Stage 4 with 6 kids.....

Lostnaz99
Lostnaz99 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hello everyone,
I am new here...I don't know what took so long but today I decided to search the web for some guidence and maybe a peace of mind. My girlfriend was diagnosed on Jan 24 with colon cancer. She had been complaining of a side pain for a month or so and I finally broke down and begged her to go to the doctors. That was in August of 08. He told her it was indegestion gave her some nexeum and she was sent away. She was a person that went to the gym and went running 2 to 3 times a week. In January she stopped running...she could barely climb the stairs with out losing her breath. She went back to the doctors....colon cancer stage 4. She is 38.
Together we are raising 6 children ages 18 to 5. Yesterday she said to me...I hope God gives me at least 5 more years, thats all I ask. I ask for that too. If she loses the battle, I lose her and the children...See the state of AZ doesnt recognize same sex couples. The children will be given to their father who hasnt supported them in 2 years.

I am Lost......... the doctor says 70% chance she will pull through. All the web sites say 8 to 15%. They found 2 spots on her lung and 2 spots on her adrenal glands and of course the liver but I donot know how much. She has finished her first set of chemo treatments as of today. The thing that boggles me is that she did not loose her hair. She did not really get sick. She sleeps for about 3 days after treatment and then is up and going again. I know in my heart she is a fighter....her moto is "I'm going to see Bernie graduate high school" (the 5 year old) But if she is doing so well is it working?
I know that seems silly to ask because I should be jumping for joy that she is so strong. Believe me I am amazed because she just keeps going. But today I just got a little scared...they are going to retest her and what if the Dr says no change or its worse?
In the mean time we wait...
She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And the kids....little treasures with big hearts. Bernie is afraid to go to kindergarden because "who is going to take care of my Mom when she has chemo? That's my job."
she is my best friend and the strongest most wonderful person I have ever met. just looking around for someone to share some hope. We have a family to raise, graduations to go to, weddings to get ready for. If anyone would share with me I would greatly appreciate it.
Beth
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Comments

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Sorry
    I'm so sorry to hear of her cancer. First of all welcome to the board. Please post often as someone is always here to help. Don't ever look at statistics on the internet. They are very outdated and things have changed including treatment. There are people here that can tell you of stories and ones that are going through it now that are survivors.

    Kids are treasures and a wonderful part of one's life. You all need to enjoy life and do everything the doctors say.

    All those events will be shared by you both. Keep strong and positive.

    Kim
  • grandma2selena
    grandma2selena Member Posts: 199
    It's ok to be...
    Believe me it is ok to be scared. We have been scared if not for ourselves for dear friends and loved ones. Kid's are amazing and sometimes the place we find the strength to keep going.
    I went through my treatment for Anal Cancer raising my 2 year old granddaughter. She is what kept me going.

    I agree with the other post don't believe what you read on the Internet, I have yet to find statistics that even match what my Drs told me. I believed my Drs and am now NED (no evidence of disease). We hear such horrible stories about Chemo and the ill affects, but they have come so far with Chemo that many people do not get very sick from it but mostly they have come so far in designing Chemo for specific cancers, and they work so much better then the chemo of the past.

    The waiting is the hardest part to get the test results. In the meantime feel free to post here and know I will keep all of you in my prayers for GOOD reports.

    Debbie
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583

    Sorry
    I'm so sorry to hear of her cancer. First of all welcome to the board. Please post often as someone is always here to help. Don't ever look at statistics on the internet. They are very outdated and things have changed including treatment. There are people here that can tell you of stories and ones that are going through it now that are survivors.

    Kids are treasures and a wonderful part of one's life. You all need to enjoy life and do everything the doctors say.

    All those events will be shared by you both. Keep strong and positive.

    Kim

    You will have many more years together
    First and foremost all of the people on this board will tell you to never look at the info on the net. Colon cancer is highly researched and new things are coming to light every year. The internet statistics are all outdated. First of all alot of those sights have not been updated in a couple of years and second of all, they have to go back five years for those statistics and alot of progress has been made in the last five years. I`ve seen newer numbers that predict that future statistics will show the numbers to be closer to 50% as far as 5 year survival rate and your girlfriend has youth on her side. There are plenty of people on this site that either beat stage 4 colon cancer or have lived with it for years. Many with mets to liver and lungs. One thing that is vital is apositive attitude and it sounds like she is doing great in that category although as we all do she probably has her days but people in our situation are allowwed to have those. I think a good sense of humor helps alot too. The ability to laugh is very healing. You should both be allowed to have the occassional cry because that is cathartic. Never stop fighting and enjoying life. Don`t ever let cancer rob you of your joy. It does not define you.

    p.s.
    I do know this is a scary thing to deal with and being scared is ok.

    Eric

    Eric
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342

    It's ok to be...
    Believe me it is ok to be scared. We have been scared if not for ourselves for dear friends and loved ones. Kid's are amazing and sometimes the place we find the strength to keep going.
    I went through my treatment for Anal Cancer raising my 2 year old granddaughter. She is what kept me going.

    I agree with the other post don't believe what you read on the Internet, I have yet to find statistics that even match what my Drs told me. I believed my Drs and am now NED (no evidence of disease). We hear such horrible stories about Chemo and the ill affects, but they have come so far with Chemo that many people do not get very sick from it but mostly they have come so far in designing Chemo for specific cancers, and they work so much better then the chemo of the past.

    The waiting is the hardest part to get the test results. In the meantime feel free to post here and know I will keep all of you in my prayers for GOOD reports.

    Debbie

    Hey There!
    We have another Beth here! Nice to meet you, and glad you found us! I am a mom of 4, who has Stage 4 CC, with a tumor in my liver, and was just diagnosed in January '09, and believe me, I know how scary this disease is, but first and please listen: DO NOT SEARCH THE INTERNET FOR STATS! they are very outdated, and wrong, and they have so much more advanced and cutting edge technology these days that people ARE living longer with this disease, there are people who have had it for 5, 7, 14 years! look up the topic "Stage 4 Unite" or other stage 4 topics, you'll see alot of success stories, sure, there are alot of deaths as well, but I believe it's all also thinking positive, and how your attitude is toward it as well, that's half the battle, at least, with an excellent comprehensive cancer center, don't go to just any ole doctor, see more then one, and make sure she is with someone she is comfortable with.

    It's sad that these states don't recognize same sex marriages, and to give those children to fathers who were never in their lives is very disturbing, I don't believe it takes gender or who the heck your married too, to make you a good parent, I see heterosexual couples everyday who shouldn't even be parents! there are people out there who shouldn't even have kids at all. I wonder, how about moving to a state that would recognize same sex marriages?? or is that out of that out of the question? I'm not good with law stuff at all. Would the 18 year old be able to get custody of them as well??

    I will tell you though, I'm not going to let this cancer get to me yet, make sure your partner has a positive attitude, and hopefully she'll even come and post with us! we can give her support, and friendship!

    I am on a chemo regimen of Folfiri with Avastin, that I get every other Wednesday, and I just sit there for a few hours at the infusion center, and get my chemo, before being connected to a pump of 5fu that I wear for 46 hours, and get disconnected on Friday, I'll be going tomorrow as a matter of fact, for my 7th treatment out of 12 that I have to do. Some side effects I am getting is the nausea, so make sure she requests some good anti-meds, EMEND was a godsend for me, but the more I go, the more the nausea seems to be building up, and I am also tired for the 3 days after I get disconnected, I don't bounce back to myself till at least Tuesday, then on those chemo off weeks, I feel great! I have not lost alll my hair, but it has gotten thinner, in fact, I had my daughter cut it up to alittle past my shoulders so alot wasn't weighing down where more would come out. I try to stay as hydrated as possible, take Immodium -AD for the diarrhea, and stool softeners for constipation, I know I haven't listed everything, but am sure you'll hear from others! There are alot of Stage 4's out there, just don't lose any hope!

    Also my first scan showed that the chemo had killed most of my cancer!

    I look forward to seeing more of you and hopefully your partner!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    hi, Beth.
    Beth, I'm so sorry for the reason you had to find this board, but welcome to the best support group going. I understand why you are scared, but try to hang in there and have hope. As you've already been told, there are lots of Stage 4's here, and they can offer stories of how to LIVE with the disease.

    *Hugs*
    Gail
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Welcome Beth
    Hi Beth,
    Welcome to the board. This group has been terrific support to my husband and me. I am also a caregiver and everyone here is great sharing and giving out great info. I like that fighting spirit. Seeing her 5 year old graduate is a wonderful goal for your girlfriend.
    Take care.
    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    hope
    Beth,

    So sorry about your partner. I hope that my story can give you a little hope. I was diagnosed as Stage III rectal but later had spread so I'm kinda like Stage IV. I have beaten the odds already. It has been 6 years since my diagnosis, and I am still alive and kicking.

    My two boys were 10 and 12 when I was diagnosed. Now the eldest is going to college. I've been able to attend high school graduation, proms, sports games, take each of them on a college tour visit, as well as all the hugs, laughter, screaming and tears that comes with raising children. I value and appreciate every day I've had with them (that's 6 years x 2 boys x 365 days = ????).

    There are some wonderful new drugs and treatment approaches out there. And new developments happening all the time.

    There is hope.

    Love,
    Tara
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Welcome Home!
    Hi, Beth

    I'm so sorry that your partner got this awful disease at the tender age of 38 - it feels like you've been robbed - I had symptoms at 40, but did not get confirmation until 3 years later at 43. The fight has been on since...

    Just click on my name from this post - click on sundanceh and it will bring up my profile page where my story is detailed.

    I just joined 15 days ago myself - great site, with great people. Look forward to hearing from you. I hope all goes well....we all understand the fear.

    You've both got alot to live for, so use that as your foundation and build upward. Myself and the others will help or offer advice in any way we can.

    Welcome home, you are safe here.

    -Craig
  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    WELCOME!
    Hi Beth,
    I am so glad that you found this group for support during this rough time. It sounds like your gf is doing fine w/ the chemo. I remember having chemo on Friday and pretty much being wiped out over the weekend, but by Monday I was good to go.
    Although my case is not exactly like the one you are dealing with, I was also Stage IV. I was diagnosed in 2002..You can check out my webpage. I was 31 and am very proud today to say I am 39 and still here and very much alive and well! There are many Stage IV survivors on this site who I am sure will be of great encouragement to you and your partner as you go through this journey. There is reason to believe she has every chance of being around for much longer than 5 years. Take charge of what you can, your diet, mental health, and spirit and BELIEVE that she will be healed because this is a whole mind/body/spirit thing you are dealing with. I am not saying that everyone who believes they will be cured makes it, but if you don't believe you CAN then you WONT. I hope that makes sense to you. The most important advice I was given was to turn "What if I die?" into "What if I live!".
    There are many people who are NED and many others who are living w/ cancer and have kept it at bay for years and years. Many who thought they would not see their kids graduate, get married, have babies, etc. who have. They can and she can too!
    Take care and come back often,
    Susan H.
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    still kickin'!
    Hi Beth,

    I'm stage IV- was diagnosed when I just turned 41. I'm turning 43 in a couple of weeks and, although I've been through a lot, I'm doing pretty well. I'm now on maintenance treatment after I had a recurrence 4 months after my liver surgery, BUT I feel good and things are being kept under control! I'm a busy mom of three and definitely plan on being around for them! There are new things in the works and I believe she'll be okay!

    So far as not losing her hair, most people don't lose theirs on the initial treatment for colon/rectal cancer (Folfox and Avastin- if that's what she had). Sometimes, some people have thinning of their hair, but don't normally lose it. There are definitely other side effects to deal with, which you can read about by scrolling down over other posts over the past couple of months. The treatment and side effects are not fun, but think of each treatment as "killing the beast" (cancer)!

    We'll be here for you and her while going through this lousy journey. We can all relate!

    Take care and God bless,
    Lisa
  • donnare
    donnare Member Posts: 266
    Welcome
    Hi Beth!

    I am a caregiver too. Exactly one month ago today our world turned upside down when my otherwise healthy husband was told his CT showed spots on his liver and our walk through hell began. Stage IV colon with multiple liver mets. I came to this board about a week ago in desperation and the wonderful people here gave me some badly needed hope. The "spinning" is starting to stop. It is devastating, isn't it?

    I am so sorry you and your loved ones have to go through this. Listen to everyone here and don't pay attention to stats on the net - I know they terrified me and now I avoid them. Everyone is different, everyone responds differently, according to my husband's oncologist and surgeon "people are now living with cancer as a chronic illness like heart disease or diabetes", and I believe in miracles too. Have faith and hope, be positive and proactive, and enjoy every minute with your family - that is what I am trying to do.

    My sister said the very same thing to me today that Eric said to you - do not let cancer define you. I am going to keep that in mind - cancer will not define my family, nor will it steal our joy. It is okay to be scared - I am still very, very scared, but fear won't rule my life either. One day at a time.

    I am also very sorry you have the added worry of losing your children because your state does not recognize same sex couples. You have enough on your plate without that too, but hopefully that will be a problem you won't have to face. Someone here talked to me about 5-10-20 - "doc gets her 5 years, new research/drug trials gets her 5 more, and 10 will get her 20" (hope I got that right). And in the event of the worse case scenario maybe the 18 year old can get custody as Donna said.

    I am happy for you both (and encouraged for us) that she is doing so well with regard to the chemo - my husband will be starting as soon as they can get him strong enough to tolerate it - hopefully approx 3-4 weeks.

    I wish you peace in your heart Beth, will keep your family in my prayers, and will be sending all good thoughts your way!

    Donna
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    Hi Beth
    What part of AZ are you in? I live in AZ too, and happen to be a lesbian as well. I know a few people that have gone through the foster care system and might be able to give you some advice. I also know some good lawyers that fight for gay rights. I live in Coolidge, its about an hour south of Phoenix. Please let me know if I can do anything to help you. I pray that your partner will be okay and that she gets a great medical team to work with.

    I was 38 when i was DX with colon cancer, A year later it came back and I was a stage 4, well I found out today that I am cancer free. THere are so many stage 4 survivors please dont give up and dont let her give up. The way you have explained her she is a fighter and you two will get to see those get married and graduate. We have three kids, 2 hers 1 mine, and our youngest is expecting our first grandchild in Oct, for a long time I didnt think I would be here for that, but here I am and I am going to be here a very very long time......I have this board and all these wonderful people for support and advise and God has my back.....

    Please let me know if there is anything I can do or if you just need to talk, hopefully we live close maybe we could get together. I could talk with your partner and my partner (caregiver) could be there for you as well...

    God Bless you..if you want my phone number please pm me and I will send it to you

    Beth
  • Lostnaz99
    Lostnaz99 Member Posts: 4
    dorookie said:

    Hi Beth
    What part of AZ are you in? I live in AZ too, and happen to be a lesbian as well. I know a few people that have gone through the foster care system and might be able to give you some advice. I also know some good lawyers that fight for gay rights. I live in Coolidge, its about an hour south of Phoenix. Please let me know if I can do anything to help you. I pray that your partner will be okay and that she gets a great medical team to work with.

    I was 38 when i was DX with colon cancer, A year later it came back and I was a stage 4, well I found out today that I am cancer free. THere are so many stage 4 survivors please dont give up and dont let her give up. The way you have explained her she is a fighter and you two will get to see those get married and graduate. We have three kids, 2 hers 1 mine, and our youngest is expecting our first grandchild in Oct, for a long time I didnt think I would be here for that, but here I am and I am going to be here a very very long time......I have this board and all these wonderful people for support and advise and God has my back.....

    Please let me know if there is anything I can do or if you just need to talk, hopefully we live close maybe we could get together. I could talk with your partner and my partner (caregiver) could be there for you as well...

    God Bless you..if you want my phone number please pm me and I will send it to you

    Beth

    Thank you all
    Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. We have the best family and now I know that we have hope. I guess I dont really think about it too much...It just hit me that day. In my eyes there is no choice but to keep going and she is the strongest person I know. =) She is on the same meds as the rest, Avastin and i think folfox. She doesnt get sick she just sleeps for 3 days and then is back to normal...Lol. She does have some weird cravings though....chicken mostly but yesterday it was ribs from safeway and coleslaw from kfc. I just do what she says.....lol she is the best. I really do appreciate all the posts and I hope for the best for you all. I am glad I found this site.
    As for our family...the kids know where their home is and this house will always be theirs. They have already said that they live here and they dont want to go anywhere else. That will never happen cuz we will see Bernie graduate...as a family.

    Beth
  • Lostnaz99
    Lostnaz99 Member Posts: 4
    Lostnaz99 said:

    Thank you all
    Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. We have the best family and now I know that we have hope. I guess I dont really think about it too much...It just hit me that day. In my eyes there is no choice but to keep going and she is the strongest person I know. =) She is on the same meds as the rest, Avastin and i think folfox. She doesnt get sick she just sleeps for 3 days and then is back to normal...Lol. She does have some weird cravings though....chicken mostly but yesterday it was ribs from safeway and coleslaw from kfc. I just do what she says.....lol she is the best. I really do appreciate all the posts and I hope for the best for you all. I am glad I found this site.
    As for our family...the kids know where their home is and this house will always be theirs. They have already said that they live here and they dont want to go anywhere else. That will never happen cuz we will see Bernie graduate...as a family.

    Beth

    PM
    Ok maybe I am not the smartest....How do you send a private message? LOL
  • trainer
    trainer Member Posts: 241
    dorookie said:

    Hi Beth
    What part of AZ are you in? I live in AZ too, and happen to be a lesbian as well. I know a few people that have gone through the foster care system and might be able to give you some advice. I also know some good lawyers that fight for gay rights. I live in Coolidge, its about an hour south of Phoenix. Please let me know if I can do anything to help you. I pray that your partner will be okay and that she gets a great medical team to work with.

    I was 38 when i was DX with colon cancer, A year later it came back and I was a stage 4, well I found out today that I am cancer free. THere are so many stage 4 survivors please dont give up and dont let her give up. The way you have explained her she is a fighter and you two will get to see those get married and graduate. We have three kids, 2 hers 1 mine, and our youngest is expecting our first grandchild in Oct, for a long time I didnt think I would be here for that, but here I am and I am going to be here a very very long time......I have this board and all these wonderful people for support and advise and God has my back.....

    Please let me know if there is anything I can do or if you just need to talk, hopefully we live close maybe we could get together. I could talk with your partner and my partner (caregiver) could be there for you as well...

    God Bless you..if you want my phone number please pm me and I will send it to you

    Beth

    Cancer free! Yippee!
    Was reading this thread and where you mentioned that you found out today that you are cancer-free! I can't think of anything else that would bring such good news for you. Remember how I suggested all we Semicolons get together for a meal? That offer is still good. However, I have had a couple of occasions to go to Coolidge for Toyota. While there, I found a really good Mexican restaurant. Maybe I can meet you there some time for a lunch. I forget the name of the place, but it's near a car wash in a strip mall.

    I had to laugh the other day. Phoenix is such a crazy hyper place and while I was driving down the main street, a lady in a car in front of me just stopped her car in the middle of the street, jumped out and ran into the Post Office. Only in America! Let me know if that's doable and you can get away for a lunch there.
    Mike
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    Lostnaz99 said:

    Thank you all
    Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. We have the best family and now I know that we have hope. I guess I dont really think about it too much...It just hit me that day. In my eyes there is no choice but to keep going and she is the strongest person I know. =) She is on the same meds as the rest, Avastin and i think folfox. She doesnt get sick she just sleeps for 3 days and then is back to normal...Lol. She does have some weird cravings though....chicken mostly but yesterday it was ribs from safeway and coleslaw from kfc. I just do what she says.....lol she is the best. I really do appreciate all the posts and I hope for the best for you all. I am glad I found this site.
    As for our family...the kids know where their home is and this house will always be theirs. They have already said that they live here and they dont want to go anywhere else. That will never happen cuz we will see Bernie graduate...as a family.

    Beth

    PM;s
    Just got to CSN home page and under connection it will say email, you have to be logged in to see it, hit that and it will ask you if you want to send a message, you hit write a message and then just put in the name of the person you want to write too. You have to use the names they use to identify here on the board, like I am dorookie. Hope this makes sense....

    Beth
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    trainer said:

    Cancer free! Yippee!
    Was reading this thread and where you mentioned that you found out today that you are cancer-free! I can't think of anything else that would bring such good news for you. Remember how I suggested all we Semicolons get together for a meal? That offer is still good. However, I have had a couple of occasions to go to Coolidge for Toyota. While there, I found a really good Mexican restaurant. Maybe I can meet you there some time for a lunch. I forget the name of the place, but it's near a car wash in a strip mall.

    I had to laugh the other day. Phoenix is such a crazy hyper place and while I was driving down the main street, a lady in a car in front of me just stopped her car in the middle of the street, jumped out and ran into the Post Office. Only in America! Let me know if that's doable and you can get away for a lunch there.
    Mike

    I know the place
    Next time your here just give me a call I will pm my cell for you okay....

    Beth
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465 Member
    fighting
    One of the most important things about fighting cancer is having a support system. Mine was my husband, thank God you are right there for her and the kids. Sounds like she is doing good with her treatments. I'm saying prayers for your family. God bless.
  • Sandi1
    Sandi1 Member Posts: 277
    Hi Beth
    Hi Beth,

    Just let me start out by saying, welcome to this board. I would have been a total wreck if it hadn't been for this board. In August of 2008 my husband was also diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer, after many months of him complaining about being constipated, then diareah, then constipation, then bleeding I begged him to go to the doctor - he still waited 6 months before he went, I don't think he realized how bad it was until we were in Aruba on vacation and we had to spend and entire day in the room because he was in the bathroom, this was the first time the toilet filled with blood.When we got back from Aruba, i begged him to go to the doctor, the doctor said it's probably just hemroids, don't worry. In August, after he spent most of the summer running to the bathroom and complaining that he has to go, but there is nothing there, I begged him to go to the doctor, again they said it's probably just hemroids, but said lets send you for a colonscopy just in case. Colonscopy day came, and while he was in having the procedure, people came and went from the clinic, some came in after my husband and left before my husband came out - I started to get a weird feeling that something was going on. Soon after that, the nurse came out and got me - they took me in through the back where they do the procedures to a small room where my husband was waiting for me. They left us alone for awhile, where he proceeded to tell me what they found - I have to say, I can't say i'm shocked, but more scared. Both of my parents died from cancer and I had watched both of them suffer through it, so I knew what to expect. What I didn't expect, was that treatments have changed so very much since both my parents died. My husand now being almost a year into this, has beat the cancer and is NED (no evidence of disease). He kept a positive outlook at all times, he just acted like he didn't have cancer and still did the things he loves, but always did what the doctor told him. He also did not lose his hair, it just thinned out. As soon as he had surgery and started chemo, he stopped losing weight and has steadly been gaining weight throughout his treatments. He is now on maintenance chemo, which he will be on for the rest of his life. But it is a small price to pay to have him around for many more years. All I can say is, always stay positive, always be supportative, always be there. Did I mention that his cancer has also spread to his liver and lungs - all the tumors are gone now. We too have 5 children that we are raising - but his four live with their mother and seems like they could care less what happens to him, but for my son, this is the only father he has ever known (even though it's not his real father) he can't do enough for him.

    So, never give up hope and always fight the good fight it's worth it. If you ever need to talk or just need to get something off of your chest, do not hesitate to write me.

    Sandi
  • Lostnaz99
    Lostnaz99 Member Posts: 4
    Sandi1 said:

    Hi Beth
    Hi Beth,

    Just let me start out by saying, welcome to this board. I would have been a total wreck if it hadn't been for this board. In August of 2008 my husband was also diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer, after many months of him complaining about being constipated, then diareah, then constipation, then bleeding I begged him to go to the doctor - he still waited 6 months before he went, I don't think he realized how bad it was until we were in Aruba on vacation and we had to spend and entire day in the room because he was in the bathroom, this was the first time the toilet filled with blood.When we got back from Aruba, i begged him to go to the doctor, the doctor said it's probably just hemroids, don't worry. In August, after he spent most of the summer running to the bathroom and complaining that he has to go, but there is nothing there, I begged him to go to the doctor, again they said it's probably just hemroids, but said lets send you for a colonscopy just in case. Colonscopy day came, and while he was in having the procedure, people came and went from the clinic, some came in after my husband and left before my husband came out - I started to get a weird feeling that something was going on. Soon after that, the nurse came out and got me - they took me in through the back where they do the procedures to a small room where my husband was waiting for me. They left us alone for awhile, where he proceeded to tell me what they found - I have to say, I can't say i'm shocked, but more scared. Both of my parents died from cancer and I had watched both of them suffer through it, so I knew what to expect. What I didn't expect, was that treatments have changed so very much since both my parents died. My husand now being almost a year into this, has beat the cancer and is NED (no evidence of disease). He kept a positive outlook at all times, he just acted like he didn't have cancer and still did the things he loves, but always did what the doctor told him. He also did not lose his hair, it just thinned out. As soon as he had surgery and started chemo, he stopped losing weight and has steadly been gaining weight throughout his treatments. He is now on maintenance chemo, which he will be on for the rest of his life. But it is a small price to pay to have him around for many more years. All I can say is, always stay positive, always be supportative, always be there. Did I mention that his cancer has also spread to his liver and lungs - all the tumors are gone now. We too have 5 children that we are raising - but his four live with their mother and seems like they could care less what happens to him, but for my son, this is the only father he has ever known (even though it's not his real father) he can't do enough for him.

    So, never give up hope and always fight the good fight it's worth it. If you ever need to talk or just need to get something off of your chest, do not hesitate to write me.

    Sandi

    Wow
    Its like you know exactly what I am feeling.... I am grateful for all the posts. I thank you. Monday is our son's birthday and I think last year I had to work....this year is about family. Well its still about work lol, its definitely not about sleep thats for sure. =)

    Everyone have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!! And thank you again. I will be on more often to read all that you have to write about!