group of awesome women!!!!!I I don't know where i would be without them. I have never met them, but feel very close for having shared very personal feelings with many of them. And I have only received love, support, listening ears and good advice.

I am on 3rd line chemo every 28 days, and have severe neuropathy. But, today I'm organizing an Easter Egg Hunt for the little ones at church. I just finished stuffing all the eggs, and we are headed out to a beautiful botanical garden with cherry trees in full bloom to have a picnic. It is going to be a day full of laughter and fun.

And tomorrow is Easter here in Japan, I have organized all the food for a lunch for after church to celebrate Christ's resurrection. I think Easter is one of my favorite holidays. It is all about new life and new beginnings!!!!

I try to live each day to the fullest and find joy and peace in spite of my body not always wanting to cooperate!!

Wishing you the very best,
Kathleen

I suspect that I am one of
I suspect that I am one of the people Marley finds somewhat pessimistic, just because I do post stats occasionally. Truly, I try not to do that too often, as I know it scares people, and others just plain don't like it.

Intellectually, I have a hard time with any mind-set that refuses to acknowledge simple facts. It is, like it or not, a fact that 22,000 women were diagnosed with OVCA last year. It is a fact that 15,000 women died of OVCA in 2009. Not all of those 15,000 women had optimum care, but it's a safe bet that they didn't all die because of their poor attitude, either. Or because they ate sugar, or acidic foods, or meat, etc. There is no magic pill, diet, mantra, prayer, supplement cocktail, or other treatment that will cure 100% of the people who try it. That's a fact. But, since spontaneous remission does occur, every single one of them will have a success story now and again. If you took 10,000 cancer patients and fed them a diet of carrot juice and broccoli for a year, one or two would be NED at the end of the "treatment". But you would get similar results, no matter what special diet your patients adhered to. Did you ever notice how those curative diets never recommend stuff like chocolate cake and Jack Daniels? It's always asparagus or turnips....things nobody really wants to eat a lot of, long-term. Is that so it will feel more like medicine?

Having said all that, I would like to add that I am a Christian and I believe with all my heart in the power of prayer. God answers prayers....we just don't always get the answer we want. And that, too, is a fact. Still, I recommend it. And I certainly think it's a better bet than asparagus and turnips, or "magic" vitamins. God lives within all of us. His grace is abundant, all-powerful, and best of all......free.

Carlene.........getting off her soapbox now.

ETA....Like Marley, I had a ton of complications following my diagnosis. I had a bowel obstruction, a huge surgery (including bowel resection), blood transfusions, had to be fed TPN (via my chest port), etc. I spent 16 days in the hospital and lost 30 pounds. After my first chemo treatment, I left the building in a wheelchair. My CA 125 was 4,000 prior to surgery and my cancer is stage III c. None of that matters now, because I am NED. Praise the Lord, and thank you, Dr M.