I'm Baackkk...

Hi all,

I want to thank all of you for your warm thoughts, prayers and cards over the last several months. You have blessed me in ways you will never know. It seems on my lowest days I'd receive a card, a phone call or an email from someone on this board. It is a wonderful thing.

I'm not sure what information you got regarding my "Most Excellent Adventure" so I'll give you the readers digest version. The last week of August I received my 3rd dose of Mitomycin C along with my normal vitamin drip, Avastin and 48 hr infusion of 5FU. I then finished my last 3 radiation treatments to the celiac lymph nodes. That was about the time it hit. It kicked my a$$! I was sick and started living in bed 24 hrs a day. When I would get up to get lunch I passed out on the tile floor and couldn't get myself up. Each time this happened I went to the hospital to receive blood, platelets, IV vitamins, etc. The last visit was 5 days and I was released on the condition that I used a mobility scooter whenever I was alone. (How wonderful...I'm only 45 and I'm now elderly!)

After nearly 3 months of this I finally started to get better. It takes a long time to recover after being in bed that long. I still have little energy and tire easily. I need to use the mobility scooter to go anywhere because until I get into the building I can't walk any more. Even though I have no trouble driving to my Cancer Clinic I have to have someone with me because I can't walk to the scan area, or the lab or even into the building from the parking lot. I need to be dropped off at the door and use a wheelchair or my mobility scooter. I am frustrated with where I am now but grateful to be here.

Ironically, if I had to make the decision of Mitomycin again I would still take it. It was my only real choice when I started January '09 and it was a miracle drug "for me". That medication in conjunction with my radiation therapies (liver and celiac LN) are the only reason I get to see 2010.

I'm struggling with this next scan coming up in 2 days. I need it to be good. It has to be. I'm not in any condition to start a tough new treatment regimen. I'll limp through the next few days, pull myself up and move forward with whatever I need to do.

My plan is to be here and help as much as I can. I have missed you all so much but being so sick I think I needed a cancer break. I spent my holidays not talking about cancer at all. I just wanted to be a normal person instead of the cancer chick. It was wonderful but I'm stronger now. Strong enough to help the people I care about. So, you'll be seeing me around more.

Thanks again for all you've done for me.

Kimby