Never felt so alone...
Comments
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What is EMLA cream ?tgf said:Hi from another Grandma
Hi Joyce. I just read your "about me" page and it was almost like reading MY "about me" page. Your age is given between 60-69 ... and I just turned 65 two weeks ago. I had my lumpectomy on 1/21 and thought all I'd need was radiation ... but one of the lab results came back HER2+ so my oncologist told me I really needed to have chemo. I honestly couldn't believe what he was telling me. I have always considered myself to be the BIGGEST chicken on earth and totally terrified of ALL needles! The word "chemo" was the last word I ever wanted to hear because I was positive I could NEVER in a million years do "it."
Then ... I found this website and it's been a blessing. Somehow by reading the questions/answers/comments ... and asking questions of my own ... I realized somehow ... that if these women can go through what they've gone through ... I CAN do "it." After all ... I am one of the "lucky" ones ... no mastectomy. I just had a small lump removed and needed some medicine to keep "it" from coming back. Once I made the decision I could do chemo ... I really fought the idea of having a port "installed" ... but again ... after reading what's on the website about ports ... I realized I could do THAT too. And ... I did. I had my port installed on March 6th and had my first chemo on the 13th. The folks at the oncologist's office couldn't figure out why I was so insistant that I start my chemo on Friday the 13th ... but when I told them it was my BIRTHday totally understood.
The port "installation" was much easier than I thought and the first week it just felt "strange" but now ... I don't even notice it being there. My first chemo was not bad at all. I wasn't sure what to expect ... but a few people on this website suggested EMLA cream to numb the port area so I wouldn't feel the needle go in and that has helped a LOT. I also take a xanax before my appointment. And I have had zero side effects. Zero. When I get home from chemo I take an anti-nausea pill (just in case) ... then I take 2 the next day just to be sure. No nausea! In fact ... last week was a breeze. I slept through 99% of the treatment. :-) Between the benedryl drip (and my xanax) and the relaxation CD I had going through my earphones ... I just pulled the blankets up ... and I was snoozing away in no time... and woke up very rested. :-)
You say you feel alone and I do understand that feeling. I've been divorced for 1000 years and live alone (with my 2 cats) and I wasn't sure I could make it on this "journey" alone ... but this website has given me many new friends who know what I'm thinking and feeling and they are all there for me. It's like hundreds of hugs through the computer. It's amazing. These are strong people and it is truly a gift that they share that strength with others.
We are all here ... and you are NOT alone. We're all here for you ... and with you on your journey.
Hugs,
Teena
It sounds like you're doing everything my doctor wants me to, but I'm so afraid of the meds! What is EMLA cream and do you need a prescription or ask the doctor for it or what? If I don't do the chemo then I'll be on hormones for five years, if I can tolerate them, but the chemo isn't as long term. Still confused and scared though. Already on Xanax. Not that helpful since I've taken it a long time already. Thanks for your reply, I really appreaciate it.
MollysGma Joyce0 -
You are all such warriors here...mmontero38 said:Welcome Joyce
Welcome Joyce, so glad you found us. I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in June 2007. Had a mastectomy, lymph nodes were clean but still had to go through 8 rounds of chemo because they found some cancer cells in the blood vessels in the breast. I found this site right after I finished my treatment and would have loved to have found it before because I learned so much from my fellow warriors. We hope we can give you support and you are not alone in this journey. We are walking with you every step of the way. It's hard for some people to accept a cancer diagnosis. It almost feels like it will happen to someone else and not to us or someone close to us, so I can imagine your friend is having a hard time coming to grips because it hit closer to home than she is comfortable with. We are all here for you so post often and thanks for making us your friend. Hugs, Lili
I feel like such a "wuss" compared to so many of you that have gone through so much more than I have. I do feel like I've come to the right place. It's been hard for me to accept my DX because of all my other problems healthwise. The first few months seemed to go fast and now it's kind of all caught up to me. Today was my 22nd out of 33 radiation treatments. Feel like falling asleep, then can't sleep at night. VERY tired, red, burned, but dealing with it best I can. Thanks for the support.
MollysGma Joyce0 -
Welcome Molly!MollysGma said:I want to give a BIG THANK YOU to everyone here!
Thank you so much for all the kind words and support. I can't believe how accepted I feel! It's a first for me and I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. Getting the computer keys all wet, too. I hope to be able to be as strong and supportive as you all are. I just don't know what to say to everyone except THANK YOU!! MollysGma Joyce
Molly, call the American Cancer Society. They have lots of people or the numbers of people you can talk to...24 hours a day. And, they really do help. Also, join the support group at your hospital or clinic. They know what you are going thru and you can all help each other. Just take it easy..rest and stay strong!0 -
EMLAMollysGma said:What is EMLA cream ?
It sounds like you're doing everything my doctor wants me to, but I'm so afraid of the meds! What is EMLA cream and do you need a prescription or ask the doctor for it or what? If I don't do the chemo then I'll be on hormones for five years, if I can tolerate them, but the chemo isn't as long term. Still confused and scared though. Already on Xanax. Not that helpful since I've taken it a long time already. Thanks for your reply, I really appreaciate it.
MollysGma Joyce
EMLA is a topical numbing cream that is put on about an hour before chemo ( if yo have a port, that is!) covered with a bandage, and presto-the needle stick doesn't hurt for chemo or blood draws! It is a prescription med; I didn't even know about EMLA, but had a freezing spray of ethyl alcohol a few seconds prior to my infusions. Those here on the boards who did know and use EMLA swear by it~ ask your Dr!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Hiya Joyce! I added you
Hiya Joyce! I added you right back! By the way, the only reason I could ever sound like a warrior is because I am about one year away from treatment. During treatment I was a total wus. Cried, despaired, tried everything I could think of to make the trouble go away. And during that time I WAS a warrior (even if I didn't sound like one) because that is what being a warrior looks like. Taking it all without a tear or fear is what being a robot looks like! I think of the 24 responses you have gotten so far they are probably from 24 warrior/wuses too. So, you know you are far from alone.
Even though it would be heaven to have the just right supporting friend who knows when to call and when to send flowers and when to listen, it is a hard role for someone to fill. But when it comes to this site, I have found the sisters easily provide just right support, there whenever I need it. You too provide it for us.
WE will get through this. Love, Joyce0 -
Warrior-WussJoycelouise said:Hiya Joyce! I added you
Hiya Joyce! I added you right back! By the way, the only reason I could ever sound like a warrior is because I am about one year away from treatment. During treatment I was a total wus. Cried, despaired, tried everything I could think of to make the trouble go away. And during that time I WAS a warrior (even if I didn't sound like one) because that is what being a warrior looks like. Taking it all without a tear or fear is what being a robot looks like! I think of the 24 responses you have gotten so far they are probably from 24 warrior/wuses too. So, you know you are far from alone.
Even though it would be heaven to have the just right supporting friend who knows when to call and when to send flowers and when to listen, it is a hard role for someone to fill. But when it comes to this site, I have found the sisters easily provide just right support, there whenever I need it. You too provide it for us.
WE will get through this. Love, Joyce
I love it!
That's what we all are--Warrior-Wuss!
I really am fighting all this CANCER stuff, becoming informed, reaching out to people, doing all the things I should--and then crumpling and crying because the coffee mugs aren't in the correct place.
Warrior-Wuss Lisa0 -
were here for you
dear Joyce, Hi my new friend. My heart went out to you when I read that you felt alone. I can relate too, but it will pass. Heres my story on that.
When I was first diagnosed, my family was horrified. (Im divorced) I was truely scared and it was too much for my mom and siblings. I think they were as scared as I was but they quickly backed off. I couldnt let my kids know or see my fear, I felt I had to be strong for them. It was a long and lonely process, but I did find comfort in God. I began to read the bible more and I ran across this story about a sick lady who chased Jesus and her faith was so strong she knew if she could just touch his robe she was be better, and she did grab Jesus robe and Jesus felt her faith and he felt the healing power going to her from him.VISUALIZE THAT FOR YOURSELF. The friend will eventually come back then its your decision to rekindle that friendship and let her know that you get it. She ran from the unknown. Were your friends. Add me to your list. Taslk to anytime sister. Im here for you. Love tami0 -
Hi to another Gramma!
Welcome, I've found reading the posts to be very comforting - it helps me know I'm not alone. Thanks for adding me to your friends - I've added you to mine. I find it hard to believe that any of the brave souls are wusses - when you reflect on all you've been through and you only broke down into tears a handful of times, I consider every last one of us brave, courageous women and yes warriors is more than appropriate.0 -
Hi Gramma Joycechili said:Hi to another Gramma!
Welcome, I've found reading the posts to be very comforting - it helps me know I'm not alone. Thanks for adding me to your friends - I've added you to mine. I find it hard to believe that any of the brave souls are wusses - when you reflect on all you've been through and you only broke down into tears a handful of times, I consider every last one of us brave, courageous women and yes warriors is more than appropriate.
Glad to meet you! I also have that alone feeling. I have no family left, all gone to cancer or just old age. I also lost many, many friends. Including my bestie. I was taking care of my Mom who had cancer at the time and she decided that she had no time to stay friends with me because she had a husband and son to look after. I never asked or expected her to help me, we were just friends. So...during my own cancer journey I found that a lot of my support came from here and my on-line friends. And I had a few friends that were unexpected...they called to check in on me. One even took me to another city for surgery. Yes, I do still feel alone at times...I have no friend that comes to visit or calls to see if I want to go shop the stores. The ones I have are there for the big stuff, but not the everyday bonding stuff. I wish also that it could be different. But I take each day as a new chance to make a new friend. Hugs to you, Cindy0 -
Joyce, I know what you mean
I too am a newcomer and have found myself in much the same situation as you describe. Yes, friends tend to make themselves scarce, so I'm glad to have found this site. I had lumpectomy for Stage II bc in June, 08 followed by 8 weeks of radiation. I'm now on Arimidex for 5 years. I was fascinated to read the experiences others have had with this drug and to know that each new pain that presents itself is not all in my head!0 -
alone tooJeanne D said:Good luck to you!
This is my 2nd time with breast cancer, but, I still have lots of questions and concerns. It is so nice to have a place like this to ask, discuss and talk our concerns over with other women going thru cancer.
I moved to canada from england 5 years ago. got bc and no support from husband........whew, how do I explain why I am still here........0 -
BECAUSE WE LOVE YOUtasha_111 said:alone too
I moved to canada from england 5 years ago. got bc and no support from husband........whew, how do I explain why I am still here........
BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU JULIA!
there is no nose on my happy faces because I have an allergy. 0 -
Hi there
I am new to the site also. I had the same breast cancer as you. I am now done with both chemo and radition. I have been out of work for 4 wks on sick leave. I ended up with neuropathy from my Taxol. I am currently on my 3rd prescription called Lyrica. It seems to be working but I am getting many reactions from it. The Dr. and Pharmacists tell me that in time my body with get used to the Lyrica and the side effects with go away. I am getting better. The cancer deal can be so difficult. My friends and sister were great and boy did I use them. These sites are so helpful in knowing that you are not alone in how you feel. Please take care..0 -
Hugs to everybody!jeanne1948 said:Hi there
I am new to the site also. I had the same breast cancer as you. I am now done with both chemo and radition. I have been out of work for 4 wks on sick leave. I ended up with neuropathy from my Taxol. I am currently on my 3rd prescription called Lyrica. It seems to be working but I am getting many reactions from it. The Dr. and Pharmacists tell me that in time my body with get used to the Lyrica and the side effects with go away. I am getting better. The cancer deal can be so difficult. My friends and sister were great and boy did I use them. These sites are so helpful in knowing that you are not alone in how you feel. Please take care..
Thank you so much for all the wonderful responses! I've read a lot of other posts and have learned a lot, but most of all I've learned how great you women are and I feel no one judging anyone anywhere, which is a blessing in itself. This is the best place I've ever come to online. Thanks again to everybody!
Hugs, MollysGrandma Joyce0 -
HIMollysGma said:What is EMLA cream ?
It sounds like you're doing everything my doctor wants me to, but I'm so afraid of the meds! What is EMLA cream and do you need a prescription or ask the doctor for it or what? If I don't do the chemo then I'll be on hormones for five years, if I can tolerate them, but the chemo isn't as long term. Still confused and scared though. Already on Xanax. Not that helpful since I've taken it a long time already. Thanks for your reply, I really appreaciate it.
MollysGma Joyce
Hi Molly,
I am new to this, just joined today - wish I had found it early on but I did have the blessing of great friends. I learned alot in my journey though breast cancer. Had lumpectomy, then chemo to shrink tumor, then partial, then bilateral mastectomy (April 17, 2008) and finally radiaion. Now on Tamoxafin. First, I want to say that you are totally NOT a wuss. I've learned that while everyone's journey through this is different, they are equally important and scarry. Hang in there. For me, the chemo wasn't too bad. Kind of like childbirth - easy to say that now that I'm done and my hair is back. You'll make the right decision for you.
Your friend,
Lisa0 -
WelcomeLisaW said:HI
Hi Molly,
I am new to this, just joined today - wish I had found it early on but I did have the blessing of great friends. I learned alot in my journey though breast cancer. Had lumpectomy, then chemo to shrink tumor, then partial, then bilateral mastectomy (April 17, 2008) and finally radiaion. Now on Tamoxafin. First, I want to say that you are totally NOT a wuss. I've learned that while everyone's journey through this is different, they are equally important and scarry. Hang in there. For me, the chemo wasn't too bad. Kind of like childbirth - easy to say that now that I'm done and my hair is back. You'll make the right decision for you.
Your friend,
Lisa
Glad you found us, Lisa.
I have a friend who went through much the same BC as I am going through 4 years ago, but she's one person. Having so many other people to get opinions from is a big advantage.
Knowledge is what makes things easier. Fear hurts.
I had chest pain this weekend when breathing, and actually ended up going to the ER--I'm 3+ weeks out of bilateral mastectomies and reconstruction. I was worried about a blood clot, and indeed the ER staff was too.
Turned out to be fluid in the lung--pneumonia. Once I knew it wasn't a blood clot, it didn't hurt as bad!
Antibiotics for 5 days. If I do chemo, it won't start until the third week of April, so this will be over. (The oncologist quipped that it's good to get all the pneumonia out of the way early before chemo, ha, ha.)
I'm Lisa too.
hugs0 -
Hope you are feeling betterLtalcott said:Welcome
Glad you found us, Lisa.
I have a friend who went through much the same BC as I am going through 4 years ago, but she's one person. Having so many other people to get opinions from is a big advantage.
Knowledge is what makes things easier. Fear hurts.
I had chest pain this weekend when breathing, and actually ended up going to the ER--I'm 3+ weeks out of bilateral mastectomies and reconstruction. I was worried about a blood clot, and indeed the ER staff was too.
Turned out to be fluid in the lung--pneumonia. Once I knew it wasn't a blood clot, it didn't hurt as bad!
Antibiotics for 5 days. If I do chemo, it won't start until the third week of April, so this will be over. (The oncologist quipped that it's good to get all the pneumonia out of the way early before chemo, ha, ha.)
I'm Lisa too.
hugs
Hope you are feeling better Lisa!0
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