I know chemo is helping me but...

Mrs. Kirby..I have no
Mrs. Kirby..I have no experience with this.. but I know there are people on here who have and will be able to relate to your experience. Please hang in there... and your not being a baby!!! Not even close.. I know that our warrior sisters will be arriving soon to help you through this.. In the mean time.. wishing you the very best.

~T

Mrs Kirby, you're not alone
Chemo made me feel the same way. I also had eight treatments and it seemed like an eternity. Now, that is part of my past (3 years this year) I realize that it really was a relatively short time when you consider you have the rest of your life ahead of you.

You may side effects (it's a good thing that your nausea is under control). Your taste buds may change, and things that you once loved will not appeal to you any more. For some of these foods, it took me about a year to regain my enjoyment in eating them. The "unclean" feeling is normal, too. I know it's hard to believe it now, but this too will pass.

When I was really down about how I felt about myself, I went to an ACS program called, "Look Good, Feel Better," and it really did make me feel better about myself. Also, I found a very nice wig (insurance covered it) and that made me feel better, too. I actually bought two, so I could wash one and wear the other one.

Though the cancer, and now the chemo, seems to have taken control, remember it is only temporary and it's physical. If you can maintain your inner strengh (and this site is remarkable) then that's more than half the battle. The physical challenges will pass.

dmc

That feeling
Mrs. Kirby, I totally understand the feeling. It's like a chemically nasty aftertaste type of thing, isn't it? I had it, too. It's only natural when they're pumping very strong drugs into your body. Maybe you could think about it like this: the chemo is acting like a disinfectant in your body, cleaning out any stray cancer cells, making it shiny and new. That feeling goes away very quickly after chemo ends. It started to fade for me the moment I got up from the chemo chair for the last time.

Mimi

I agree
I agree with what the others have said. I did not have the same feeling, but I have read several posts here about some who have. I think it is just one of the side effects. Try to think of it as a disinfectant. I read a post where the writer compared the chemo to fire burning out all the cancer cells, like turning on the self-cleaning cycle on the oven...it gets super hot, but everything is clean in the end.

Just think...this too shall pass. seof.

MrsKirby said:

Thank you T
You were so right, help has arrived! Thank you for validating my feelings. I've been feeling like I was ungrateful for the help chemo was providing, but I at the same time I feel what I feel.

Your picture of the gorgeous baby really makes me smile and lifts my spirits! What a beautiful reminder of the good things in life. You are surely blessed :0)

Thank you Mrs. Kirby.. that
Thank you Mrs. Kirby.. that is my grandson.. and I put his picture up to remind us of the "good stuff"... because there is a lot of it around us.. even if sometimes we have to look really hard for it..

Best wishes...

hang in there.

~T

dmc_emmy said:

And we will celebrate with you
Mrs Kirby,

That's funny that you should say that it will be as though you are graduating again. When I finished chemo, the nurses through a graduation party with streamers and confetti. I think we even had horn blowers...I can't remember. I don't seem to remember much about that time (that's probably a blessing), but I do remember the picnics. Now, those were good! I always love a good picnic!
dmc

Picnics...I did tell you about the picnics didn't I?
Mrs Kirby,
My friend and driver who took me to chemo shared a picnic lunch that I packed for the day. We had a great time, until I fell asleep on her. Even a bad thing can be made good if you think about it long and hard enough. Besides, I figured that I better eat while at chemo, because when I arrived back home I wouldn't be able to eat a thing without getting sick.

A picnic is good anytime, and having a friend to share it with you makes it all the better. You'll make it through. We're all rooting for you.
dmc

MrsKirby said:

Yes, it is
Yes, it is like a chemical aftertaste, throughout my entire body. I know that I need to think about it differently, and you are right, it is cleaning me not poisioning me. Most of all it made me feel good to hear that the feeling goes away quickly, I look forward to the last treatment as if it were graduating all over again. I will think of your words as I go through this and especially at the last treatment! Thanks :0)

It sounds like once you are
It sounds like once you are finished with chemo, Mrs Kirby, that you will lose that taste. And, your body will start to heal and you will feel better. I know chemo is hard, but, you can get thru it! Good Luck!

What you've shared is not
What you've shared is not silly in the least. I must agree with Tasha though, Mrs Kirby. A spade being a spade, chemo is a poison and there's no getting round that one. During my chemo, I too had that taste and that feeling. I showered many times daily, actually. LOL Not that it helped a lot. Also on target with Tasha, the chemo can damage healthy cells as well as cancer cells. Thus the nausea, vomiting, taste buds out of kilter rendering our favorite dishes and drinks suddenly repulsive to us...
perspiring, constipation, diarrhea, rashes, baldness, watering eyes, dry eyes, dry throats, too hot, too cold, you name it. It's the body's reaction to the insult of chemo. Natural and expected reactions, but I'm also in agreement on thanking goodness for the anti-nausea meds!

I found that once I got my attitude aligned with what I was doing and why I had chosen to do it, I fared pretty well. I made the decision to have chemo...no one forced me...and while I didn't want to have it at ALL costs, I was determined to get through it with the least cost possible. Emotionally as well as physically. So, I focused my energies into that goal. Evenso, I had my down times and as everyone else has suggested here, it's just part of the journey and this too shall pass. Occasional crying jags, feeling like staying in bed all day. It's all ok, as long as you can rebound. One way or another, it will pass, even if that means getting pharmaceutical help from your oncologist, seeing a therapist, spiritual leader...whatever it takes, is worth the effort and time invested, because this is your life and it need not come to a crawl, for chemo. Ideally, we want to live as well as possible during treatment...not just "get through it". There's a wealth of tips to be found here to help make you more comfortable...things people have used which worked well for them...such as certain mouth rinses to help keep the mouth from drying out overly, certain types of eye drops...the list is long, so don't hesitate to ask here anytime you need an idea or suggestion...just always be sure to run anything you want to try past your doctor first for approval.

Just a few months from now, chemo will be behind you and you will be floating on a cloud! Trust me. You're almost done with the A/C, so onward and upward! Pssst: Onward and upward is how we get to the cloud we walk on, after treatment is finished.

Hang in there and be good to yourself.

Love, light & laughter,
Ink

inkblot said:

What you've shared is not
What you've shared is not silly in the least. I must agree with Tasha though, Mrs Kirby. A spade being a spade, chemo is a poison and there's no getting round that one. During my chemo, I too had that taste and that feeling. I showered many times daily, actually. LOL Not that it helped a lot. Also on target with Tasha, the chemo can damage healthy cells as well as cancer cells. Thus the nausea, vomiting, taste buds out of kilter rendering our favorite dishes and drinks suddenly repulsive to us...
perspiring, constipation, diarrhea, rashes, baldness, watering eyes, dry eyes, dry throats, too hot, too cold, you name it. It's the body's reaction to the insult of chemo. Natural and expected reactions, but I'm also in agreement on thanking goodness for the anti-nausea meds!

I found that once I got my attitude aligned with what I was doing and why I had chosen to do it, I fared pretty well. I made the decision to have chemo...no one forced me...and while I didn't want to have it at ALL costs, I was determined to get through it with the least cost possible. Emotionally as well as physically. So, I focused my energies into that goal. Evenso, I had my down times and as everyone else has suggested here, it's just part of the journey and this too shall pass. Occasional crying jags, feeling like staying in bed all day. It's all ok, as long as you can rebound. One way or another, it will pass, even if that means getting pharmaceutical help from your oncologist, seeing a therapist, spiritual leader...whatever it takes, is worth the effort and time invested, because this is your life and it need not come to a crawl, for chemo. Ideally, we want to live as well as possible during treatment...not just "get through it". There's a wealth of tips to be found here to help make you more comfortable...things people have used which worked well for them...such as certain mouth rinses to help keep the mouth from drying out overly, certain types of eye drops...the list is long, so don't hesitate to ask here anytime you need an idea or suggestion...just always be sure to run anything you want to try past your doctor first for approval.

Just a few months from now, chemo will be behind you and you will be floating on a cloud! Trust me. You're almost done with the A/C, so onward and upward! Pssst: Onward and upward is how we get to the cloud we walk on, after treatment is finished.

Hang in there and be good to yourself.

Love, light & laughter,
Ink

Hello,
I also did 4 rouns AC
Hello,
I also did 4 rouns AC and then I did Taxol/Herceptin every 2 weeks for 4 rounds. I always said I felt "toxic" after the AC and also was sick for a week after each time. For me I did not get the toxic feeling from the Taxol/Herceptin mix. I did not get sick either, just tired and bone pain which was bad the first time and not bad at all the next three. Hope it gets better for you.
Anyone, when does the sex drive come back?? Does the Herceptin affect it? God I hope not I still have 10 months of it.
Kim