Post Cancer - Dealing with everything after treatments
Comments
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all of this takes time. you
all of this takes time. you have been through a huge trauma and to expect you to return to normal as if nothing ever happenend is impossible. To see a therapist is a good idea, and then the therapist can guide you as to how to involve your family. My husband is the non worry denial type, and finds it hard to understand how I feel. But I sometimes think if he fell apart then I would too. What you are feeling is normal, and dealing withthe feelings is important. Others will write to you who are more wise than I. but we are here for you.0 -
Your story sounds alot like
Your story sounds alot like mine! My job is very stressful also, and on Friday they put me on probation. They told me they could fire me in the next 90 with no notice. I have been with them for over 10 years, and after all I have been through they show no compassion. On top of that, I am stage 4 and will have no ins coverage!. It is easier to say "i am fine" when people ask how you are, would they understand what you went through. would they even care? You are not alone, and i think it would be a good idea to talk to a counselor.
You have been holding it all in. My husband does not want to talk about it, but he is scared also. What state do you live in?
I was diagnosed in july 2008 and just finished rads in May. And everything you have said is true for me also. Take care and let us know how you are0 -
These things take timecarkris said:all of this takes time. you
all of this takes time. you have been through a huge trauma and to expect you to return to normal as if nothing ever happenend is impossible. To see a therapist is a good idea, and then the therapist can guide you as to how to involve your family. My husband is the non worry denial type, and finds it hard to understand how I feel. But I sometimes think if he fell apart then I would too. What you are feeling is normal, and dealing withthe feelings is important. Others will write to you who are more wise than I. but we are here for you.
I'm not as wise as Carkris, but I can tell good advice when I see it, and she's absolutely right that you can't go on as if your victorious fight against BC never happened. You have definitely NOT acted incorrectly in any way. Getting some kind of professional help is a good idea indeed. And so is coming here often to share your experiences with the group. As Carkris points out, we are all here for everyone who stops by.
As for the feelings of "what next," all I can say is that my beloved Moopy (who is one year out from her diagnosis of Stage 3 "triple negative" BC in November 2008) and I can definitely identify with that. So we are both especially pulling for you. Please stop by often and share - it's good for everyone involved!
Best,
Joe0 -
Post Cancer - Dealing with the next step
Thank you to everyone who responded. I took the time to look at the site, go through the tutoirals, and even participted in a chat discussion this morning. I found two things out: I am normal or as normal as can be after going through cancer and second I am not alone no matter how I feel. I learned that what I am feeling is what I should be feeling right now and that it is not bad. The fact that I blew my cool and lost control is good and I should feel better. It is in the open now and I have opened the door to the first step of healing. I went through cancer, I survived and I have absoutley nothing to be ashamed of in my accomplishment. Cancer is something that happened to me, I am the only one who knows exactly how I feel, I need to accept this, suck up my pride and begin to let people in so that I can live my life as a survivor and enjoy it. We are all worth it! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the support I have received in the last few hours. I feel like a large brick has been lifted, the fog is clearing and knowing I am not alone gives me the courage to accept, deal and move forward. God Bless you all! What a wise group of individuals I have found.0 -
I will pray for you to have
I will pray for you to have some peace. Do not feel bad about anything that may have happened this weekend. You are not having a pity party. You have been through so much and we all handle things differently. Some of us feel broken immediately. Some of us can get through the treatments first, and some of us feel broken at a later time. There is help available through your drs office or through this site. It is a sign of strength and courage to ask for help. I was first dx in 2001, had lump with 36 rads. Bc recurrance in August this year. The first time I was much like you, returned to work, normal life, etc. I wish I would have accepted the help that was available then. This dx has shattered my self confidence in taking care of myself. I feel I somehow failed myself. I am seeing therapist, am on several medications to handle things right now. I dream for the day when we all will have control of our life back. One of my friends was dx this spring. She had lump, chemo and rads. She is triple neg and is very concerned about recurrance. We give each other strength and talk about both our fears. The holidays are very hard also. Take good care of yourself. Marilyn0 -
i wrote this on my blog,
i wrote this on my blog, TLynn. I am copying it for you:
This board has been a life saver for me. At the beginning, starting from diagnosis, I was stalwart and stoic, not wanting to rock anyone's boat. I really thought I was doing great and was self-righteously astounded at my seeming "courage and strength." But I believe that there is a grieving process in all of this that we must all eventually undergo. For some of us, IF we let it build up, it will cause us to "meltdown." That happened to me.
Although I am fine now, I wouldn't wish the abyss on my worst enemy. Here's what finally helped me: drugs (antidepressants, Xanax, and, for a very short time, Abilify; finding the "right" therapist and psychiatrist; acupuncture, meditation and Yoga; becoming a member of CSN; and diet change. I highly recommend the book "Anti-Cancer." I don't think it was any one choice that helped my through, and I have a strong suspicion that the effect as a whole was synergistic.
You are right, the first step IS the hardest. I think the post-treatment emotional backwash has been the most difficult part of cancer for me.
xoxoxox Lynn0 -
Having bc and going thru allAortus said:These things take time
I'm not as wise as Carkris, but I can tell good advice when I see it, and she's absolutely right that you can't go on as if your victorious fight against BC never happened. You have definitely NOT acted incorrectly in any way. Getting some kind of professional help is a good idea indeed. And so is coming here often to share your experiences with the group. As Carkris points out, we are all here for everyone who stops by.
As for the feelings of "what next," all I can say is that my beloved Moopy (who is one year out from her diagnosis of Stage 3 "triple negative" BC in November 2008) and I can definitely identify with that. So we are both especially pulling for you. Please stop by often and share - it's good for everyone involved!
Best,
Joe
Having bc and going thru all that we do takes a huge toll on us. It is hard for someone who hasn't been thru bc to always understand. Some do and some don't. Sometimes we need extra help and that may be to see a counselor, or another doctor, another bc survivor, whatever it is that you feel you need. Don't leave your feelings inside. We are here to help you. Post whenever and we will reply and hopefully help you. Take care!
Debby0 -
TLynnSher43009 said:First thing you have to
First thing you have to remember is emotions are not right or wrong they just are. You have to express them. Getting help is the first step in healing and I applaud you for taking that step.
What is going on in your head and heart is so totally natural. The only thing is, that these experts we deal with on this journey tend to play down the emotional side of things. A friend of mine told me "You have to shout, and SHOUT LOUD for help... it is yours to take and the people around you cannot SEE inside you, it's not like a broken arm.. you have to tell them, then they will be glad to be of help to you"
I was so strong all through my treatments..........even with no support at home. Then after they were all over, I disintegrated so completely that if it hadn't been for the wonderful people here on this site, well, I wouldn't be here today.
I am now on Zoloft (antidepressants) and Tamoxifen (Hormone Blocker).... As I told a very nice man last night: This means I'll always be happy and eventually have a moustache better than yours!.. we laugh, we cry... it's never easy but asking for help is a great move whan you know you need it..
Hugz Girl Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
Tashatasha_111 said:TLynn
What is going on in your head and heart is so totally natural. The only thing is, that these experts we deal with on this journey tend to play down the emotional side of things. A friend of mine told me "You have to shout, and SHOUT LOUD for help... it is yours to take and the people around you cannot SEE inside you, it's not like a broken arm.. you have to tell them, then they will be glad to be of help to you"
I was so strong all through my treatments..........even with no support at home. Then after they were all over, I disintegrated so completely that if it hadn't been for the wonderful people here on this site, well, I wouldn't be here today.
I am now on Zoloft (antidepressants) and Tamoxifen (Hormone Blocker).... As I told a very nice man last night: This means I'll always be happy and eventually have a moustache better than yours!.. we laugh, we cry... it's never easy but asking for help is a great move whan you know you need it..
Hugz Girl Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That was so well put.
Tasha
That was so well put. And the touch of humor is so you but isn't that a wonderful way to deal with this, with a touch of humor. Great advise. You are a very intelligent daft sod. Is that an oxymoron?
Stef0 -
Life After BC
I often thing of this experience as if we were prisoners of war. We were captured, tortured then rescued and set free; but now what?? You can't go back and are afraid of what going forward might lead to. All that you are experiencing, after all you have been through in this last year, is normal and okay. You need to be able to laugh/scream/cry/get angry/grieve in order to move past it. Once we have stepped through the looking glass we can't go back, but I hope you will find someone you trust, who has experience helping people who have been diagnosed and treated for bc, to help you talk about your feelings and learn how to move forward. No one should ever have to feel alone; but this disease in itself can be so isolating and no matter how supportive friends or family try to be, they can never truly understand it. I am praying for you that you find someone to help you through this.
Hugs,
Ladydi10 -
You said it perfect LadyDiladydi1 said:Life After BC
I often thing of this experience as if we were prisoners of war. We were captured, tortured then rescued and set free; but now what?? You can't go back and are afraid of what going forward might lead to. All that you are experiencing, after all you have been through in this last year, is normal and okay. You need to be able to laugh/scream/cry/get angry/grieve in order to move past it. Once we have stepped through the looking glass we can't go back, but I hope you will find someone you trust, who has experience helping people who have been diagnosed and treated for bc, to help you talk about your feelings and learn how to move forward. No one should ever have to feel alone; but this disease in itself can be so isolating and no matter how supportive friends or family try to be, they can never truly understand it. I am praying for you that you find someone to help you through this.
Hugs,
Ladydi1
You said it perfect LadyDi and I never thought of that. Captured, tortured, rescued and then set free.
I pray that you find some help and that you feel better soon. Remember we are here for you.
Sue
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Post cancer is so weird.Ritzy said:You said it perfect LadyDi
You said it perfect LadyDi and I never thought of that. Captured, tortured, rescued and then set free.
I pray that you find some help and that you feel better soon. Remember we are here for you.
Sue
Post cancer is so weird. Everyone expects you to just be back to your old self just because you finished your treatment and it just doesn't happen that way. Bc support groups are great! My cancer center has one and I find a lot of help thru them.0 -
Do not hold your emotionssurvivorbc09 said:Post cancer is so weird.
Post cancer is so weird. Everyone expects you to just be back to your old self just because you finished your treatment and it just doesn't happen that way. Bc support groups are great! My cancer center has one and I find a lot of help thru them.
Welcome to the site.
Please do not hold your emotions.
I did participate in clinical studies for young women and the order to prevent recurrence survivors need and should to express their emotions.Please everyone express your emotions when you feel it and the method you like. It is bad for your health restrict yourself.
You should not go back to what you did before your illness. I believe I was born again on the date my tumors were removed and new life suppose to be less stressful, more positive, and more enjoyable. It is easy say than follow, but we need to teach our families and ourself to accept reality and low expectations. Unfortunately we cannot change past, but we can change future.0 -
I think it called PTSD( postNew Flower said:Do not hold your emotions
Welcome to the site.
Please do not hold your emotions.
I did participate in clinical studies for young women and the order to prevent recurrence survivors need and should to express their emotions.Please everyone express your emotions when you feel it and the method you like. It is bad for your health restrict yourself.
You should not go back to what you did before your illness. I believe I was born again on the date my tumors were removed and new life suppose to be less stressful, more positive, and more enjoyable. It is easy say than follow, but we need to teach our families and ourself to accept reality and low expectations. Unfortunately we cannot change past, but we can change future.
I think it called PTSD( post tramatic stress disorder )Your hear this a lot with our military. When they come back from a war zone. We have been in a war zone. The was trama and then like what was already mentioned we were set free to deal with the rest alone. We have to be positive, because if were not, and we all will have our moments, we will not ever recover.0
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