addiction

dorookie
dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Am I the only one dealing with addiction to pain meds? When I was going through treatment I needed them, and all my doctors were more then happy to deal them out. Well now that I am NED (hoping to stay NED I go for my check up in 2 weeks) I find that I still have to take them. I dont take them to get high, I just find my body says I need them and it drives me insane. If I forget to take my dosage at night it will literally wake me up, my whole body acheing, some would call jonesing. I hate it, I am not on a high dose and all the docs just seem to say its in your head, well its not, I believe I am physically addicted to these dang things and I dont know what to do. It seems they control my life and I hate them. I take 30mg oxycotin in the morning and at night, and then I take about 2 10 mg of oxycodone. And yes for being a big girl I am a light weight. I am one of those who has NEVER done drugs growing up, drank much, now harderly ever drink.

I just dont know what to do, most people dont believe me, maybe I am a bit crazy. Thanks for letting me vent....am I alone?

Beth

Comments

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #2
    Not Alone
    Beth, I am still in pain from surgeries and start every day with 20 mg of Oxycodone which I usually take 2-3 x per day. I also have dilaudid (2 mg?) that I take for sharp pain (2-3) per day. The thing is that I don't get the relief I wish I did. I still have pain form 5 years ago. One of the first pain meds I was on was percocets/percodan? and I was eating them like crazy. I weaned myself off of them but still had pain so switched to a pain patch, which helped but since I swim a lot in the summer it would not work out so I am back on a pill(s). I worry sometimes but I also feel that while I am NOT out of the woods with the cancer, I am taking these to ease my discomfort.

    I'm sure you don't take them for a "high" because I don't get high from them either, they take the edge off. It sounds like it could be a part physical addiction and part psychological addiction (or maybe it's just in your head). I am often surprised when my Onc is surprised when I say I have pain. I think "well...I've have 5 major operations, how should I feel?" I'm in pain. I would be shocked if you were the only one of your Onc's patients who have this issue. Maybe talk to one of his/her nurses? Sometimes the Onc can be somewhat distanced from this type of thing I find. Any other option is to try to wean yourself off with a OTC pain reliever?

    I don't think you are crazy based on THIS example ;-)
    I hope you see that NED guy again at your next checkup
    -p
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    #3
    PhillieG said:

    Not Alone
    Beth, I am still in pain from surgeries and start every day with 20 mg of Oxycodone which I usually take 2-3 x per day. I also have dilaudid (2 mg?) that I take for sharp pain (2-3) per day. The thing is that I don't get the relief I wish I did. I still have pain form 5 years ago. One of the first pain meds I was on was percocets/percodan? and I was eating them like crazy. I weaned myself off of them but still had pain so switched to a pain patch, which helped but since I swim a lot in the summer it would not work out so I am back on a pill(s). I worry sometimes but I also feel that while I am NOT out of the woods with the cancer, I am taking these to ease my discomfort.

    I'm sure you don't take them for a "high" because I don't get high from them either, they take the edge off. It sounds like it could be a part physical addiction and part psychological addiction (or maybe it's just in your head). I am often surprised when my Onc is surprised when I say I have pain. I think "well...I've have 5 major operations, how should I feel?" I'm in pain. I would be shocked if you were the only one of your Onc's patients who have this issue. Maybe talk to one of his/her nurses? Sometimes the Onc can be somewhat distanced from this type of thing I find. Any other option is to try to wean yourself off with a OTC pain reliever?

    I don't think you are crazy based on THIS example ;-)
    I hope you see that NED guy again at your next checkup
    -p

    Thank you
    Thanks for your post. What kind of OTC do you suggest? I sometimes think they keep me on these because I am not totally out of the woods yet. My last visit to the ONC when he said I was all clear, he didnt seem so uplifted, he just said there was no evidence of active disease which left me feeling like he wasnt all that hopeful it would stay away. He is going to be monitoring me every 6 weeks instead of 3 months just to be sure. Truthfully I am scared to death it will come back. SOme say just stay on them until you are really out of the woods and can stop worrying about it coming back, but does that really ever happen? Maybe your right this might be the psychological side that keeps me on them, but I swear I try to stop taking them and my body goes into one hell of a mess.

    Well I have to get ready for work, I made it two weeks without taking a day off, thought that was pretty good. So back to work I go. Its hard, but I am making it.

    Thanks again Phil, I really appreciate your kind and wise words.

    Beth
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #4
    dorookie said:

    Thank you
    Thanks for your post. What kind of OTC do you suggest? I sometimes think they keep me on these because I am not totally out of the woods yet. My last visit to the ONC when he said I was all clear, he didnt seem so uplifted, he just said there was no evidence of active disease which left me feeling like he wasnt all that hopeful it would stay away. He is going to be monitoring me every 6 weeks instead of 3 months just to be sure. Truthfully I am scared to death it will come back. SOme say just stay on them until you are really out of the woods and can stop worrying about it coming back, but does that really ever happen? Maybe your right this might be the psychological side that keeps me on them, but I swear I try to stop taking them and my body goes into one hell of a mess.

    Well I have to get ready for work, I made it two weeks without taking a day off, thought that was pretty good. So back to work I go. Its hard, but I am making it.

    Thanks again Phil, I really appreciate your kind and wise words.

    Beth

    OTC Pain Meds
    I would not feel comfortable suggesting anything. Some of them can cause liver damage and I don't know enough and do not want to give you false information. Speak to pharmacist or doctor is my advise and if anyone here suggests anything, research it for side effects/drug interactions etc.

    I can see why you're on edge a bit. The word "active" is rather important and inconclusive IMO. You can't be focused too much on the "'what ifs?". Just as it took time to develop cancer, it takes time to be cured. Look at me (don't scream), 5+ years, still not NED, getting closer, who cares? It's more how you feel than what they tell you. I think the one thing we ALL need to remember is that when/if we get to NED, we don't blow off followup checkups. That's what could get us.

    I think you should have said "kind and wise **** words...."
    -phil
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465 Member
    #5
    pain pills
    I asked about pain meds causing addiction and they said if you're taking them for pain you're not addicted. If you take them to get a buzz that's different. Alot of people still continue to have pain long after their cancer free. I think some doctors don't realize how long pain can continue. Is there a pain clinic near you? No you're not alone. I still reach for darvocet on my bad days. Sometimes mental pain is worse than the physical.

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