Never felt so alone...

MollysGma
Hi and welcome, a lot of best friends don't know how to deal with a cancer diagnosis (I found this out the hard way). My husband was less than useless.. But I found a few new friends who were not scared of me and my DX, also hung onto a few old ones. My friends list changes every year; People who I would have expected to stick by me Bogged off and people who I didn't really have that much affinity with, supported me. Hey, you never can tell, just don't take it personally, It is their problem, Not yours. HUGE HUGS Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Welcome Joyce, so sorry you
Welcome Joyce, so sorry you have to join our club, but I hope you find all that you need here.
The women are intelligent, courageous and wise and will support you all the way. It's a shame about your friend, but you know, you'll probably make better friends along the way. Hope all goes well with your tx.
love
jan

Welcome to the club
Lots of experience to benefit from here. My guess is that every question or problem you have, someone here has had the same question or problem, and someone (MANY someones!) will be able to offer advice, commiserate, listen, or sympathize.

Lisa

Hi Molly and welcome. I had
Hi Molly and welcome. I had two best friends to dissappear when I was dx. One of them came back long after I had finished treatment acting like nothing had ever happened. Not even asking me about dx, treatment or anything. Guess she found out that I wasn't contageous. I guess I scared the other one completely off.

Take care of your skin while doing rads. Get lots of rest so you can play with Molly.

Hugs
Jadie

good
It is good that you are reaching out.

My friend who is nearly finished with treatments went through many months where I was her only support, on the phone. I live in another city. I kept encouraging her to reach out where she was, not to replace me but to find a friend who'd been through bc.

I think this forum will be helpful for you.

Hi Joyce, So glad that that
Hi Joyce, So glad that that you have found this site. Like some of the others, I did not find it till after my treatment. Treatment would have been a lot less scarier if I had been able to chat with evetyone here.

Please feel comfortable to voice your fears and concerns here. Everyone is very kind and supportive. I feel lucky to have such wonderful friends here. You now have a huge support system here and can come here day and night. Welcome and God bless. Eil

sorry you feal so along.
sorry you feal so along. hug to you just letting you no you will be in a circle of love in here. we all care about you and your hugs and love coming to u.

Hi from another Grandma
Hi Joyce. I just read your "about me" page and it was almost like reading MY "about me" page. Your age is given between 60-69 ... and I just turned 65 two weeks ago. I had my lumpectomy on 1/21 and thought all I'd need was radiation ... but one of the lab results came back HER2+ so my oncologist told me I really needed to have chemo. I honestly couldn't believe what he was telling me. I have always considered myself to be the BIGGEST chicken on earth and totally terrified of ALL needles! The word "chemo" was the last word I ever wanted to hear because I was positive I could NEVER in a million years do "it."

Then ... I found this website and it's been a blessing. Somehow by reading the questions/answers/comments ... and asking questions of my own ... I realized somehow ... that if these women can go through what they've gone through ... I CAN do "it." After all ... I am one of the "lucky" ones ... no mastectomy. I just had a small lump removed and needed some medicine to keep "it" from coming back. Once I made the decision I could do chemo ... I really fought the idea of having a port "installed" ... but again ... after reading what's on the website about ports ... I realized I could do THAT too. And ... I did. I had my port installed on March 6th and had my first chemo on the 13th. The folks at the oncologist's office couldn't figure out why I was so insistant that I start my chemo on Friday the 13th ... but when I told them it was my BIRTHday totally understood.

The port "installation" was much easier than I thought and the first week it just felt "strange" but now ... I don't even notice it being there. My first chemo was not bad at all. I wasn't sure what to expect ... but a few people on this website suggested EMLA cream to numb the port area so I wouldn't feel the needle go in and that has helped a LOT. I also take a xanax before my appointment. And I have had zero side effects. Zero. When I get home from chemo I take an anti-nausea pill (just in case) ... then I take 2 the next day just to be sure. No nausea! In fact ... last week was a breeze. I slept through 99% of the treatment. :-) Between the benedryl drip (and my xanax) and the relaxation CD I had going through my earphones ... I just pulled the blankets up ... and I was snoozing away in no time... and woke up very rested. :-)

You say you feel alone and I do understand that feeling. I've been divorced for 1000 years and live alone (with my 2 cats) and I wasn't sure I could make it on this "journey" alone ... but this website has given me many new friends who know what I'm thinking and feeling and they are all there for me. It's like hundreds of hugs through the computer. It's amazing. These are strong people and it is truly a gift that they share that strength with others.

We are all here ... and you are NOT alone. We're all here for you ... and with you on your journey.

Hugs,
Teena

divablu said:

You're Not Alone ...
I'm finishing radiation for Stage IIIB ... mastectomy/lumptectomy ... I understand the feeling of being alone during the bc journey. My husband has been very strong, tolerant and supportive through all this. But he and I have been an island dealing with the cancer and all the other stuff life throws at you.

Here's another web site that the cancer center social worker gave to me ... www.networkofstrength.org. Check it out if you like.

You're not alone. But I understand that it sure feels like that sometimes. Good that you have reached out to this group, now try to reach out to other people in your area. I called a friend of mine last night and apologized for not keeping in better touch. I get depressed about all this, and I had been crying a lot, and choose not to talk with people. Well, my friend, Bev, reminded me it is OK to reach out, and that being around other people helps to take your mind off your own situation.

I'm sure that are some people out there who would love to hear from you.

welcome
Hi Joyce,
This is a time where nothing yet everything is normal. How we react, how our friends react can all be "explained" yet our feelings don't change. Some people seem to know just the right thing to say (or not say) others just fade into the background. As the saying goes when one door is closed another one opens. This is the site where all the doors and windows are open!! When I started radiation I had a chain of paper clips for each day with a bright colored one at the end. Each morning when I got into work after my treatment, I removed one of those clips. Having something to visualize helped me. May rest and peace come to you soon.

dawn