Stage 4 w/ cerebral pausy

russell42749
russell42749 Member Posts: 5
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My mother, 64 years old, was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer with mets to both lungs and bones in August of 2009. She also has cerebral pausy. Her right femur was very weak so she had surgery to have a rod inserted. She is confined to her bed; unable to walk at all. She has underwent 3 rounds of chemo; the tumors haven't gotten any larger but they haven't gotten any smaller either. The chemo makes her horribly sick and none of the anti-nausea medicine helps. Also, she has constant diareah She had said she wanted to stop the chemo but changed her mind after I began to cry. I don't want to see my mother give up but at the same time I don't want to see her in agony either. I need some advice.

Comments

  • LC815
    LC815 Member Posts: 155
    #2
    Oh, my Russell. I am
    Oh, my Russell. I am praying for you and your mom. I suggest you talk to her doctors to discuss her quality of life and what the future holds for her. Maybe you could talk to a trusted clergyperson or psychologist to help YOU through this as her caregiver. I know you love her very much and she is lucky to have a child such as you.

    Peace.
    Linda
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #3
    LC815 said:

    Oh, my Russell. I am
    Oh, my Russell. I am praying for you and your mom. I suggest you talk to her doctors to discuss her quality of life and what the future holds for her. Maybe you could talk to a trusted clergyperson or psychologist to help YOU through this as her caregiver. I know you love her very much and she is lucky to have a child such as you.

    Peace.
    Linda

    oh Russell, Thank goodness
    oh Russell, Thank goodness that your mom has a loving son to help her through this. I think Linda is right though. What is the prognosis with the chemo? Is there another treatment she could try, or at least the doctors should try to adjust her chemo meds so that she isn't so miserable. She shouldn't have to feel so sick.
  • russell42749
    russell42749 Member Posts: 5
    #4
    dyaneb123 said:

    oh Russell, Thank goodness
    oh Russell, Thank goodness that your mom has a loving son to help her through this. I think Linda is right though. What is the prognosis with the chemo? Is there another treatment she could try, or at least the doctors should try to adjust her chemo meds so that she isn't so miserable. She shouldn't have to feel so sick.

    New CT scans have showed no
    New CT scans have showed no new growth or spreading but it hasn't shrunk the tumors either. The goal of the chemo was to shrink the tumors. She is in the middle of the third round of chemo at the moment.
  • LC815
    LC815 Member Posts: 155
    #5
    russell42749 said:

    New CT scans have showed no
    New CT scans have showed no new growth or spreading but it hasn't shrunk the tumors either. The goal of the chemo was to shrink the tumors. She is in the middle of the third round of chemo at the moment.

    How many more rounds does
    How many more rounds does she have?
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537 Member
    #6
    Hi Russell
    I am a home health nurse and I would STRONGLY advise you getting a referral to a homecare agency asap. If she is bedbound, having diarrhea, nauseated and not eating she is at huge risk for skin breakdown and other complications. If she is homebound which she is I am sure she would qualify for help under medicare disability or medical assistance, or insurance.

    Please ask her md to refer her or you can call for an evaluation. If I were the nurse doing the eval I would admit her to homecare services in an instant!

    Hang in there
    Hugs
    Linda T
  • pinkkari09
    pinkkari09 Member Posts: 877
    #7
    Russell
    First of all, I want to say bless your heart for being such an awesome son! It's really hard for us to watch our loved ones suffer and I have been where you are with my Mom. Your Mom should not be so horribly sick with the chemo, we have great meds to minimize that. What worries me with the constant diarrhea is that she may get dehydrated. What kind of chemo is she on? How many rounds? If the chemo is not shrinking the tumors and your Mom is in her right frame of mind then she can decide is she wants to stop chemo, it's difficult :( We love 'em so much and this is probably the most difficult thing you will ever have to go through. Most important Russell, Prayer Is Powerful!! Many on here will be praying for you and your Mom to get through this.
    ~Kari
  • russell42749
    russell42749 Member Posts: 5
    #8
    mlmjt1 said:

    Hi Russell
    I am a home health nurse and I would STRONGLY advise you getting a referral to a homecare agency asap. If she is bedbound, having diarrhea, nauseated and not eating she is at huge risk for skin breakdown and other complications. If she is homebound which she is I am sure she would qualify for help under medicare disability or medical assistance, or insurance.

    Please ask her md to refer her or you can call for an evaluation. If I were the nurse doing the eval I would admit her to homecare services in an instant!

    Hang in there
    Hugs
    Linda T

    We have homehealth which
    We have homehealth which comes in three times a week to give her a bath. What else is availble through home care services? I have made a promise to her that there will be no nursing home and that's a promise I will keep!
  • russell42749
    russell42749 Member Posts: 5
    #9
    LC815 said:

    How many more rounds does
    How many more rounds does she have?

    Doctor hasn't prescribed a
    Doctor hasn't prescribed a set number of rounds.
  • russell42749
    russell42749 Member Posts: 5
    #10
    pinkkari09 said:

    Russell
    First of all, I want to say bless your heart for being such an awesome son! It's really hard for us to watch our loved ones suffer and I have been where you are with my Mom. Your Mom should not be so horribly sick with the chemo, we have great meds to minimize that. What worries me with the constant diarrhea is that she may get dehydrated. What kind of chemo is she on? How many rounds? If the chemo is not shrinking the tumors and your Mom is in her right frame of mind then she can decide is she wants to stop chemo, it's difficult :( We love 'em so much and this is probably the most difficult thing you will ever have to go through. Most important Russell, Prayer Is Powerful!! Many on here will be praying for you and your Mom to get through this.
    ~Kari

    She is on Taxol, Zometa.
    She is on Taxol, Zometa. She has undergone two complete rounds and has begun the 3rd. She will have another set of scans after the 4th round is complete to see if the tumors are shrinking, spreading or staying the same. As of after the 2nd round they haven't shrank but they haven't enlarged or spread anywhere else. She has tried many, many medications to control the nausea but they don't help. She had mentioned stopping but decided to keep going because I started crying uncontrollably, I couldn't help it. I don't want to lose my mom but at the same time I don't want to be selfish and be the cause of her chosing to continue when the treatments make her so sick. No set numbers of chemo rounds; he is playing it by ear, so to speak, checking the progress as we go.
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537 Member
    #11
    Hi Russell
    Is there an RN coming in to see her? There are many types of agencies, some only have unskilled people coming in for bathing. Ask your aides if they have rns on staff and if they dont then ask your doctor to refer you to an agency that will send an rn in. An rn can help you manage the diarrhea issues, deal with the skin issues that come along with it, will assess her hydration, may even give her iv fluids in the home.

    At our homecare agency, medicare and medical assistance will pay for an rn to come in to check blood pressures, temps, lungs, bowels, meds, skin condition etc etc etc. Our agency has physical and occupational therapy skilled home health aides and social workers. We also have hospice nurses that take care of regular homecare patients and hospice patients. Usually a person who is on chemo doesnt go to hospice, but our hospice staff does both.

    Check with the aides first and if there is an rn who supervises them, ask to speak with her.

    Hugs to you and your mom
    Linda T

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