Insensitivity in the Medical Field
I had a kidney stone several months ago and unfortunately it didn't pass, settled into my bladder and has to be removed. I was to have it out at the beginning of the year but I had heart issues and had to cancel and reschedule, only to find out the next date for the surgery wouldn't be til the first week in June. I started to realize that I didn't have certain questions answered like 1. how fast do the stones grow and 2. was the doc sure that it was the stone he saw on the xray he took at the time. The reason I wanted to ask that last question was because when I was in his office for the first time looking at my xray he said, when he first saw it, 'there it is. At least I THINK that's the stone'. WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN? With a history of NHL, guessing isn't in my best interest from a doc. So I said 'you think?' at which time he said ya he thought it was the stone and then later he said that the radiologist reading the report said yes it was a stone.
HOWEVER, he planted a seed of doubt in my head and that was enough for me. So I call his office last week and the secretary, even though I told her the story and my history, acted like I was totally bothering her and I had to work really hard to get her to ask the doc for the answers I needed. Apparently he was going away for spring break and so he only had that day to answer the questions.
No phone call and off he went I guess, for spring break. So I called today to get the answers and once again the secretary acted like I was bugging her but said she asked the doctor and he said the stone won't grow that fast (now it was 9 months from when I had the attack) and she said the doc said go ahead with the surgery in June BUT didn't answer the next question which was the important one 'was he sure it was a stone' or something else hanging around my bladder? She stopped for a minute then rephrased it and I said well if he says it is definitely the stone then fine to which she said 'yes'. I don't know but I got the feeling she just answered 'yes' to get rid of me so I am no further ahead. Since the wait was so long to pull that kidney stone out the question was a good one 'was that a kidney stone or SOMETHING ELSE' - 9 months is a long time to wait for analysis of a tumor if it isn't a kidney stone and that doc certainly put doubt in my mind.
With histories of cancer, as we all know, information is our only comfort sometimes and how long does it take someone in the medical field to give us that comfort? Does anyone out there know how to cope with this type of situation, once and for all? I am out of ideas. Thanks. Blessings, Blueroses.
Comments
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Blueroses
I would of also asked if it could be anything else. My Drs offices usually I will leave a message and the nurse calls back not the reseptionist. And they call me the same day. Maybe a new dR? or is this a good one other then the bed side manner? My husband had a dr that was just a fill in at the hospital and he told my husband he didnt have long. I just looked at him disgusted. He didnt say will try this or that or give any positive attitude. I told the nurses on that floor who they were wonderful, they said yea they have to train him to be better with his positive bed side manner they were disgusted too. And they talked to him. YOur Dr probably knows it is a stone and maybe the conversation never got to him. I hope all comes out well Blueroses. I might talk to the dr about being sure of things and if he is don't stammer around about it. And tell his reseptionist you want to talk to a medical person. Take care
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy0 -
Hey Sandygreen50 said:Blueroses
I would of also asked if it could be anything else. My Drs offices usually I will leave a message and the nurse calls back not the reseptionist. And they call me the same day. Maybe a new dR? or is this a good one other then the bed side manner? My husband had a dr that was just a fill in at the hospital and he told my husband he didnt have long. I just looked at him disgusted. He didnt say will try this or that or give any positive attitude. I told the nurses on that floor who they were wonderful, they said yea they have to train him to be better with his positive bed side manner they were disgusted too. And they talked to him. YOur Dr probably knows it is a stone and maybe the conversation never got to him. I hope all comes out well Blueroses. I might talk to the dr about being sure of things and if he is don't stammer around about it. And tell his reseptionist you want to talk to a medical person. Take care
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy
Thanks for your response. Yes I did ask them that question, could it be something else and of course there was that hesitation that made me more unsure. I told them it was a fair question given my history but the doubt had already occurred when the doctor stumbled around a diagnosis. I don't think I was being over sensitive about it, he just planted a doubt seed. Anywho I wrote down the time and date that she confirmed it was a stone just for the records. It would take even longer to get another urologist consult and they all work together here so that would be a trick to get another one on board and then scheduling preop and surgery that thing will grow to the size of a mountain to get it done by someone else. I am hoping that it is just the stone and that this doc knows what he is talking about. Thanks for your well wishes and suggestions Sandy. Take care. Hugs back. Blueroses.0 -
Blueblueroses said:Hey Sandy
Thanks for your response. Yes I did ask them that question, could it be something else and of course there was that hesitation that made me more unsure. I told them it was a fair question given my history but the doubt had already occurred when the doctor stumbled around a diagnosis. I don't think I was being over sensitive about it, he just planted a doubt seed. Anywho I wrote down the time and date that she confirmed it was a stone just for the records. It would take even longer to get another urologist consult and they all work together here so that would be a trick to get another one on board and then scheduling preop and surgery that thing will grow to the size of a mountain to get it done by someone else. I am hoping that it is just the stone and that this doc knows what he is talking about. Thanks for your well wishes and suggestions Sandy. Take care. Hugs back. Blueroses.
Please don't send me to my corner............... But I have exactly the same problem with my Oncologist 'Dr Charisma-Bypass'! Bedside manner '0' points. When I first met him it was like: "You'll go bald, get a wig" and when I told him of my concerns about chemo, he waved me off like an annoying fly and said "Try it, if you don't like it, give up.........It's not my problem if you choose to die"...Ever the diplomat eh?.. Makes you wonder why these insensitive, uncaring and Ghoullish people go into medicine in the first place, it sure isn't because they want to help and assist patients. Maybe the money, Hours and social standing are enough. I ask u!???? Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
Does the recurrance worry never ever ever go away?blueroses said:Hey Sandy
Thanks for your response. Yes I did ask them that question, could it be something else and of course there was that hesitation that made me more unsure. I told them it was a fair question given my history but the doubt had already occurred when the doctor stumbled around a diagnosis. I don't think I was being over sensitive about it, he just planted a doubt seed. Anywho I wrote down the time and date that she confirmed it was a stone just for the records. It would take even longer to get another urologist consult and they all work together here so that would be a trick to get another one on board and then scheduling preop and surgery that thing will grow to the size of a mountain to get it done by someone else. I am hoping that it is just the stone and that this doc knows what he is talking about. Thanks for your well wishes and suggestions Sandy. Take care. Hugs back. Blueroses.
I hope to have my last chemo on Monday, and then after 8 weeks of radiation, I've PROMISED myself that I will live my life as someone CURED, and will assume, as I did "before cancer," that the little aches and twinges are gas pains or old age. I promised myself that I won't always be waiting for the other shoe to drop; that the fear will melt away and stay at bay. You're a 20-year survivor, Blue. Will doubt always rush in and fan the embers of fear, always? Am I being unrealistic to think that I can turn my back on this chapter in my life and pick things up where I left them once my treatments are over?0 -
Bedside manner
I understand how you are feeling about a doctor with no bedside manner whatsoever. My gyn refer me to a gyn oncologist who had the bedside manner of an idiot. I truly had no choice but to allow him to do my surgery as there is only three in the area. They are in the same office, too. Since there is only three of them, they are also very busy and I couldn't wait even long enough to see one of the other ones. I had to go back to my gyn to get the answers to important questions. He was so reluctant to answer my question that I refused to sign the permission slip the first time I saw him. To which, he replied then you are going to die. Really???? Is that any way to talk to a person who has just been dx with cancer and is so overwhelmed by it all? I just wanted to understand what the h--- he intended to do to me. Then on the day of my surgery, I said to him that I had talked to my gyn and as long as he wasn't doing the radical vulvectomy----and only doing what he had written on the paper then we would go ahead. To which he replied, this is between you and I and your gyn isn't involved in this. So------he should have been more forthcoming with the information I required in order to allow him to do his job. After my surgery, he sent me to a radiation oncologist with his recommendations for treatment. He requested that she contact him after the first 25 treatments to discuss internal rads. that he wanted done. She tried repeatedly to talk to him and he never returned her calls. I decided to go with her recommendations and at the point said I will need someone else to do my aftercare cause I never want to see him again. Now she takes cares of me herself but I don't know what I will do if the need ever arises where I need to see a gyn oncologist. I also decided at that time if I ever had another doctor so unwilling to give me the information that I required to allow treatment then I would get rid of them and find someone more to my liking.
Hugs and prayers,
Shirley0 -
Still crazy after nearly 27 years!lindaprocopio said:Does the recurrance worry never ever ever go away?
I hope to have my last chemo on Monday, and then after 8 weeks of radiation, I've PROMISED myself that I will live my life as someone CURED, and will assume, as I did "before cancer," that the little aches and twinges are gas pains or old age. I promised myself that I won't always be waiting for the other shoe to drop; that the fear will melt away and stay at bay. You're a 20-year survivor, Blue. Will doubt always rush in and fan the embers of fear, always? Am I being unrealistic to think that I can turn my back on this chapter in my life and pick things up where I left them once my treatments are over?
Linda,
I'm having my blood drawn for tumor markers this weekend and still feel a sense of dread until my doctor confirms that they look "normal". One would think that I could safely assume that nothing would turn up, but that is not the case. A cancer survivor is just that, a "cancer survivor", but in a constant state of vigilance, like a sentry on the wall on alert for the enemy's attack.
Love and Courage!
Rick0 -
a lifetime of worry?lindaprocopio said:Does the recurrance worry never ever ever go away?
I hope to have my last chemo on Monday, and then after 8 weeks of radiation, I've PROMISED myself that I will live my life as someone CURED, and will assume, as I did "before cancer," that the little aches and twinges are gas pains or old age. I promised myself that I won't always be waiting for the other shoe to drop; that the fear will melt away and stay at bay. You're a 20-year survivor, Blue. Will doubt always rush in and fan the embers of fear, always? Am I being unrealistic to think that I can turn my back on this chapter in my life and pick things up where I left them once my treatments are over?
Linda, while I have not been at this long (first diagnosed in August of '05), I have been involved with it ever since and have spent much time talking to survivors. I would agree with terato to the extent that there will probably always be at least a SMALL niggling anxiety in your mind.
However, I would also advise that much of the answer depends on you. You can choose to be positive and move forward, or you can wallow in self-pity and the attention that you can garner from being a survivor.
You do not strike me as the type, re the latter, based on your posts herein, including the one here.
My mother, the mother of six, had breast cancer surgery in 1974, and after that you would not have known it had you not seen her in the swimming pool, hacked like a poor butcher's job, but not complaining, glad to be living her life, glad to be enjoying her children, glad to be running around shopping with her grandchildren.
Life will be what you make of it.
Some choose to find reasons to complain. Others choose to celebrate. I think you are of the latter ilk.
And all the more power to you!
As for the original post re insensitive medical professionals, I would advise that while there are a few out there, as there are in any profession, we should bear in mind that they deal with tragedy and crisis on a daily basis and must harden themselves to some extent against becoming too close to their patients, else they will burn out or go crazy.
I say that as a man married to a nurse, so I am apt to be biased, but also much more keenly aware of what these people go through on a daily basis.
Hang in there, Linda. Life is what you make it, and you do not have to go down complaining every other day or so for the rest of your life. You can, as far as I've been able to tell, enjoy life if you choose to.
Take care,
Joe0 -
Tasha - No corner for you - um, today, loltasha_111 said:Blue
Please don't send me to my corner............... But I have exactly the same problem with my Oncologist 'Dr Charisma-Bypass'! Bedside manner '0' points. When I first met him it was like: "You'll go bald, get a wig" and when I told him of my concerns about chemo, he waved me off like an annoying fly and said "Try it, if you don't like it, give up.........It's not my problem if you choose to die"...Ever the diplomat eh?.. Makes you wonder why these insensitive, uncaring and Ghoullish people go into medicine in the first place, it sure isn't because they want to help and assist patients. Maybe the money, Hours and social standing are enough. I ask u!???? Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey Tash,
Wow you really had a winner of a doc eh? "It's not my problem if you want to die.". Lovely - must have missed that sensitivity training in med school. Sheeesh. Hey listen, not all docs lack sensitivity - obviously - don't think that even needs to be said - it's obvious - but it's just so shameful when it does happen, to top off all the other things we are dealing with. It doesn't take much to lend a bit of support when a patient needs it and fueling their distress just isn't right. Sorry you had to go through that experience Tash, hope you changed docs. Take care. Hugs. Blueroses0 -
Must have missed the boat on that entry Lindalindaprocopio said:Does the recurrance worry never ever ever go away?
I hope to have my last chemo on Monday, and then after 8 weeks of radiation, I've PROMISED myself that I will live my life as someone CURED, and will assume, as I did "before cancer," that the little aches and twinges are gas pains or old age. I promised myself that I won't always be waiting for the other shoe to drop; that the fear will melt away and stay at bay. You're a 20-year survivor, Blue. Will doubt always rush in and fan the embers of fear, always? Am I being unrealistic to think that I can turn my back on this chapter in my life and pick things up where I left them once my treatments are over?
Must be having a chemo brain moment but were you talking to me and asking me the questions in the last part of that thread Linda or were you referring to yourself as not being able to get over the idea of recurrance? If you meant me, I never think about recurrance because I had an extraordinary experience happen to me while I was in isolation during my bone marrow transplant but of course when I have a scare in my health I don't like the thought then of having cancer again. But it's only then that I think about cancer but again because of that experience I may be unique in my thinking, don't know. The comment about me being a 20 year survivor -don't know why that was mentioned there. Did you mean that after 20 years I am still thinking of recurrance, cause I'm not BUT I have signficant and major after effects that definitely keep me down and bummed on a pretty regular basis. That isn't focusing on my issues of pain and medical intervention - it's unavoidable and in my face daily and I just talk it out here, with those who understand. I really didn't understand the direction of that post Linda, could you explain? Again, I'm blaming the chemo brain, lately it's been pretty bad.
What I do know is that many, or even most, people fear recurrance and I think that's natural to a point. I mean we know the horrors and worries surrounding cancer so who the heck would want that again? But we can't let that fear interfere with our daily lives and when it does then intervention is necessary is my take on it. But only with trained counsellors who deal with cancer survivors specifically, psychologists to me are the best but that may just be a personal preference. I always think of the scenario that it would be so tragic if a cancer survivor fears from the get-go - the cancer returning, ruins their lives and after many years they die of natural causes - cancer never did come back - but they ruined their lives with the fear instead. Not a pretty scenario.
What I also know for sure is that it is SOOOOOOOOOO IMPORTANT to be able to vent our feelings on this board, not just for ourselves, but for all those who feel that they are the only ones who fear and worry and hurt and in reading our posts at last feel validated. Anyone on the outside who hasn't gone through what we have can't possibly understand us and validate us - friends, family and even the medical field at times. That's why I choose to tell it like it is, give up the 'brave' cancer survivor face when I don't feel it and be honest on this board. I owe it to my fellow survivors to tell it like it is.
Take care Linda, hope today is a good one for you. Blessings, Blueroses0 -
Hey Shirleynsquirrely said:Bedside manner
I understand how you are feeling about a doctor with no bedside manner whatsoever. My gyn refer me to a gyn oncologist who had the bedside manner of an idiot. I truly had no choice but to allow him to do my surgery as there is only three in the area. They are in the same office, too. Since there is only three of them, they are also very busy and I couldn't wait even long enough to see one of the other ones. I had to go back to my gyn to get the answers to important questions. He was so reluctant to answer my question that I refused to sign the permission slip the first time I saw him. To which, he replied then you are going to die. Really???? Is that any way to talk to a person who has just been dx with cancer and is so overwhelmed by it all? I just wanted to understand what the h--- he intended to do to me. Then on the day of my surgery, I said to him that I had talked to my gyn and as long as he wasn't doing the radical vulvectomy----and only doing what he had written on the paper then we would go ahead. To which he replied, this is between you and I and your gyn isn't involved in this. So------he should have been more forthcoming with the information I required in order to allow him to do his job. After my surgery, he sent me to a radiation oncologist with his recommendations for treatment. He requested that she contact him after the first 25 treatments to discuss internal rads. that he wanted done. She tried repeatedly to talk to him and he never returned her calls. I decided to go with her recommendations and at the point said I will need someone else to do my aftercare cause I never want to see him again. Now she takes cares of me herself but I don't know what I will do if the need ever arises where I need to see a gyn oncologist. I also decided at that time if I ever had another doctor so unwilling to give me the information that I required to allow treatment then I would get rid of them and find someone more to my liking.
Hugs and prayers,
Shirley
What an awful experience you had. I can relate as many of us on this board can. Isn't it the worst when you are stuck with certain uncaring medical personnel because of situation - where you live and availability of specialists? Ticks me off that people sometimes are held hostage by these kinds of circumstances and then have that stress to deal with on top of everything else. Just shouldn't happen. Well at least you got one doctor who is easier to deal with now and that's a good thing. Try and not think about what would happen if you need that specialist again, who knows you might never have to deal with it again period and secondly even if you do down the road, he may have moved on and a more sensitive doc may well replace him. Try and deal with today Shirley, if you can, and try not to worry about tomorrow. Sheeesh, would be great if I could take that advice myself, lol. Blessings, Blueroses.0 -
Always vigilantterato said:Still crazy after nearly 27 years!
Linda,
I'm having my blood drawn for tumor markers this weekend and still feel a sense of dread until my doctor confirms that they look "normal". One would think that I could safely assume that nothing would turn up, but that is not the case. A cancer survivor is just that, a "cancer survivor", but in a constant state of vigilance, like a sentry on the wall on alert for the enemy's attack.
Love and Courage!
Rick
Hey Rick, Yup I agree, we are always on alert but like I said to Linda, I think it's normal for us to feel that way, just as long as that vigilance doesn't turn to paralyzing fear and render us unable to cope with the day to day on a regular basis. That's my 3 cents. lol Blessings, Blueroses.0 -
That's my point exactlysoccerfreaks said:a lifetime of worry?
Linda, while I have not been at this long (first diagnosed in August of '05), I have been involved with it ever since and have spent much time talking to survivors. I would agree with terato to the extent that there will probably always be at least a SMALL niggling anxiety in your mind.
However, I would also advise that much of the answer depends on you. You can choose to be positive and move forward, or you can wallow in self-pity and the attention that you can garner from being a survivor.
You do not strike me as the type, re the latter, based on your posts herein, including the one here.
My mother, the mother of six, had breast cancer surgery in 1974, and after that you would not have known it had you not seen her in the swimming pool, hacked like a poor butcher's job, but not complaining, glad to be living her life, glad to be enjoying her children, glad to be running around shopping with her grandchildren.
Life will be what you make of it.
Some choose to find reasons to complain. Others choose to celebrate. I think you are of the latter ilk.
And all the more power to you!
As for the original post re insensitive medical professionals, I would advise that while there are a few out there, as there are in any profession, we should bear in mind that they deal with tragedy and crisis on a daily basis and must harden themselves to some extent against becoming too close to their patients, else they will burn out or go crazy.
I say that as a man married to a nurse, so I am apt to be biased, but also much more keenly aware of what these people go through on a daily basis.
Hang in there, Linda. Life is what you make it, and you do not have to go down complaining every other day or so for the rest of your life. You can, as far as I've been able to tell, enjoy life if you choose to.
Take care,
Joe
I think I just answered my own question Linda, after reading Joe's posting here. I assume then that you were talking about yourself and your fear of recurrance. Now I think I'm on track (stupid chemo brain, lol). Joe said that you didn't strike him as the type to 'wallow in self-pity and the attention that you can garner from being a survivor', and while I have no idea what the last part of that sentence meant ('attention that you garner from being a survivor') I think that on all of us survivors are totally allowed to wallow in self-pity now and again if that's how they feel, no matter how brave and 'let's get on with it' an attitude they often have. We all have our down times and on this board we have to be able to state that and get it off our chests when we feel that way. I am adamant about that for survivors - that they can openly express the pluses and the negatives here without fear of being shot down in the name of positivity. Yup being positive is great but come on, who can pull that off 24/7? You are human Linda, don't apologize for that. Unless the fear has gripped you to render you incapable of living your life then when you hurt - cry, when you are afraid - talk it out, and when you are having a good day - share that too. If we can't be honest about our feelings here, where can we do it? Hugs Linda, Blueroses.0 -
Doctors and after cancerblueroses said:Hey Shirley
What an awful experience you had. I can relate as many of us on this board can. Isn't it the worst when you are stuck with certain uncaring medical personnel because of situation - where you live and availability of specialists? Ticks me off that people sometimes are held hostage by these kinds of circumstances and then have that stress to deal with on top of everything else. Just shouldn't happen. Well at least you got one doctor who is easier to deal with now and that's a good thing. Try and not think about what would happen if you need that specialist again, who knows you might never have to deal with it again period and secondly even if you do down the road, he may have moved on and a more sensitive doc may well replace him. Try and deal with today Shirley, if you can, and try not to worry about tomorrow. Sheeesh, would be great if I could take that advice myself, lol. Blessings, Blueroses.
There is little doubt that there are some pretty bad doctors out there. I have walked out on four over that last six years. And I have driven 350 miles one way to get to a doctor I could trust. I have two standards that I live by. They have to read my file and answer my questions. I can't take the chance of adding more damage to my body then I already have. I have little use for production line medicine and work hard at developing a good relationship with anyone that is going to work on me. I learned a long time ago that I could get more information and answers if I had a good relationship with the scheduling nurses. If it takes candy and flowers then they get them. But its a cheap price to pay compared to always waiting for answers.
Getting past cancer is always a personal issue as we all have different coping skills and support structures. And some of us are left with constant painful reminders. But we need to get control of our lives back along with our dignity that was trashed during treatments. I don't look back unless I am trying to relate to someone on here or help someone locally. I make plans for the future and constantly push my limits. I have not found anyone that looks forward to their scheduled cancer checks. But they are a cause for celebration when things turn out good. If I was going to live my life by "what might happen" I would be in a nuclear fallout shelter underground. I would rather be out in the sun and don't plan on climbing in a hole for cancer or anything else. So fight for every bit of your life you can get back. Bless you Slickwilly0 -
Well Saidslickwilly said:Doctors and after cancer
There is little doubt that there are some pretty bad doctors out there. I have walked out on four over that last six years. And I have driven 350 miles one way to get to a doctor I could trust. I have two standards that I live by. They have to read my file and answer my questions. I can't take the chance of adding more damage to my body then I already have. I have little use for production line medicine and work hard at developing a good relationship with anyone that is going to work on me. I learned a long time ago that I could get more information and answers if I had a good relationship with the scheduling nurses. If it takes candy and flowers then they get them. But its a cheap price to pay compared to always waiting for answers.
Getting past cancer is always a personal issue as we all have different coping skills and support structures. And some of us are left with constant painful reminders. But we need to get control of our lives back along with our dignity that was trashed during treatments. I don't look back unless I am trying to relate to someone on here or help someone locally. I make plans for the future and constantly push my limits. I have not found anyone that looks forward to their scheduled cancer checks. But they are a cause for celebration when things turn out good. If I was going to live my life by "what might happen" I would be in a nuclear fallout shelter underground. I would rather be out in the sun and don't plan on climbing in a hole for cancer or anything else. So fight for every bit of your life you can get back. Bless you Slickwilly
Amen Slickwilly Amen
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy0 -
green50green50 said:Well Said
Amen Slickwilly Amen
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy
Thanks. I went outside last night to get my dog. I fell down 3 steps and thought I broke both wrists and my tailbone. My neck is reminding me how much it hates to get shaken up. So its a vicodin day, but tomorrow will be better! Ya gotta hate ice ha ha. Bless you all Slickwilly0 -
Blue: I was asking about myself, soon to be out of treatment.
Blue, I wasn't in any way criticizing you for venting when I mentioned '20 year survivor'. I just am so hoping that the worry of recurrance will disappear once I don't have the daily reminders of the bald head and have all the constant doctor's visits of 'being in treatment' behind me. When you said how the doctor callously inserted that doubt/worry in your mind, my initial thought was: "after 20 years, will my mind still immediately 'go there' instead of the having the easy confidence I ALWAYS enjoyed pre-cancer that I was fine, that it is nothing but gas or a small sports-related injury, etc.? I enjoyed such ridiculously vibrant good health all my life, and actually thought of myself as unbreakable, immune to all illnesses. 55 years old and I was NEVER sick before; worse medical experience had been a bad case of poison ivy. I yearn for a return to that arrogant confidence in the strength of my own body. Your post hit home to me personally that I may never recapture that rock-solid assurance of my own excellence health again.0 -
Linda - not to worry probably just the way I read itlindaprocopio said:Blue: I was asking about myself, soon to be out of treatment.
Blue, I wasn't in any way criticizing you for venting when I mentioned '20 year survivor'. I just am so hoping that the worry of recurrance will disappear once I don't have the daily reminders of the bald head and have all the constant doctor's visits of 'being in treatment' behind me. When you said how the doctor callously inserted that doubt/worry in your mind, my initial thought was: "after 20 years, will my mind still immediately 'go there' instead of the having the easy confidence I ALWAYS enjoyed pre-cancer that I was fine, that it is nothing but gas or a small sports-related injury, etc.? I enjoyed such ridiculously vibrant good health all my life, and actually thought of myself as unbreakable, immune to all illnesses. 55 years old and I was NEVER sick before; worse medical experience had been a bad case of poison ivy. I yearn for a return to that arrogant confidence in the strength of my own body. Your post hit home to me personally that I may never recapture that rock-solid assurance of my own excellence health again.
I think the reasons I asked the question was because of the 20 year survivor comment in the midst of one of your comments so that confused me (doesn't take much to do that these days, lol) and secondly because you always seem very 'up' so I thought - hmmm, must mean me. lol. K, thanks for clearing that up. I read another post under this thread and I figured that is what you meant. No worries.
Oh no my post shouldn't have made you feel that you will never be as you were, everyone is different. On this discussion board though, as you have obviously noticed, there are a bazillion different types of cancers, treatments, and outcomes so no two experiences are really ever quite the same. You have to remember that I was treated 20 fricken years ago and some procedures certainly must have changed for the better since then I'm sure. Also I had different treatments than you did no doubt - different drugs - and a whole lot of issues that you will most likely never see so I wouldn't take any posting on here as if it will automatically pertain to you.
Yes many people do have side effects from treatments but depends what treatments they had. Many people aren't ever quite the same but that doesn't mean they can't function or won't be happy in their new 'normal' as some call it. There may be alot to be learned from a person's new normal if that is where they are headed too, a new way of looking at things.
Opinions offered up here, including mine, are personal observations and sometimes they match up with others and sometimes they don't. The key is positivity if you can at all pull at off as often as possible and you may well be one of those people who, after treatment, carry on as before. The best advice I was ever given before all my treatments started was from a doc who said ' never compare yourself with anyone else who is undergoing even the same treatment for the same type of cancer as you are because remember, they are different people and may respond in totally different ways to you '. So I listened to others experiences with an open mind but never said 'oh no that will be me' because of what that doc shared that day.
I think that after a person has had cancer we do, at times, tend to 'go there' as you said, if a health situation arises for us or if we experience something that reminds us of our time with treatment. That's normal. After treatment is over we can't just forget all about it completely - it's traumatic - but if you can get back to your life and be able to work and play then that's something to look forward to. Hold a good thought Linda that that will be you.
Blessings, Blueroses0 -
For heavans sake Slicksterslickwilly said:green50
Thanks. I went outside last night to get my dog. I fell down 3 steps and thought I broke both wrists and my tailbone. My neck is reminding me how much it hates to get shaken up. So its a vicodin day, but tomorrow will be better! Ya gotta hate ice ha ha. Bless you all Slickwilly
That dog is out to get you Slick, lol. You 'thought' you broke your wrists and tailbone, did you? Did you get xrays? Don't tell me, your a man and you can take it, right? Well with vicodin you can take it, lol. You remind me of House. lol
Tell that dog to quit getting you into trouble, what a pain he is. Literally. Take care old boy and please stay off the ice. Sheeesh. Blessings, Blueroses.0 -
Oh Slickslickwilly said:green50
Thanks. I went outside last night to get my dog. I fell down 3 steps and thought I broke both wrists and my tailbone. My neck is reminding me how much it hates to get shaken up. So its a vicodin day, but tomorrow will be better! Ya gotta hate ice ha ha. Bless you all Slickwilly
Take more water with it! LOL..........So sorry you are in more pain, take care Jxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
Wish I could forget I had cancerlindaprocopio said:Blue: I was asking about myself, soon to be out of treatment.
Blue, I wasn't in any way criticizing you for venting when I mentioned '20 year survivor'. I just am so hoping that the worry of recurrance will disappear once I don't have the daily reminders of the bald head and have all the constant doctor's visits of 'being in treatment' behind me. When you said how the doctor callously inserted that doubt/worry in your mind, my initial thought was: "after 20 years, will my mind still immediately 'go there' instead of the having the easy confidence I ALWAYS enjoyed pre-cancer that I was fine, that it is nothing but gas or a small sports-related injury, etc.? I enjoyed such ridiculously vibrant good health all my life, and actually thought of myself as unbreakable, immune to all illnesses. 55 years old and I was NEVER sick before; worse medical experience had been a bad case of poison ivy. I yearn for a return to that arrogant confidence in the strength of my own body. Your post hit home to me personally that I may never recapture that rock-solid assurance of my own excellence health again.
Linda, I'm very sorry to have to say this but I don't know how a person who has had cancer can ever get over it--I mean to forget about it and return to the way things were. I thought I would do that. Here I am 22 months NED and it's my stumbling block. It probably has something to do with the stupid abnormal paptests I keep getting. Realistically I might have been like this anyway. I too was very, very healthy and took my health for granted. I never developed the health problems so many people seem to have as they get older. I kept my weight down (never had a weight problem) and didn't have any addictions. But I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop........Cancer isn't like the flu or common cold you just suffer thru and get over that. Wish it was.0
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