Finished my initial treatment protocol today. Need to re-define myself as a 'survivor OUT of treatm

You are now an "alumn"!
Linda,

I concluded treatment on April 18, 1982 with mixed emotions. Of course, I was relieved to be done with all the vomiting, nausea, and the rest of it, but I was also apprehensive about the future, like the Linda Blair character in "The Exorcist", the feeling of dread that the demon could return in the sequel. And, there was the thing about coming to terms with my marriage, now that the struggle was, at least for now, over.

Would this mean a resumption of my previous life, which was unsatisfying, or a personal renaissance? Alas, it was not to be. Divorce, a new job, a crusade for meaning, a series of failed relationships, travel, loss of family, a return to school, a new career, becoming the sole surviving member of my family, all following in the wake of 04/18/82. What remains is still an "undiscovered country".

Love, Courage, and Congratulations!

Rick (Terato-carcinoma, Class of '82)

soccerfreaks said:

Congratulations!
Awesome news, Linda! Congraulations for recognizing that you are a survivor, something you have been, incidentally, since the very day they diagnosed you, in my humble opinion.

Clearly, we all deal with that NED (No Evidence of Disease) announcement differently. I have a feeling based on your previous posts in this joint that you are going to handle it very well indeed. There WILL be, in your case, that 40% of irritating doubt and worry, particularly when any former symptom shows up (in my case, if I cough, I wonder; if my jaw hurts, I wonder).

Live your life, Linda! Do exactly as you have clearly been doing all of this time: enjoy every moment of every day with the awareness that most of us never have until we die, that you are indeed mortal, and that every moment is indeed precious.

Again, congratulations on an excellent report from your doctors!

As some of us folks like to belt out on occasions such as this: WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

(Um, that was totally out of character ).

Take care,

Joe

Congrads
Yes Linda your reactions are very understandable. Mine were similar when I finished treatment. I felt very disoriented and knew things had changed but wasnt sure what or how.
Part of me wanted to rejoice and yet I was afraid to believe I might have beaten this thing. Nine months post treatment I am still processing the whole experience. Be patient with yourself and be good to yourself. If you find planning a vacation or celebration appropriate go for it. We only get one life and it is so precious. Enjoy each day as it comes.

Celebrate the New Your Linda
Linda, I am a 19 year survivor of ALL (Acute Lyphoblastic Leukemia) and went through a successful BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) back in 1985. I was a part of a 2% population of worldwide of ALL patients that had the opportunity to be treated with a BMT. I only spend 1 year of treatment and they did not have the internet or post treatment network groups but seminars. We faced the same challenges and questions then as many do now after finishing treatment but we had to find support when we could through other patients or support groups. The experience only makes you grow with new perspectives on life but be encourage to move on and see this as a part of life as a cancer survivor. Back then they gave us a cancer free ticket after 5 years after your follow up and the percent rate of the cancer returning was at a much higher rate. You cannot focus on that as long as you follow through with what is required because many of us know life is full of other circumstances but you must stay positive and celebrate your new beginings. Continue to live a normal life, reach goals, travel, go back to school, enjoy your family and know your experience will always be a part of your life. Give yourself time to reflect on the experience that made you grow because it was real but you "survived" - It is not the essense of Linda so take one day at a time and continue to live for the day with the energy you have for that day, tomorrow will take care of itself. Back in 1985 it was still a tabo but today, it a proud achievement. . . as the young kids say today . . . YOU GO LINDA !