“The Greatest Gift is PEOPLE” – New Sundance Update

First, I wanted to thank all of the ladies I missed, who had placed a reply towards the end of the 'Road to Ruin' post: FFML, AnneCan, Devastated, Shanna, Holly, Margaret, Kathryn, Lizzy, GrammaD, JoAnne, Michelle, Kimby, Maggie, Gail, and Raquel.

What would I do without you ladies in my life? I don’t think I want to know – thank you for being with me

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Well, since Sheri22 asked, let me update you on what has happened since we last spoke:

I had my scheduled appointment with my onc and talked things over with him. He asked if I had scanned and I told him what had happened and the reasons that I had cancelled it.

I had just done bloodwork and the results were not in, so there was not much to talk about really – “he suggested I get a scan.” No $hit, Sherlock – wonder what his “bill” will be for that sage advice? Coming to a mailbox near you, LOL

He put me in touch with a social worker. Long story short - he explained to me that there was nothing that they could do for me. No financial assistance will be available for me because I exceed the guidelines. He said State and Government run hospitals, simply do not have the funding available to offer any help, especially to those with jobs and insurance.

It seems the middle class is affected the most by this, as we need help sometimes but either individually or jointly, the household makes too much and thus you are disqualified. This was not news to me as some of the research I’ve done has confirmed this. A lot of us are going to get hurt by this.

The social worker put me in touch with a financial counselor and she did help me set up the 2 bills that were marked for collection and lowered the monthly payments down to $50 each, so that was helpful for us.

I notified “Dr.DaVinci’s” office as well – have not heard back from them and do not expect to – they are going to fall under the same State and Government regulations. Still, I wish he had called and at least said, "Break a leg." But, he's a busy guy...

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And now - the good news – it appears that Angels indeed walk among us:)

And you never know where they are going to come from in your life.

There is this wonderful lady, from our Semi;Colon Family, who had read the post, and apparently other posts I’ve written in the past, and she knew more about me than I could ever realize. She wanted to help very badly and her sincerity was so genuine and honest.

She saw this juncture as a “turning point” in the battle, and did not want me to get down the road, and look back wondering if something could have been done at this time that would have made a difference.

She’s experienced tremendous tragedy herself, and from her experience, she decided to make this all happen for me and take the stress out of things. She just wanted me to get it done and not have to worry about the bureaucracy of the hospital and insurance. She’s an incredible woman - a woman of swift action and deep conviction, with a heart as BIG as Texas, that much is for sure!

Pat (Jaylo969) mentioned that a miracle was needed – and now that’s going to happen!

I had initially declined her generous offer, but we talked for a couple of days and I agonized and even prayed for the “right thing to do.”

She so much wanted to help, and it’s hard for me to hurt people’s feelings. Plus, I know sometimes when people really want to help, they really want to do something good for someone and do something positive with their life as well – and by “Paying it Forward”, she became the embodiment of what we all aspire to be.

I’m honored, touched, humbled, and guilty, all at the same time. I’ve never been one to think that I am worthy of such a good deed such as this. I enjoy being on the giving side and enjoy helping others and brightening up their lives – but “accepting” help, gifts, or monetary gain, I’ve not done too well at in my life. I carry plenty of shame and guilt with what has transpired over the past few days.

I’ve learned over the past 6-years to sometimes be gracious enough to accept when someone is giving from their heart and with both hands. I know when I give to someone, I don’t let much stand in my way – I want so much to “reach out and touch” that person’s heart, that is what matters to me more than anything during that time. So, I tried to put myself in her shoes and look at it from her perspective. She now lives in my heart and no matter what, how will I ever live up to be what she has shown to me. She asked for nothing in return but to live a long and happy life. How I hope that I can be somone like her - she has showed me the true meaning of Life. Her Kindness & Consideration will forever live on in my heart.

Words fail me at a time like this. What she has shown me goes far beyond what Money can buy - money is a tool and we all need it to survive - but what she has really shown me is how someone you have not met physically, can still play such a vital role in your life.

When you post, it's sort of what Forrest Gump's mama said, "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never whatcha gonna' get." How true are those words!

It has been said that this Life is a “school of learning” the lessons in Life that we need to learn, while we occupy this space in time, before we move on to the next phase of our being.

And, with that in mind, I’ve learned yet another valuable Life Lesson about HUMANITY.

What has helped me through this “CrossRoad” in my Life is experiencing the BEAUTY of people’s souls – the depth of their feeling and their humanity - the witnessing the generosity of people whom you have not met – and knowing how much you care about me.

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating, especially now, more than ever….having folks like you in my life has been such a blessing. I can sum it up this way:

“YOU are ALL - a well that never runs dry - when you need comfort, you dip from the waters – and are renewed again.”

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I’m waiting for the Onc and Surgeon to decide which test I should get…CT or a PET/CT…I hope to hear back from them shortly. My bloodwork came back and my CEA has risen slightly. It’s still well within the normal range. Funny isn’t it how any rise, gets your attention when it’s been stable for awhile?

A reminder to myself, when I’m out there doling out advice to folks, to keep all of your fears and concerns in the forefront of my mind, when I’m out there talking to you. As Kimby so wisely said, “It’s easy to give advice at an arm’s length.”

I must remember the person deep inside that post – because they are the ones that matter and need help. The lesson here is that New or Old to the battle, those fears and concerns reside deeply in each one of us and must not be discounted. Sometimes, that is easy to overlook with all that we've been through and experienced.

Thank you for being you – thank you for being there with me

“Life is For Learning”

-Craig