A change of heart

Unknown

Hissy_Fitz said:

I suspect that I am one of
I suspect that I am one of the people Marley finds somewhat pessimistic, just because I do post stats occasionally. Truly, I try not to do that too often, as I know it scares people, and others just plain don't like it.

Intellectually, I have a hard time with any mind-set that refuses to acknowledge simple facts. It is, like it or not, a fact that 22,000 women were diagnosed with OVCA last year. It is a fact that 15,000 women died of OVCA in 2009. Not all of those 15,000 women had optimum care, but it's a safe bet that they didn't all die because of their poor attitude, either. Or because they ate sugar, or acidic foods, or meat, etc. There is no magic pill, diet, mantra, prayer, supplement cocktail, or other treatment that will cure 100% of the people who try it. That's a fact. But, since spontaneous remission does occur, every single one of them will have a success story now and again. If you took 10,000 cancer patients and fed them a diet of carrot juice and broccoli for a year, one or two would be NED at the end of the "treatment". But you would get similar results, no matter what special diet your patients adhered to. Did you ever notice how those curative diets never recommend stuff like chocolate cake and Jack Daniels? It's always asparagus or turnips....things nobody really wants to eat a lot of, long-term. Is that so it will feel more like medicine?

Having said all that, I would like to add that I am a Christian and I believe with all my heart in the power of prayer. God answers prayers....we just don't always get the answer we want. And that, too, is a fact. Still, I recommend it. And I certainly think it's a better bet than asparagus and turnips, or "magic" vitamins. God lives within all of us. His grace is abundant, all-powerful, and best of all......free.

Carlene.........getting off her soapbox now.

ETA....Like Marley, I had a ton of complications following my diagnosis. I had a bowel obstruction, a huge surgery (including bowel resection), blood transfusions, had to be fed TPN (via my chest port), etc. I spent 16 days in the hospital and lost 30 pounds. After my first chemo treatment, I left the building in a wheelchair. My CA 125 was 4,000 prior to surgery and my cancer is stage III c. None of that matters now, because I am NED. Praise the Lord, and thank you, Dr M.

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

catcan

Lisa13Q said:

Hi Marleyboo
Sorry if we have read you way wrong and please know that we are here to be supportive, and as cancerx4 says, we are protective of all of us here because well, we are a club....There are also those of us here who do not have the cancer, but love those who do....We are the ones who sit by the bedsides every day and bring our mothers and sisters grilled cheeses and soups and milkshakes and stand there while we make sure they eat. we bring them their potassium and magnesium and sodium when their kidneys will not absorb it. We drive to chemos and watch the people we love being infused with a poison that is going to make them ill...we change jobs, schedules and travel plans in order to help provide hope and that will to live. We watch as you all put up a great fight that we are powerless to do anything about. I pray that you had that person next to you during your year...and please feel free to share your feelings...we love everyone here fighting the fight...I don't want to see anyone here misunderstood, but I also don't want to see anyone here hurt by mis-perceptions. These ladies have save me from hopelessness and alientation on so many occassions. I read this board to my mother at times for encouragement. I don't want someone to be angered away...we all need to fight this horrid disease together....

Comment to Marleyboo
Well said Lisa. I was out shopping with my 13 year old grandaughter today and spent the evening with my 2 yr old grandaughter and 1 yr old grandson. I have another grandchild coming in Oct and live everyday to the fullest. I plan on being here for many more years and have found this site to be full of support and a lot of good advice. Best wishes for you Marleboo and I agree only to the part of living life to the fullest.

Cat

msfanciful

Hello Marley,
Even if you do
Hello Marley,

Even if you do not post again, I have to say I am in agreement with all of these ladies on this board, not to just be in agreement with anyone or in disagreement with you, but because our reasons for being on this board is to enpower our beings with the knowledge of what we are fighting (which is why I value each and every bit of info i receive about this insidious disease we are all living with). Have you ever heard to know thy enemy is power?

Just being given the knowledge of this disease from these ladies' experiences is a wealth of power in itself. Since I have been on this board; I no



longer lie awake at night wondering what will happen next? I no longer panic at every little ache and pain that may hit me. In fact, the only place I found peace and power of prayer and mental spirit is through this board.

Again, everyone has said it; but this discussion board is all about life, not death. The union of these ladies shouts "fight, fight, fight", not "sit down and die".

Do you misconstrue our questions, fears, concerns as giving up? We are only human Marley and if we were to say we DON'T have them it would surely be a denial, which makes me wonder that you may be more in denial than you care to admit.
My Case in point being what's so wrong at wanting to fight this disease to extend ones' life? Why would one want to just CLAIM "I don't have cancer" without following that claim up with a solid exam. Staying on top of this cancer Marley means extending ones' life another day, it doesn't mean we're having exams to keep ourselves in fear!

We all have a life too and I certainly tell people everyday "If I'm going to live with or without cancer, then I am going to live."

Your opinions about what we are about seem to be a bit warped and it makes me believe, you are more afraid than you care to admit. But if you are, it's okay!
Now I am up this morning due to my steriods and I am going to bed soon. But trust me I'll have plenty of time to get some rest for my next sky-diving adventure later today!

Cindy54

msfanciful said:

Hello Marley,
Even if you do
Hello Marley,

Even if you do not post again, I have to say I am in agreement with all of these ladies on this board, not to just be in agreement with anyone or in disagreement with you, but because our reasons for being on this board is to enpower our beings with the knowledge of what we are fighting (which is why I value each and every bit of info i receive about this insidious disease we are all living with). Have you ever heard to know thy enemy is power?

Just being given the knowledge of this disease from these ladies' experiences is a wealth of power in itself. Since I have been on this board; I no



longer lie awake at night wondering what will happen next? I no longer panic at every little ache and pain that may hit me. In fact, the only place I found peace and power of prayer and mental spirit is through this board.

Again, everyone has said it; but this discussion board is all about life, not death. The union of these ladies shouts "fight, fight, fight", not "sit down and die".

Do you misconstrue our questions, fears, concerns as giving up? We are only human Marley and if we were to say we DON'T have them it would surely be a denial, which makes me wonder that you may be more in denial than you care to admit.
My Case in point being what's so wrong at wanting to fight this disease to extend ones' life? Why would one want to just CLAIM "I don't have cancer" without following that claim up with a solid exam. Staying on top of this cancer Marley means extending ones' life another day, it doesn't mean we're having exams to keep ourselves in fear!

We all have a life too and I certainly tell people everyday "If I'm going to live with or without cancer, then I am going to live."

Your opinions about what we are about seem to be a bit warped and it makes me believe, you are more afraid than you care to admit. But if you are, it's okay!
Now I am up this morning due to my steriods and I am going to bed soon. But trust me I'll have plenty of time to get some rest for my next sky-diving adventure later today!

For Marley and Everyone ....
I don't post very often here anymore, but I still read to keep up on what is happening with everyone. I don't post often because sometimes I feel so inadequate to try and help or encourage somone with a reply. So many have gone through so much and I got away fairly well. But I always remember how supportive this board was when I took care of my Mom. Your suggestions and encouragement got me through so much. Then you all stepped up and gave the same support to me when I was battling. I pray for all of you and at times my heart hurts for you.I would not have made it through without you all. We all handle things differently. It is not always easy to look or be positive all the time. I am glad that Marley has reached the place where she can be so optimistic. And maybe it came off as being a little preachy. But I don't think she meant it to be that. At least I hope not. Sometimes we can get so excited by what has worked/helped us that we come off strong when we talk to others about it. I truly hope Marley, that you aren't just denying what you feel inside. It's ok to be positive, but reality can knock you on your butt. And what works for you may not work for somone else, no matter how strong you believe it will. We all hurt here, and this is a place where we can all come and just say things that we can't often say to our families. We don't judge each other, we accept where the other person is. We all have lives here too. There are many, many posts that are filled with joys, events, and updates. Some ladies leave the board for while, some stay no matter what. But if this board makes you feel like gloom and doom, well then maybe you have no need to come here anymore. Maybe you are ready to go it alone without any further support from us. I am sorry that you feel so misunderstood here. The ladies here are the most welcoming group I have ever come across. I hope that you can or will continue to be here, but only if you really and truly want to be, or need to be. I think what hit a nerve with so many is that it sounded like you were 'over and done' with things, and wanted all of us to be the same. Well, none of us will ever be that way. And deep down I don't think you are the same either. I wish you well Marley, may God bless you in what you need the most....Cindy

wonderingalice

Nerve
I have just returned from visiting my mother, who has had a recurrence of UPSC and is fighting with all of her might, but visibly suffering more than I have ever seen. The second round of chemo is taking an enormous toll after just the first treatment.

Marleyboo, I appreciate your positive outlook and agree that it helps immensely in the battle against this disease; however, it isn't all.

It is easy to feel hopeful when you feel well enough to ride your horse and go out to dinner. My mother's and my horse stand unridden in their corrals and the only place my mom can go out to eat is the hospital. This is not because she is not thinking positive. It is because she has a cruel disease.

I think it is important to have compassion for everyone's experience and realize that not everyone is as lucky as you. When doing the simplest of life's functions drains all your energy...hope is dimmer and more distant.

I felt happy and hopeful today, the first daffodils are blooming and the grass is greening...then I felt a pang of sorrow knowing that my darling mother, who is not a complainer, who has followed doctor's orders to a "T" and lived a healthy life, has not had a comfortable day in months.

I'm sorry if this offends anyone.

~ Al.

Susan523

froggy1 said:

Confused
I am confused. I do not see the hopelessness you refer to and feel the ladies on this board are the best of the best in what they(we) are dealing with. Have you read about all the cruises taken and planned? I really take offense to your post and do not think you are contributing anything positive.
This board has been a place where we can share our deepest feelings and not feel rejected. There is only love and acceptance here, until now. I do not understand your anger. This journey is not always a bed of roses.
Hmm. This is April Fool's day. Maybe this is a joke???

April Fools??
I agree, Froggy...

I thought this was an April Fool's joke at first.

I feel bad for you, Marley. You are obviously full of a lot of anger and resentment.

I find nothing but support and answers here; and yes, there are discouraged people at times, but that's why we are here. To HELP EACH OTHER. And yes; I am crying for Bonnie right now. I have compassion; and you cannot deny reality.

Maybe it would be best if you don't post here again. I'm sorry you don't feel the same way we do. But if you ever do need us, we'll still be here.

Good luck to you.
~Susan xoxo

Susan523

unknown said:

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

well said
Well said, Nancy.

xoxo

Mwee

Dear Marley,
I'm pleased for you that you're doing so well and I hope you can continue to live your life to it's fullest. I'm also an extremely positive person which I think can carry us far when facing adversity. I feel that you have missed the point of this site. The survivors and their caretakers and relatives come to this site to discuss many things with like people who totally understand their struggle. No subject is taboo, but we come here to help and support each other. This is the only place that many of us have to discuss fears, pain, complications, treatment options and how our cancer effects us and our families. I am thankful each and every day for the warm, loving and generous spirited survivors that I can turn to on this board. I hope I can pay it forward to many others when they hear those scary words and turn to this board for help.
Maria

minky1225

Mwee said:

Dear Marley,
I'm pleased for you that you're doing so well and I hope you can continue to live your life to it's fullest. I'm also an extremely positive person which I think can carry us far when facing adversity. I feel that you have missed the point of this site. The survivors and their caretakers and relatives come to this site to discuss many things with like people who totally understand their struggle. No subject is taboo, but we come here to help and support each other. This is the only place that many of us have to discuss fears, pain, complications, treatment options and how our cancer effects us and our families. I am thankful each and every day for the warm, loving and generous spirited survivors that I can turn to on this board. I hope I can pay it forward to many others when they hear those scary words and turn to this board for help.
Maria

Wow....
I just read this now and am wondering how I missed this post before... Marley, I am truly happy for you that your prognosis is excellent at the moment and hope it never changes. I did get the point you were trying to make about how you are going about your everyday life and living it to the fullest....

However, you are posting on a board with a bunch of courageous ladies who have been through more in the past few months than they probably ever have. You are also dealing with someone like me who has a sick Mom and I am riding this emotional rollercoaster every day petrified.
Thank the good Lord for this page. Let's face it that this situation just plain sucks and we are all trying to make the best of it. I am grateful for all posts, not just the happy ones. Mom has and is going through sickness and emotions that all parallel something that I have read on here.. It has given me so much info that I can relay to her. She also knows that I can post questions on here and get real answers, not statistics. Can you imagine if I said to her, "Sorry Mom but I can only post things that are on a positive note."

I think your intentions are good. I just think that we should be here for everyone and every emotion.

minky1225

Mwee said:

Dear Marley,
I'm pleased for you that you're doing so well and I hope you can continue to live your life to it's fullest. I'm also an extremely positive person which I think can carry us far when facing adversity. I feel that you have missed the point of this site. The survivors and their caretakers and relatives come to this site to discuss many things with like people who totally understand their struggle. No subject is taboo, but we come here to help and support each other. This is the only place that many of us have to discuss fears, pain, complications, treatment options and how our cancer effects us and our families. I am thankful each and every day for the warm, loving and generous spirited survivors that I can turn to on this board. I hope I can pay it forward to many others when they hear those scary words and turn to this board for help.
Maria

Wow....
I just read this now and am wondering how I missed this post before... Marley, I am truly happy for you that your prognosis is excellent at the moment and hope it never changes. I did get the point you were trying to make about how you are going about your everyday life and living it to the fullest....

However, you are posting on a board with a bunch of courageous ladies who have been through more in the past few months than they probably ever have. You are also dealing with someone like me who has a sick Mom and I am riding this emotional rollercoaster every day petrified.
Thank the good Lord for this page. Let's face it that this situation just plain sucks and we are all trying to make the best of it. I am grateful for all posts, not just the happy ones. Mom has and is going through sickness and emotions that all parallel something that I have read on here.. It has given me so much info that I can relay to her. She also knows that I can post questions on here and get real answers, not statistics. Can you imagine if I said to her, "Sorry Mom but I can only post things that are on a positive note."

I think your intentions are good. I just think that we should be here for everyone and every emotion.