How do you deal with the stress?

gumbyrun said:

I'm tired...
I'm tired about being positive about this and reassuring everyone that I am optimistic and that I am going to beat this and all will be OK. I am definitely a "half-full glass" type of guy, in fact, for Christmas my wife and daughters (13&15) bought me a "life is good shirt" with a water glass and the saying "half full." Its been deemed my official PCa shirt!

I was diagnosed in November and I am scheduled for daVinci surgery on 2/26/10. I was on top of this. Did all the research, looked at all the options, and at 52, it seemed (and still seems to be) the right choice. Becky (my wife who is an RN and the best) and I met with the urologist and radiation oncologist in Pittsburgh last Wed and all went as we planned. No major revelations. Original pathologist in Danville, pa., scored 4 of 10 cores, one 7 (3&4), and three 6. Pathologist in Pit scored all four a 6 so that's a good thing.

I knew I would be off 4-8 weeks (from reading these posts here) and had big plans - was going to burn that vinyl to cd's, old 8mm and vhs tapes to dvd, really spend some quality time with my guitar, long walks in the woods, etc.

An old friend even published an article about "recovery" and how I am evidence that recovery begins in the depths of winter as evidenced by my attitude.

But now that I have a definite plan and a date, I don't have that sense of peace that I thought I would have. In fact, I just want to curl into a ball.

First support group meeting is tomorrow night.
My first worries were impotence and incontinence but now on top of that, I am just tired of being the rock, ya know?
Thanks for letting me vent. These feelings pass quickly...but are occurring a bit more often.
Mike

gumbyrun said:

Prozac for me
My wife, an RN, got me to get a script for Prozac as part of my pre-surgery check from my GP. It has certainly taken the edge off things.
I am in sales and have a lot of customers that have become good friends. Most of them know my situation and have heard my lecture about staying on top of their PSA numbers! I am getting a tremendous amount of support from them and also one particular old friend.

I am getting interested now in the particulars and it helps to have an RN in the same bed! Will I have a private room? Where does the hose to the bag go? Should I bring my guitar to the hospital? Goofy stuff, but it is helping me as it gets closer. 2 weeks from tomorrow.
One of the books I read the guy talked about envisioning each step of the way on surgery day. I get jazzed on the way to the airport when flying so I can imagine I'll be on my toes on surgery day!

gumbyrun said:

I'm tired...
I'm tired about being positive about this and reassuring everyone that I am optimistic and that I am going to beat this and all will be OK. I am definitely a "half-full glass" type of guy, in fact, for Christmas my wife and daughters (13&15) bought me a "life is good shirt" with a water glass and the saying "half full." Its been deemed my official PCa shirt!

I was diagnosed in November and I am scheduled for daVinci surgery on 2/26/10. I was on top of this. Did all the research, looked at all the options, and at 52, it seemed (and still seems to be) the right choice. Becky (my wife who is an RN and the best) and I met with the urologist and radiation oncologist in Pittsburgh last Wed and all went as we planned. No major revelations. Original pathologist in Danville, pa., scored 4 of 10 cores, one 7 (3&4), and three 6. Pathologist in Pit scored all four a 6 so that's a good thing.

I knew I would be off 4-8 weeks (from reading these posts here) and had big plans - was going to burn that vinyl to cd's, old 8mm and vhs tapes to dvd, really spend some quality time with my guitar, long walks in the woods, etc.

An old friend even published an article about "recovery" and how I am evidence that recovery begins in the depths of winter as evidenced by my attitude.

But now that I have a definite plan and a date, I don't have that sense of peace that I thought I would have. In fact, I just want to curl into a ball.

First support group meeting is tomorrow night.
My first worries were impotence and incontinence but now on top of that, I am just tired of being the rock, ya know?
Thanks for letting me vent. These feelings pass quickly...but are occurring a bit more often.
Mike

carmaup said:

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gumbyrun said:

Prozac for me
My wife, an RN, got me to get a script for Prozac as part of my pre-surgery check from my GP. It has certainly taken the edge off things.
I am in sales and have a lot of customers that have become good friends. Most of them know my situation and have heard my lecture about staying on top of their PSA numbers! I am getting a tremendous amount of support from them and also one particular old friend.

I am getting interested now in the particulars and it helps to have an RN in the same bed! Will I have a private room? Where does the hose to the bag go? Should I bring my guitar to the hospital? Goofy stuff, but it is helping me as it gets closer. 2 weeks from tomorrow.
One of the books I read the guy talked about envisioning each step of the way on surgery day. I get jazzed on the way to the airport when flying so I can imagine I'll be on my toes on surgery day!

mrshisname said:

Stress relief, this board, etc
Since my husband's diagnosis last Friday (good grief, almost a week already) we've done nothing but research research research. We have both come to the conclusion that this is a really crappy disease.
My husband doesn't like to deal with the internet much. But several nights I've sat him down with the laptop and he's read thru messages on this board. He's also talked with another man who has gone thru this (friend of a friend's husband) and will probably talk to Randy on this board tonight or soon.
We've gone to church services Sunday and last night, The overwhelming support of our church community and knowing all those people are praying for us goes a long way in helping us.
Still, I have no idea about the thoughts in my hubby's head that he is not sharing with me, or if he is in the depths of despair (I think I would be). I found a local "Man to Man" support group meeting in a couple of weeks so he will have the opportunity to talk with just guys and not this old gal...and he is planning to go.
Wish I could get him on this board active and participating, but that is just not him.
I know I am rambling here...
one more thing I'd advise anyone going for surgery to take with you...blistex or lip balm. I've had several surgeries, and all the meds dry you out so much I end up with chapped lips every time. It was heaven to have the lip balm there to at least soothe that little hurt. Comfort goes a long way after surgery.

I'm praying for all you guys and hoping the best for all of you. I've been very humbled reading all the stories here, and stand encouraged by the support here. Thanks so much.

mrshisname said:

Stress relief, this board, etc
Since my husband's diagnosis last Friday (good grief, almost a week already) we've done nothing but research research research. We have both come to the conclusion that this is a really crappy disease.
My husband doesn't like to deal with the internet much. But several nights I've sat him down with the laptop and he's read thru messages on this board. He's also talked with another man who has gone thru this (friend of a friend's husband) and will probably talk to Randy on this board tonight or soon.
We've gone to church services Sunday and last night, The overwhelming support of our church community and knowing all those people are praying for us goes a long way in helping us.
Still, I have no idea about the thoughts in my hubby's head that he is not sharing with me, or if he is in the depths of despair (I think I would be). I found a local "Man to Man" support group meeting in a couple of weeks so he will have the opportunity to talk with just guys and not this old gal...and he is planning to go.
Wish I could get him on this board active and participating, but that is just not him.
I know I am rambling here...
one more thing I'd advise anyone going for surgery to take with you...blistex or lip balm. I've had several surgeries, and all the meds dry you out so much I end up with chapped lips every time. It was heaven to have the lip balm there to at least soothe that little hurt. Comfort goes a long way after surgery.

I'm praying for all you guys and hoping the best for all of you. I've been very humbled reading all the stories here, and stand encouraged by the support here. Thanks so much.

Trew said:

Mrshisname and hubby
I sometimes think I am one of the grumpiest posters on this discussion board. And as I was reading your post above, well, I just hope I don't discourage you. My gleason was high, I had positive bladder neck margins and the hormone shot and the radiation have sort of beat me down a bit. But there are a lot of upbeat stories around here, too.

A guy I talked with at Loma Linda U had surgery 6 or 7 years ago. Recently he had developed some kind of positive margin problem and was back for 40 proton treatments. He said the doctor who did his surgery was a good "carpenter" and all nerve endings were spared and he had good sex since surgery- just took some time to get use to the dry climax. Shooting blanks as some call it. It took me 7 months to get almost dry so I could move on to radiaiton, but I have talked with some who were dry in 2 months, pretty much.

You have good friends and support around both of you. I hope you do take a look at the proton therapy, but in the end there is another side of this and for most of us it ends ok. Deep breath, let it out slowly......