Just need someone to talk to

bahallock
bahallock Member Posts: 12
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have made it through the mastectomy and five chemo treatments. I have one more Chemo to go then I start radiation. Being by myself all the time is hard. Some days just need encouragement. My husband died of cancer 7 yrs ago, had to find a job at age 50. To tired most of the time to do anything but work. Then cancer. It was good to read that it isn't just me who is tired from the chemo. I keep expecting to feel better so I can do some things. I guess I need to give myself a break. My counts have never stayed above 2.3. This last time they went down to .4 and I am a bit anemic. I have a hard time convincing myself that I have a reason to be tired.

Comments

  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #2
    bahallock
    Wow you are coming down the homestretch. Sorry you lost your husband. It is no wonder that you are tired still working and all. What was the stage of your cancer? I also had a mastectomy and have done 4 chemo treatments. I have become a little more tired with each one. My counts have been good (thank God) but i still get very very tired. You do need to give yourself a break to rest. Your body has been through so much already.
    Wishing you the best. And thanks for posting. You will love all the help and inspiration you will receive from our sweet sisters in pink.
    God Bless,
    jackie
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #3
    When I'm tired I take a nap.
    When I'm tired I take a nap. I don't think about why I'm tired, I just am. In my case it's not the breast cancer or treatment (I'm 5 year survivor), it's because I have Parkinson's and I found other Parkies get tired too. I guess it's all that shaking.

    We on this message board like to talk a lot but we listen too. So come and talk all you want. If you need a real person maybe a support group in your area would help you. The good thing about online support is it is here any time of day or night.
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #4
    I slept or just watched tv a
    I slept or just watched tv a good portion of the time thru chemo. I had my most energy the week before my next tx so you're doing really good if you're working as well. And yes, please give yourself a huge break. Fatigue is very common.

    You say you're alone a lot, that can also add to feelings of fatigue and despondency. It helps to have someone "perk" us up with conversation, humour, love and support.
    Do you have friends or family? I'm glad you came to this site. You'll find lots of the above here and there is also a chat, I think every Tues night.

    It sounds like you certainly have had your share of challenges but you also sound like you're strong. You've been through so much already by yourself and are just now nearing the end of this particular segment of the journey. We will send you big hugs and warm sunshine to help you on your way.

    love
    jan
  • Joycelouise
    Joycelouise Member Posts: 482
    #5
    I played solitaire on the
    I played solitaire on the computer a lot during chemo. That was about it for my initiative and drive. I did go to work, but that was so I could pretend that I was normal and keep my mind active. When I got home I was through pretending. The biggest thing I did on weekends was move from the bedroom to the couch to watch TV. You gotta love yourself during chemo. That means no using the word should. Just be, be kind to yourself, be a member of Oprahs' audience, be hungry for a fast food hamburger, be.
    Good thing you came here - I wouldn't have made it through, even playing solitaire and watching TV without the lovely people here. And the jokes, mind you! I don't know what chemo you are doing but MGM once called taxol and taxotere - TAXOTERRORISM and that laugh was almost worth the price I had to pay to understand the joke.
    Hope you write and read often. Accept my best wishes for your health and well being, Love, Joyce
  • bahallock
    bahallock Member Posts: 12
    #6
    Joycelouise said:

    I played solitaire on the
    I played solitaire on the computer a lot during chemo. That was about it for my initiative and drive. I did go to work, but that was so I could pretend that I was normal and keep my mind active. When I got home I was through pretending. The biggest thing I did on weekends was move from the bedroom to the couch to watch TV. You gotta love yourself during chemo. That means no using the word should. Just be, be kind to yourself, be a member of Oprahs' audience, be hungry for a fast food hamburger, be.
    Good thing you came here - I wouldn't have made it through, even playing solitaire and watching TV without the lovely people here. And the jokes, mind you! I don't know what chemo you are doing but MGM once called taxol and taxotere - TAXOTERRORISM and that laugh was almost worth the price I had to pay to understand the joke.
    Hope you write and read often. Accept my best wishes for your health and well being, Love, Joyce

    Thank You!
    I am so glad I signed on to the discussion boards. The humor and the information have been wonderful. It really brightened my day. It gives me something to look forward to and permission to stop pushing myself so hard. My Chemo Dr. tried to send me back to work after I started chemo. My surgeon understood that being a cashier in a grocery store would be to much for me and he filled out all the paperwork for me. Bless him! There are days my Chemo Dr. makes me feel guilty but from now on I am going to ignore him. B
  • redriverartist
    redriverartist Member Posts: 54
    #7
    You've come such a long way
    You've come such a long way and been through so much. Listen to your body and rest. I found a lump in Oct, had modified radical 2 weeks later, had 4 rounds of adriamycin (red devil)/cytoxin and now 4 rounds of taxol. 7 down 1 to go as of today. Like you, my counts were in the toilet with the A/C even with the neupegen. Also, my blood pressure took a nose dive and scared us all. There were times I honestly did think I would live through. The taxol has been much easier on me and I'm working at the store more - even doing some housework. I gained some of the lbs back from the A/C, as well.

    The angels on this board will get you through a lot. But your faith in God and your prayers really, really work! Thank him for your good days and ask for his help in getting through the EVERY day.

    Blessings, Teresa
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #8
    bahallock said:

    Thank You!
    I am so glad I signed on to the discussion boards. The humor and the information have been wonderful. It really brightened my day. It gives me something to look forward to and permission to stop pushing myself so hard. My Chemo Dr. tried to send me back to work after I started chemo. My surgeon understood that being a cashier in a grocery store would be to much for me and he filled out all the paperwork for me. Bless him! There are days my Chemo Dr. makes me feel guilty but from now on I am going to ignore him. B

    Listen to Your Body, even if your doc doesn't!
    Hi, Bahallock, I join our other sisters and reassuring you that tiredness-extreme tiredness, even--is very common. It just does not go away but fluctuates through the cycle. Some days, closer to the end of the cycle, you will have more energy. It is perhaps the hardest thing to adapt to, not being able to do all you that you are accustomed to doing, or the things around the house that you see needs done.

    I just remember that my body (and mind) are fighting the most important battle--beating cancer. That is the priority, and so I try to listen and give my body/mind what it needs to win. I am so glad that your surgeon understands this, even if your oncologist doesn't. Maybe a round of chemo would teach him something!

    I confess many times I am too tired to even read or watch TV: I listen to CDs and snooze on on the couch. Of course, I also visit this board and our wonderful sisters.

    I hope you have a better day today and rest without guilt!
  • jeanne1948
    jeanne1948 Member Posts: 18
    #9
    you have been through much
    Just remember that cancer is the enemy and we are the fighters..
  • jeanne1948
    jeanne1948 Member Posts: 18
    #10
    you have been through so much
    keep the faith.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #11
    (((((HUGS)))))
    I just want to send you a cyber-hug~ bless your heart for coming in here and letting us nurture you! I am sorry as well about the loss of your husband~words can't express how sad that makes all of us. No doubt it is because we walk your journey with you, as you do with us, that makes us really understand each other and connect in important ways.

    Continue to post! Soon you will be finished with trreatment, and will be on the encouraging end rather than on the receiving end.

    Welcome to this amazing group!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • celinelvr
    celinelvr Member Posts: 30
    #12
    You have come to the right
    You have come to the right palce for someone to talk to Honey! Sorry to hear about your husband. I was a caregiver also - put myself on hold for my Mom... I know the isolation and lonliness. You may have depression too, I do. I'm always tired too. I hope you are doing better. Put yourself first NOW and concentrate on the fight. Rest as often as you can and get help if you need it - the heck with the house! ~ Milly
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #13
    Hi B ...
    As the others have said ... you've come to the right place if you need someone to talk to. We're all in this together ... and we're all here for each other.

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband and I sort of understand what it was like to start all over at the age of 50. My husband divorced me after 21 years of marriage and too had to start all over and it was very, very scary. I realized I didn't really know who I was. I'd always been a daughter, a wife, a sister, a mother etc. ... but it always involved who I was TO other people. It took a long time before I started to learn WHO I was and accepting who I was ... and looking at what I liked ... what I wanted to do etc. etc. So many choices and decisions. At times it was too overwhelming. But I had to see each decision as a part of my "growth" and "education" ... and learning about who I was. Now ... I've learned to accept who I am ... the good and the bad. I am ME ... and I like who I am.

    I just turned 65 last week and I can't tell you how "mature" I feel. By that ... I mean that this whole journey ... divorce ... working ... cancer ... all of it ... has proven to me how strong I really am. I don't have family nearby ... but they are only a phone call or email away. I have a few very good friends who have always been there for me ... and continue to be ... driving me to chemo and home etc. But ... the real strength comes from within. Just look what you've gone through so far.

    I too live alone (well ... me and my 2 cats) ... But ... I have also found that there are many times when I like being alone. I don't have DO anything I don't want to do. I don't have to cook, clean, make the bed, get dressed ... or anything. I can do whatever I want to do ... whenever I want to... and if I don't want to do ... I don't have to!

    Working full time does keep me busy and going during the week so I rather enjoy my quiet weekends ... reading and watching TV. I also do volunteer work. No matter how bad I might feel or how sorry I might feel for myself ... volunteering seems to put some meaning in all of this.

    Well ... I've rambled long enough ... but just know we are all here for you and for each other ... any time ... all you have to do is log in ... and we're here ...

    hugs.
    Teena

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