Message for Kourtnee/joggergirl

You said you are sorry ...

I'm sorry too ... that this has all turned out the way it has. Margo (and I am going to trust that that IS your name) ... I don't think you realize how many people were totally engrossed in the "Kourtnee posts" the past few days. You have no idea how many people were with "you" every minute ... every second of your very sad journey. People were hoping and praying ... (as well as many prayer circles) that the story would have a happy ending. People were losing sleep because of their concern for Kourtnee and her dear friend Melody. It was consuming our thoughts and valuable energy ... which could/should have been used for their own health issues. Fighting cancer.

I know there are several very angry people posting on the sight ... and they are saying some very harsh things about what has happened. However ... the majority of us are still very concerned... and believe it or not ... we still care about you.

What has transpired over the past few days regarding "Kourtnee" has just about drained many of us. We are kind and concerned women who want/need to be there for each other. When we read about a young woman going through all of the cancer dianosis ... alone ... we immediately pulled her into our hearts and minds and she immediately became a very important part of our family. We wanted to do all we could to help and support her. As the "story" continued last week ... it was as though we were losing a close family member ... and yet we were so helpless. All we could do was write "Kourtnee/Melody" and share our words love and support.

I must admit that as the "drama" continued in the posts from the "hospital" many of us were becomming quite skeptical although we continued to share our love and support because we would never have been able live with ourselves if the "drama" was indeed true. We trusted ... and hoped and prayed. Eventually several people really started putting two and two together and it became more difficult to find truth in was Kourtnee/Melody posted... but "just in case it WAS true" ... we were still hoping and praying for a good outcome.

On a personal note ... I will have to admit that right now I do not know what to believe. I want desperatly to believe that you are a healthy young woman ... however I also believe that that young woman might somehow just be attemping to get attention by drawing on the emotions of others. Although I'd like to think someone hacked into your computer and your mother wrote those posts ... in my heart I really don't think so. That was the writing of someone desperatly wanting attention. To satisify a psychological need ... or to play a sick and cruel joke. I truly hope it was not done as a cruel hoax. I truly hope it was not meant to prey on the emotions of vulnerable, loving women. So ... that leaves the psychological need. I know you have been posting apologies all over the board ... and maybe that helps a little. To at least admit that you feel regret about the pain it has caused (no matter who wrote the posts)is a tiny little step in healing the wounds caused by this drama ... it has caused pain. It has created trust issues in woman who desperatly need to trust. We need to trust our doctors, medical science ... and ourselves as we fight cancer. After last week, it has caused many of us to question our own judgement. Who can we trust?

We thought we knew you. But now ... we don't know who you are. We are even having serious doubts about whether you have ever had cancer ... or might instead just be "impersonating" someone with cancer to get sympathy from others. If that is the case ... please stop. While you may not be sick with cancer ... you are sick. You need psychological help and I honestly hope you get some. If you are going to a counselor as some of your posts indicated ... I hope you will "come out" to them and admit that you really do need help to overcome this desperate need for attention. It is hurting so many innocent people ... and it is also hurting you. You are putting so much energy in trying to get love and attention by being someone else ... that you should be spending on finding out who you really are. Once you find out who you really are ... and accept that ... then you can share that "real you" with others and you will be amazed at how many people will learn to love and accept the new and improved you. The real you. The honest you.

I do hope that part of the story about your mother is totally ficticious. I hope you really do have a supportive family. However, if your family is aware of your "creative mind" they no doubt disapprove and no doubt have tried to get help for you. If that is the case ... it is no wonder you might be estranged from them. Like many of us ... they care ... but they have enormous trust issues.

Well ... I've said what I needed to say ... except that I honestly do care about you. While I really doubt that you ever shared much of the "real you" ... I still care. You are a young woman who has needs ... although I do not approve of your methods. I do hope you get the help you need. You are still young and no doubt have great gifts to share with others ... however ... you need to know who you are before others can really appreciate those gifts.

If this was just something you consider a "harmless" plea for attention ... please, please stop. Please get help.

As I said ... I still care about you ... and am concerned about you. Please take care of yourself ... but do not hurt others along the way.

love,
teena