Hope

MAJW said:

TRIPLE NEGATIVE.......
pdv...........I was very disturbed to hear your thoughts of suicide........PLEASE believe me there is a life waiting for you after your treatment for triple negative BC......I was dx last April with it....my journey started one year ago this month when I discovered my lump.....less than 3 months after a mammo and ultrasound......I will make a long story short....I had a lumpectomy last May...NO lymph node involvement.....started chemo in June finished the end of August, started radiation in September finished the last of October.....Yes chemo sucks, no one wants it but I promise you it is doable, I PROMISE! I have my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows back, never lost my nails or toenails....now the toenails don't look great, but I keep them polished....THERE IS LIFE AFTER BC........I stayed tired during all this, but it was all manageable...HERE"S A PLUS To triple negative BC according to my surgeon, medical oncologist and radiation oncologist.....yes, it's not a great one to have,none of is is....... BUT BUT BUT..............It is one that RESPONDS VERY VERY WELL to chemo....

I know what you are facing, been there done that, but again, please believe me the sun does shine again........you will get through this to once again enjoy your life.....if I can help in anyway, please feel free to call on me, either here or in a private message
I wish you well
Peace be with you

MAJW
MAJW,

I started my journey the same time as you, last April on my Mother's birthday. My journey is ongoing but I am in a little better place than last year. I do get a little sadder myself as I get closer to that anniversary. I don't know why I am sad when I think I should be happy. But like you said, there is life after BC.

P

aztec45 said:

PDV
PDV,

I hope the Florida sun and the sea air help you get through your treatment. Remember, hair, nails, toe nails, and energy does come back after BC.

P

Dear Pat,
Majw said it all very well about Triple neg bc. I was dx in June 09 with triple neg, had simple mastecomy of right breast, nodes clear (no reconstruction, enough surgery already and I love my fake boob). No cancer cells remaining in breast tissue, had chemo only. Finished treatment 12-11-09. Hair growing back..everywhere, including brows and lashes. Fingernail & tonenails ok, big ridges in fingernails. Polish smooths them out. All together spent 7 months donating my life to the Beast. BUT IT'S OVER NOW AND MY LIFE IS NOW MY OWN AGAIN. Will I conitnue to see my onc? Of course. Will I worry about recurrence? You bet. Will I worry every single day? NO! I am feeling good, hopeful, joyful, grateful and sometimes tearfull. But these are all things I felt before bc. I will just take better care of myself now.

This will delay your trip but only delay it. You have a great retired life planned and you will be able to enjoy it. I have friends who are full time RVers and just love it. She has many illnesses and comes back annually for certain tests etc and other than that has her medical records with her and will see a doctor along the way if she needs to. Her doctors are only a phone call away for consultation.

I hope you are getting something for anxiety to help with your depression, especially if you are having any sucidial thoughts. I took Ativan from the moment I discovered the lump til treatment ended and it really got me thru some tough emotional times and gave me sleep at nite, which is key to our wellness. Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you continue to have suicidal thoughts. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Please discuss these feeling with your doctor, if you haven't already.

Post often with whatever your feelings are. Everyone here wants to help you get thru this. We are all in this together and truly understand your feelings. You can bet everyone who is reading your post is praying for you and wrapping their arms around you in a big cyber hug. I looked at the movie trailer and like you, definitely want to see it.

I am praying you get your fighting spirit back and laugh in the face of the Beast..it hates it when we laugh and each laugh is a kick in it's pants and a step toward our emotional and physcial well being.

Luv & Hugs, Judy :-)

pinkkari09 said:

Oh Dear Pat....I went to the
Oh Dear Pat....I went to the trailer, can't wait to see it myself, thank you for sharing! I just want to share some of my story with you, we have a lot in common with our dx. I was dx on 8-18-09 with triple negative stage IIIc IDC. I have undergone 15 chemo treatments, which were not as bad as I thought they would be. On 2-11-10 I had both ovaries removed, a simple mastectomy on the right, a radical mastectomy on the left (all lymph nodes), and immediate reconstruction with a lattisimus flap (paddle of skin and muscle from my back), which once again was not as bad as I thought it would be. On Tuesday 3-16-10 I'll begin my first round of 30-35 rounds of radiation. I'm 38 years old, I have two beautiful children and a husband I'm in the process of leaving (legal separation, he's cheating on me) after 13 years. All of this has been a major roller coaster ride but because of these woman on here and my support group outside of this site I have been OK, just for today, one day at a time. Sit back, take this ride one day at a time and come here often, your medical team and the support you'll get on here will get you through this, I promise. You will be rv'ing before you know it My Dad and step mom rv, if I didn't have all these appts. I'd jump in that rv with him.
Big Cyber Hugs & Mountains of Love,
Hang in there pink warrior,
~Kari

Kari
You deserve a medal. Going through all of this and the hubby ordeal and to stay so positive. You are a role model for me. Thanks for sharing.

P

aztec45 said:

Kari
You deserve a medal. Going through all of this and the hubby ordeal and to stay so positive. You are a role model for me. Thanks for sharing.

P

Thank you P, I sure try,
Thank you P, I sure try, what choice do we have, fight and get through or lay down and let it kill us, thanks again :)My hubby breaks my heart but it's been a long time coming, just really bad timing Thanks God for all of you and my beautiful children!!
Hugs,
~Kari

pdv said:

Thank You All
Thank you all for your wonderful input and advice, support and your sisterhood. Chen...you poem really touched my heart and Kari...to go through what you have at such a young age and to lose your marriage, my heart bleeds for you...your spirit is an example to us all. I never thought anything could affect me in such a drastic way. I am so tired of this disease and I've just started. It slaps me awake in the morning, puts me to bed at night, walks beside me all during the day, and just when I have a moment that I forget about it, it taps me on the shoulder and says "I'm here". I think I am just getting worn out from all the attention it's giving me.

I know I'm not unique in anyway. Everyone on this site is going through or has gone through the same or similar feelings. God is my rock and He will help me get through the times I am down. Everytime I get this way, He sends someone or something to remind me that He still loves me and cares how I feel. Like the movie trailer or a card someone sends or a call from a loved one. My husband, whom I love with all my heart, is very supportive also. He is my reason for getting up each day.

Again, please accept my most humble thanks to you all. You are also part of my God network of friends and support.

Pat

Pat
Hi Pat,

This may sound strange but if you can when you start to think about bc just try to push it out of your mind. Try thinking of something pleasant. From the beginning I tried to think about it only if I had a decision to make or was discussing it with someone. I didn't want it to take anything more from me than it had to. I also kept in my mind that I was determined that something positive would come out of the experience. It is hard to do but it is doable or at least it can be a goal.

My best to you.

Jacqui

pdv said:

Jacksonville FL
I will be moving to the Jacksonville FL area specifically NAS Jax as I will be living in a motorhome and they will let me park there long term and it's less expensive. Thanks to everyone for answering. If there are any pink sisters out there from the Jax area, let me know. PM me or tell me how to PM you.

Pat

Oh Boy, can I relate!
My husband and I sold our business and "retired" 7-1-09. My BC surgery was 7-7-09. Then came chemo.

Short retirement, huh? We had planned to travel too and I went thru a time when I felt like I had hijacked my husband's life because all he did was take care of me.

But after 42 yrs together, what else would you expect? I would have done the same for him and never thought a thing about it. He was awesome!

Now, I'm finished with treatment, he has his brand new knee and, Lord willing, in May we're heading to Florida for some actual fun! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we just pray it isn't a train!

Good luck, hang in there and enjoy the Sunshine State.