I'm new to forum

laurissa
laurissa Member Posts: 773
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I've found this great forum after searching the web about breast cancer, which I was diagnosed Sept. 18. Still waiting for all tests to come in. I had the pet scan done 2 days ago and will be getting the port put in Monday, oncologist on Wed. So much waiting and worrying, it's unbearable. I cry when I'm alone and keeping a strong face when around others. My worst fear is the chance it has spread all over. It's 3 cm in right breast and also in armpit lymph nodes. I just want it out NOW. They plan to shrink it with chemo first then lumpectomy, but that could change. It's an unbelievable experience, one I thought I never would. So many worries. I'm 49, married with 2 teen daughters. Husband has depression anyway and now this. I've been reading on here for a few days and thought it's time to join.
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Comments

  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
    #2
    welcome
    This is my first post. I have been reading stories since I have had reoccurance of bc in Aug, 2009. Your post touched me and I know you will hear from others. I have read so many of your stories and feel the pain, but also hope.Faith has been a big factor is getting me through this far. I did have bilateral mastectomy with lattisimus flap reconstruction Sept 10 and my outlook as far as beating cancer is good. It is the emotional part I also have problem with, I have received much strength from this site and you will also.
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #3
    Welcome laurissa
    You are right, it is mind blowing, not to mention the physical and emotional challenges we face and deal with.
    However, it is DOABLE.
    I was 38 with a 1 year old son and 12 year old daughter when I was first diagnosed with bc similar to yours. Guess what? I am 61 now and kids are grown and I have 2 grandsons.
    We do what we have to so we can do what we want to, as a dear friend on these boards is fond of reminding us. You will meet her and many more lovely, courageous women here, and sooner than you think you will be holding the flashlight for someone else who is walking the path you have just traveled. We never leave anyone in the dark here. :)
    God bless.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #4
    zahalene said:

    Welcome laurissa
    You are right, it is mind blowing, not to mention the physical and emotional challenges we face and deal with.
    However, it is DOABLE.
    I was 38 with a 1 year old son and 12 year old daughter when I was first diagnosed with bc similar to yours. Guess what? I am 61 now and kids are grown and I have 2 grandsons.
    We do what we have to so we can do what we want to, as a dear friend on these boards is fond of reminding us. You will meet her and many more lovely, courageous women here, and sooner than you think you will be holding the flashlight for someone else who is walking the path you have just traveled. We never leave anyone in the dark here. :)
    God bless.

    Welcome
    Welcome to both of you newbies! I wish that you weren't here as a result of bc, but, you will and have met already some courageous and wonderful bc survivors that will help you thru this. Post as often as you want. Someone is always here for you!

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #5
    Good morning!
    If it's any help at all, under the circumstances, what you are feeling are quite "normal." I, sadly, welcome you to this website but you will be glad you found it. I certainly am! It is FULL of AMAZING,WONDERFUL women, who are sharing their own, unique experience with breast cancer. None of us ever thought we would find ourselves with breast cancer.

    Yes, the waiting is awful......been there....Test after test, and wait after wait.......then you have to wait when you have an appointment....I told my husband I wish I would have kept a "wait" journal, to see exactly how many hours we spent "waiting" on this and that......hours, I am sure were spent.

    I understand the "putting on a brave face"too. Especially around your children. Mine are grown, married with children of their own. I am 58.....married to my high school sweetheart, 40 years. I did the same thing, until the day I found out I had to have chemo...as we left the oncologist's office I was in tears......My husband, God Bless him, took my hand and asked.."Are you okay?" That did it! I screamed, "NO! I AM NOT OKAY, if I were okay we wouldnt't be visiting a cancer treatment specialist!" I had to let it out, finally. And quite honestly, I felt better afterwards.....strange isn't it? On the advice from my son, who is a shrink, he told me to let it out! My situation is differnt as far as my "kids" are concerned, they are adults, so I understand having two teenage daughters is quite different. They are still so dependent on you and are probably as scared as you are.....and along with your husband, they probably feel quite helpless...and because of that, their emotions are all over the place.

    I am pretty far along in this journey.....I had my lumpectomy in May, I had clean lymph nodes, finished chemo the end of August and have had 7 of my 33 radiation treatments. Believe it or not, in a strange sort of way, the further along you get, it does get somewhat easier. I went through stages......and I think I finally reached an "acceptance" stage and told myself, "THE FIGHT IS ON!" and I concentrated on that... I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND wanting the cancer OUT! I couldn't wait til my surgery!!!! I, like all of us, wanted it OUT!

    I hope you will find some peace and comfort with family, friends and this website....
    Prayers and best wishes to you!
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #6
    marilyndbk said:

    welcome
    This is my first post. I have been reading stories since I have had reoccurance of bc in Aug, 2009. Your post touched me and I know you will hear from others. I have read so many of your stories and feel the pain, but also hope.Faith has been a big factor is getting me through this far. I did have bilateral mastectomy with lattisimus flap reconstruction Sept 10 and my outlook as far as beating cancer is good. It is the emotional part I also have problem with, I have received much strength from this site and you will also.

    Just want to welcome you
    Just want to welcome you Larissa and you too Marilyn. BC is hard and the treatments are hard, but, we have all been there, are going thru it or will be. We help each other. I am kind of new here and am so thankful that my oncologist recommended this site to me. It has helped me so much. I had a lumpectomy and am now finished with 19 rads. So, I am looking forward to the finish line. Welcome again!

    Sue :)
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #7
    zahalene said:

    Welcome laurissa
    You are right, it is mind blowing, not to mention the physical and emotional challenges we face and deal with.
    However, it is DOABLE.
    I was 38 with a 1 year old son and 12 year old daughter when I was first diagnosed with bc similar to yours. Guess what? I am 61 now and kids are grown and I have 2 grandsons.
    We do what we have to so we can do what we want to, as a dear friend on these boards is fond of reminding us. You will meet her and many more lovely, courageous women here, and sooner than you think you will be holding the flashlight for someone else who is walking the path you have just traveled. We never leave anyone in the dark here. :)
    God bless.

    ☻
    Hi Laurissa. What Zah said was perfect! You are surrounded now by bc survivors that will help you thru anything that you go thru.

    ♥ Noel
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #8
    marilyndbk said:

    welcome
    This is my first post. I have been reading stories since I have had reoccurance of bc in Aug, 2009. Your post touched me and I know you will hear from others. I have read so many of your stories and feel the pain, but also hope.Faith has been a big factor is getting me through this far. I did have bilateral mastectomy with lattisimus flap reconstruction Sept 10 and my outlook as far as beating cancer is good. It is the emotional part I also have problem with, I have received much strength from this site and you will also.

    Hi Marilynn
    Hi Marilyndbk and welcome to the site! Glad that you finally introduced yourself. We will help you thru your treatment and your journey with bc. Someone is always here for you!

    ♥ Noel
  • Tux
    Tux Member Posts: 544
    #9
    Welcome to this discussion
    Welcome to this discussion board. I was diagnosed in July, had lumpectomy, & just finished rads. Returning to surgeon on Mon. -- prob. starting tamoxifen soon. I certainly do understand wanting the cancer out right away. Like others, I could hardly wait for the surgery (like it was a special occasion or something!). I do think that as time goes on & the more you learn about your disease, the less scary it is.

    Best wishes in your treatment...
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #10
    Welcome to Laurissa and Marilyn!
    I just wanted to also welcome you to this site. As you're read in the previous comments, it's a wonderful site with amazing women. They are here to support, encourage, share experiences and love as we all go through our treatments. It has been a godsend for me and I'm sure you'll agree. Best of luck, we'll get through this and slay the beast on our way!
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    #11
    WELCOME
    Laurissa, just wanted to say welcome to a wonderful site full of encouragement,knowledgeable and loving people. We are here for you every step of the way! Hugs, Diane
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #12
    marilyndbk said:

    welcome
    This is my first post. I have been reading stories since I have had reoccurance of bc in Aug, 2009. Your post touched me and I know you will hear from others. I have read so many of your stories and feel the pain, but also hope.Faith has been a big factor is getting me through this far. I did have bilateral mastectomy with lattisimus flap reconstruction Sept 10 and my outlook as far as beating cancer is good. It is the emotional part I also have problem with, I have received much strength from this site and you will also.

    Welcome to both of you
    Glad you found us, though sorry for the reason. I was diagnosed in May, partial Mestectomy in June, finished Radiation 2 weeks ago and currently taking Tamoxifen. Will have my Ovaries removed in a little over a week from now. Geesh, it's probably time to update my "all about me" page (LOL). I had faith in the very beginning I would make it through everything and "ta da"....here I am. You will some day be standing where I am at. And as everyone here helped me to get there, we will help you to get there also. We KNOW emotions!!! So bring your emotions with you and we'll help get you through! ♥Pammy
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #13
    Welcome
    I am so glad you joined this wonderful group of sisters in Pink, believe me they will bring you so much support and caring knowledge in the upcoming journey. I don't know what i would have done without all my dear friends here. You will get through this and come out on the other side as a survivor! I send my prayers and good wishes to you.
    Hugs, Jackie
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #14
    rjjj said:

    Welcome
    I am so glad you joined this wonderful group of sisters in Pink, believe me they will bring you so much support and caring knowledge in the upcoming journey. I don't know what i would have done without all my dear friends here. You will get through this and come out on the other side as a survivor! I send my prayers and good wishes to you.
    Hugs, Jackie

    Jackie
    How are you doing now? I hope everything is better for you! Praying for you still too!

    ♥ Noel
  • laurissa
    laurissa Member Posts: 773
    #15
    Thanks for replies. I've
    Thanks for replies. I've been busy looking at wig sites like tlc and Paula Young. I hope they look as good as the pictures! I've got 3 on the way. Has anyone tried these wigs? If so which ones did you order? I'll also get in touch with American Cancer Society and see what they can do. I'm still having anxiety attacks once in a while. I have a feeling something is wrong with my ovary too. I've had cysts on them 5 years ago and feels the same way. Feel bloated, gassy, not going right. It feels like I'm ovulating all the time. I wish this coming week was over, maybe I'll have answers by then.
  • Deb1969
    Deb1969 Member Posts: 165
    #16
    laurissa said:

    Thanks for replies. I've
    Thanks for replies. I've been busy looking at wig sites like tlc and Paula Young. I hope they look as good as the pictures! I've got 3 on the way. Has anyone tried these wigs? If so which ones did you order? I'll also get in touch with American Cancer Society and see what they can do. I'm still having anxiety attacks once in a while. I have a feeling something is wrong with my ovary too. I've had cysts on them 5 years ago and feels the same way. Feel bloated, gassy, not going right. It feels like I'm ovulating all the time. I wish this coming week was over, maybe I'll have answers by then.

    Welcome to the site. I was
    Welcome to the site. I was diagnosed on August 7th with BC then found the liver cancer on my PET Scan. Just had my first round of chemo on Sept 16th. The discussion boards have helped me tremendously. I was terrified to death. I have cancer. So many thoughts going through my mind, I couldnt remember from one minute to the next. Luckily I found these ladies here on the boards, nothing like talking to people who have first hand knowledge and know exactly what youre going through. Anytime you have a question post it here. I guarantee these girls will help you out.
    Deb

    PS I went to my regional American Cancer Society chapter, they gave me two wigs.
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537 Member
    #17
    HI Laurissa
    I am 52 and was diagnosed in april and had bilateral mastectomy with chemo. I am to finish up with chemo in 2 wks then will have herceptin every 3 wks for a year. I have an 18 year old who just went off to college last weekend and a 23 year old daughter in chicago. They are living together there so thats a worry off my mind.

    I know how bad the worry is and truly what you are going thru now is the worst part. All of the appts and the not knowing what the treatment plan is makes your head spin. I cried alot at the beginning. I never thought I would get thru to where I am now. I did get xanax which is an antianxiety med and started an antidepressant about 6 wks after the diagnosis. I really think that helped. The other thing is, if you are not sleeping that will make you more emotional and depressed. Dont hesitate to ask your doctor for something to help you sleep. Trust me, once you get going on everything and you have your answers you will feel more in control.

    Meanwhile, this site is really the best thing for me. YOu will actually make friends here and people really do care about you. We will all help you thru it all because WE know what you are going thru...every step of the way.

    Please post often...someone is always here
    Hugs
    LindaT
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #18
    mlmjt1 said:

    HI Laurissa
    I am 52 and was diagnosed in april and had bilateral mastectomy with chemo. I am to finish up with chemo in 2 wks then will have herceptin every 3 wks for a year. I have an 18 year old who just went off to college last weekend and a 23 year old daughter in chicago. They are living together there so thats a worry off my mind.

    I know how bad the worry is and truly what you are going thru now is the worst part. All of the appts and the not knowing what the treatment plan is makes your head spin. I cried alot at the beginning. I never thought I would get thru to where I am now. I did get xanax which is an antianxiety med and started an antidepressant about 6 wks after the diagnosis. I really think that helped. The other thing is, if you are not sleeping that will make you more emotional and depressed. Dont hesitate to ask your doctor for something to help you sleep. Trust me, once you get going on everything and you have your answers you will feel more in control.

    Meanwhile, this site is really the best thing for me. YOu will actually make friends here and people really do care about you. We will all help you thru it all because WE know what you are going thru...every step of the way.

    Please post often...someone is always here
    Hugs
    LindaT

    Hi, I am 53 years old and I
    Hi, I am 53 years old and I am a 1 year survivor, and I can relate to all you are going through. But i wanted to answer your question on wigs. I ordered my wig from TLC, and it was the NICOLE in sunkissed brown, I really liked it. I got a lot of compliments on it also, i would definitely recommend. My hair cut was similar to that before I lost it. The good news is that my hair grew back awesome, curly at first-but now has a lot of body. Take care..
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #19
    Hi Laurissa-
    Welcome,but at the same time I am sorry that you have to be here...None of us expected that we would ever get bc. Before,I had just always remembered Oct. as bc month,and the pink ribbons,pink Yoplait yogurt lids,and those poor women out there in the world who I heard were fighting it!And then I found this hard as a rock lump,thought I was being paranoid about it so didn't have another mammo till a year later-had a biopsy then a lumpectomy-and then was diagnosed with bc.And it's changed my life in good and bad ways...
    I know that this will probably go in one ear and come out the other-but try try try not to worry about whether or not it's spread until you have reason to worry!
    And if you can and want to,find a cancer support group close to you that you-and your husband-can go to. And stay with us! And hey,if you scroll down on the page with the different cancer boards,there is one for caregiver which is what your husband is- he could probably really benefit from that and be able to get support of his own!
    Keep us posted on how you are!We are here 24/7.
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #20
    marilyndbk said:

    welcome
    This is my first post. I have been reading stories since I have had reoccurance of bc in Aug, 2009. Your post touched me and I know you will hear from others. I have read so many of your stories and feel the pain, but also hope.Faith has been a big factor is getting me through this far. I did have bilateral mastectomy with lattisimus flap reconstruction Sept 10 and my outlook as far as beating cancer is good. It is the emotional part I also have problem with, I have received much strength from this site and you will also.

    Marilyn,
    Welcome!
    Yes,faith definately helped me through and still is every day!
  • e_hope
    e_hope Member Posts: 370
    #21
    welcome
    welcome laurissa and maryli... You have come to the right place. This is scary time for you guys. We all have been there. So many test and doctors to see. and waiting and more waiting on top of that...

    I was diagnosed in Feb 09 and I am 36 with 3 young kids (7,4,&2) its a shock to you system when you hear that word Cancer....

    This is a wonderful place to get info, from the woman who have lived it, Vent when your angry, and get support when your sad... your pink sister will be here to pick you up...

    good luck on your journey

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