I have to say these things on my mind.......and to Phoebe

I know this CSN family here, this is my 2nd family but of equal importance to me. I have come to be very close to all of you during my year and so stay. I know everyone of you are saddened by another loss, another Semi Colon, Michael. I am sick of this disease, I am sick of what it does to families. I am heart broke of what it does to children, wives, husbands, aunts, uncles, sons and daughters. I am saddened by the emotional roller coasters that all of us have to travel to try and get some sort of normalcy back into our lives and into our families lives. It pains me to no end to have to be one of the ones to tell my children and wife that I have cancer and that I may go to Heaven sooner then normal. It pains me that Phoebe now has to raise a family without her husband to help with the boys. Its not right, theres nothing right about it, nothing at all. Then we grieve so long to try and relieve ourselves of the loss that simply just jerked the rug out from under us, we regain our footing, our emotional self, our wit, and our strength, and we persevere so that someday, somewhere, some mom or dad or child will not have to go through this themselves. We are all warriors, warriors of a beast that is taking some of our friends away. I hate this beast with all my passion. I resent it being allowed to yet take another one of our own, but in this road we are traveling in order to have some type of reason to still want to stay the course and not give up, we have to keep our heads up, fight this beast, and even if we lose some of our friends in this fight we know that they also are someday going to be part of a cure to where someday soon others will not suffer from this monster.
Phoebe.....I miss Michael as you do, I have had several of my friends ask me through PM "Why do I feel so saddened by this"...It is because he is one of us as you and your boys are. When you first posted you became one of us, as anyone does when they post here. They become one of the closest knit families I have ever witnessed. We laugh and enjoy the victories we have in here, but we also feel the pain and anguish as well when one of us passes. Michael will always be remembered here, he is a family member, he is a semi colon, he is an awesome father and husband , he is our friend, we love him as we do you and the boys. We also understand if you leave us for a while so that you can get through this time and start your new normal life again. We all talk about our new normal lives we live, unknowing of what the future holds but glad that we are part of what the future will be, someday a piece of the puzzle to this cure we all hope for. Michael, is another part of that puzzle that it will take to find an answer that will someday rid society of this beast, and prevent the loss of any more loved ones. I take my solace in knowing that I am a part of the hope that a cure will come one day. I know as Michael did that he and I as Im sure everyone on this site feels the same, rather it be me than one of my children...Michael felt the same as any Dad would. We as patients know what it does to families, and we know what emotions go with it. We also know that we can handle it better than our loved ones so we, the Warriors are the ones that go into battle with this beast. We know how to handle pain without feeling it, we know how to carry this burden for our loved ones, because we are strong, we also know that this beast does not and will not win in the end, because to allow it to win is to allow Michaels and others passing to be in vain and that will never be the case because we do not give up, ever, WE DO NOT GIVE UP EVER !!! We will destroy this monster someday, and casualities will be great, but we will win, because we have men and women like Michael, and Theresa (Tisart) and others that are Warriors and go straight into the battle knowing that death may be iminent, but also knowing that through sacrifice victory will be ours someday. We will rid this place of cancer, we will....and Michael will be a part of that victory as well. To you and your family and to my family here at CSN,,Love and Hope for all.........Clift