Update from Mike49

Mike
Good luck to you. Our prayers and thoughts are with you and with the doctors.

Many Hugs, Vicki

Hi Mike,good luck and best
Hi Mike,good luck and best wishes to you.You will be in my prayer.

Sorry about the lesion
Hi Mike. I'm sorry about the PET result, but it sounds like your team is right on top of it and it is small and resectable. So best of luck. You are in my prayers.

Hugs,
Kirsten

Mike49 said:

Home from hospital and healing
I am home after Liver Resection surgery and a bonus gall bladder removal. I was wiped out for the first three days home. I spent three nights in ICU and you get exhausted in there. I see the Oncologist again on the 15th, He is planning on doing FOLFIRI and Cetuximab. I know I can handle it but I am not looking forward to more chemo. Over the past 10 months I have tried to remain strong (and I still am strong) but I find I am a little emotional and letting myself feel it.

There is a time to fight and a time to feel, I think balance is important and letting myself be pissed off at or sad about cancer is allowed in some small doses. Anybody ever find themselves strong so long that they hit the wall? I feel like I hit it on Monday always downplaying the serios nature of what this fight is all about so my family, friends and co-workers don't feel sorry for me. I think now I have bigger things to worry about then how others think or feel, this fight takes energy.

Thanks all for letting me emote

We Think Alike
Hi, Mike

I'm Craig - nice to meet you.

You struck a chord with me on your post. First, let me say that you are a brave man. Liver resection is a big deal. I almost had one but I've go fatty liver, and so they switched to RFA to attach the tumor instead.

As long as they were already in there, it was good that they could remove your gall bladder as well - maybe they will give you a discount:} Just kidding on that part. My wife is due to have her gall bladder too, we're meeting a surgeon next week. That's a big bang on your body and I've heard ICU is a scary place to be. I'm glad you are doing ok.

I echo your sentiments completely on your emotional state of mind. I always play it down to friends, co-workers, and family - even my wife. I do not want them to pity me either. I ask for them to be able to empathize and understand, but most of the time, let's face it, after a certain amount of time, people just don't want to hear about it - they just want it to go away - like you can take a pill and just get over it and back to where they think you need to be.

Every time I have received the cancer diagnosis, I go through my grief cycle: I skip completely through denial and always have. I get mad 1st, because I know what I have to go back through again, as you stated above. Then, I get a little sad that I have to have it and go back through it and everybody is getting on with their lives having a great time, and you are stuck on the launching pad and can't "lift off." Then, I get my mind right and resolve to fight and continue. Then "rinse & repeat." What I mean by that, is that that the cycle can play over again at different times during the battle.

I have found that most people do not have the Depth and Understanding to be able to provide you with the types of things you need when you are fighting Cancer. I don't guess I did either before I got, so I just people be the way they are. You are right, you have so much to deal with and need your energy for fighting, that you can't worry about how people are perceiving you. I had almost lost compelete faith in people, even my close ones, until I stumbled upon this board. I've found more love and support here than at any time of my life, so I think God got me here to help myself and others.

My personal battle has just started its 6th year - we're looking at 2 spots on the pleura of my lung right now and I've met with a thorasic surgeon to discuss it, so I'm back in it as you say and would just like to "pull over" and let this thing go by. But, we have to meet head on and gear up again.

Anyway, I've "hit the wall" many times as you described and I think it's more than ok, to be Mad, Sad, and Glad. Maybe you are down for a day or 2 and then back up and at 'em. This is normal, we would not be human if we did not feel like this.

I wish I had things to break like Vicki does :}

It was nice meeting you and you seem like a good person.

All my best and best of luck to you - keep us all posted. When I know something more, I'll relay as well.

-Craig

menright said:

Post surgery blues
Mike:

I am with you too! I don't want anymore chemo, but I recognize that after liver surgery, there is likely more to come. Your story has helped me one more step to accepting this as fact.

You make excellent comments about fighting then anger. I have dealt with this beast in a very similar manner. Best of luck and good luck with your surgery recovery.

Mike

Sorry you are going thru this; I am a liver resection person
too and it does wipe you out for a while; my thoughts are
with you and I'm hoping the chemo will zap it this time.

Huggs
Barbara

Mike49 said:

Home from hospital and healing
I am home after Liver Resection surgery and a bonus gall bladder removal. I was wiped out for the first three days home. I spent three nights in ICU and you get exhausted in there. I see the Oncologist again on the 15th, He is planning on doing FOLFIRI and Cetuximab. I know I can handle it but I am not looking forward to more chemo. Over the past 10 months I have tried to remain strong (and I still am strong) but I find I am a little emotional and letting myself feel it.

There is a time to fight and a time to feel, I think balance is important and letting myself be pissed off at or sad about cancer is allowed in some small doses. Anybody ever find themselves strong so long that they hit the wall? I feel like I hit it on Monday always downplaying the serios nature of what this fight is all about so my family, friends and co-workers don't feel sorry for me. I think now I have bigger things to worry about then how others think or feel, this fight takes energy.

Thanks all for letting me emote

Welcome home
I've also had the right lobe liver resection so minus my gall bladder too. Surgeons removed 50% last fall. I found this surgery to take longer to recover from than the LAR. My diaphragm stayed sorer longer and I was more wasted. Doing fine now. Marvelous the liver regrows eh?
Hang in there and be gentle with yourself.

all the best, Leslie

lesvanb said:

Welcome home
I've also had the right lobe liver resection so minus my gall bladder too. Surgeons removed 50% last fall. I found this surgery to take longer to recover from than the LAR. My diaphragm stayed sorer longer and I was more wasted. Doing fine now. Marvelous the liver regrows eh?
Hang in there and be gentle with yourself.

all the best, Leslie

Mike49
Just hold on buddy, no one said it was gonna be easy, looking at that pic tells me your gonna do just fine. Its fine to yell , scream, gripe, moan, and kick something, its normal for us anyway. We deserve to get angry and mad, then take it out on the disease, and show the ones we love just how much everyday that we do by not allowing this to get into our family time. Get it out and then get rid of it and move on with your good side of living your life, and simply kick its **** again.... hang in there buddy.....