Just not ready!!!

tonja032
tonja032 Member Posts: 10
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I recently had to have a mastectomy on my left breast. I have had two doctors appointment almost every other day, but now they tell me that I can go back to work. Although on the 11th of June I have to have a mediaport put in so that I can start my chemotheropy. I work in a prision and the doctor tells me that I can't lift no more than 20 lbs. In my line of work if there is a fight I have to respond due to it may be staff involved. I don't think that I can work and deal with the pressure there and come home to two kids ages 5 and 4, a husband that works 12 hours and deal with the Cancer and the treatment. The Cancer took me for a loop and a half, because I never thought that I would get it. I am very emotional right now. I am not trying to make excuses for this but I don't think that I am ready for the pressure at work> NEED HELP, ANY SUGGESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #2
    Are You Kidding???
    The first thing that comes to mind for me is Family Medical Leave...or temporary disability. It seems to me that right now is NO time to be going back to work! Perhaps if you were a meter reader, but from what you described, I don't think that's the case!

    Why are your Drs. saying you are work-ready? Especially with the restrictions they have imposed AND I imagine they know where you work??? And what your responsibilities are?

    My sisters here will probably have good advice for you~ hang in there!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #3
    Geez oh man Tonja............
    I agree with Claudia. Have you looked into disability or medical leave? How can you possibly be ready to go back to work at a job like that?

    It takes a while to heal from a mastectomy....both physically and emotionally. And just dealing with "I have cancer" is no small feat either!

    Caring for two small children (although I know that you adore them) is a job in itself, so I'm thinking that work, on top of hubby, on top of youngsters, on top of cancer is just waaay to much to expect from you right now. You need to heal first and catch your breath.

    Hugs for yoy,

    CR
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #4
    no no no
    Good grief, my brother and nephew are both officers and you have to be in tip top shape just in case you will not be in that kind of shape while on chemo and certainly not right after a mastectomy. What on earth are these docs thinking. I worked in a bank at a desk and I went on temporary disability for 10 months. This certainly is something you should look into, please keep us posted and let us know how you are doing, we are here for you!!!

    HUGS,

    RE
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #5
    tonja.....my nickle's worth here
    First of all...if you have been employed for 1 year at your job & they employe at least 50 employees then you qualify for 3 months Family Medical Leave. You will not be paid for this leave unless you have sick pay coming or you have a disability income insurance policy. The leave only insures that your employer must hold your job for you providing you return when the leave is over. Check with HR for paperwork to fill out. Also if your working for the city, county or state, you should quality for temporary disability or light duty when you do go back. I would also talk to your PCP. Since there are so many people involved with my care, my PCP is handling all the paperwork for me so it is filed & coming only from one source. He put me off work initally for 6 months off the bat when he got the news and said we will see how I am doing in November. If I am ready to go back...great, if not....we'll take some more time off. This is your life and you owe it to yourself to do all you can to take care of it!!! Also, contact your local ACS and they will be of further assistance to you. Hope this helped some and good luck. I know you have alot on your mind but just do this one step at a time & you will be ok. :) Pammy
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #6
    you have
    You have already gotten some good advice, but an idea might be to ask your employer if there is some lighter work you can do temporarily until you get back on your feet, or see if you could trade off with someone until the Dr. says its OK to go back to your regular duties. I would certainly think it would not be wise to keep on with your current responsibilities. Not only because of surgery and needing time to recover from that, but also the possibility that chemo might make you feel weak and ill, and it might make you more suceptible to infection/catching whatever may be going around. Defintely talk to your Dr. and employer and make sure you know what your options are.

    Take care of yourself, seof.
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #7
    I don't think you're ready for work either...
    And am wondering about your doctors thinking you are. There have already been good suggestions posted here...

    There are many different types of chemo. Some patients can work, some not at all - depending on the drugs themselves, and because each person reacts to them differently.

    I can only suggest that you talk further with your doctors, and be sure to discuss everything with your employer. There are other options for you, I'm sure.

    With best wishes, and...

    Kind regards, Susan
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #8
    Christmas Girl said:

    I don't think you're ready for work either...
    And am wondering about your doctors thinking you are. There have already been good suggestions posted here...

    There are many different types of chemo. Some patients can work, some not at all - depending on the drugs themselves, and because each person reacts to them differently.

    I can only suggest that you talk further with your doctors, and be sure to discuss everything with your employer. There are other options for you, I'm sure.

    With best wishes, and...

    Kind regards, Susan

    well Tonja
    If you do go back
    well Tonja
    If you do go back make it clear to the supervisor that you can only do desk work right now...
    leave the physical stuff to your coworkers.
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #9
    Christmas Girl said:

    I don't think you're ready for work either...
    And am wondering about your doctors thinking you are. There have already been good suggestions posted here...

    There are many different types of chemo. Some patients can work, some not at all - depending on the drugs themselves, and because each person reacts to them differently.

    I can only suggest that you talk further with your doctors, and be sure to discuss everything with your employer. There are other options for you, I'm sure.

    With best wishes, and...

    Kind regards, Susan

    well Tonja
    If you do go back
    well Tonja
    If you do go back make it clear to the supervisor that you can only do desk work right now...
    leave the physical stuff to your coworkers.
  • tonja032
    tonja032 Member Posts: 10
    #10
    chenheart said:

    Are You Kidding???
    The first thing that comes to mind for me is Family Medical Leave...or temporary disability. It seems to me that right now is NO time to be going back to work! Perhaps if you were a meter reader, but from what you described, I don't think that's the case!

    Why are your Drs. saying you are work-ready? Especially with the restrictions they have imposed AND I imagine they know where you work??? And what your responsibilities are?

    My sisters here will probably have good advice for you~ hang in there!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Claudia,
    Thanks for
    Claudia,
    Thanks for the advise. I just came back to work on January 7, 2009 after being out of work for 8 moths due to a hysterectomy and then going back to have an ovary taken out. Then in March I have a physical only to find out that there is a lump in my breast. Then in April to find out that it is Cancer. So with all of that said All of my time and family Medical leave was exhausted. My family medical leave does'nt start again til the 24th of June. The Doctors are saying that I'm ready cause I'm healing up really well. THen I have my Oncologist stating that I have to heal a bit more but will not write a note for me not to work because she says that "she is not treating me right now" but is seeing me to discuss treatment options. Is'nt that a crock!
    They now where I work and what I do but still say dont lift no more than 20 lbs, no contact with inmates. That is my job. Only amount of space between them and me are 3ft of personal space and no more (arms length) if there is a fight in my area then I have to do something i just can't stand there due to staff may be involoved.
    n
  • tonja032
    tonja032 Member Posts: 10
    #11
    CR1954 said:

    Geez oh man Tonja............
    I agree with Claudia. Have you looked into disability or medical leave? How can you possibly be ready to go back to work at a job like that?

    It takes a while to heal from a mastectomy....both physically and emotionally. And just dealing with "I have cancer" is no small feat either!

    Caring for two small children (although I know that you adore them) is a job in itself, so I'm thinking that work, on top of hubby, on top of youngsters, on top of cancer is just waaay to much to expect from you right now. You need to heal first and catch your breath.

    Hugs for yoy,

    CR

    CR,
    I did and my FMLA
    CR,
    I did and my FMLA does'nt start til June 24. As for Disablity I have filed the paper work.
    YOu know that I find myself crying when noone is around thinking "Why me?", But then "Why not me?" I know that things happen for a reason. I just never this would have happened to me.
  • tonja032
    tonja032 Member Posts: 10
    #12
    RE said:

    no no no
    Good grief, my brother and nephew are both officers and you have to be in tip top shape just in case you will not be in that kind of shape while on chemo and certainly not right after a mastectomy. What on earth are these docs thinking. I worked in a bank at a desk and I went on temporary disability for 10 months. This certainly is something you should look into, please keep us posted and let us know how you are doing, we are here for you!!!

    HUGS,

    RE

    RE
    Thanks for the support. Your right you do have to be in shape for this. I was told that there is no light duty. It is either you can work or not.
  • tonja032
    tonja032 Member Posts: 10
    #13
    Akiss4me said:

    tonja.....my nickle's worth here
    First of all...if you have been employed for 1 year at your job & they employe at least 50 employees then you qualify for 3 months Family Medical Leave. You will not be paid for this leave unless you have sick pay coming or you have a disability income insurance policy. The leave only insures that your employer must hold your job for you providing you return when the leave is over. Check with HR for paperwork to fill out. Also if your working for the city, county or state, you should quality for temporary disability or light duty when you do go back. I would also talk to your PCP. Since there are so many people involved with my care, my PCP is handling all the paperwork for me so it is filed & coming only from one source. He put me off work initally for 6 months off the bat when he got the news and said we will see how I am doing in November. If I am ready to go back...great, if not....we'll take some more time off. This is your life and you owe it to yourself to do all you can to take care of it!!! Also, contact your local ACS and they will be of further assistance to you. Hope this helped some and good luck. I know you have alot on your mind but just do this one step at a time & you will be ok. :) Pammy

    Thank You for your help.
    Thank You for your help. Sometimes I just don't know whether i'm coming or going at this point.
  • dbs1673
    dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
    #14
    dyaneb123 said:

    well Tonja
    If you do go back
    well Tonja
    If you do go back make it clear to the supervisor that you can only do desk work right now...
    leave the physical stuff to your coworkers.

    keep fighting
    Tonja you are so smart to be listening to your mind and body right now and know this is not the time to return. Don't loose your instincts. Do you work for a county or state prison? Either way, I guessing you are part of a union. Talk to your rep. I work in a county system (PA) and we have in addition to FMLA, catastrophic leave meaning your human resources department can put out a notice requesting people to donate their vacation time to you. 8 hours from some employess here and there can really help get you over the hump. Hope you find the right option.

    dawn
  • jeffjanet
    jeffjanet Member Posts: 1
    #15
    advise
    I had a mascetomy on my right breast and all my lympnods removed and was told that i can't lift over 20 pounds. I took a medical leave of absence for 2 months for surgery and to do chemo I wanted to see if I could work while on chemo treatments. I couldn't do it I was tiered alotand I was so afraid that i would forget and lift things I do it now thank god my hubby and family watch me like a hawk to make sure i don't lift . I ended up filling for disability.check with your work take a medical leave of absence.that way u can see how u are going to feel then u can decide what would be best for u.
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #16
    Working
    Tonja, others here have given good advice. The only suggestion I can add is that you might contact the ACS. There are advocates who assist with work-related matters.

    I am so sorry you have to deal with this work dilemma as well as everything else. My best to you.
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #17
    Just as an FYI, January 1,
    Just as an FYI, January 1, 2009 congress passed a new section on the disabilities act. Cancer has been classified as a disability and therefore your employer must make reasonable accomodations for you. I am pasting a the following link... It has a lot of information on this topic. Even if your doctor says your ready to return to work, the stress (emotional) of the cancer, is part of having it, had it, being treated or have been treated for. Check it out I am sure you may find it helpful. Just copy and paste it to your browser.

    Good Luck..

    ~T
    http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/cancer.html
  • tonja032
    tonja032 Member Posts: 10
    #18
    dbs1673 said:

    keep fighting
    Tonja you are so smart to be listening to your mind and body right now and know this is not the time to return. Don't loose your instincts. Do you work for a county or state prison? Either way, I guessing you are part of a union. Talk to your rep. I work in a county system (PA) and we have in addition to FMLA, catastrophic leave meaning your human resources department can put out a notice requesting people to donate their vacation time to you. 8 hours from some employess here and there can really help get you over the hump. Hope you find the right option.

    dawn

    I did file for FMLA and the
    I did file for FMLA and the we voluntary share leave (it is the same thing as the catastrophic leave). Thanks
  • tonja032
    tonja032 Member Posts: 10
    #19
    jeffjanet said:

    advise
    I had a mascetomy on my right breast and all my lympnods removed and was told that i can't lift over 20 pounds. I took a medical leave of absence for 2 months for surgery and to do chemo I wanted to see if I could work while on chemo treatments. I couldn't do it I was tiered alotand I was so afraid that i would forget and lift things I do it now thank god my hubby and family watch me like a hawk to make sure i don't lift . I ended up filling for disability.check with your work take a medical leave of absence.that way u can see how u are going to feel then u can decide what would be best for u.

    I talked to the Human
    I talked to the Human resources again yesterday and they said that I'm good for now it is just that the Doctor's need to just go ahead and take me instead of here and there but as long as I go the the doctor just get a doctors note and I'm covered.
  • tonja032
    tonja032 Member Posts: 10
    #20
    Moopy23 said:

    Working
    Tonja, others here have given good advice. The only suggestion I can add is that you might contact the ACS. There are advocates who assist with work-related matters.

    I am so sorry you have to deal with this work dilemma as well as everything else. My best to you.

    Moopy23
    They were the first that I contacted and they gave some good advise and who to contact and just make sure that I write everything down just in case.
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #21
    jeffjanet said:

    advise
    I had a mascetomy on my right breast and all my lympnods removed and was told that i can't lift over 20 pounds. I took a medical leave of absence for 2 months for surgery and to do chemo I wanted to see if I could work while on chemo treatments. I couldn't do it I was tiered alotand I was so afraid that i would forget and lift things I do it now thank god my hubby and family watch me like a hawk to make sure i don't lift . I ended up filling for disability.check with your work take a medical leave of absence.that way u can see how u are going to feel then u can decide what would be best for u.

    Welcome jeffjanet.......
    LOL, you slipped in under my radar, or I would have said welcome to you sooner!

    Glad you found us!

    CR

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