I AM SCARED :-( HELP

Alexis F
Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I go in next Thursday for my first mammogram and ultrasound since I had bc and I have to admit that I am really scared. I am scared mainly that it will show up something. And, I am also scared that it is going to hurt too much. So, I can use some prayers from all of you please that my mammo and ultrasound will be clean. Is this the normal routine? A mammo and an ultrasound at once for the first time? I have been doing so great, living a happy life with hubby and family, and, then these got scheduled and WHAM, I got so anxious and scared again. I guess I could cancel if I feel I can't do it yet. Or, stop the tests if they hurt. I hate this!!!!!!!

Lex♥
«13

Comments

  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #2
    Lex.........
    I'm guessing that you had lumpectomy. I had mastectomy, so going for my first mammogram after treatment wasn't quite as frightening, as it was on my remaining breast. Although, that breast had also been biopsied in the past.

    I just want you to know that I am sending good vibes and wishes for a long and HEALTHY future!

    Hugs,

    CR
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #3
    We are ALL scared by the
    We are ALL scared by the mammos and untrasounds~ I recently also had an MRI to rule things out, and I was petrified! When we have been un-touched by the Beast, we applaud those who, by mammos and ultrasound, have had their lives saved by early detection. After the fact, those same tests don't bring us much comfort, do they?? Instead of early detection, we are scared they will find something and we will be part of the ugly cancer treatment cycle again.

    Someone posted recently about mammograms post surgery and the fear of pain. The responses to that post are pretty reassuring that there isn't much , if any pain involved. Call your Dr and ask if you can take Tylenol, Advil, or Aleve an hour before as you are afraid of the pain. Also, be sure an tell the technician ~ they are generally so accomodating and will take extra precautions to do the mammo with as little discomfort as possible.

    Keep us in the loop sweetie~ you know you aren't doing this on your own. We are with you every step of the way!Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • crselby
    crselby Member Posts: 441 Member
    #4
    sequence
    I have read that the first mammogram, post surgery & treatment, is the hardest to face emotionally. But I'm not there yet; my first... anything... will be an MRI of both (had lumpectomey and rads in rt breast) in January. I'm excited because I know they got it all and this will prove that all is well. However, I know the MRIs often show areas of concern that are MOST often nothing. Unfortunately, the only way to prove they're nothing would be to do a biopsy and I sure as heck do not want to ever do an MRI biopsy again. So, I'm not looking forward to that part of it.

    Funny story: I am blessed with a pretty high pain theshold. So I wasn't too worried about the 3 angle mammograms the rad onc ordered when I was 11 days post-surgery. The rad tech tried to be very gentle. I was surprised at how 'uncomfortable' it was. Found out later the huge cavity was filled with fluid and the hematomas from the MRI biopsies were also huge. All that internal pressure, then applying external pressure. Poor little boobie. :( ...

    Well, on the third and final angle, she got me all squeezed up, tried to take the shot, but the machine malfunctioned and she needed to reboot the 'camera'. But while rebooting, the machine still had my breast squeezed. It took a full 60 seconds to reboot. I know, I was counting! Finally she got the shot and could release me. She apologised up and down and again and again. I couldn't blame her. But OMG what did I do to deserve that kind of karma!

    Regarding the mammogram and ultrasound, being done at the same time. You know that each one 'sees' different things in your breast, right? So it's good to have one of each. But my schedule is to have the MRI in January, then the mammogram in June, then another MRI in January, etc. So, with this pattern, I'll have my boobs looked into every 6 months, just with a different kind of screening device.

    I imagine there could be reasons to have you on a different schedule than mine. Surely, it would depend on the type of cancer we've had and its characteristics. Guess what, maybe you should call the office and ask about it. Would put your mind at ease, eh?
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #5
    crselby said:

    sequence
    I have read that the first mammogram, post surgery & treatment, is the hardest to face emotionally. But I'm not there yet; my first... anything... will be an MRI of both (had lumpectomey and rads in rt breast) in January. I'm excited because I know they got it all and this will prove that all is well. However, I know the MRIs often show areas of concern that are MOST often nothing. Unfortunately, the only way to prove they're nothing would be to do a biopsy and I sure as heck do not want to ever do an MRI biopsy again. So, I'm not looking forward to that part of it.

    Funny story: I am blessed with a pretty high pain theshold. So I wasn't too worried about the 3 angle mammograms the rad onc ordered when I was 11 days post-surgery. The rad tech tried to be very gentle. I was surprised at how 'uncomfortable' it was. Found out later the huge cavity was filled with fluid and the hematomas from the MRI biopsies were also huge. All that internal pressure, then applying external pressure. Poor little boobie. :( ...

    Well, on the third and final angle, she got me all squeezed up, tried to take the shot, but the machine malfunctioned and she needed to reboot the 'camera'. But while rebooting, the machine still had my breast squeezed. It took a full 60 seconds to reboot. I know, I was counting! Finally she got the shot and could release me. She apologised up and down and again and again. I couldn't blame her. But OMG what did I do to deserve that kind of karma!

    Regarding the mammogram and ultrasound, being done at the same time. You know that each one 'sees' different things in your breast, right? So it's good to have one of each. But my schedule is to have the MRI in January, then the mammogram in June, then another MRI in January, etc. So, with this pattern, I'll have my boobs looked into every 6 months, just with a different kind of screening device.

    I imagine there could be reasons to have you on a different schedule than mine. Surely, it would depend on the type of cancer we've had and its characteristics. Guess what, maybe you should call the office and ask about it. Would put your mind at ease, eh?

    I understand Lex
    I am sending you hugs and positive thoughts Alexis. I am sure that everything will be fine. I haven't had my first mammo yet, but, will soon, so, I can understand your fear. But, I will be praying that everything will be fine for you. I don't know if I am going to have an ultrasound at the same time or not. I will ask my oncologist. Try to have a good weekend.

    Debby
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #6
    CR1954 said:

    Lex.........
    I'm guessing that you had lumpectomy. I had mastectomy, so going for my first mammogram after treatment wasn't quite as frightening, as it was on my remaining breast. Although, that breast had also been biopsied in the past.

    I just want you to know that I am sending good vibes and wishes for a long and HEALTHY future!

    Hugs,

    CR

    Yes, I had a lumpectomy CR.
    Yes, I had a lumpectomy CR. It is just so scary to have this first one. It brings back all of those BAD memories that we try to bury sometimes. Thanks for your reply.

    Lex♥
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #7
    chenheart said:

    We are ALL scared by the
    We are ALL scared by the mammos and untrasounds~ I recently also had an MRI to rule things out, and I was petrified! When we have been un-touched by the Beast, we applaud those who, by mammos and ultrasound, have had their lives saved by early detection. After the fact, those same tests don't bring us much comfort, do they?? Instead of early detection, we are scared they will find something and we will be part of the ugly cancer treatment cycle again.

    Someone posted recently about mammograms post surgery and the fear of pain. The responses to that post are pretty reassuring that there isn't much , if any pain involved. Call your Dr and ask if you can take Tylenol, Advil, or Aleve an hour before as you are afraid of the pain. Also, be sure an tell the technician ~ they are generally so accomodating and will take extra precautions to do the mammo with as little discomfort as possible.

    Keep us in the loop sweetie~ you know you aren't doing this on your own. We are with you every step of the way!Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Thanks Claudia for your
    Thanks Claudia for your wisdom! I love reading everything you write. I will try to take something ahead of time, so, I will call my oncologist. Thanks for pointing that out.

    Lex♥
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #8
    crselby said:

    sequence
    I have read that the first mammogram, post surgery & treatment, is the hardest to face emotionally. But I'm not there yet; my first... anything... will be an MRI of both (had lumpectomey and rads in rt breast) in January. I'm excited because I know they got it all and this will prove that all is well. However, I know the MRIs often show areas of concern that are MOST often nothing. Unfortunately, the only way to prove they're nothing would be to do a biopsy and I sure as heck do not want to ever do an MRI biopsy again. So, I'm not looking forward to that part of it.

    Funny story: I am blessed with a pretty high pain theshold. So I wasn't too worried about the 3 angle mammograms the rad onc ordered when I was 11 days post-surgery. The rad tech tried to be very gentle. I was surprised at how 'uncomfortable' it was. Found out later the huge cavity was filled with fluid and the hematomas from the MRI biopsies were also huge. All that internal pressure, then applying external pressure. Poor little boobie. :( ...

    Well, on the third and final angle, she got me all squeezed up, tried to take the shot, but the machine malfunctioned and she needed to reboot the 'camera'. But while rebooting, the machine still had my breast squeezed. It took a full 60 seconds to reboot. I know, I was counting! Finally she got the shot and could release me. She apologised up and down and again and again. I couldn't blame her. But OMG what did I do to deserve that kind of karma!

    Regarding the mammogram and ultrasound, being done at the same time. You know that each one 'sees' different things in your breast, right? So it's good to have one of each. But my schedule is to have the MRI in January, then the mammogram in June, then another MRI in January, etc. So, with this pattern, I'll have my boobs looked into every 6 months, just with a different kind of screening device.

    I imagine there could be reasons to have you on a different schedule than mine. Surely, it would depend on the type of cancer we've had and its characteristics. Guess what, maybe you should call the office and ask about it. Would put your mind at ease, eh?

    Yes, I know that each see
    Yes, I know that each see differently, the mammo and the ultrasound. So, maybe it is good that they are doing both. It just seems like more to scare me with. But, I know it is for my best interest.

    Lex♥
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #9
    DebbyM said:

    I understand Lex
    I am sending you hugs and positive thoughts Alexis. I am sure that everything will be fine. I haven't had my first mammo yet, but, will soon, so, I can understand your fear. But, I will be praying that everything will be fine for you. I don't know if I am going to have an ultrasound at the same time or not. I will ask my oncologist. Try to have a good weekend.

    Debby

    Lex
    The anxiety is the worst
    Lex
    The anxiety is the worst for the first one. It is a flash back to all that has transpired since your dx. And then there is the pain anxiety. Taking Tylenol or something before should help that and the techs do try to be as gentle as they can be. For the other anxiety, my feeling with my 1st one was that I was not going to borrow trouble and worry about something unless they told me there was something to worry about. Mine was just fine so I was glad I hadn't wasted any worry. Prayers all goes beautifully for you as well.
    Stef
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537 Member
    #10
    HI Lex
    I am always afraid something is going to show up when I have tests, cts and everything. Sometimes I wish I could be just plain ignorant and pretend I have never had cancer and just deny everything...ignore the tests and all, but I really am grateful that my doctors are thorough and are trying to make a bad situation better for me.

    So while sometimes we dont want to know the truth, its usually better for us to know the truth and face is head-on, hey?

    Hang in there

    Hugs
    Linda T
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #11
    Alexis F said:

    Yes, I know that each see
    Yes, I know that each see differently, the mammo and the ultrasound. So, maybe it is good that they are doing both. It just seems like more to scare me with. But, I know it is for my best interest.

    Lex♥

    Prayers for you...
    I've got you in my prayers, Lex. Just know we will all be there with you. Hugs
    ♥Pammy
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #12
    Akiss4me said:

    Prayers for you...
    I've got you in my prayers, Lex. Just know we will all be there with you. Hugs
    ♥Pammy

    I will keep you in my
    I will keep you in my prayers too Lex.

    HUGS
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #13
    mlmjt1 said:

    HI Lex
    I am always afraid something is going to show up when I have tests, cts and everything. Sometimes I wish I could be just plain ignorant and pretend I have never had cancer and just deny everything...ignore the tests and all, but I really am grateful that my doctors are thorough and are trying to make a bad situation better for me.

    So while sometimes we dont want to know the truth, its usually better for us to know the truth and face is head-on, hey?

    Hang in there

    Hugs
    Linda T

    I think all of us fear any
    I think all of us fear any test as we never know what the outcome will be. But, think positive thoughts and know that we are all praying for a clean mammo and ultrasound Lex.

    ♠♣ Hugs,Susie ♠♣
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #14
    Alexis F said:

    Yes, I had a lumpectomy CR.
    Yes, I had a lumpectomy CR. It is just so scary to have this first one. It brings back all of those BAD memories that we try to bury sometimes. Thanks for your reply.

    Lex♥

    Sending you prayers
    I am sending you prayers too Lex and lots of hugs! We will all be with you when you have your tests, in the room, surrounding you with positive thoughts!

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #15
    crselby said:

    sequence
    I have read that the first mammogram, post surgery & treatment, is the hardest to face emotionally. But I'm not there yet; my first... anything... will be an MRI of both (had lumpectomey and rads in rt breast) in January. I'm excited because I know they got it all and this will prove that all is well. However, I know the MRIs often show areas of concern that are MOST often nothing. Unfortunately, the only way to prove they're nothing would be to do a biopsy and I sure as heck do not want to ever do an MRI biopsy again. So, I'm not looking forward to that part of it.

    Funny story: I am blessed with a pretty high pain theshold. So I wasn't too worried about the 3 angle mammograms the rad onc ordered when I was 11 days post-surgery. The rad tech tried to be very gentle. I was surprised at how 'uncomfortable' it was. Found out later the huge cavity was filled with fluid and the hematomas from the MRI biopsies were also huge. All that internal pressure, then applying external pressure. Poor little boobie. :( ...

    Well, on the third and final angle, she got me all squeezed up, tried to take the shot, but the machine malfunctioned and she needed to reboot the 'camera'. But while rebooting, the machine still had my breast squeezed. It took a full 60 seconds to reboot. I know, I was counting! Finally she got the shot and could release me. She apologised up and down and again and again. I couldn't blame her. But OMG what did I do to deserve that kind of karma!

    Regarding the mammogram and ultrasound, being done at the same time. You know that each one 'sees' different things in your breast, right? So it's good to have one of each. But my schedule is to have the MRI in January, then the mammogram in June, then another MRI in January, etc. So, with this pattern, I'll have my boobs looked into every 6 months, just with a different kind of screening device.

    I imagine there could be reasons to have you on a different schedule than mine. Surely, it would depend on the type of cancer we've had and its characteristics. Guess what, maybe you should call the office and ask about it. Would put your mind at ease, eh?

    You are so right Stef. The
    You are so right Stef. The anxiety is the worse! I think I need some nerve pills to get me thru this. I am sure they will all be this scary, won't they?
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #16
    mlmjt1 said:

    HI Lex
    I am always afraid something is going to show up when I have tests, cts and everything. Sometimes I wish I could be just plain ignorant and pretend I have never had cancer and just deny everything...ignore the tests and all, but I really am grateful that my doctors are thorough and are trying to make a bad situation better for me.

    So while sometimes we dont want to know the truth, its usually better for us to know the truth and face is head-on, hey?

    Hang in there

    Hugs
    Linda T

    Hi Linda. I wish I could
    Hi Linda. I wish I could just ignore these tests and all future tests so that this fear doesn't become so overwhelming. I was doing great until this got scheduled. Then I just panicked.

    And, the answer to your question Linda is Yes. You are one smart lady!

    Lex♥
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #17
    Hi Lex, The unknown is
    Hi Lex, The unknown is always so scary - especially when we have had a bad experience with mammograms and MRIs. One thing I've learned from counseling is to not fight the anxiety, but welcome it. Then try to "be" just in the present. In the "present" everything is OK. The past is past; the future yet to come. It's surprising how powerful this exercise is. My prayers are with you. xoxoxoox Lynn
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
    #18
    mamogram
    Oh I can only imagine how scary this is.I have not done this first one since my dignoses.I know it will be tuff like you know .I will pray that it goes well and that they don,t find anything.We are here if you need us.Love and Prayers.(Pat).
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #19
    lynn1950 said:

    Hi Lex, The unknown is
    Hi Lex, The unknown is always so scary - especially when we have had a bad experience with mammograms and MRIs. One thing I've learned from counseling is to not fight the anxiety, but welcome it. Then try to "be" just in the present. In the "present" everything is OK. The past is past; the future yet to come. It's surprising how powerful this exercise is. My prayers are with you. xoxoxoox Lynn

    Thanks Lynn. What you said
    Thanks Lynn. What you said is so perfect! The past is the past. Thanks for those words!

    Lex♥
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #20
    Lex, I can only imagine the
    Lex, I can only imagine the stress that goes along with the first tests. I haven't been there yet, either, but know that we'll all be there with you. Everything will turn out to be just fine. Keep up the positive thoughts!!
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #21
    MyTurnNow said:

    Lex, I can only imagine the
    Lex, I can only imagine the stress that goes along with the first tests. I haven't been there yet, either, but know that we'll all be there with you. Everything will turn out to be just fine. Keep up the positive thoughts!!

    I know the techs will know
    I know the techs will know that you are a bc survivor by your records, but, be sure and remind them and I am sure they will be very gentle. I think they always go above and beyond for bc survivors, as they should.

    HUGS

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