addiction

Not Alone
Beth, I am still in pain from surgeries and start every day with 20 mg of Oxycodone which I usually take 2-3 x per day. I also have dilaudid (2 mg?) that I take for sharp pain (2-3) per day. The thing is that I don't get the relief I wish I did. I still have pain form 5 years ago. One of the first pain meds I was on was percocets/percodan? and I was eating them like crazy. I weaned myself off of them but still had pain so switched to a pain patch, which helped but since I swim a lot in the summer it would not work out so I am back on a pill(s). I worry sometimes but I also feel that while I am NOT out of the woods with the cancer, I am taking these to ease my discomfort.

I'm sure you don't take them for a "high" because I don't get high from them either, they take the edge off. It sounds like it could be a part physical addiction and part psychological addiction (or maybe it's just in your head). I am often surprised when my Onc is surprised when I say I have pain. I think "well...I've have 5 major operations, how should I feel?" I'm in pain. I would be shocked if you were the only one of your Onc's patients who have this issue. Maybe talk to one of his/her nurses? Sometimes the Onc can be somewhat distanced from this type of thing I find. Any other option is to try to wean yourself off with a OTC pain reliever?

I don't think you are crazy based on THIS example ;-)
I hope you see that NED guy again at your next checkup
-p

dorookie said:

Thank you
Thanks for your post. What kind of OTC do you suggest? I sometimes think they keep me on these because I am not totally out of the woods yet. My last visit to the ONC when he said I was all clear, he didnt seem so uplifted, he just said there was no evidence of active disease which left me feeling like he wasnt all that hopeful it would stay away. He is going to be monitoring me every 6 weeks instead of 3 months just to be sure. Truthfully I am scared to death it will come back. SOme say just stay on them until you are really out of the woods and can stop worrying about it coming back, but does that really ever happen? Maybe your right this might be the psychological side that keeps me on them, but I swear I try to stop taking them and my body goes into one hell of a mess.

Well I have to get ready for work, I made it two weeks without taking a day off, thought that was pretty good. So back to work I go. Its hard, but I am making it.

Thanks again Phil, I really appreciate your kind and wise words.

Beth

OTC Pain Meds
I would not feel comfortable suggesting anything. Some of them can cause liver damage and I don't know enough and do not want to give you false information. Speak to pharmacist or doctor is my advise and if anyone here suggests anything, research it for side effects/drug interactions etc.

I can see why you're on edge a bit. The word "active" is rather important and inconclusive IMO. You can't be focused too much on the "'what ifs?". Just as it took time to develop cancer, it takes time to be cured. Look at me (don't scream), 5+ years, still not NED, getting closer, who cares? It's more how you feel than what they tell you. I think the one thing we ALL need to remember is that when/if we get to NED, we don't blow off followup checkups. That's what could get us.

I think you should have said "kind and wise **** words...."
-phil