having a hard time and need prayers
Comments
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this is going to be hard
This will likely be the hardest thing you've ever done and sounds like the biggest loss you've ever faced. Don't listen to people who try to convince you otherwise cause if they do then they haven't been in your shoes. Lost my mom to bc in 1983. It was harder than I ever imagined. People said,"At least you were prepared", cause we knew it was coming, but nothing can prepare you for what it feels like to lose your mom. But you will make it.It was like being in a twilight zone I couldn't get out of. I was way beyond depressed in a deep dark hole. My step-grandmother told me the first 6 months were the worst. I've always been so grateful she told me that, otherwise I would have thought I would feel like that forever. She was right. At 6 months one night I had a long hard hard cry talking with my mom and after that the air began to clear enough to know I'd make it without her. That night my mom told me I would. I was diagnosed in October, surgery November on my birthday and in the middle of chemo now, radiation later. I still listen to my mothers voice, listen for what she would have me do, or say, and because of my close relationship with her and all she taught me, she never fails to deliver. She really is always with me. So don't forget to listen to your moms words, you know them just as well as if she was standing there with her arms around you. Let yourself be in that place for comfort when you need to if you can. And as I said to myself when I was diagnosed, listenin to the words of Nici Nash, "Guess I better put my big girl pants on". It helped me get through that day and a few more since. My prayers are with you.0 -
Shortscake, I am so sorry
I know no words can take away your pain as you go through this. I know my mom is my rock and I can't imagine doing this without her. That being said, know that you have a lot of "moms" right here on this board that all would do whatever we could to ease your pain and try to help you through this void. What about talking to your priest or pastor? I know that any suggestion now sounds trite, but you need to keep fighting. I know your mom would be very upset with you if you gave up. She obviously instilled in you a strong fighting spirit. You have already helped so many of us on this board, let us do the same for you. Let us be your sounding board when you need to vent, cry, scream or rejoice. I know today is going to be the most difficult for you, but know we are all here with love, strength, and support. I am sending you a whole boxful of cyberspace hugs filed with a lot of love.
God Bless,
Kathy0
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