having a hard time and need prayers

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shortscake
shortscake Member Posts: 228
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hello and how is everyone doing? well right now i am having a very hard time and need prayers, what i am dealing with right now is that my mother is in a coma and we are going to take her off of life support on friday 19,2010 and i am not takeing this well at all i was dx with stage 3bc in nov09 and she told me she would be here to help me fight this battle and i dont know if i can do it with out her, I talked to my mother 3 to 5times a day just to let her know that i was ok, most weekends i went out to here place and stayed the weekend with her now i dont have her, now i dont know what to do...i am getting up set when people tell me she is still with you but i need her here not in heaven i need here on earth i need to hear her voice to see she see here i am not ready to let her go and i know this sound bad but right now that is how i feel right now my heart is so hurt that all i do is cry, i am sorry to put this on the bord but right now i dont know what to do. i dont know i can go on.
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  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
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    Shortscake -
    I am so so sorry you are going through this. Having the support of a loving Mother was so important to me, and she is 88 years old! I worry about her every day and know that sooner rather than later I will be where you are now. I know there is nothing we can say will make your hurt go away, but please know that I am holding you in my heart and praying for both you and your Mother. God Bless you!
    Love - Pat
  • bjmom1
    bjmom1 Member Posts: 152
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    prayer
    I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Keep talking to your mother up until last minute she hear you. Pray with her and tell her she will always be with you. Because truthfully she will be with you in your heart. And that a connection no one can take from you. I will keep you in my prayers.
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
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    padee6339 said:

    Shortscake -
    I am so so sorry you are going through this. Having the support of a loving Mother was so important to me, and she is 88 years old! I worry about her every day and know that sooner rather than later I will be where you are now. I know there is nothing we can say will make your hurt go away, but please know that I am holding you in my heart and praying for both you and your Mother. God Bless you!
    Love - Pat

    Oh Shortscake,
    I am so sorry. There are no words of comfort. There is never a good time to lose your Mom, but there are worse times and this certainly is.

    Please see your onc to see if there isn't something you can take to help you thru this, it won't take away your grief, but might help you over the next few days.

    Perhaps if you still talk to your Mom everyday anyway, you might get some comfort. Get a sweater of hers and wrap yourself in it, spray her favorite perfume in your room. My Mom has been gone for 27 years and I still occasionally spray her perfume and the memory is so strong that I feel her presence for those moments.

    I will keep you in my prayers and we all will be holding your hand in spirit on Friday.

    Love, Judy
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
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    Oh my dear shortscake I'm
    Oh my dear shortscake I'm sending a bunch of love and hugs your way. I lost my mother when I was 14 years old and I'm now 67. A mother is one of thee most special people in our lives.

    Shortscake this is so difficult, your mother has given you herself, and no matter what, with the strength you have from your mother, you will get thru all of this no matter the outcome.

    Whether your mother is here on earth or in heaven, just remember that you have your mother living in you, because she gave you birth and life and you are her child and her daughter.

    I'm praying really hard for you right now. It would probably be a good idea to talk to your onc and medical team now so that they may also offer help to you.

    Our life is not in our time but in God's time. If God calls your mom to His home, then God will give you the strength you need to get thru the next challenges you face.
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
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    I will pray
    Dear Shortscake,

    Others have offered some good advice; take it! There is nothing I can say to make it better or make it go away. I was dx in August and lost my mom to bc in November. It is difficult; there is no way getting around it, but I want you to know that you can make it. Don't give up. Cry, lament, do what you need to do but don't dig a hole and give up ... that was my temptation. Continue to reach out to others and know that the strength that you are going to need will be there.

    Bless you dear sister,
    dh
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Shortscake, my heart aches
    Shortscake, my heart aches with yours. I lost my mother almost 4 years ago and a day does not go by that I don't think of her. Something I see, or something someone says reminds me of her. Your mom is still here and can hear everything you say to her. Spend your time with her talking to her and letting her know your love for her. In the event she does not recover from her coma, have peace with yourself that you did all you could. Your memories will remain in your heart forever and no one can take them from you. While you still have time perhaps you can create a few more memories to sustain you. You're in my heart and I will be sending positive thoughts your way. Sending you ((((hugs)))) to help you through this. Take care.
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
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    Dear Shortscake
    Words aren't enough to express how sorry I am that you have to go through this now.

    As others have said, please continue to talk to you mom. Even though she won't be able to respond, she WILL hear you. You can tell her all the things you want her to know, including how much you will miss her. I know that it's not enough, but, just like our battle with the beast, we have to play the cards we're dealt. We have no other choice.

    Your faith and the support of those around you, including your sisters on this board will help you get through this unbelievably difficult time. Don't give up. You know your mom would not want that.

    You will have my prayers every day, my dear sister.

    Peace be with you,
    Cindy
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
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    Dear Shortscake
    Words aren't enough to express how sorry I am that you have to go through this now.

    As others have said, please continue to talk to you mom. Even though she won't be able to respond, she WILL hear you. You can tell her all the things you want her to know, including how much you will miss her. I know that it's not enough, but, just like our battle with the beast, we have to play the cards we're dealt. We have no other choice.

    Your faith and the support of those around you, including your sisters on this board will help you get through this unbelievably difficult time. Don't give up. You know your mom would not want that.

    You will have my prayers every day, my dear sister.

    Peace be with you,
    Cindy

    We're here for you
    I am so sorry about your mother. I know you will miss her ... but just know that you will still have your family here. We may not be your mother ... but we are hundreds of caring, loving sisters who give wonderful words of encouragement and terrific long-distance hugs. So any time you are feeling down and lonely ... don't feel guilty about it ... instead turn on your computer and share your feelings. We'll understand and be there for you. We ARE family!

    love,
    teena
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
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    tgf said:

    We're here for you
    I am so sorry about your mother. I know you will miss her ... but just know that you will still have your family here. We may not be your mother ... but we are hundreds of caring, loving sisters who give wonderful words of encouragement and terrific long-distance hugs. So any time you are feeling down and lonely ... don't feel guilty about it ... instead turn on your computer and share your feelings. We'll understand and be there for you. We ARE family!

    love,
    teena

    Shortcake,
    I am so sorry for

    Shortcake,
    I am so sorry for this. Mom's are our touchstone, our rocks, our strength. And I know that even though I can still "talk" with my mom (she died in 2003) I really wanted her here with me when I was diagnosed and more importantly here with my sister when she was diagnosed. I do okay with the talking with her in spirit but my sister just feels she is gone and doesn't feel that type of connection. I liked the suggestions of holding something of hers and spraying perfume. These are good visual reminders of who your mom was. It will never be the same talking with her in spirit but in time it should give you some comfort. I have talked with my dad for the past 46 years. At all the important times in my life I have known he was there with me. I talk with my mom now too. I do this because the alternative is to be like my sister and not have them at all. And that would just too painful. My prayers are with you that you can find comfort in your own fashion and again, I am so sorry.
    Stef
  • Dot53
    Dot53 Member Posts: 239 Member
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    I will keep you and your mom
    I will keep you and your mom in thought and prayers...

    May God bless you and hold you in the palm of his hand...

    Dot
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
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    Dot53 said:

    I will keep you and your mom
    I will keep you and your mom in thought and prayers...

    May God bless you and hold you in the palm of his hand...

    Dot

    Sweet Shortcakes, What a
    Sweet Shortcakes, What a terrible time for you and I'm so sorry that you're having to make a tough choice now to let your mom go. We had to make similar choices when my dear mom was near the end of her battle with bc. She wanted to go and we couldn't be selfish. We finally freed her from all the suffering she was going thru and we felt peace. It may be different for you and your family but she will still be close to you, in your heart, thoughts and memories. You are stronger than you realize, look at all you've been thru. I know its not fair for this to happen at this time. Faith will sustain you. When my mom was passing, I whispered, "See you soon, MOM". You are doing the right thing in sharing your grief. Please know that all of us are here for you and when one member hurts, we all hurt. Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
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    Shortscake
    Don't feel at all sorry for putting anything here! As others have often said, we are so much more than just our BC. We share all of our moments.
    My heart is just aching for you. You have been through so much these past months & now this. Bless your strong loving heart! I'm so sorry that you are faced with having to let your Mother go. I can't say that I know how you feel as I still have my Mother, but it is never easy letting our friends or loved ones move on. YES YOU CAN go on,(with your Girl Power) :-) and whenever you are in doubt or may need to feel at peace-look at your picture on here! Right above you is not only a halo, a dove, or even an angel, all these things symbolize peace,love,strength, & you being watched over.
    We will be right here for you anytime to help you along the way.
    My prayers are with you & your family.
    ♥ Cathy
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
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    Sunrae said:

    Sweet Shortcakes, What a
    Sweet Shortcakes, What a terrible time for you and I'm so sorry that you're having to make a tough choice now to let your mom go. We had to make similar choices when my dear mom was near the end of her battle with bc. She wanted to go and we couldn't be selfish. We finally freed her from all the suffering she was going thru and we felt peace. It may be different for you and your family but she will still be close to you, in your heart, thoughts and memories. You are stronger than you realize, look at all you've been thru. I know its not fair for this to happen at this time. Faith will sustain you. When my mom was passing, I whispered, "See you soon, MOM". You are doing the right thing in sharing your grief. Please know that all of us are here for you and when one member hurts, we all hurt. Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

    Oh Shortscake I'm so sorry
    Oh Shortscake I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else. I lost my Mom in 2003 and I still talk to her every day. She comes to me in my dreams so I know she'll always be with me. (She's not sick anymore in the dreams). I hope you can let your Mom go and find comfort knowing you are not alone. Post as often as you need to.
    Sher
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
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    padee6339 said:

    Shortscake -
    I am so so sorry you are going through this. Having the support of a loving Mother was so important to me, and she is 88 years old! I worry about her every day and know that sooner rather than later I will be where you are now. I know there is nothing we can say will make your hurt go away, but please know that I am holding you in my heart and praying for both you and your Mother. God Bless you!
    Love - Pat

    I am so sorry Shortcake!
    I am so sorry Shortcake! Prayers and big hugs to you!

    Megan
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
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    Dot53 said:

    I will keep you and your mom
    I will keep you and your mom in thought and prayers...

    May God bless you and hold you in the palm of his hand...

    Dot

    So sorry
    Putting you and your Mother in my prayers!
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
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    Cat64 said:

    Shortscake
    Don't feel at all sorry for putting anything here! As others have often said, we are so much more than just our BC. We share all of our moments.
    My heart is just aching for you. You have been through so much these past months & now this. Bless your strong loving heart! I'm so sorry that you are faced with having to let your Mother go. I can't say that I know how you feel as I still have my Mother, but it is never easy letting our friends or loved ones move on. YES YOU CAN go on,(with your Girl Power) :-) and whenever you are in doubt or may need to feel at peace-look at your picture on here! Right above you is not only a halo, a dove, or even an angel, all these things symbolize peace,love,strength, & you being watched over.
    We will be right here for you anytime to help you along the way.
    My prayers are with you & your family.
    ♥ Cathy

    Sending you prayers! I am
    Sending you prayers! I am very sorry!

    Sue
  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
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    sorry shortscake
    Hello Shortscake. I am so sorry for your news. I lost my mother in June 09 and even though it's been 8 mos. I am still devastated, angry, and yes bitter. She passed away from Stage IV uterine cancer. At the time we were dealing with her cancer, my husband lost his job and my company cut us back to 4 day wks. When it rains, it pours. I pop in to the BC boards once in awhile bcause I have a dear friend who just recently finished treatment for BC. I won't lie to you, it's rough and I'd heard several people say it takes at least 2 yrs after you lose someone close before you come to terms and find peace. I know people meant well but I would get upset too when people said things like oh well she was almost 80, I guess when your number is up, your number is up etc etc. I did a lot of tongue biting back then. I can only offer you my experience. Be there for your siblings and family and let them be there for you. Don't deny or hide your emotions , they are yours and you own them. You are entitled to them. Grief counseling might help. I haven't gone yet but I get alot of comfort coming to these boards. The boards on grief and bereavement where I can vent and receive cyber hugs and comfort from people who understand. You are not alone.
    I amazed at the strong, courageous, generous and selfless women on these boards. BC, ovarian and uterine. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
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    Sweetie, please don't
    Sweetie, please don't apologize for posting this...this is what we are all about. We are a real family in here, just from a different branch~ the as yet un-met but ever so close part of the family!

    I won't even try to come up with platitudes which won't really make you feel better at this point. I truly cannot imagine the agony you are going through, and it would be out of line to pretend that I do. I also lost my mom, but not in the same way you are experiencing, and not while I was going through treatment.

    Just know that the entire family of Kindred Spirits is with you; and we wish we could do more. Please feel our presence and be somewhat comforted by the strength we give you.

    ^j^ ^j^ angels and hugs to you,
    Chen♥
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
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    Moms never leave us
    I'm crying with you as I recall that dreadful day that we needed to take my mom off of life support 5 years ago. I miss her terribly but I do feel her presence. God has a plan for each & every one of us and though we feel we'd like to keep our moms around forever, it isn't in the cards. I'm sure you can imagine the way you love your mom and wouldn't want her to crumble, she doesn't want the same for you. She told you she would be there to help you fight the battle, and she will be. Don't let her down! We cry tears because we will miss them, but we know that is not what they want us to do. They want us to be strong, successful and happy for the rest of our lives. When my mom was taken off of life support, I prayed that her soul would enter mine. The minute she died, I felt shivers throughout my whole body and something make me smile... NO LIE! Of course, I cried at her funeral, but I was no where near as bad as I thought I'd be. I never thought I could live without my mom... she was my best friend and I was very close to her. I believe she helped me through it and continues to help me through many obstacles in my life. You CAN go on, shortscake... let your mom continue to help you!

    Big hugs & prayers, Mar
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
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    chenheart said:

    Sweetie, please don't
    Sweetie, please don't apologize for posting this...this is what we are all about. We are a real family in here, just from a different branch~ the as yet un-met but ever so close part of the family!

    I won't even try to come up with platitudes which won't really make you feel better at this point. I truly cannot imagine the agony you are going through, and it would be out of line to pretend that I do. I also lost my mom, but not in the same way you are experiencing, and not while I was going through treatment.

    Just know that the entire family of Kindred Spirits is with you; and we wish we could do more. Please feel our presence and be somewhat comforted by the strength we give you.

    ^j^ ^j^ angels and hugs to you,
    Chen♥

    Shortcake
    I am very sorry for your Mom, your dear friend and supporter. She still will be by your side fighting cancer.
    Thinking of you and sending a big hug,
    New Flower