pain and alone
I go through days where I feel like there isn't anyone that cares about me. What should I do? Is there someone I could call just for anonymous advice or something? Comments
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please talk to you dr. they
please talk to you dr. they can help. they have seen everything that you can possibly imagine and will not judge you. think about this, they know more than you want anyone to know about you so why not ask your drs. to help? please call them they know how to help. thinking about you, let this site know....call now.0 -
on the contrary...
Please come here and talk to us.
For me, anyway, hearing what others are going through at least helps distract from what I am going through.
And it makes me feel good if I can give a good word or some small bit of advice.
I think a lot of have felt very alone in this struggle, just as you've expressed.
Fatima0 -
not suggesting that anyoneSonSon said:on the contrary...
Please come here and talk to us.
For me, anyway, hearing what others are going through at least helps distract from what I am going through.
And it makes me feel good if I can give a good word or some small bit of advice.
I think a lot of have felt very alone in this struggle, just as you've expressed.
Fatima
not suggesting that anyone give up this site but, we are not capable of dealing with everything that one is confronted with dealing with the big C. we must look to every avenue open to us.0 -
Need help
Perhaps a talk with a psychiatrist or psychologist or social worker or even a sympathetic doctor or nurse. Seeking professional help for feelings beyond your control is a sign of strength as you want to help yourself. Going thru depression is common among us diagnosed with cancer-I was in zombieland for a while, in a total daze,paralyzed,unable to do anything.
Also ask about painkillers, pills/shots/patches.
My brother and sister deserted me upon diagnosis (and other matters) but at least I have my girlfriend-without her I could not live independently nor would I have survived treatment and surgery so far.I hope you do not live alone without any support line.To beat cancer you must be strong and positive because you're gonna go thru hell. Its normal to at times want to give up but then YOU have to overcome that and get back in the battle. Never give up, please( I know this is easier said than done as I am not in your shoes. I wish you the best in any event) Steve0 -
Try local support groups.
"Wounded healers" can really help each other "make it through the rain". I know they did for me, more than once. I also had the chance to "pay it forward" by helping others. Your place of worship, hospital, public library, or community center may have a list of area support groups to meet you needs.
Love and Courage!
Rick0 -
What are Your Terms
You said you wanted to ask for help but wanted it "on my terms." What are your terms? Just curious. Are your terms interfering with you getting the help you need? I hope you find your way. Do what you need to do. This is a scary journey. Try to find some support. Don't be afraid to post even if you are feeling down. Fay0 -
Lori.......grandmafay said:What are Your Terms
You said you wanted to ask for help but wanted it "on my terms." What are your terms? Just curious. Are your terms interfering with you getting the help you need? I hope you find your way. Do what you need to do. This is a scary journey. Try to find some support. Don't be afraid to post even if you are feeling down. Fay
PM me and let me know what you need...we talked before and then you stopped, I would like to help but it seems that its not me that you want help from. Simply tell us what it is you want and we will try and satisfy that need for you. We are all in this together. I already know what the situation with you is , just let me help you if you will. You don't have to do this alone, but you do have to start trusting others ....Clift0 -
BuzzardBuzzard said:Lori.......
PM me and let me know what you need...we talked before and then you stopped, I would like to help but it seems that its not me that you want help from. Simply tell us what it is you want and we will try and satisfy that need for you. We are all in this together. I already know what the situation with you is , just let me help you if you will. You don't have to do this alone, but you do have to start trusting others ....Clift
Is right, Please let us know what we can do for you.
please take care
michelle0 -
You guys are so nice....Buzzard said:Lori.......
PM me and let me know what you need...we talked before and then you stopped, I would like to help but it seems that its not me that you want help from. Simply tell us what it is you want and we will try and satisfy that need for you. We are all in this together. I already know what the situation with you is , just let me help you if you will. You don't have to do this alone, but you do have to start trusting others ....Clift
Clift, thank you for your words. I'm sorry I never replied to your last PM. As of late, the only way I've been getting on this website has been through my blackberry phone. It's super easy to lay around in bed and use my phone-dont even have to sit up
but my blackberry doesn't get to the PM screen very well. I appreciate all the support from everyone. I am just making it through. I don't think there's anything anyone can do, but I really appreciate you all letting me know that there are people that care. I feel very alone here sometimes, so it's good to know that there's at least online support.
I hope everyone else is doing okay.
L0 -
Hi Michelle, thank you...angelsbaby said:Buzzard
Is right, Please let us know what we can do for you.
please take care
michelle
Really, I can't thank you enough. It means so much when people reply. I don't have a lot of people that I communicate with about my illness. I have been suffering from a deep depression, and, dare I say this...I think the depression has been harder to deal with. I've been avoiding certain tests, I've had panic attacks, I've freaked out a little, but my life is literally on the line-I don't have time to have a nervous breakdown; although, I do believe I'm having one. I wish I felt like I were going to survive this. I am not strong enough to handle all of these major decisions. My odds suck.
I hope you are doing ok Michelle. Please keep keeping in touch.
L0 -
MinnieMNMinnieMN said:You guys are so nice....
Clift, thank you for your words. I'm sorry I never replied to your last PM. As of late, the only way I've been getting on this website has been through my blackberry phone. It's super easy to lay around in bed and use my phone-dont even have to sit up but my blackberry doesn't get to the PM screen very well. I appreciate all the support from everyone. I am just making it through. I don't think there's anything anyone can do, but I really appreciate you all letting me know that there are people that care. I feel very alone here sometimes, so it's good to know that there's at least online support.
I hope everyone else is doing okay.
L
There isn't anything anyone can do, unless you allow them to. It is your decision but I don't take no for an answer. I am more than willing to get you to your parents for the necessary care that you need, I am more than willing to buy you a non-stop plane ticket to your parents so that they can get you the help you so desperately need. I don't take no for an answer, if you are adamant that you will go I will have the ticket by Monday. Your choice, but there is the help you need and no its not on your terms but to be honest you don't have many options and your life is more important to more people than you know. You giving up on it simply shows me that I am failing, and I do not take defeat easily. Please, as a near,dear friend, let me do this one thing for you...You have nothing at all to lose...just change your terms, thats all it takes. We all have to step out of our comfort zone at one time or another. Please , just this once, take a walk on the wild side and go see the folks......we love ya, {{{hugs}}}, Clift0 -
I think about going home allBuzzard said:MinnieMN
There isn't anything anyone can do, unless you allow them to. It is your decision but I don't take no for an answer. I am more than willing to get you to your parents for the necessary care that you need, I am more than willing to buy you a non-stop plane ticket to your parents so that they can get you the help you so desperately need. I don't take no for an answer, if you are adamant that you will go I will have the ticket by Monday. Your choice, but there is the help you need and no its not on your terms but to be honest you don't have many options and your life is more important to more people than you know. You giving up on it simply shows me that I am failing, and I do not take defeat easily. Please, as a near,dear friend, let me do this one thing for you...You have nothing at all to lose...just change your terms, thats all it takes. We all have to step out of our comfort zone at one time or another. Please , just this once, take a walk on the wild side and go see the folks......we love ya, {{{hugs}}}, Clift
I think about going home all of the time. I really miss my family. It looks like I'm scheduled to be hospitalized the Monday before Thanksgiving here in my state. If I were to move back home with my parents, I would,t have health insurance. The sad thing is-my parents won't come here-they're way too afraid to fly. My mom still doesn't know.
Having a lot of pain today in my head and back-hurts a lot. Does anyone have some coping techniques for pain? I'm trying very hard not to take a lot of pain pills. I am extremely worn out.
I was writing emails to a friend, but she dropped me-couldn't take it anymore. I need someone that can deal with my stubborness, but will listen to me sometimes when I'm not feeling well. I need someone that won't make me feel like I'm a bother-I don't have that currently at all except a few online friends.
L0 -
Don't worry we are here for youMinnieMN said:I think about going home all
I think about going home all of the time. I really miss my family. It looks like I'm scheduled to be hospitalized the Monday before Thanksgiving here in my state. If I were to move back home with my parents, I would,t have health insurance. The sad thing is-my parents won't come here-they're way too afraid to fly. My mom still doesn't know.
Having a lot of pain today in my head and back-hurts a lot. Does anyone have some coping techniques for pain? I'm trying very hard not to take a lot of pain pills. I am extremely worn out.
I was writing emails to a friend, but she dropped me-couldn't take it anymore. I need someone that can deal with my stubborness, but will listen to me sometimes when I'm not feeling well. I need someone that won't make me feel like I'm a bother-I don't have that currently at all except a few online friends.
L
I am giving you a big hug. why are you going into the hospital? I think you are so brave to try this all alone, My thoughts are with you and you have a restful day,
michelle0 -
stubbornessMinnieMN said:I think about going home all
I think about going home all of the time. I really miss my family. It looks like I'm scheduled to be hospitalized the Monday before Thanksgiving here in my state. If I were to move back home with my parents, I would,t have health insurance. The sad thing is-my parents won't come here-they're way too afraid to fly. My mom still doesn't know.
Having a lot of pain today in my head and back-hurts a lot. Does anyone have some coping techniques for pain? I'm trying very hard not to take a lot of pain pills. I am extremely worn out.
I was writing emails to a friend, but she dropped me-couldn't take it anymore. I need someone that can deal with my stubborness, but will listen to me sometimes when I'm not feeling well. I need someone that won't make me feel like I'm a bother-I don't have that currently at all except a few online friends.
L
L,
There are a lot of people here. most of us are pretty stubborn too. you can always talk here.
Steve0 -
You can call me I am alone also
Dear Minnie, I am alone and with cancer also. I feel often as you do.All my friends have gone away and I guess it's my looks or they think they will get it.I pray you get this today Sat. November 14,09. Your not alone because now I know your out there. We can be buddies if you like. I am female, and in Florida. Family far away and can't help. I look forward to talking with you. We can encourage each other.
Hug enclosed, Kathrynlib0 -
Hi Kathryn, thanks for the hugs!kathrynlib said:You can call me I am alone also
Dear Minnie, I am alone and with cancer also. I feel often as you do.All my friends have gone away and I guess it's my looks or they think they will get it.I pray you get this today Sat. November 14,09. Your not alone because now I know your out there. We can be buddies if you like. I am female, and in Florida. Family far away and can't help. I look forward to talking with you. We can encourage each other.
Hug enclosed, Kathrynlib
It's Saturday November 14th, and I just happened to look at this site. I'm alone in a hotel room, and I can barely walk and get around. I have been so scared lately, and everyday there seems to be something that gets worse, or something new to deal with. I knew things were going to happen this way, but I didn't expect to be as scared as I am. My family is far away too. I'm not home where I live because my roommate was having a get together with friends and family, and I wanted quiet and alone time-plus I've been in so much pain lately. I would welcome the chance to have someine to talk to. I'm female too and in Minnesota-pretty far way from you. What are you suffering from? I have a tumor in my brain and they believe there are growths or lesions or something in my spine, which is causing most of the escalating pain. All of the words start getting jumbled together after a while, don't they? I'm going to go into a very good hospital in a week, hopefully they can at least do something about the pain. I'm sort of scared to tell them how depressed I am, I sort of wish I had a therapist, but I guess what can they do at this point. I'm terminal, and so most of my friends have distanced themselves from me except for my best friends. I miss my family, I just wish I knew what to do at this point.
I hope that everyone is doing well tonight and are as pain free as possible.
L0 -
Therapists can helpMinnieMN said:Hi Kathryn, thanks for the hugs!
It's Saturday November 14th, and I just happened to look at this site. I'm alone in a hotel room, and I can barely walk and get around. I have been so scared lately, and everyday there seems to be something that gets worse, or something new to deal with. I knew things were going to happen this way, but I didn't expect to be as scared as I am. My family is far away too. I'm not home where I live because my roommate was having a get together with friends and family, and I wanted quiet and alone time-plus I've been in so much pain lately. I would welcome the chance to have someine to talk to. I'm female too and in Minnesota-pretty far way from you. What are you suffering from? I have a tumor in my brain and they believe there are growths or lesions or something in my spine, which is causing most of the escalating pain. All of the words start getting jumbled together after a while, don't they? I'm going to go into a very good hospital in a week, hopefully they can at least do something about the pain. I'm sort of scared to tell them how depressed I am, I sort of wish I had a therapist, but I guess what can they do at this point. I'm terminal, and so most of my friends have distanced themselves from me except for my best friends. I miss my family, I just wish I knew what to do at this point.
I hope that everyone is doing well tonight and are as pain free as possible.
L
ask your doctor(s) to refer you to social worker, psychiatrist pr psychologist-they can help IF you let them, or at least provide a professional ear. This web site can be helpful to. I too am stubborn and not used to depending on others but chemo and surgery left me helpless for awhile. I rely on my girlfriend, doctors/nurses/staff and the kindness of strangers here, Let people help you, you can't do this by yourself. Do not give up.....Steve0 -
I will pray for YouMinnieMN said:Hi Kathryn, thanks for the hugs!
It's Saturday November 14th, and I just happened to look at this site. I'm alone in a hotel room, and I can barely walk and get around. I have been so scared lately, and everyday there seems to be something that gets worse, or something new to deal with. I knew things were going to happen this way, but I didn't expect to be as scared as I am. My family is far away too. I'm not home where I live because my roommate was having a get together with friends and family, and I wanted quiet and alone time-plus I've been in so much pain lately. I would welcome the chance to have someine to talk to. I'm female too and in Minnesota-pretty far way from you. What are you suffering from? I have a tumor in my brain and they believe there are growths or lesions or something in my spine, which is causing most of the escalating pain. All of the words start getting jumbled together after a while, don't they? I'm going to go into a very good hospital in a week, hopefully they can at least do something about the pain. I'm sort of scared to tell them how depressed I am, I sort of wish I had a therapist, but I guess what can they do at this point. I'm terminal, and so most of my friends have distanced themselves from me except for my best friends. I miss my family, I just wish I knew what to do at this point.
I hope that everyone is doing well tonight and are as pain free as possible.
L
I will pray for your healing and for every person who comes
in contact with you is uplifting and positive in your time of
need.0 -
pain and alone
So sorry for everyone. I am in pain and am totally alone--no family. Friends all work.
I tried to attend a support meeting, but I couldn't find the people. Now I must work--have used all of my sick leave up and even more--and cannot attend a support meeting. The counselor whom I talked with really had nothing to say beyond yoga breathing tricks and "How does it make you feel?" type of questions, with no ideas or suggestions. I called cancer association help line. Person said, "How does it make you feel?" and nothing more. Just silence. After a few minutes, I said, "Thank you. Good-bye."
One doctor told me that all of her other patients were happy that surgery had saved their lives. All of her other patients have family. I have done everything, gone to every appointment, alone. I am 60 years old.0 -
I'm sorry to hear that, bunnynewbornbunny said:pain and alone
So sorry for everyone. I am in pain and am totally alone--no family. Friends all work.
I tried to attend a support meeting, but I couldn't find the people. Now I must work--have used all of my sick leave up and even more--and cannot attend a support meeting. The counselor whom I talked with really had nothing to say beyond yoga breathing tricks and "How does it make you feel?" type of questions, with no ideas or suggestions. I called cancer association help line. Person said, "How does it make you feel?" and nothing more. Just silence. After a few minutes, I said, "Thank you. Good-bye."
One doctor told me that all of her other patients were happy that surgery had saved their lives. All of her other patients have family. I have done everything, gone to every appointment, alone. I am 60 years old.
I am in so much pain and depression right now I feel like I am going out of my mind. I'll be heading to the hospital this Sunday for an early appointment Monday. :-( I'm scared. I knwo I am a baby, but i am scared. i woudl give anyhrthing for family or somet\one to talk to or someone to actually give ma hug. 0
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