home sweet home NOT
Well here I am again, back in the hospital for how long not sure. Went in yesterday for my appointment, having a small feeling that I wasn't going to go home. My stomach looks like I'm about to give birth to something huge! Bowel obstrutcion bowel obstruction bowel obstruction!!! That's all I hear and I'm so sick of it. LOL...and this doctor, if he tells me one more time that the prognosis is not good I'm going to punch him in the face. Nah I'm not angry....lol....but grrrrrrr he offsets me that is for sure, I mean why does he feel it nessessary to tell me the prognosis all the time? We all know in our minds where were at in our disease I don't think we need an alarm clock going off every day. Whew ok, got that out of my system.
Just wanted to bring you guys up to date and let you know what's going on with me. For the distention, they found a small pocket of fluid that I think they will drain perhaps tomorrow, in this huge hospital here there seems to be only one small person that does this procedure and she is off sick if you can beleive it. They have to do it under camara so they don't puncture my bowel, good thing they are thinking on their feet.
this seems to be a mild obstruction due to the fact that I am not having any troubles going number 2 and passing gas, I'm not vomitting and my appitite trust me is as good a always, I just can't eat as much because there simply is no room down there. They mentioned various types of chemo that will help in shrinking the tumors, if one doesn't work he says they'll try another, if that's the case why was I on the clinical trial study list? Who knows eh?
If there is a silver lining here is that this is a small obstruction that could possibly work it's way out, which to me if I'm going to the bathroom it doing just that. But right now my mind is focused on my poor little muffin Meghan, this hospitalization business is starting wear on her, and I couldn't get her to stop crying on the phone yesterday when I had to call to tell her that I wasn't coming home, she's been so brave in the past but this time she lost it, she said she is tired of moving from place to place and just wants me home with her. Gosh, what can I say to her? All I could tell her is that I'm here to get better so that I can stay at home. I have a lot of serious thinking to do, I am in a very unpleasant situation whereby her father is living in Hawaii and I'm here in Toronto. It is getting close to the time that I have to start thinking about moving back to Hawaii and live with her father. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to think of this for a long time away, but with these hospital stays and now I'm trying not to think of the unthinkable, but what if? He'll have to come here and take her back to Hawaii without me and then what? I couldn't bear the thought........I'm hoping that I still have plenty of time to act on it and not have to worry for a while. Just random thoughts my Darlings, sorry. Anyway that's where I'm at and I'll stop by again. Love to all of you and thanks for listening.
Linda
Comments
-
SORRY TO HEAR YOU'RE BACK 'THERE' AGAIN
Linda:
So sorry you continue to go through this. I agree that reminding you of the 'prognosis' is not helpful nor welcomed - inappropriate timining for sure. I know this is so difficult on you and your daugther. Sounds like you are not getting a lot of support from anyone else (family?) It's a difficult enough road, let alone to do it solo. But I'm so glad you can come here and vent, and hopefully just knowing that we send lots of hugs and prayers and would do anything we can to help, helps you feel at least a little better.
Let's hope that things will 'pass' soon and you can get back on track. Love to hear from you, and praying that your next message will bring some positive, hopeful words from you.
Till then. . .
Hugs & Prayers!
Monika0 -
struggles
Your struggles are great...there is no denying that. I have no advice to offer. Just a sympathetic ear. As a mother with two young children at home I can only imagine how hard this must be for all involved. I am a planner so I'm sure I would have run worst case scenarios through my head a millon times. Have you had 'the talk' with your daughter and her dad? Is living in Hawaii a viable option? Yes, you do have a lot of thinking to do. Maybe get your daughter involved in the decision making so she feels her voice is being heard. Are there social workers at the hospital how can help you think this through? Maybe a social worker or psychologist through your insurance.
As I said, I am a planner. I've already had discussions with my husband and family members about things I'm concerned about in regard to my young children. I went to see a lawyer to make sure all my insurance stuff is in order. I've made videos and wrote letters for my children. It was important for me to do these things while I had a clear and good frame of mind. I also wanted to leave my young children videos of myself while I still look good and healthy. This was important to me because my greatest fear is they won't remember me and how much I love them because they are so young.
I wish you the best in resolving this bowel obstruction issues. There has to be some sort of support group for your daughter. Be well, Linda.
Nancy0 -
Hi Againnancy591 said:struggles
Your struggles are great...there is no denying that. I have no advice to offer. Just a sympathetic ear. As a mother with two young children at home I can only imagine how hard this must be for all involved. I am a planner so I'm sure I would have run worst case scenarios through my head a millon times. Have you had 'the talk' with your daughter and her dad? Is living in Hawaii a viable option? Yes, you do have a lot of thinking to do. Maybe get your daughter involved in the decision making so she feels her voice is being heard. Are there social workers at the hospital how can help you think this through? Maybe a social worker or psychologist through your insurance.
As I said, I am a planner. I've already had discussions with my husband and family members about things I'm concerned about in regard to my young children. I went to see a lawyer to make sure all my insurance stuff is in order. I've made videos and wrote letters for my children. It was important for me to do these things while I had a clear and good frame of mind. I also wanted to leave my young children videos of myself while I still look good and healthy. This was important to me because my greatest fear is they won't remember me and how much I love them because they are so young.
I wish you the best in resolving this bowel obstruction issues. There has to be some sort of support group for your daughter. Be well, Linda.
Nancy
Well hello Monika and Nancy
Thanks for your listening, yes that helps so much, just to vent and know that there are caring eyes on the other end. Nancy, how old are your childern? I knew you had kids but don't know thier ages. I am so sorry that you too have to deal with this and having childern, I think that's what makes this horrid experience even more so, when our childern are involved. But I keep hoping and praying that we still have so much more time ahead of us.
How are you doing Monika? Better than me I hope.
Currently they have me on these pills that are suppose to help with my extended gut..lol...anything will be a welcome relief. Well the talk eh Nancy? Not really in depth with Meghan, although this child of mine is a very bright and intuitive one, she knows the scoop. As far as my thoughts on Hawaii, the idea has been run by her and no she is not very receptive to the idea as she is so settled here in Toronto now, this poor kid has been pushed from pillar to post and now back to Hawaii, I keep putting it off. But it will have to be done at some point. It's the only thing that makes sense to me, if he were here then it would be so much easier, but of course not, that would just be too easy now wouldn't it? Well I will keep you posted as to my progress and let's hope these pills help and things keep "moving" along..lol.....meanwhile I'm still keeping my chin up and not paying much attention to Doctor Killhope, he is not a prophet nor is he God, I put my 100% trust in God above and let him make those important decisions not a doctor, right? Love to you guys as always and you know my prayers are always with all of you too. I know it's not always all about me, it's all of us together. We are all sisters!
Linda0 -
tyMwee said:(((HUGS)))
I'm so sorry that this bowel obstruction has placed you back in the hospital. How uncomfortable you must be. Keep those random thoughts coming and we'll be right here to listen. (((HUGS))) Maria
Thank you lovely Maria
What a pretty picture! Love it! by that I mean you are very pretty!0 -
Your post brings tears to my
Your post brings tears to my eyes. I have a daughter, (14), who I worry about. The future, with or without me: the only woman in the world who will love her unconditionally. I know you are feeling the same way and my heart breaks for you. I have no words of wisdom but I can offer prayers and good wishes. Take care of yourself and fight hard!
MK0 -
((((Linda and Meghan)))). This sucks.MK_4Dani said:Your post brings tears to my
Your post brings tears to my eyes. I have a daughter, (14), who I worry about. The future, with or without me: the only woman in the world who will love her unconditionally. I know you are feeling the same way and my heart breaks for you. I have no words of wisdom but I can offer prayers and good wishes. Take care of yourself and fight hard!
MK
I have spent most of my time since my recurrence being responsible, planning for unpleasant possibilities, training people to take my place in all kinds of areas; trying to plan and prepare,...when all I REALLY want to be doing is be IRRESPONSIBLE and not think about ANY of this. But with each thing I hand off, each dangling problem that I 'button up', I feel lighter. Still, it is CRAZY difficult to make plans for your loved ones that involve a life that you may (will) not share. I try to think of it all as an ABSTRACT exercise; that makes it easier. I ask myself, "Won't you feel silly and melodramatic when you've given away all of your valuables and trained everyone to replace you,... and then live on and on for years without your stuff or without anything meaningful to do!! OH, LET THAT BE TRUE! So think along those lines as you make plans for your dear Meghan. Make the plans, and then surprise your husband by living on and on. ((((HUGS)))). I'm so sorry you're in the hospital again.0 -
such brilliant women
Are the women here brilliant, or what? I hope you and your bloat-baby pass a restful night, and that your favorite nurses are on duty. Nancy has written legacy letters for her kids, and that is so brave it makes me proud to be within ten comments of her.
I think 'the talk' can't start too soon. The things M wants and needs to know are things she should hear over and over. That she is the love of your life and that she has been the best daughter you could ever dream of. That her father will always be there for her. That she will live long and well and with courage and honor. Do write her a letter, so she will always have something to hold her in her hand that was written by yours.
Lightening up. Oh, Linda P, you nailed that one. Casting off worries has to be good.0 -
Hi Linda,dorion said:ty
Thank you lovely Maria
What a pretty picture! Love it! by that I mean you are very pretty!
Man I really hate
Hi Linda,
Man I really hate you are back at the hospital.
Well we all began realizing that this cancer journey was not going to be an easy one, right?
My heart is soooo heavy for you and I will continue to think of you Linda at my prayers everynight.
Stay tough, and try not to let Mr. Lack of Bedside Manner get to you.
Also, I know fear is creeping in, but right now please stay focused on fighting to get well; for you as well as your beautiful daughter.
XOXOXO's
Sharon0 -
Linda,dorion said:Hi Again
Well hello Monika and Nancy
Thanks for your listening, yes that helps so much, just to vent and know that there are caring eyes on the other end. Nancy, how old are your childern? I knew you had kids but don't know thier ages. I am so sorry that you too have to deal with this and having childern, I think that's what makes this horrid experience even more so, when our childern are involved. But I keep hoping and praying that we still have so much more time ahead of us.
How are you doing Monika? Better than me I hope.
Currently they have me on these pills that are suppose to help with my extended gut..lol...anything will be a welcome relief. Well the talk eh Nancy? Not really in depth with Meghan, although this child of mine is a very bright and intuitive one, she knows the scoop. As far as my thoughts on Hawaii, the idea has been run by her and no she is not very receptive to the idea as she is so settled here in Toronto now, this poor kid has been pushed from pillar to post and now back to Hawaii, I keep putting it off. But it will have to be done at some point. It's the only thing that makes sense to me, if he were here then it would be so much easier, but of course not, that would just be too easy now wouldn't it? Well I will keep you posted as to my progress and let's hope these pills help and things keep "moving" along..lol.....meanwhile I'm still keeping my chin up and not paying much attention to Doctor Killhope, he is not a prophet nor is he God, I put my 100% trust in God above and let him make those important decisions not a doctor, right? Love to you guys as always and you know my prayers are always with all of you too. I know it's not always all about me, it's all of us together. We are all sisters!
Linda
I'm so sorry you are in the hospital again! You are one tough cookie, and it sounds like Meghan is too. May you have wisdom and peace today as you have to make the tough decisions.
Hugs,
Kathleen:)0 -
LindaP,lindaprocopio said:((((Linda and Meghan)))). This sucks.
I have spent most of my time since my recurrence being responsible, planning for unpleasant possibilities, training people to take my place in all kinds of areas; trying to plan and prepare,...when all I REALLY want to be doing is be IRRESPONSIBLE and not think about ANY of this. But with each thing I hand off, each dangling problem that I 'button up', I feel lighter. Still, it is CRAZY difficult to make plans for your loved ones that involve a life that you may (will) not share. I try to think of it all as an ABSTRACT exercise; that makes it easier. I ask myself, "Won't you feel silly and melodramatic when you've given away all of your valuables and trained everyone to replace you,... and then live on and on for years without your stuff or without anything meaningful to do!! OH, LET THAT BE TRUE! So think along those lines as you make plans for your dear Meghan. Make the plans, and then surprise your husband by living on and on. ((((HUGS)))). I'm so sorry you're in the hospital again.
I love your positive, forward thinking, planning strategy. I need to get busy with some of this, and you have inspired me to do so.
Kathleen:)0 -
BonnieRBonnieR said:HUGS
Dearest Linda, Sad to read your latest update.. but glad there is some good news in it for you. Prayers for things to move right along so you can get back to feeling well.
Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie
How are you doing? You were having some troubles recently. Are you the longest survivor on here that has been actively fighting reoccurences the whole time? You do give me hope and I hope you are feeling well.0 -
Sending extra prayers
Well, Dag gum it!! (my grandmother's only curse words) I hate it that you are plugged up again. I will pray that you move along and get home soon as well as make the decisions that are troubling you. You always have us to listen and pray for you, Linda. Also Meghan. Kids understand more than we give them credit for.
(((Hugs and prayers))) Saundra0 -
Whew!!!!saundra said:Sending extra prayers
Well, Dag gum it!! (my grandmother's only curse words) I hate it that you are plugged up again. I will pray that you move along and get home soon as well as make the decisions that are troubling you. You always have us to listen and pray for you, Linda. Also Meghan. Kids understand more than we give them credit for.
(((Hugs and prayers))) Saundra
Man, you guys blow me completely away! With your words of wisdome and food for thought and just being here. I was floored when I saw all the responses to this post! Really all I want to do is open up others and respond to those in need as well. As said before, at times I feel so selfish especially when I read that there are you who have childern as well with the same struggles as me. I take small comfort in the fact that I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this but on the same token I wish that you all didn 't have this disease.
You have all got me totally and completely committed to getting a journal and start writing in it for my Meghan, it's been mentioned before but I never really gave it much thought, but yes this truely is something that needs to be done, even if that journal carries on for years and years...lol....wouldn't that be nice? So I promise you guys and myself, when I get out of here the first thing is to purchase a beautiful journal and brush up on my penmanship.
I tell that little girl of mine every single moment (it seems) of every day how much I love her, she is brilliant! But those words can be forever if written in a journal. That is one thing that scares me, is that she'll start to forget me over the years. But thankfully in this day and age we have the technology to preserve so many things, camcorders, camaras, the works eh?
I think our Bonnie R is the matriarch of this website.....lol........I draw a lot of courage from her and so much hope for us gals.
Her I am babbling away without any updates....well there really isn't anything new, the same wait and see type thing, I am pretty darn sure that they will do some draining tomorrow, there isn't a whole lot of fluid but I'm praying that what little they get will be enough that I'll feel comfortable, I don't care how unsightly it looks or that I get strange looks from people trying to figure out "is she or isn't she?" pregnant...lol....just the discomfort is enough to drive me nuts. I waddle when I walk, needing to stop to catch my breath and never mind sitting down trying to reach for your cup of coffee, what a commotion that causes...lol....puffing and panting and almost rolling off the bed or sofa. Meanwhile my lovelies I will continue to write to you and I promise to continue to LAUGH!!!! I don't think at all about this stupid doctors "prognosis", because I have a peaceful feeling that I'm in God's hands and he has a plan! I trust in that more than any doctor on this planet.
Sorry for the long winded post, I try to keep it short,but you guys might start getting to know me by now, once I'm on a roll, look out, it's hard to get me to stop.
I love you all so very much and that is the honest truth. I pray for each and everyone of you individually all by name. You all mean so much to me and without you I absolutely shudder to think how dreadful it would be without you. I will check in later on. In the meantime keep smiling.
Hey does anyone know how to make a hormone? (spelling)
don't pay her!!
budda bum!! kettle of fish
Linda0 -
Whew!!!!saundra said:Sending extra prayers
Well, Dag gum it!! (my grandmother's only curse words) I hate it that you are plugged up again. I will pray that you move along and get home soon as well as make the decisions that are troubling you. You always have us to listen and pray for you, Linda. Also Meghan. Kids understand more than we give them credit for.
(((Hugs and prayers))) Saundra
Man, you guys blow me completely away! With your words of wisdome and food for thought and just being here. I was floored when I saw all the responses to this post! Really all I want to do is open up others and respond to those in need as well. As said before, at times I feel so selfish especially when I read that there are you who have childern as well with the same struggles as me. I take small comfort in the fact that I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this but on the same token I wish that you all didn 't have this disease.
You have all got me totally and completely committed to getting a journal and start writing in it for my Meghan, it's been mentioned before but I never really gave it much thought, but yes this truely is something that needs to be done, even if that journal carries on for years and years...lol....wouldn't that be nice? So I promise you guys and myself, when I get out of here the first thing is to purchase a beautiful journal and brush up on my penmanship.
I tell that little girl of mine every single moment (it seems) of every day how much I love her, she is brilliant! But those words can be forever if written in a journal. That is one thing that scares me, is that she'll start to forget me over the years. But thankfully in this day and age we have the technology to preserve so many things, camcorders, camaras, the works eh?
I think our Bonnie R is the matriarch of this website.....lol........I draw a lot of courage from her and so much hope for us gals.
Her I am babbling away without any updates....well there really isn't anything new, the same wait and see type thing, I am pretty darn sure that they will do some draining tomorrow, there isn't a whole lot of fluid but I'm praying that what little they get will be enough that I'll feel comfortable, I don't care how unsightly it looks or that I get strange looks from people trying to figure out "is she or isn't she?" pregnant...lol....just the discomfort is enough to drive me nuts. I waddle when I walk, needing to stop to catch my breath and never mind sitting down trying to reach for your cup of coffee, what a commotion that causes...lol....puffing and panting and almost rolling off the bed or sofa. Meanwhile my lovelies I will continue to write to you and I promise to continue to LAUGH!!!! I don't think at all about this stupid doctors "prognosis", because I have a peaceful feeling that I'm in God's hands and he has a plan! I trust in that more than any doctor on this planet.
Sorry for the long winded post, I try to keep it short,but you guys might start getting to know me by now, once I'm on a roll, look out, it's hard to get me to stop.
I love you all so very much and that is the honest truth. I pray for each and everyone of you individually all by name. You all mean so much to me and without you I absolutely shudder to think how dreadful it would be without you. I will check in later on. In the meantime keep smiling.
Hey does anyone know how to make a hormone? (spelling)
don't pay her!!
budda bum!! kettle of fish
Linda0 -
You are Unforgettable!dorion said:Whew!!!!
Man, you guys blow me completely away! With your words of wisdome and food for thought and just being here. I was floored when I saw all the responses to this post! Really all I want to do is open up others and respond to those in need as well. As said before, at times I feel so selfish especially when I read that there are you who have childern as well with the same struggles as me. I take small comfort in the fact that I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this but on the same token I wish that you all didn 't have this disease.
You have all got me totally and completely committed to getting a journal and start writing in it for my Meghan, it's been mentioned before but I never really gave it much thought, but yes this truely is something that needs to be done, even if that journal carries on for years and years...lol....wouldn't that be nice? So I promise you guys and myself, when I get out of here the first thing is to purchase a beautiful journal and brush up on my penmanship.
I tell that little girl of mine every single moment (it seems) of every day how much I love her, she is brilliant! But those words can be forever if written in a journal. That is one thing that scares me, is that she'll start to forget me over the years. But thankfully in this day and age we have the technology to preserve so many things, camcorders, camaras, the works eh?
I think our Bonnie R is the matriarch of this website.....lol........I draw a lot of courage from her and so much hope for us gals.
Her I am babbling away without any updates....well there really isn't anything new, the same wait and see type thing, I am pretty darn sure that they will do some draining tomorrow, there isn't a whole lot of fluid but I'm praying that what little they get will be enough that I'll feel comfortable, I don't care how unsightly it looks or that I get strange looks from people trying to figure out "is she or isn't she?" pregnant...lol....just the discomfort is enough to drive me nuts. I waddle when I walk, needing to stop to catch my breath and never mind sitting down trying to reach for your cup of coffee, what a commotion that causes...lol....puffing and panting and almost rolling off the bed or sofa. Meanwhile my lovelies I will continue to write to you and I promise to continue to LAUGH!!!! I don't think at all about this stupid doctors "prognosis", because I have a peaceful feeling that I'm in God's hands and he has a plan! I trust in that more than any doctor on this planet.
Sorry for the long winded post, I try to keep it short,but you guys might start getting to know me by now, once I'm on a roll, look out, it's hard to get me to stop.
I love you all so very much and that is the honest truth. I pray for each and everyone of you individually all by name. You all mean so much to me and without you I absolutely shudder to think how dreadful it would be without you. I will check in later on. In the meantime keep smiling.
Hey does anyone know how to make a hormone? (spelling)
don't pay her!!
budda bum!! kettle of fish
Linda
Linda,
Never fear my dear, Meghan will always know what a strong and amazing woman her mom is--full of life and humor, love and hope! Start keeping that journal, but make sure you have extras, you'll need them over the years!
As someone who just had surgery and lost 10 liters of fluid, I can guarantee that you will feel 100% better! Before the surgery, I was short of breath, coughing all of the time, and not very hungry. (along with the waddling and not having clothes that fit). After the surgery, my b**bs are now bigger than my tummy again, I'm not coughing, I can walk up the stairs and my clothes fit again!
Hugs!
Leesa0 -
Thinking of you - with a smile!dorion said:Whew!!!!
Man, you guys blow me completely away! With your words of wisdome and food for thought and just being here. I was floored when I saw all the responses to this post! Really all I want to do is open up others and respond to those in need as well. As said before, at times I feel so selfish especially when I read that there are you who have childern as well with the same struggles as me. I take small comfort in the fact that I know for a fact that I'm not alone in this but on the same token I wish that you all didn 't have this disease.
You have all got me totally and completely committed to getting a journal and start writing in it for my Meghan, it's been mentioned before but I never really gave it much thought, but yes this truely is something that needs to be done, even if that journal carries on for years and years...lol....wouldn't that be nice? So I promise you guys and myself, when I get out of here the first thing is to purchase a beautiful journal and brush up on my penmanship.
I tell that little girl of mine every single moment (it seems) of every day how much I love her, she is brilliant! But those words can be forever if written in a journal. That is one thing that scares me, is that she'll start to forget me over the years. But thankfully in this day and age we have the technology to preserve so many things, camcorders, camaras, the works eh?
I think our Bonnie R is the matriarch of this website.....lol........I draw a lot of courage from her and so much hope for us gals.
Her I am babbling away without any updates....well there really isn't anything new, the same wait and see type thing, I am pretty darn sure that they will do some draining tomorrow, there isn't a whole lot of fluid but I'm praying that what little they get will be enough that I'll feel comfortable, I don't care how unsightly it looks or that I get strange looks from people trying to figure out "is she or isn't she?" pregnant...lol....just the discomfort is enough to drive me nuts. I waddle when I walk, needing to stop to catch my breath and never mind sitting down trying to reach for your cup of coffee, what a commotion that causes...lol....puffing and panting and almost rolling off the bed or sofa. Meanwhile my lovelies I will continue to write to you and I promise to continue to LAUGH!!!! I don't think at all about this stupid doctors "prognosis", because I have a peaceful feeling that I'm in God's hands and he has a plan! I trust in that more than any doctor on this planet.
Sorry for the long winded post, I try to keep it short,but you guys might start getting to know me by now, once I'm on a roll, look out, it's hard to get me to stop.
I love you all so very much and that is the honest truth. I pray for each and everyone of you individually all by name. You all mean so much to me and without you I absolutely shudder to think how dreadful it would be without you. I will check in later on. In the meantime keep smiling.
Hey does anyone know how to make a hormone? (spelling)
don't pay her!!
budda bum!! kettle of fish
Linda
Hi Linda- First, great joke! I'm new with posting (OVCA 3C 1-28-09) but have followed your journey. Woke up this morning thinking of you. Just want you to know that I'm sending prayers and hugs to you and your 'muffin'. I have a Maegan too. I hate that the hospital staff is getting to know you and I hope they get that fluid off soon - I know (as do many) that pregnant feeling all too well. Keep 'Fighting Like a Girl!' and writing new verses to the songs of the day. I told someone the other day that having this disease is like getting hit with a pie in the face, but only getting hit with the plate and no yummy filling. Together We Will make our yummy filling though and toss pies in the face of.....well, whatever we can hit!! Actually I'm a cake person myself, but I'll make the effort to toss something.. Sending lots of positives your way +++++++ Ellen0 -
Ellen and LeesaNCEllen said:Thinking of you - with a smile!
Hi Linda- First, great joke! I'm new with posting (OVCA 3C 1-28-09) but have followed your journey. Woke up this morning thinking of you. Just want you to know that I'm sending prayers and hugs to you and your 'muffin'. I have a Maegan too. I hate that the hospital staff is getting to know you and I hope they get that fluid off soon - I know (as do many) that pregnant feeling all too well. Keep 'Fighting Like a Girl!' and writing new verses to the songs of the day. I told someone the other day that having this disease is like getting hit with a pie in the face, but only getting hit with the plate and no yummy filling. Together We Will make our yummy filling though and toss pies in the face of.....well, whatever we can hit!! Actually I'm a cake person myself, but I'll make the effort to toss something.. Sending lots of positives your way +++++++ Ellen
Ellen, you are funny, well I'm both, pie and cake I love them all!!!! Thanks for your kindness and well wishes. Yeah today they sent me off for a CT scan, because they have no idea what is causing this distention. Now my legs are like freaken water logs, I swear. This is really starting to get to me at the same time trying not to be scared out of my skin, which I am lately.
I just don't know what the ct scan is going to show, is the cancer getting worse? Is my time almost up? Things like that are absolutely haunting my thoughts. The moraphine shots really help to eleviate my anxiety thank Goodness. But I will let you know as soon as I hear something from my end. Please everyone pray for me and some sort of answers. All I want is the swollen gut and now legs to go away. They are saying that it could be a number of things, yes fluid, it could be my intestines protruding or the cancer. Well I have to run there is someone outside the room here waiting to use the computer, I can hear him coughing. I should tell him to go home and use his own damn computer, he's not a patient. I wanted to ask you Leesa, how everything went with your surgery. What stage were you and all that stuff. Sorry got to run. Love you guys0
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