Insensitivity in the Medical Field

Olee

Dreamdove said:

Wish I could forget I had cancer
Linda, I'm very sorry to have to say this but I don't know how a person who has had cancer can ever get over it--I mean to forget about it and return to the way things were. I thought I would do that. Here I am 22 months NED and it's my stumbling block. It probably has something to do with the stupid abnormal paptests I keep getting. Realistically I might have been like this anyway. I too was very, very healthy and took my health for granted. I never developed the health problems so many people seem to have as they get older. I kept my weight down (never had a weight problem) and didn't have any addictions. But I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop........Cancer isn't like the flu or common cold you just suffer thru and get over that. Wish it was.

Forgetting
Yesterday marked 4 weeks since my surgery for prostate cancer and my doctor says so far things look great, we'll know with the final psa test next month. I've been told by family and friends that once the surgery is over you'll have nothing to worry about. Well I'm staying positive and feel very relieved, but I can't see how I can ever just move through life without this being in the back of my mind. It's easy for everyone else to say well it's out now you can go back to normal, yeah well removing cancer isn't like removing your tonsils. I'll always be a little nervous going for the psa test, which have to be done yearly for the rest of my life. The things I can do are what I'm doing now, changing diet,increasing the exercise and enjoying life even more. I won't let it stop me from celebrating life, but it's definitely hanging around in my thoughts. On the subject on insensitive medical personnel, I can relate very well. I chronicled alot of my experiences in "Diagnosed at 40" on the prostate cancer thread. Upon meeting my urologist the morning of my biopsy he held a short conversation with my wife and I that gave his view of my future. He assured us that everything was going to be ok and that he had a guy last week that was 43 with a psa of 5, and he was certain he had cancer. He continued with, yours was much lower, at which time we interrupted and said, "No it was higher." He cleared his throat, looked at his notes and said, "oh I'm sorry." Well I had complications from the biopsy which placed me in the hospital for a night a week later. I was told repeatedly to make sure I made it to the appointment the following day to discuss my biopsy results once I was released. My wife and I made the appointment the next day with much anxiety,but with hope in our hearts. We were led back to an examining room and before we can sit down the doctor walks in and loudly exclaims, "So... I hear you got some cancer in ya prostate!" I was in shock and my wife even asked if he was joking at which time he explained that no it was no joke. He then asked ,"They didn't tell you when you went to the hospital?" "Well I guess they left it up to me to deliver the bad news." I sat down and he spent 10 minutes talking mainly to my wife, handed us some books, and wished us luck. Now I don't have an MD but I do work with people everyday and I've gone over that scenario a hundred times in my head as to how I would have handled things. How about, "Did anyone discuss your biopsy results when you were in the hospital?" "They didn't?" "Well sit down and let's have a talk." I had many more experiences with that medical facility, which I fled as quickly as possible, but that one will always be remembered.

blueroses

Olee said:

Forgetting
Yesterday marked 4 weeks since my surgery for prostate cancer and my doctor says so far things look great, we'll know with the final psa test next month. I've been told by family and friends that once the surgery is over you'll have nothing to worry about. Well I'm staying positive and feel very relieved, but I can't see how I can ever just move through life without this being in the back of my mind. It's easy for everyone else to say well it's out now you can go back to normal, yeah well removing cancer isn't like removing your tonsils. I'll always be a little nervous going for the psa test, which have to be done yearly for the rest of my life. The things I can do are what I'm doing now, changing diet,increasing the exercise and enjoying life even more. I won't let it stop me from celebrating life, but it's definitely hanging around in my thoughts. On the subject on insensitive medical personnel, I can relate very well. I chronicled alot of my experiences in "Diagnosed at 40" on the prostate cancer thread. Upon meeting my urologist the morning of my biopsy he held a short conversation with my wife and I that gave his view of my future. He assured us that everything was going to be ok and that he had a guy last week that was 43 with a psa of 5, and he was certain he had cancer. He continued with, yours was much lower, at which time we interrupted and said, "No it was higher." He cleared his throat, looked at his notes and said, "oh I'm sorry." Well I had complications from the biopsy which placed me in the hospital for a night a week later. I was told repeatedly to make sure I made it to the appointment the following day to discuss my biopsy results once I was released. My wife and I made the appointment the next day with much anxiety,but with hope in our hearts. We were led back to an examining room and before we can sit down the doctor walks in and loudly exclaims, "So... I hear you got some cancer in ya prostate!" I was in shock and my wife even asked if he was joking at which time he explained that no it was no joke. He then asked ,"They didn't tell you when you went to the hospital?" "Well I guess they left it up to me to deliver the bad news." I sat down and he spent 10 minutes talking mainly to my wife, handed us some books, and wished us luck. Now I don't have an MD but I do work with people everyday and I've gone over that scenario a hundred times in my head as to how I would have handled things. How about, "Did anyone discuss your biopsy results when you were in the hospital?" "They didn't?" "Well sit down and let's have a talk." I had many more experiences with that medical facility, which I fled as quickly as possible, but that one will always be remembered.

Hi Olee
That story of insensitivity sure brings back memories of several of my own experiences, I am sure we can all, as survivors, relate to this topic for sure. A few careless, poorly thought out words by a doctor/nurse can do so much harm just as much as a few well thought out and kind words can give such comfort. Does it take any more time to do the latter?

With the economy being as it is today and with all the cutbacks I fear for cancer survivors and patients alike in this rushed and stressed medical world we live in now.

I hope you are getting better care now and it was so wise of you to leave that facility as soon as you could. All the best, Blueroses.

slickwilly

blueroses said:

Hi Olee
That story of insensitivity sure brings back memories of several of my own experiences, I am sure we can all, as survivors, relate to this topic for sure. A few careless, poorly thought out words by a doctor/nurse can do so much harm just as much as a few well thought out and kind words can give such comfort. Does it take any more time to do the latter?

With the economy being as it is today and with all the cutbacks I fear for cancer survivors and patients alike in this rushed and stressed medical world we live in now.

I hope you are getting better care now and it was so wise of you to leave that facility as soon as you could. All the best, Blueroses.

Stacked patients
I am sure that many of us have been through an emergency room or doctors office in the past few months. It has become painfully clear that we suffer from a doctor shortage not only in the U.S. but all over the world. The high cost of becoming a doctor $200,000+ has pushed many out of general practice and into specific high dollar areas. Rural areas of the country don't keep good doctors very long as they are in high demand. General Practice doctors are almost becoming a thing of the past as they need income to pay off college debts. Its sad that my children will not be able to maintain one doctor for much of their life as I have. I have had my GP for 25 years and consider him a friend. Last week one of my daughters had a bladder infection and no insurance. I told her to call my GP and he would take care of her. She was pretty surprised when she called him and explained she didn't have any money. He took her in right away and gave her the needed medication. Then he said she could pay him whenever she had some money. Nothing to sign and no disrespect. Just one doctor taking a patients word that she would pay for his service. When my daughter called me and said she had received treatment I had my wife call his office and thank them. I have seen 25 doctors over the last 6 years and 4 were pretty bad. So I guess that is not a real bad average in this world we live in. The problem with doctors really hits home when cancer is involved and time is critical. Doctors with too many patients don't have time to read files and they have to justify any tests to the insurance industry. They have to weed out the drug addicted people looking for prescription drugs. Many times such as in my case, the first ENT thought I was just looking for pain drugs. Only after I tried to take a swing at him did he schedule an MRI on my head that found a mass and a brain tumor. That completly changed his tone with me but I never saw him again. There is no simple solution to all of our medical problems no matter what country you are in. I see that Britain in now refusing some cancer treatments as they are too expensive. In the Netherlands many patients are offered assisted death by doctors long before its called for. My step grandmother was offered assisted death by a few doctors and lived quite happily for another 6 months. It always seems to come back to money. And I don't think anyone's life should reduced to dollars. Slickwilly

green50

slickwilly said:

Stacked patients
I am sure that many of us have been through an emergency room or doctors office in the past few months. It has become painfully clear that we suffer from a doctor shortage not only in the U.S. but all over the world. The high cost of becoming a doctor $200,000+ has pushed many out of general practice and into specific high dollar areas. Rural areas of the country don't keep good doctors very long as they are in high demand. General Practice doctors are almost becoming a thing of the past as they need income to pay off college debts. Its sad that my children will not be able to maintain one doctor for much of their life as I have. I have had my GP for 25 years and consider him a friend. Last week one of my daughters had a bladder infection and no insurance. I told her to call my GP and he would take care of her. She was pretty surprised when she called him and explained she didn't have any money. He took her in right away and gave her the needed medication. Then he said she could pay him whenever she had some money. Nothing to sign and no disrespect. Just one doctor taking a patients word that she would pay for his service. When my daughter called me and said she had received treatment I had my wife call his office and thank them. I have seen 25 doctors over the last 6 years and 4 were pretty bad. So I guess that is not a real bad average in this world we live in. The problem with doctors really hits home when cancer is involved and time is critical. Doctors with too many patients don't have time to read files and they have to justify any tests to the insurance industry. They have to weed out the drug addicted people looking for prescription drugs. Many times such as in my case, the first ENT thought I was just looking for pain drugs. Only after I tried to take a swing at him did he schedule an MRI on my head that found a mass and a brain tumor. That completly changed his tone with me but I never saw him again. There is no simple solution to all of our medical problems no matter what country you are in. I see that Britain in now refusing some cancer treatments as they are too expensive. In the Netherlands many patients are offered assisted death by doctors long before its called for. My step grandmother was offered assisted death by a few doctors and lived quite happily for another 6 months. It always seems to come back to money. And I don't think anyone's life should reduced to dollars. Slickwilly

Its a Merry Go Round
Another thing to contend with is insurance. I have Medicaid and have a 700 dollar spend down. Well I take chemo every month so I am suppose to pay the 700 a month spend down. Can't take the pill Dr wanted me to because I would have to go into drug store and give them the 700 a month towards paying for the chemo pill that is approx. 2000 dollars. So I go to the cancer center and get the drip. Thank God they are understanding there and I pay my $20 a month toward my spend down. HMM this rate take me the next 200 years to pay but anyway Medicaid pays anything over the 700 and the Dr excepts what they pay so I can get the MIllion dollar treaments a month LOL just joking about the million but anyway they are compassionate where I am at. Why does life have to be in the name of money? hmm. I will be ON Medicare next year and then maybe find a medigap or something. Hopefully government will figure out something but until then I am getting my treatments and they can't get blood out of a turnip LOL I am thankful for my Cancer Center. HOpe all of you get better treatment of what you deserve.
Prayers and Hugs
SAndy

blueroses

slickwilly said:

Stacked patients
I am sure that many of us have been through an emergency room or doctors office in the past few months. It has become painfully clear that we suffer from a doctor shortage not only in the U.S. but all over the world. The high cost of becoming a doctor $200,000+ has pushed many out of general practice and into specific high dollar areas. Rural areas of the country don't keep good doctors very long as they are in high demand. General Practice doctors are almost becoming a thing of the past as they need income to pay off college debts. Its sad that my children will not be able to maintain one doctor for much of their life as I have. I have had my GP for 25 years and consider him a friend. Last week one of my daughters had a bladder infection and no insurance. I told her to call my GP and he would take care of her. She was pretty surprised when she called him and explained she didn't have any money. He took her in right away and gave her the needed medication. Then he said she could pay him whenever she had some money. Nothing to sign and no disrespect. Just one doctor taking a patients word that she would pay for his service. When my daughter called me and said she had received treatment I had my wife call his office and thank them. I have seen 25 doctors over the last 6 years and 4 were pretty bad. So I guess that is not a real bad average in this world we live in. The problem with doctors really hits home when cancer is involved and time is critical. Doctors with too many patients don't have time to read files and they have to justify any tests to the insurance industry. They have to weed out the drug addicted people looking for prescription drugs. Many times such as in my case, the first ENT thought I was just looking for pain drugs. Only after I tried to take a swing at him did he schedule an MRI on my head that found a mass and a brain tumor. That completly changed his tone with me but I never saw him again. There is no simple solution to all of our medical problems no matter what country you are in. I see that Britain in now refusing some cancer treatments as they are too expensive. In the Netherlands many patients are offered assisted death by doctors long before its called for. My step grandmother was offered assisted death by a few doctors and lived quite happily for another 6 months. It always seems to come back to money. And I don't think anyone's life should reduced to dollars. Slickwilly

Health/Money/Stress
Unfortunately it's true Slick - it always comes down to a buckereeno. Pretty sad when a person's life is at stake. In Canada we have had basically free healthcare but I can see that fading with prices now put on docs filling out forms and so on. I can see us moving towards privitization and that's a scarey thing indeed for most people. As the babyboomers start to creek the insurance companies are upping their premiums so that some can't afford to even have that type of insurance - you can see it all cracking at the seams up here. We still are much better off than countries with no national medical but how much longer is the question here. Day by day I guess.

I too have a GP I have known for about as long as your GP and she is invaluable and the best thing about her is how much she validates me. I do notice however that more and more docs are realizing the side effects that many survivors share and comment by comment when I see a new specialist it's a good feeling to know that they see the issues. Up here we have just had a story out that many docs are choosing not to work in hospitals - that's a scarey thought.

Blessings, Blueroses.

Dreamdove

green50 said:

Its a Merry Go Round
Another thing to contend with is insurance. I have Medicaid and have a 700 dollar spend down. Well I take chemo every month so I am suppose to pay the 700 a month spend down. Can't take the pill Dr wanted me to because I would have to go into drug store and give them the 700 a month towards paying for the chemo pill that is approx. 2000 dollars. So I go to the cancer center and get the drip. Thank God they are understanding there and I pay my $20 a month toward my spend down. HMM this rate take me the next 200 years to pay but anyway Medicaid pays anything over the 700 and the Dr excepts what they pay so I can get the MIllion dollar treaments a month LOL just joking about the million but anyway they are compassionate where I am at. Why does life have to be in the name of money? hmm. I will be ON Medicare next year and then maybe find a medigap or something. Hopefully government will figure out something but until then I am getting my treatments and they can't get blood out of a turnip LOL I am thankful for my Cancer Center. HOpe all of you get better treatment of what you deserve.
Prayers and Hugs
SAndy

they say more people are going without medical care than ever
Sandy, I have medicaid also and I am very thankful because I would never have been able to pay for the surgery and treatments and tests and checkups. For many years I had no health insurance and never went for checkups. But I have noticed that during the last few checkups I don't see my doctor anymore. I only see the physician's assistant even though I made my appointment with the doctor. So if it's the physician's assistant during my May appointment, that means it will be an entire year since I've actually seen my doctor. They don't call me or tell me ahead of time so then I could re-schedule if he is not available. First I thought it was just a coincedence but now I'm starting to think medicaid maybe doesn't want to pay for a gynecological oncologist for someone in remission. However, I have concerns about the abnormal paptests I've been getting and during one of the checkups the physician's assistant asked me how many men I've had sex with. I didn't know what to say and muttered something but I really don't think she even knew what kind of cancer I had had (ovarian) and maybe thought I had cervical cancer. I don't even have a cervix! I am aware that sometimes ovarian cancer spreads to the cervical cuff area but that has nothing to do with how many sex partners I had over the years. So I think next time, before my appointment, I'm going to call and ask if I will be able to see the doctor instead of the physican's assistant. If I can't I might as well go to a GP. At least then I'd be able to see an actual doctor.

green50

Dreamdove said:

they say more people are going without medical care than ever
Sandy, I have medicaid also and I am very thankful because I would never have been able to pay for the surgery and treatments and tests and checkups. For many years I had no health insurance and never went for checkups. But I have noticed that during the last few checkups I don't see my doctor anymore. I only see the physician's assistant even though I made my appointment with the doctor. So if it's the physician's assistant during my May appointment, that means it will be an entire year since I've actually seen my doctor. They don't call me or tell me ahead of time so then I could re-schedule if he is not available. First I thought it was just a coincedence but now I'm starting to think medicaid maybe doesn't want to pay for a gynecological oncologist for someone in remission. However, I have concerns about the abnormal paptests I've been getting and during one of the checkups the physician's assistant asked me how many men I've had sex with. I didn't know what to say and muttered something but I really don't think she even knew what kind of cancer I had had (ovarian) and maybe thought I had cervical cancer. I don't even have a cervix! I am aware that sometimes ovarian cancer spreads to the cervical cuff area but that has nothing to do with how many sex partners I had over the years. So I think next time, before my appointment, I'm going to call and ask if I will be able to see the doctor instead of the physican's assistant. If I can't I might as well go to a GP. At least then I'd be able to see an actual doctor.

I would do the same
The only time I dont see my Dr is if he is at a discussion board meeting then one dr is there to take over but 99% of the time I see my Dr. I am lucky where I go plus I have know the nurses for almost 7 years and trust them as well. I just know your checkup is going to be great.
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy

Eil4186

blueroses said:

That's my point exactly
I think I just answered my own question Linda, after reading Joe's posting here. I assume then that you were talking about yourself and your fear of recurrance. Now I think I'm on track (stupid chemo brain, lol). Joe said that you didn't strike him as the type to 'wallow in self-pity and the attention that you can garner from being a survivor', and while I have no idea what the last part of that sentence meant ('attention that you garner from being a survivor') I think that on all of us survivors are totally allowed to wallow in self-pity now and again if that's how they feel, no matter how brave and 'let's get on with it' an attitude they often have. We all have our down times and on this board we have to be able to state that and get it off our chests when we feel that way. I am adamant about that for survivors - that they can openly express the pluses and the negatives here without fear of being shot down in the name of positivity. Yup being positive is great but come on, who can pull that off 24/7? You are human Linda, don't apologize for that. Unless the fear has gripped you to render you incapable of living your life then when you hurt - cry, when you are afraid - talk it out, and when you are having a good day - share that too. If we can't be honest about our feelings here, where can we do it? Hugs Linda, Blueroses.

Hi Blue, I feel that having
Hi Blue, I feel that having gone through the horror of a cancer diagnosis and treatments I deserve to feel sorry for myself now and then. I don't find it possible to close the door on my cacner experience. I do live my life and enjoy each day but my fear of cancer is always in the back of my mind. I do occasionally feel depressed due to reliving the experience(it was afterall emotionally, physically and mentally devastating).

If anyone can go through all that and not be permanently changed/affected then my hat is off to them.

blueroses

Eil4186 said:

Hi Blue, I feel that having
Hi Blue, I feel that having gone through the horror of a cancer diagnosis and treatments I deserve to feel sorry for myself now and then. I don't find it possible to close the door on my cacner experience. I do live my life and enjoy each day but my fear of cancer is always in the back of my mind. I do occasionally feel depressed due to reliving the experience(it was afterall emotionally, physically and mentally devastating).

If anyone can go through all that and not be permanently changed/affected then my hat is off to them.

Hey Eil
I agree. When we are feeling down and a bit sorry for ourselves so be it, the feeling will pass but to get upset about it still affecting us even long after treatments have stopped is pointless, it was a trauma, of course the fear will come back now and again but hopefully not as painfully as in the beginning. Hope today was a good day for you Eil. Blessings, Blueroses

terato

blueroses said:

Health/Money/Stress
Unfortunately it's true Slick - it always comes down to a buckereeno. Pretty sad when a person's life is at stake. In Canada we have had basically free healthcare but I can see that fading with prices now put on docs filling out forms and so on. I can see us moving towards privitization and that's a scarey thing indeed for most people. As the babyboomers start to creek the insurance companies are upping their premiums so that some can't afford to even have that type of insurance - you can see it all cracking at the seams up here. We still are much better off than countries with no national medical but how much longer is the question here. Day by day I guess.

I too have a GP I have known for about as long as your GP and she is invaluable and the best thing about her is how much she validates me. I do notice however that more and more docs are realizing the side effects that many survivors share and comment by comment when I see a new specialist it's a good feeling to know that they see the issues. Up here we have just had a story out that many docs are choosing not to work in hospitals - that's a scarey thought.

Blessings, Blueroses.

If the USA goes single-payor, Canada is unlikely to go private.
President Obama has heeded the call of the 47+ million uninsured and the even larger group of under-insured and is determined to pass some form of universal coverage this year. Unlike the proposed reforms of Hillary Clinton in the early '90s, this time around, Obama will have the support of both business and medical provider groups: http://www.healthcarereformnow.org/author/docs/coverage_crisis.pdf. I have read that Obama is willing to sacrifice parts of his energy agenda to gain Congressional passage on health-care, he may even push for a simple majority vote to guarantee passage.

The entreprenurial spirit will be unleashed when a lot of middle-aged Americans will no longer be bound to their employers for fear of losing health coverage and establish businesses of their own, hopefully healing our damaged economy. This is not just my hope for America, but my hope for Canada as well. Our bodies may be sick, but our minds are creative and our wills are strong.

Love and Courage!

Rick

green50

terato said:

If the USA goes single-payor, Canada is unlikely to go private.
President Obama has heeded the call of the 47+ million uninsured and the even larger group of under-insured and is determined to pass some form of universal coverage this year. Unlike the proposed reforms of Hillary Clinton in the early '90s, this time around, Obama will have the support of both business and medical provider groups: http://www.healthcarereformnow.org/author/docs/coverage_crisis.pdf. I have read that Obama is willing to sacrifice parts of his energy agenda to gain Congressional passage on health-care, he may even push for a simple majority vote to guarantee passage.

The entreprenurial spirit will be unleashed when a lot of middle-aged Americans will no longer be bound to their employers for fear of losing health coverage and establish businesses of their own, hopefully healing our damaged economy. This is not just my hope for America, but my hope for Canada as well. Our bodies may be sick, but our minds are creative and our wills are strong.

Love and Courage!

Rick

YOU are Right Rick
Thanks for info Rick and yes our will is strong. I will be praying they do the right thing.
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy

Olee

green50 said:

YOU are Right Rick
Thanks for info Rick and yes our will is strong. I will be praying they do the right thing.
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy

Insensitivity in the Medical Community
My wife and I saw a movie last night that my aunt had suggested I watch after hearing of my experiences with doctors in the beginning of my treatment. We had waited until I had surgery to watch it, but it did bring back some similar experiences. It's pretty old but still a good movie, it's called The Doctor and stars William Hurt. It's based on a book called "A Dose of My Own Medicine". Basically it's about a doctor with no bedside manner and arrogance who is thrown into the world of being a cancer patient and sees the medical community from the other side. I'm sure alot of you have seen it, but it was relevant to the initial subject so I thought I would share my experience.

CanadaSue

terato said:

If the USA goes single-payor, Canada is unlikely to go private.
President Obama has heeded the call of the 47+ million uninsured and the even larger group of under-insured and is determined to pass some form of universal coverage this year. Unlike the proposed reforms of Hillary Clinton in the early '90s, this time around, Obama will have the support of both business and medical provider groups: http://www.healthcarereformnow.org/author/docs/coverage_crisis.pdf. I have read that Obama is willing to sacrifice parts of his energy agenda to gain Congressional passage on health-care, he may even push for a simple majority vote to guarantee passage.

The entreprenurial spirit will be unleashed when a lot of middle-aged Americans will no longer be bound to their employers for fear of losing health coverage and establish businesses of their own, hopefully healing our damaged economy. This is not just my hope for America, but my hope for Canada as well. Our bodies may be sick, but our minds are creative and our wills are strong.

Love and Courage!

Rick

Canada health care.
Rick,

Here in canada we are lucky that we do not have to pay for our health care. We have to pay for pain meds, nausea meds, or anything that we would use at home. We do not have to fight for coverage, argue with insurance companies on which doctors we want to see.

I hope your new president makes it that way in the US, so cancer patients have one less fight in front of them.

Hugs,

Sue

blueroses

Olee said:

Insensitivity in the Medical Community
My wife and I saw a movie last night that my aunt had suggested I watch after hearing of my experiences with doctors in the beginning of my treatment. We had waited until I had surgery to watch it, but it did bring back some similar experiences. It's pretty old but still a good movie, it's called The Doctor and stars William Hurt. It's based on a book called "A Dose of My Own Medicine". Basically it's about a doctor with no bedside manner and arrogance who is thrown into the world of being a cancer patient and sees the medical community from the other side. I'm sure alot of you have seen it, but it was relevant to the initial subject so I thought I would share my experience.

Hey Olee
Yup I heard of that book and movie and actually I wanted to give that book to one of my insenstive oncologists way back when I was going to treatment but couldn't find it. I thought the book was called 'The Doctor' or maybe I am thinking of another book. Yup I guess no matter who we are you just don't know how it is for someone unless you have literally walked a mile in their shoes. Blessings, Blueroses.

Folks24

Doctors & Insurance
Working people really have no idea what REALLY their health insurance costs. Back long before my lymphoma diagnosis, I was laid off from my job and elected Cobra. I was paying $50 mo for health insurance so thought it'd be maybe $100 at most. NO - $450 and I was healthy then! Talk about shock!!!

I have also run across insensitive drs, etc. I've gotten the "dumb" ones too. I even had one tell me my "blood/node problems" were probably caused by my cat - I had this 2 yrs before I even got a cat. Duh! There is a place here in town that has a rep of you don't go there to get blood drawn. They are terrible there. I tell other places and they say "oh yeah" and that I am easy to get blood drawn from. I got a great gp. He knew things were not right and kept sending me to drs until I finally got a diagnosis. It took 2 yrs and my gp got ticked at the "so called specialists". So I learned the sad fact that doctors don't know everything and sometimes not much - even the specialists. It would be nice if the drs would put themselve in OUR shoes once in awhile to understand what their patients are going through.

I always tell folks to be proactive for themselves with their doctors. If it was your mother, father or sibling - would you let the dr get away with that? Would you ask more questions? Etc. I was proactve for my folks for many years so I'll admit it is hard being proactive for myself but I am learning.

terato

Folks24 said:

Doctors & Insurance
Working people really have no idea what REALLY their health insurance costs. Back long before my lymphoma diagnosis, I was laid off from my job and elected Cobra. I was paying $50 mo for health insurance so thought it'd be maybe $100 at most. NO - $450 and I was healthy then! Talk about shock!!!

I have also run across insensitive drs, etc. I've gotten the "dumb" ones too. I even had one tell me my "blood/node problems" were probably caused by my cat - I had this 2 yrs before I even got a cat. Duh! There is a place here in town that has a rep of you don't go there to get blood drawn. They are terrible there. I tell other places and they say "oh yeah" and that I am easy to get blood drawn from. I got a great gp. He knew things were not right and kept sending me to drs until I finally got a diagnosis. It took 2 yrs and my gp got ticked at the "so called specialists". So I learned the sad fact that doctors don't know everything and sometimes not much - even the specialists. It would be nice if the drs would put themselve in OUR shoes once in awhile to understand what their patients are going through.

I always tell folks to be proactive for themselves with their doctors. If it was your mother, father or sibling - would you let the dr get away with that? Would you ask more questions? Etc. I was proactve for my folks for many years so I'll admit it is hard being proactive for myself but I am learning.

I love your "proactive" policy!
Folks24,

I adopted a practice, in dealing with physicians and attorneys, of sending them letters itemizing my questions and concerns prior to my appointments, keeping a copy for myself so that we would both, literally, be on the "same page". The respective professionals would, therefore, have had the time to prepare answers without having to "to follow-up and phone me in a few days". With attorneys, this proves to be a real money-saver, since every minute they spend on the phone is money on your bill. Having a copy means you never "forget what I was going to ask".

It's not enough to see a medical or legal professional, you have to be a "professional" patient or client to receive the service to which you are entitled.

Love and Courage!

Rick

blueroses

Folks24 said:

Doctors & Insurance
Working people really have no idea what REALLY their health insurance costs. Back long before my lymphoma diagnosis, I was laid off from my job and elected Cobra. I was paying $50 mo for health insurance so thought it'd be maybe $100 at most. NO - $450 and I was healthy then! Talk about shock!!!

I have also run across insensitive drs, etc. I've gotten the "dumb" ones too. I even had one tell me my "blood/node problems" were probably caused by my cat - I had this 2 yrs before I even got a cat. Duh! There is a place here in town that has a rep of you don't go there to get blood drawn. They are terrible there. I tell other places and they say "oh yeah" and that I am easy to get blood drawn from. I got a great gp. He knew things were not right and kept sending me to drs until I finally got a diagnosis. It took 2 yrs and my gp got ticked at the "so called specialists". So I learned the sad fact that doctors don't know everything and sometimes not much - even the specialists. It would be nice if the drs would put themselve in OUR shoes once in awhile to understand what their patients are going through.

I always tell folks to be proactive for themselves with their doctors. If it was your mother, father or sibling - would you let the dr get away with that? Would you ask more questions? Etc. I was proactve for my folks for many years so I'll admit it is hard being proactive for myself but I am learning.

Proactive - the only way to go
Hey Folks, Thanks for sharing your story of strength in the face of cancer treatment. I love hearing these stories of proactive people who fight for answers til they get them - even when they are weak themselves - physcially. You go Folks.

Just to add to what you said is the fact that I find, personally, that if I go into a doctor's office and they treat me badly in any way, I don't only owe it to myself to make my statement known on how I feel about that treatment but I owe it to the next cancer patient who is unlucky enough to come in after me and get the same lousy treatment and so on and so on. If we can muster up the strength to set those kinds of docs straight then just maybe they will think twice about treating the next patient the same way. I am always hopeful that sooner or later it has to sink in to some extent. lol.

Most of my doctors and nurses have been fabulous along the way but it only takes one to say something carelessly to bring us down if we are vulnerable. Some people just can't speak up for themselves so if we get a 'strong day' and have the chance to make the point with a doc who needs it, then let's hope we will do the right thing and stand up and let him/her know.

Sounds like you had a physic doc there who saw signs of upcoming cat issues in your health even before you got a cat. lol.

Hope this post finds you having a good day. Blessings, Blueroses.

Dreamdove

blueroses said:

Proactive - the only way to go
Hey Folks, Thanks for sharing your story of strength in the face of cancer treatment. I love hearing these stories of proactive people who fight for answers til they get them - even when they are weak themselves - physcially. You go Folks.

Just to add to what you said is the fact that I find, personally, that if I go into a doctor's office and they treat me badly in any way, I don't only owe it to myself to make my statement known on how I feel about that treatment but I owe it to the next cancer patient who is unlucky enough to come in after me and get the same lousy treatment and so on and so on. If we can muster up the strength to set those kinds of docs straight then just maybe they will think twice about treating the next patient the same way. I am always hopeful that sooner or later it has to sink in to some extent. lol.

Most of my doctors and nurses have been fabulous along the way but it only takes one to say something carelessly to bring us down if we are vulnerable. Some people just can't speak up for themselves so if we get a 'strong day' and have the chance to make the point with a doc who needs it, then let's hope we will do the right thing and stand up and let him/her know.

Sounds like you had a physic doc there who saw signs of upcoming cat issues in your health even before you got a cat. lol.

Hope this post finds you having a good day. Blessings, Blueroses.

Had to learn to become proactive
I don't believe becoming proactive comes natural to some people. I was never a very aggressive, assertive person for most of my life but things happened that made me aware that I could no longer be a passive person when it concerned the health of my children or myself. If you don't ask questions, try to find out information, disagree or question a medical decision, you place yourself totally in the hands of someone who might forget or neglect you. The morning of my port removal I found out from the nurse that I was supposed to get my port flushed out periodically after I finished chemo treatments. Nobody had said anything and I was never told to make an appointment for that all those months. I'm just lucky there were no problems. Afterall, my port was connected to an artery in my neck. The look on the nurse's face showed the shock of realizing nobody ever told me to do that. Another situation was when I called to find out the results of my second paptest (previous one came out abnormal) because it was over 2 weeks and I never got a postcard or anything. First time I called after 3 weeks because I never heard anything. For the second test the nurse said the results were good. But then there was a message on my answering machine when I got home from work that day. Since it was Friday early evening, I had to wait until Monday morning to return the call. I spoke to a different nurse and she said the test was abnormal again and it even showed some changes from the previous one; that I needed to retake it on my next checkup. Of course I'd be concerned because even though I've been NED for ovarian cancer for 23 months now, sometimes cancer spreads to the cervical cuff area. My mother recently was hospitalized because she fell in her bathroom and broke a bone in her upper thigh. She was in agony and had to wait 3 days for the surgery because on the day it was scheduled they realized they didn't have the correct sized rod in stock. She was getting shots of morphine but apparently that wasn't enough for the pain--maybe she needed something different or something. Everytime I've been in pain in the hospital they have always taken care of the pain for me, including the bowell obstruction which I would rank nearly (not quite) up to childbirth. Now, a couple of weeks after her surgery, she still speaks of the terrible pain she had to endure then. And I always say the same thing; that it's too bad they couldn't have helped her more with that. She always says they did. Apparently not. She lays there passive because she's 82 and trusts that they will do the right thing by her. I know better. I like Rick's suggestion that you prepare a list of questions and concerns and send it in ahead of your appointment. Elizabeth

tonybear

Oh my God, a doctor with a god complex
the doc i saw after i got my biop report of cancer had a god complex. i am native american and i don't show much emotion (unless i'm laughing). my wife is from san antonio tx, a mexican with some fire in the blood. she had already called the cancer centers of america and had some questions for the good doc. he got upset when she started asking medical questions. then she went off on him about him being the professional and the questions were because we needed information. i guess he had never ran into a verbal chain saw. we left and didn't go back there. i had my present doctor tell me. God doesn't mistake himself for a doctor and i don't mistake myself as God. a lot of these responces talk about always watching. it is now a habit with me. what i eat, how do i feel, did i take my drugs. it is a life style change for me. no more happy go lucky. i know i am blessed, i am trying to maintain my blessings.

blueroses

tonybear said:

Oh my God, a doctor with a god complex
the doc i saw after i got my biop report of cancer had a god complex. i am native american and i don't show much emotion (unless i'm laughing). my wife is from san antonio tx, a mexican with some fire in the blood. she had already called the cancer centers of america and had some questions for the good doc. he got upset when she started asking medical questions. then she went off on him about him being the professional and the questions were because we needed information. i guess he had never ran into a verbal chain saw. we left and didn't go back there. i had my present doctor tell me. God doesn't mistake himself for a doctor and i don't mistake myself as God. a lot of these responces talk about always watching. it is now a habit with me. what i eat, how do i feel, did i take my drugs. it is a life style change for me. no more happy go lucky. i know i am blessed, i am trying to maintain my blessings.

Happy you changed doctors
Hey Tonybear, Sorry to hear about the insensitivity of your former doctor but so happy you took a stand and moved to someone who you could actually get answers from. Many of us have come upon the 'God' complex in doctors and it always seems so strange to me because if it weren't for us patients handing them our symptoms they couldn't be effective doctors at all. So strange the way some of them act. Unfortunately today the medical field is swamped with patients now asking informed questions, not like the old days when a patient would go in and whatever the doctor said went - no questions asked - actually they were kind of treated like God - they healed and we had no hand in how we were treated or what we knew personally about our illnesses. The computer changed all of that as well as new treatments allowing us to live longer and with better quality of lives in many cases. We speak up now, armed with the knowledge we have acquired through the internet and other survivors stories.

Of course there are many many sensitive physicians and nurses and caregivers out there, no mistaking that, but it just takes one insensitive doc or nurse to really set us back - IF we allow it to. Our job I believe is that when we come across such a medical professional we, like you did, set them straight on our rights and our needs. Good going.
Blessings, Blueroses.