New here, Dad with stage 4

JustBelieve25
JustBelieve25 Member Posts: 5
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I am new here. My dad was diagnoses in Jan of '10 with stage 4 CC. My family and I are kinda lost and drained with this news. He has been on chemo now since Feb. and is going in for his third on this coming wednesday.

Dr. said "statisticlly" people in his position only see 20 to 24 months. We refuse to be another statistic. He has some lesions on his liver and POSSIBLY a tiny spot on the bone. He feels good and looks good. So praying his scan in a couple of moths shows it's shrinking. Two opinions and both said the same except the second opinion gave him the timeline and said he didn't see anything on the bone.

Any suggestions to make him fell better "mentally" and any amazing stage 4 stories of hope we can share with him.

Thanks All
God Bless
«1

Comments

  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #2
    JustBelieve, I'm so very
    JustBelieve, I'm so very sorry to hear about your dad but agree with your positive outlook! I have a huge list of Bible verses on healings, if you'd like them.
    tavegia@bellsouth.net

    Hey, please check out my thread on Modified Citrus Pectin. Also, Dad should be eating NO red meat and a healthy diet. He should get as much exercise as possible and when he's NED (no evidence of disease) and off chemo, he can add in aspirin and calcium. He MUST insist on a Vitamin D3 level (blood test) and take that daily. Go to Youtube and watch the videos regarding Vit. D and colon cancer.

    Here's a link to the diet being studied again at the University of Michigan.
    Click Here

    Diane
  • JustBelieve25
    JustBelieve25 Member Posts: 5
    #3
    dianetavegia said:

    JustBelieve, I'm so very
    JustBelieve, I'm so very sorry to hear about your dad but agree with your positive outlook! I have a huge list of Bible verses on healings, if you'd like them.
    tavegia@bellsouth.net

    Hey, please check out my thread on Modified Citrus Pectin. Also, Dad should be eating NO red meat and a healthy diet. He should get as much exercise as possible and when he's NED (no evidence of disease) and off chemo, he can add in aspirin and calcium. He MUST insist on a Vitamin D3 level (blood test) and take that daily. Go to Youtube and watch the videos regarding Vit. D and colon cancer.

    Here's a link to the diet being studied again at the University of Michigan.
    Click Here

    Diane

    Thank You soooo much, I
    Thank You soooo much, I checked out the diet and I will check out the video! This is going to be quite a journey!
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #4
    Stage 4
    I was given the same time frame from one of my drs, who reminded me that was the median expectancy - 50% of the people live longer. In any event, statistics are groups of numbers, and don't apply to an individual. I'm now 36 months out, tho mine isn't strictly colon cancer, tho that dr considered it to be. I was treated for stage 4 appendix cancer; also Folfox.

    Don't let the numbers scare you. Let your Dad go through treatment, and don't accept an expiration date. I'm now told I should expect a normal life expectancy; that my oncologist (not the same one) expects me to be at his son's wedding. His son is 2 1/2, so we have a few years to go!

    It's hard. It's scary. However, it's doable. Hang in there.
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #5
    JustBelieve25 said:

    Thank You soooo much, I
    Thank You soooo much, I checked out the diet and I will check out the video! This is going to be quite a journey!

    dearest JustB
    welcome first of all. Sorry about your dad and the first thing I would say is never ever listen to or believe the time line. There are more stage 4 survival stories here than you can "shake a stick at" I am just one of them....colon cancer and then mets to the liver twice....given a death sentence when first diagnosed with 7 spots on the liver...

    Justbelieve that was in 2006 and I am still going strong. What chemo regime is your dad on?? maybe we could help with that too....

    It's a journey for sure but you and your dad and your family are not alone on it.

    Welcome

    mags
  • abmb
    abmb Member Posts: 311
    #6
    I am not a CC patient, I am
    I am not a CC patient, I am a caregiver. Welcome to this site, the people here will help you with prayers, support, and excellent info. My husband is stage 3 and he is doing fine, finished with chemo, I think what helped him, is family support, a strong will to beat this disease, and he stayed positive through out.
    Any time you feel you need to vent or just talk to someone, there is always someone here to listen to what you say and give input.
    Keep praying and keep the faith.
    God Bless.
    Margaret
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #7
    Welcome
    Welcome ,and don't believe any stats that you hear,everyone is different.The important thing is to never,ever give up.Family support is also important.Feel free to come here to vent,or ask any questions,someone will be able to answer them.There are a lot of stage 4 survivers here,some as long as 10 years or more.I did chemo,and radiation at the same time,and the tumor shrank alot.I will pray that all goes well with the scans.The doctors wouldn't give me a time line,that was in march of 08,so I try not to worry about it,I feel fine,and just go from scan to scan.Good luck,and don't lose the faith.
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    #8
    Stage 4 Here... Over 5 Years.
    I'm glad nobody gave me a timeline!

    Statistics are never a good predictor of individual response. There are a lot of long term 5yr+ stage 4 survivors here. Some of us are just too damned stubborn to die!

    I had mets to the liver when diagnosed in Aug 2004. I had a liver resection which took care of them. It was a life-saving procedure for me. Your Dad will need to find a good liver surgeon. Do not let the oncologist make the call on liver surgery. My onc was originally against it, but the surgeon was game. Best that the surgeon make the call. Radio Frequency Ablation may also be a possibility for the liver.

    Has your Dad had surgery to remove the colon tumour yet? Or are they waiting to do that?

    Tell your Dad that there are a lot of stage 4 survivors here.

    TTFN... Rob; in Vancouver
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #9
    Just
    Just wanted to take a minute and jump in and give you a big Welcome. The statistics, forget you ever heard them. If you want to know our stories just click on our names. My hubby was diagnosed 3/9, age 60, Stage IV, mets to liver and lungs, and is doing extremely well. He continues to work full time. Fatigue is his enemy, so what, just go to bed early and get some good rest. Tell Dad he has complete control of the remote control so he can sit and just relax and watch whatever he wants. Our oncologist did warn us about adding any suppliments, changing diet, etc. so before you do anything, please check with your onc. Some supplements do not go well with chemo. Ask away and someone will come on and answer your questions. Take care - Tina
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #10
    geotina said:

    Just
    Just wanted to take a minute and jump in and give you a big Welcome. The statistics, forget you ever heard them. If you want to know our stories just click on our names. My hubby was diagnosed 3/9, age 60, Stage IV, mets to liver and lungs, and is doing extremely well. He continues to work full time. Fatigue is his enemy, so what, just go to bed early and get some good rest. Tell Dad he has complete control of the remote control so he can sit and just relax and watch whatever he wants. Our oncologist did warn us about adding any suppliments, changing diet, etc. so before you do anything, please check with your onc. Some supplements do not go well with chemo. Ask away and someone will come on and answer your questions. Take care - Tina

    IS
    Your onc named Dr. God???? please don't believe those statistics, they are so old...there is so much more out there now with all this advanced technologies, that they even have robots operating on you now..including a doctor, but still, I thought I'd be dead months ago, I lived in the hospital most of last year, but the hospital took great care of me, and I'm still here, I was diagnosed 1/09, there are 11, and 16, and 32 year survivors out there! Read the "Stage 4 Roll Call" thead, and they will all tell you how long they been here..

    Please tell you dad not to lose hope, he can't let the cancer define him, live life like he used too, this is like treating a chronic disease now, like diabetes, if he needs anti-anxiety and anti-depressants, they will help as well, they take the edge off the depression that will come with it, some can handle without it, some can't, I am on Zoloft, and it keeps me from being a blubbering mess, and my thoughts not to "go there in the darkness" if you know what I mean.

    We're here whenever you need to talk :)

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #11
    Statisitcs...
    Not a fan of them, save them for the horse races.
    I am 52, living with Stage IV colon cancer for over 6 years. I had a rather major liver resection (65% or so removed) and mets to my lungs. Five operations, 220+ rounds of chemo, still here and living a good quality live even though the cancer is not gone yet.
    Attitude is EVERYTHING.

    I just find it so disgusting when "doctors" give people an expiration date. We're not gallons of milk. My team would never give me a date and I would never ask. We are all different and I believe if one has a "date" then that's what we plan for.

    Try to make sure your Dad has the best medical team he can get, it makes all of the difference.
    Your Dad (and you) are in my thoughts...
    -phil
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #12
    stage 4
    Dont give up, and I stopped reading statisitcs too, I scared the hell out of myself with them early on. As you said "we refuse to be a statistic", each and every case is different and some one has to set the high mark on the survivor curve right. here is hoping it is your dad that sets the new mark, and bless you in this fight.
  • dirtyshirt
    dirtyshirt Member Posts: 10
    #13
    As a Statistician/Mathematician
    I gotta tell you that Stats are very important tools for understanding, but don't get caught up in them.

    Others have said the same thing, and they are right.

    When I was diagnosed, my numbers were better than those offered your Dad, but do you think that saved me any anxiety? I am a father of four. The youngest was just a few months old when I was diagnosed.

    What good are the numbers, then? Hopefully they caught Dad and the family's attention: yes, this is very serious. Life style changes are called for. Dad will need a lot of support. His caregivers will need a lot of support.

    The numbers are never a guarantee of anything. No one, healthy or ill, knows how much time they have. The key to dealing with Dad's cancer is to take the threat seriously and do what you can. Keep your chin up and keep fighting the fight.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Dad and the family.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #14
    Welcome
    Welcome to the board. As you can see, there are quite a few people here who have been living with cancer a good deal past the time their doctors said they'd be in the ground. So, take heart and BELIEVE that your dad can outlive his doctor's statistics.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • JR
    JR Member Posts: 139 Member
    #15
    Shayenne said:

    IS
    Your onc named Dr. God???? please don't believe those statistics, they are so old...there is so much more out there now with all this advanced technologies, that they even have robots operating on you now..including a doctor, but still, I thought I'd be dead months ago, I lived in the hospital most of last year, but the hospital took great care of me, and I'm still here, I was diagnosed 1/09, there are 11, and 16, and 32 year survivors out there! Read the "Stage 4 Roll Call" thead, and they will all tell you how long they been here..

    Please tell you dad not to lose hope, he can't let the cancer define him, live life like he used too, this is like treating a chronic disease now, like diabetes, if he needs anti-anxiety and anti-depressants, they will help as well, they take the edge off the depression that will come with it, some can handle without it, some can't, I am on Zoloft, and it keeps me from being a blubbering mess, and my thoughts not to "go there in the darkness" if you know what I mean.

    We're here whenever you need to talk :)

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna

    Dr. God ???
    That's a good one Donna. Made me laugh. I think he (or she) have alot of siblings out there. I think my first onc went by Dr.God.

    John
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #16
    JR said:

    Dr. God ???
    That's a good one Donna. Made me laugh. I think he (or she) have alot of siblings out there. I think my first onc went by Dr.God.

    John

    There
    Seem to be alot of them out there JR ;) LOL

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • zenmonk
    zenmonk Member Posts: 198
    #17
    sorry for your bad news
    There are many stage 4 survivors on this site. I am also one of them. Had rectal tumor then mets to the liver. Was inoperable and very discouraged at the time. Got chemo, became operable and now am all clear on last scan. Dont pay any attention to statistics, if you believe them you will be them. I know it seems hard to believe right now but there is hope and alot of it.
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #18
    dirtyshirt said:

    As a Statistician/Mathematician
    I gotta tell you that Stats are very important tools for understanding, but don't get caught up in them.

    Others have said the same thing, and they are right.

    When I was diagnosed, my numbers were better than those offered your Dad, but do you think that saved me any anxiety? I am a father of four. The youngest was just a few months old when I was diagnosed.

    What good are the numbers, then? Hopefully they caught Dad and the family's attention: yes, this is very serious. Life style changes are called for. Dad will need a lot of support. His caregivers will need a lot of support.

    The numbers are never a guarantee of anything. No one, healthy or ill, knows how much time they have. The key to dealing with Dad's cancer is to take the threat seriously and do what you can. Keep your chin up and keep fighting the fight.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Dad and the family.

    Statistics - everything in life is 50/50
    Either it happens or it doesn't.

    I have a very rare cancer (<1:1,000,000) Statistically, what was the likelihood of that happening?

    I've had very rare side effects, the ones that they don't mention because they are "statistically uncommon". I've had rare complications - same thing.

    I'm doing great despite falling on the wrong side of stats for so many things. Stage 4, 3 years post-dx.
  • JustBelieve25
    JustBelieve25 Member Posts: 5
    #19
    zenmonk said:

    sorry for your bad news
    There are many stage 4 survivors on this site. I am also one of them. Had rectal tumor then mets to the liver. Was inoperable and very discouraged at the time. Got chemo, became operable and now am all clear on last scan. Dont pay any attention to statistics, if you believe them you will be them. I know it seems hard to believe right now but there is hope and alot of it.

    THANK YOU
    Thank you guys so much for your comments, concerns and prayers. You all have lifted my dads spirits so much by your posts. He looks forward to reading more survival and hope posts. He's not one for getting on the computer and typing much so I said I would do it for him. He thanks you all for the well wishes and wishes you all the best as well. He has his third chemo this Wednesday and then another scan at the end of April. Will keep you all posted.
  • SueRelays
    SueRelays Member Posts: 485
    #20
    JustBelieve25 said:

    THANK YOU
    Thank you guys so much for your comments, concerns and prayers. You all have lifted my dads spirits so much by your posts. He looks forward to reading more survival and hope posts. He's not one for getting on the computer and typing much so I said I would do it for him. He thanks you all for the well wishes and wishes you all the best as well. He has his third chemo this Wednesday and then another scan at the end of April. Will keep you all posted.

    Not much more I can add!
    Not much more I can add! But THIS is the place to come for encouragement and support, AND most importantly success stories!!! I am a 3xsurvivor currently :)....with stage IV anal cancer. Just had a liver resection to remove what had spread there, and feel almost as good as I did before I had this crap!!!
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #21
    SueRelays said:

    Not much more I can add!
    Not much more I can add! But THIS is the place to come for encouragement and support, AND most importantly success stories!!! I am a 3xsurvivor currently :)....with stage IV anal cancer. Just had a liver resection to remove what had spread there, and feel almost as good as I did before I had this crap!!!

    Hi
    Not much more then I can add either...but I am a stage IV Survivor, colon cancer, mets to the liver, had two surgeries and folfox and I am still here 16 months later. I am presently NED and will continue to live a life of well balanced meals, and exercise. Welcome and tell DAD, to hang in there!

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