Feeling depressed ...
I have passed one of the major landmarks ... finshed chemo! YIPPEE! Next week I get my port removed and meet with the radiologist. My eyebrows are still thinning. Today I didn't like looking at my bald head in the mirror. Was just generally bummed out. My moods seem to swing ... today is low version. I am pleased that the landmarks are moving by, and 6 weeks of radiation 5 days a week are ahead of me, then reconstruction. Just bummed out. I guess I need a good kick in the behind.
Does anyone know what the alternative to tamoxifen is? I've been researching this drug and don't think I like the side effects.
Keep on smiling! ;-}
Comments
-
Woohooo Diva, you also have
Woohooo Diva, you also have much to celebrate. I didn't have to go through rads, but I was told it's a piece of cake next to chemo. You will have better days, just be prepared to experience tiredness while going through rads. I don't know what the alternative for Tamoxifen is but I've been on it for a year and it isn't too bad. No matter which meds you are on they all have some type of side effect. I have experienced weight gain and joint pain. The joint pain has improved now that I am working out. I try to go to the gym at least 5 days a week and have found it to help. The weight is being very difficult to take off but now that I'm working out at least I'm not gaining any more weight. Hugs, Lili0 -
If you are in menopause,
If you are in menopause, they can give you Aromasin or Arimidex. They have side effects also.
Congratulations on finishing chemo! I was depressed at first thinking about going in every day for radiation but I started looking forward to it. It was kind of like working but not getting paid. I'd see the same patients in the waiting room. I got some men's cotton undershirts to wear under my blouses because they were so soft against my radiated skin.0 -
I think a hug and a highMarcia527 said:If you are in menopause,
If you are in menopause, they can give you Aromasin or Arimidex. They have side effects also.
Congratulations on finishing chemo! I was depressed at first thinking about going in every day for radiation but I started looking forward to it. It was kind of like working but not getting paid. I'd see the same patients in the waiting room. I got some men's cotton undershirts to wear under my blouses because they were so soft against my radiated skin.
I think a hug and a high five to "done with chemo". I have completed 10 of my 30 radiations and it's not bad. It only takes a few minutes each day (the simulation takes a little longer) and they give you lotion or recommend ones for the radiation burns. I haven't had that problem yet but it comes later in treatment. I had pelvic radiation before and it had more side effects, but I didn't have too bad a time with skin issues. You usually meet with the doctor or nurse once a week and they will ask if you are having any problems. I didn't have chemo, but my sister did and this is a piece of cake in comparison. The men's cotton undershirts sound like a great idea Marcia. Hadn't thought of that. The down days just happen, don't they? Not even a rhyme or reason to them. But soon this too will be done. I think it is true that all the hormone drugs have some side effects but not everyone has then and again, the doctor can help you to deal with them. If you truly have problems then there is always the decision to stop. Again, congratulations on being done with the chemo.
Stef0 -
Thanks for all the greatfauxma said:I think a hug and a high
I think a hug and a high five to "done with chemo". I have completed 10 of my 30 radiations and it's not bad. It only takes a few minutes each day (the simulation takes a little longer) and they give you lotion or recommend ones for the radiation burns. I haven't had that problem yet but it comes later in treatment. I had pelvic radiation before and it had more side effects, but I didn't have too bad a time with skin issues. You usually meet with the doctor or nurse once a week and they will ask if you are having any problems. I didn't have chemo, but my sister did and this is a piece of cake in comparison. The men's cotton undershirts sound like a great idea Marcia. Hadn't thought of that. The down days just happen, don't they? Not even a rhyme or reason to them. But soon this too will be done. I think it is true that all the hormone drugs have some side effects but not everyone has then and again, the doctor can help you to deal with them. If you truly have problems then there is always the decision to stop. Again, congratulations on being done with the chemo.
Stef
Thanks for all the great input. I guess I will just enjoy this funk and try to find something constructive to do. I have fatigue from the chemo, so just figure the radiation will be similar. We live about an hour from where I go for treatment, so half of each day will be committed to this routine. My husband has been great at chauferring me everywhere. For the radiation I have friends who have offered to take me in. Also, the clinic has a couple of possibilities for overnight stays. I just need to remember to roll with the punches!
Marcia's recommendation of men's cotton underpants ... pretty good! I'll have to try that.0 -
Watch for a 'sunburn'....divablu said:Thanks for all the great
Thanks for all the great input. I guess I will just enjoy this funk and try to find something constructive to do. I have fatigue from the chemo, so just figure the radiation will be similar. We live about an hour from where I go for treatment, so half of each day will be committed to this routine. My husband has been great at chauferring me everywhere. For the radiation I have friends who have offered to take me in. Also, the clinic has a couple of possibilities for overnight stays. I just need to remember to roll with the punches!
Marcia's recommendation of men's cotton underpants ... pretty good! I'll have to try that.
During radiation, watch for the skin in the area to start turning red like a sunburn. When it does, ask your radiologist what he/she recommends...I used Aquaphor and Silvadene. If you ride herd on it early, it stays managable.
I am allergic to AloeVera. This is a lifesaver to most people, so you could also ask about it for your skin!
I scheduled my rads for late in the afternoon. Then went home. The only thing, other than the skin sensitivity, was that I was a bit tired. But NOTHING like when I was doing chemo...
As far as Tamoxifen, I have been taking it for 2 1/2 years. Now, I do not have my uterus, so the big concern of cancer there is not for me...but, other than the first 2 months, when I had 'melt downs' a few times a day, it's been no bother to me AT ALL. I had a choice of it, or the other, but the AI's (arimidex, etc) tend to reduce bone density and increase cholesterol. I was already osteoporotic from the chemo, and my cholesterol is normally on the high side, so I didn't want to make it any worse.
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Tamoxifen
Not everyone has bad reactions to Tamoxifen. Within 2 days of taking 1-20mg pill each day, I became a blubbering fool. Then it seemed like I worked through that, but about two more months into taking it that way, I started with more emotional ups and downs.
A few ladies on this board suggested I take it twice a day in 10 mg pills. I checked with my pharmacist to see if I could split my pill in half and take one in the am and one in the pm. He said it was okay. Within 2 days I felt SO MUCH better. The next time I saw my doctor she re-wrote the prescription so that I had 10mg tablets, twice a day.
You know, divablu, I was so strong during my treatments. I checked off the milestones and tried to make life as normal as possible for my kids. Then, I went through depression at the end and am now taking Effexor. But I recently realized that I'm grieving the me that I once was. And that's okay. In fact, it's good. I never really let myself do that during treatment. So rather than stuffing it under another milestone, I'm going to experience the grief, and then move on when I am ready. I can still smile, I can still laugh, I still praise my God in the midst of this storm. But in the quiet moments of the evening I am still grieving.
So, if you're wanting a good 'ol kick in the behind, you won't be getting it from me. Instead I say, "ride this wave, eventually it will crash onto the shore and your feet will be on solid ground once more."
Chelle0 -
undershirtsdivablu said:Thanks for all the great
Thanks for all the great input. I guess I will just enjoy this funk and try to find something constructive to do. I have fatigue from the chemo, so just figure the radiation will be similar. We live about an hour from where I go for treatment, so half of each day will be committed to this routine. My husband has been great at chauferring me everywhere. For the radiation I have friends who have offered to take me in. Also, the clinic has a couple of possibilities for overnight stays. I just need to remember to roll with the punches!
Marcia's recommendation of men's cotton underpants ... pretty good! I'll have to try that.
I recommended undershirts but underpants brings me to a funny story. A few years ago a lady and I got talking about underwear. She asked me if I'd ever worn a pair of men's underpants. She said they are so much more comfortable than womens. Now there is underpant envy.0 -
LOL Marcia, I bet they wouldMarcia527 said:undershirts
I recommended undershirts but underpants brings me to a funny story. A few years ago a lady and I got talking about underwear. She asked me if I'd ever worn a pair of men's underpants. She said they are so much more comfortable than womens. Now there is underpant envy.
LOL Marcia, I bet they would be comfortable. Imagine, no constrictions. Especially if they are boxers. Lili0 -
You are so right Chelle. IChellebug said:Tamoxifen
Not everyone has bad reactions to Tamoxifen. Within 2 days of taking 1-20mg pill each day, I became a blubbering fool. Then it seemed like I worked through that, but about two more months into taking it that way, I started with more emotional ups and downs.
A few ladies on this board suggested I take it twice a day in 10 mg pills. I checked with my pharmacist to see if I could split my pill in half and take one in the am and one in the pm. He said it was okay. Within 2 days I felt SO MUCH better. The next time I saw my doctor she re-wrote the prescription so that I had 10mg tablets, twice a day.
You know, divablu, I was so strong during my treatments. I checked off the milestones and tried to make life as normal as possible for my kids. Then, I went through depression at the end and am now taking Effexor. But I recently realized that I'm grieving the me that I once was. And that's okay. In fact, it's good. I never really let myself do that during treatment. So rather than stuffing it under another milestone, I'm going to experience the grief, and then move on when I am ready. I can still smile, I can still laugh, I still praise my God in the midst of this storm. But in the quiet moments of the evening I am still grieving.
So, if you're wanting a good 'ol kick in the behind, you won't be getting it from me. Instead I say, "ride this wave, eventually it will crash onto the shore and your feet will be on solid ground once more."
Chelle
You are so right Chelle. I think all or maybe most of us felt the same way. We needed to be strong to get through everything we were going through and didn't have time to grieve. I still look in the mirror and wish I was looking at the old me. And even though I thank God that I'm still here there is always that little nagging in the back of the mind. I'm supposing that with time, and after the grieving, it will get better. Hugs, Lili0 -
Well, I've got tears runningChellebug said:Tamoxifen
Not everyone has bad reactions to Tamoxifen. Within 2 days of taking 1-20mg pill each day, I became a blubbering fool. Then it seemed like I worked through that, but about two more months into taking it that way, I started with more emotional ups and downs.
A few ladies on this board suggested I take it twice a day in 10 mg pills. I checked with my pharmacist to see if I could split my pill in half and take one in the am and one in the pm. He said it was okay. Within 2 days I felt SO MUCH better. The next time I saw my doctor she re-wrote the prescription so that I had 10mg tablets, twice a day.
You know, divablu, I was so strong during my treatments. I checked off the milestones and tried to make life as normal as possible for my kids. Then, I went through depression at the end and am now taking Effexor. But I recently realized that I'm grieving the me that I once was. And that's okay. In fact, it's good. I never really let myself do that during treatment. So rather than stuffing it under another milestone, I'm going to experience the grief, and then move on when I am ready. I can still smile, I can still laugh, I still praise my God in the midst of this storm. But in the quiet moments of the evening I am still grieving.
So, if you're wanting a good 'ol kick in the behind, you won't be getting it from me. Instead I say, "ride this wave, eventually it will crash onto the shore and your feet will be on solid ground once more."
Chelle
Well, I've got tears running down my face after reading your note. Hit the spot. I still get freightened at the "unknown" of all this. And I'm not as strong and healthy as I was when it all started. I feel that I can't make any forward movement in my life until this is all over. Both my husband and I feel like we are in a holding pattern, waiting for the treatment and surgey to be completed. And I'm wondering if the cancer will be completely gone.
My mantra is "Spring's coming!" I'm figuring that by the end of April I will be through radiation and reconstruction. But there's days like today and I just don't know.
OK, no kick in the behind ... just will be. This too shall pass.
Thanks, Chelle for the note.0 -
There is life after cancerdivablu said:Well, I've got tears running
Well, I've got tears running down my face after reading your note. Hit the spot. I still get freightened at the "unknown" of all this. And I'm not as strong and healthy as I was when it all started. I feel that I can't make any forward movement in my life until this is all over. Both my husband and I feel like we are in a holding pattern, waiting for the treatment and surgey to be completed. And I'm wondering if the cancer will be completely gone.
My mantra is "Spring's coming!" I'm figuring that by the end of April I will be through radiation and reconstruction. But there's days like today and I just don't know.
OK, no kick in the behind ... just will be. This too shall pass.
Thanks, Chelle for the note.
There is life after cancer and hopefully you can see light at the end of the tunnel now that you're finished with chemo. That's quite a milestone! Most of us have gone through everything that you're experiencing now and it's okay to be emotionally and physically exhausted. Some day soon you'll be offering support to others who are newly diagnosed and beginning the journey. Good luck.0 -
Noticed the horses
I too have passed a landmark. Finished my chemo treatment a week ago today. Today's the first day I feel somewhat like myself. It feels wonderful. I hate my bald head too. Yet somehow it's oddly liberating. I can get myself ready so quickly now! And I bought a couple inexpensive, kinda wild, wigs which I alternate wearing on the days I feel OK. My eyebrows have thinned as well and they weren't that plush to begin with. My eyelashes too have thinned. But most days I've felt so badly I don't care how I look.
Yes, some days I'm totally depressed. I'm blaming everything on the drugs. They can't put all that poison into your system and not have the brain respond in some way. Then there are all the meds given to counteract all the possible side affects. They've got to contribute to state of mind, too. Main thing is not to blame yourself. Or think that you're not a "good" cancer patient. I have a theory about that one. It's a myth put out by the drug companies who make the chemo juice. Personally, I think I'm a darned good cancer patient, even though I'm tired most of the time, grouchy a lot, and depressed sometimes, too.
I meet with the radiologist for the first time Feb. 17. That will be a trying experience I'm sure. Every day for six weeks??? Geez. It's like a JOB.
When my journey began last August, I was told my cancer was caught early, I could have a lumpectomy, would probably not lose my lymph nodes. It would be a simple surgery followed by six weeks of radiation, followed by 5 years on tamoxifen. Well, I had to have a larger incision than thought, the sentinel node biopsy didn't work on me so they did a full axillary node dissection, AND I tested negative for hormone receptors so didn't qualify for tamoxifen but had to have chemo instead. WHAT???? But I'm done with my pity party for now cause I can see the pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel.
So, if you're looking for a good kick in the behind, it won't be from me. Feel what you feel when you feel it but don't feel badly about feeling it. It's a tough road for any cancer patient.
So, you have horses? I've got a retired 27 year old Appaloosa. He's living the good life on an equine retirement farm in western Kentucky and I haven't been to see him in several months cause of the cancer thing and the lousy winter we've been having all over Kentucky. He sends me pictures every month and he's assured me he's doing really well despite all the ice and cold. Can't wait to see him in the spring. If you know anything about Kentucky, you know how glorious spring is here. I think it's going to be extra special this spring because of the awful winter.
Write if you'd like.0 -
Superwoman unmasked or uncaped? Or bespectacled?Chellebug said:Tamoxifen
Not everyone has bad reactions to Tamoxifen. Within 2 days of taking 1-20mg pill each day, I became a blubbering fool. Then it seemed like I worked through that, but about two more months into taking it that way, I started with more emotional ups and downs.
A few ladies on this board suggested I take it twice a day in 10 mg pills. I checked with my pharmacist to see if I could split my pill in half and take one in the am and one in the pm. He said it was okay. Within 2 days I felt SO MUCH better. The next time I saw my doctor she re-wrote the prescription so that I had 10mg tablets, twice a day.
You know, divablu, I was so strong during my treatments. I checked off the milestones and tried to make life as normal as possible for my kids. Then, I went through depression at the end and am now taking Effexor. But I recently realized that I'm grieving the me that I once was. And that's okay. In fact, it's good. I never really let myself do that during treatment. So rather than stuffing it under another milestone, I'm going to experience the grief, and then move on when I am ready. I can still smile, I can still laugh, I still praise my God in the midst of this storm. But in the quiet moments of the evening I am still grieving.
So, if you're wanting a good 'ol kick in the behind, you won't be getting it from me. Instead I say, "ride this wave, eventually it will crash onto the shore and your feet will be on solid ground once more."
Chelle
Chelle, I never cried, not once, all through diagnosis and tx. But oh did I ever fall apart afterwards. I'm seeing a counselor who really helps me to work through all the grief and turn the waterworks on. Music helps me. Prayer helps me (although I can't quite figure out what this lesson is all about). I also am taking Effexor and I am a little less depressed and anxious. I have more good days. I just got my dosage boosted, but I'm not sure it's going to totally do the job.
Arimidex can contribute to depression, too. I wonder if it would help to split those doses to twice a day? Anyone know?0 -
Love your smile!lynn1950 said:Superwoman unmasked or uncaped? Or bespectacled?
Chelle, I never cried, not once, all through diagnosis and tx. But oh did I ever fall apart afterwards. I'm seeing a counselor who really helps me to work through all the grief and turn the waterworks on. Music helps me. Prayer helps me (although I can't quite figure out what this lesson is all about). I also am taking Effexor and I am a little less depressed and anxious. I have more good days. I just got my dosage boosted, but I'm not sure it's going to totally do the job.
Arimidex can contribute to depression, too. I wonder if it would help to split those doses to twice a day? Anyone know?
I just had to say that I love your title to this entry, Lynn. It made me smile. And I love the picture you added.
I'm glad to hear that you're having more good days. You and I started our depressions around the same time. I'm having better days as well.
I don't know about splitting the Arimidex. Wouldn't that be something, though? My doctors never mentioned splitting my Tamoxifen. I had to discover that tidbit on my own. Sometimes being your own advocate can be exhausting. I hope you do find some answers.
Love,
Chelle0 -
ThanksChellebug said:Love your smile!
I just had to say that I love your title to this entry, Lynn. It made me smile. And I love the picture you added.
I'm glad to hear that you're having more good days. You and I started our depressions around the same time. I'm having better days as well.
I don't know about splitting the Arimidex. Wouldn't that be something, though? My doctors never mentioned splitting my Tamoxifen. I had to discover that tidbit on my own. Sometimes being your own advocate can be exhausting. I hope you do find some answers.
Love,
Chelle
Today is an anxious day (they come and go), and it helps to "hear" your posts. Hope today is a good day for you. Love, Lynn0 -
Thanks ....Sittintrot said:Noticed the horses
I too have passed a landmark. Finished my chemo treatment a week ago today. Today's the first day I feel somewhat like myself. It feels wonderful. I hate my bald head too. Yet somehow it's oddly liberating. I can get myself ready so quickly now! And I bought a couple inexpensive, kinda wild, wigs which I alternate wearing on the days I feel OK. My eyebrows have thinned as well and they weren't that plush to begin with. My eyelashes too have thinned. But most days I've felt so badly I don't care how I look.
Yes, some days I'm totally depressed. I'm blaming everything on the drugs. They can't put all that poison into your system and not have the brain respond in some way. Then there are all the meds given to counteract all the possible side affects. They've got to contribute to state of mind, too. Main thing is not to blame yourself. Or think that you're not a "good" cancer patient. I have a theory about that one. It's a myth put out by the drug companies who make the chemo juice. Personally, I think I'm a darned good cancer patient, even though I'm tired most of the time, grouchy a lot, and depressed sometimes, too.
I meet with the radiologist for the first time Feb. 17. That will be a trying experience I'm sure. Every day for six weeks??? Geez. It's like a JOB.
When my journey began last August, I was told my cancer was caught early, I could have a lumpectomy, would probably not lose my lymph nodes. It would be a simple surgery followed by six weeks of radiation, followed by 5 years on tamoxifen. Well, I had to have a larger incision than thought, the sentinel node biopsy didn't work on me so they did a full axillary node dissection, AND I tested negative for hormone receptors so didn't qualify for tamoxifen but had to have chemo instead. WHAT???? But I'm done with my pity party for now cause I can see the pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel.
So, if you're looking for a good kick in the behind, it won't be from me. Feel what you feel when you feel it but don't feel badly about feeling it. It's a tough road for any cancer patient.
So, you have horses? I've got a retired 27 year old Appaloosa. He's living the good life on an equine retirement farm in western Kentucky and I haven't been to see him in several months cause of the cancer thing and the lousy winter we've been having all over Kentucky. He sends me pictures every month and he's assured me he's doing really well despite all the ice and cold. Can't wait to see him in the spring. If you know anything about Kentucky, you know how glorious spring is here. I think it's going to be extra special this spring because of the awful winter.
Write if you'd like.
I see my radiologist on Friday the 13th ... how funny is that! Actually, Friday the 13th is a good day for me, that is our anniversary. How funny is that!!!!
We need to keep in touch and share notes about our radiologist appointments. It seems we are pretty similar in the treatment schedule.
My journey actually started on June 27 (my birthday ... another funny moment) I found a large lump in my left breast and got right in for a mammogram and ultrasound that showed no lump at all! September 12 I had a mastectomy and they removed 21 lymph nodes, of which 12 were positive for cancer.
Anyway, January 21 was my last chemo and I was elated. Then came an attack of the blues. I have been on Effexor for a while, but haven't wanted to raise the dosage. I better seriously check into that.
I still wonder about my recovery. This last summer I was healthier than I had been in years ... strong, riding, active ... Some days I wonder how or if I will get back to that.
Horses ... I have two Arabs. The grey is around 15 years old, Arab/Quarter Horse mix and a wonderful cranky personality! I love her for that! She is a great trail horse, and definitely the lead mare. My other horse, the bay about 8 years old, mare, is Arab and an absolute delight! I love her to death! A week ago my husband took me and the horses to a friend's indoor arena and I rode Baby Diva. She was a delight! Riding is better than Prozac for me! It felt great! Short but great. I am going riding again tomorrow. We are in Montana in the Bitterroot Valley, cold but the snow has left for awhile. Good time to do some tuning up before Spring.
During my 6 weeks of radiation we will be meeting with a doctor about reconstructive sugery. I figure that will fall sometime in April. And by May I will be a new woman! One breast silcone the other au natural!
I do see the light at the end of the tunnel, some days it gets clouded in fog. This is a long journey we are all on, I'm praying to be cancer free for at least 10 years! This cancer stuff is tough, for me anyway, so much unknown. I like my oncologist, but the answers are not as clear as I would like, so I seem to keep asking him the same questions over and over again. Bless Dr. Thomas for his patience!
Keep in touch ... how do we do that with this blog??? I will let you know about my appointment with the radiologist.0 -
Giddy Up Diva!!!!! *Big Smile*divablu said:Thanks ....
I see my radiologist on Friday the 13th ... how funny is that! Actually, Friday the 13th is a good day for me, that is our anniversary. How funny is that!!!!
We need to keep in touch and share notes about our radiologist appointments. It seems we are pretty similar in the treatment schedule.
My journey actually started on June 27 (my birthday ... another funny moment) I found a large lump in my left breast and got right in for a mammogram and ultrasound that showed no lump at all! September 12 I had a mastectomy and they removed 21 lymph nodes, of which 12 were positive for cancer.
Anyway, January 21 was my last chemo and I was elated. Then came an attack of the blues. I have been on Effexor for a while, but haven't wanted to raise the dosage. I better seriously check into that.
I still wonder about my recovery. This last summer I was healthier than I had been in years ... strong, riding, active ... Some days I wonder how or if I will get back to that.
Horses ... I have two Arabs. The grey is around 15 years old, Arab/Quarter Horse mix and a wonderful cranky personality! I love her for that! She is a great trail horse, and definitely the lead mare. My other horse, the bay about 8 years old, mare, is Arab and an absolute delight! I love her to death! A week ago my husband took me and the horses to a friend's indoor arena and I rode Baby Diva. She was a delight! Riding is better than Prozac for me! It felt great! Short but great. I am going riding again tomorrow. We are in Montana in the Bitterroot Valley, cold but the snow has left for awhile. Good time to do some tuning up before Spring.
During my 6 weeks of radiation we will be meeting with a doctor about reconstructive sugery. I figure that will fall sometime in April. And by May I will be a new woman! One breast silcone the other au natural!
I do see the light at the end of the tunnel, some days it gets clouded in fog. This is a long journey we are all on, I'm praying to be cancer free for at least 10 years! This cancer stuff is tough, for me anyway, so much unknown. I like my oncologist, but the answers are not as clear as I would like, so I seem to keep asking him the same questions over and over again. Bless Dr. Thomas for his patience!
Keep in touch ... how do we do that with this blog??? I will let you know about my appointment with the radiologist.
Actually first smile of the day here and its almost 6:30 PM here....
I used to have TN Walkers... boy, do I miss them ....
I have been reluctant to post on this subject because Im so stubborn, for one, and because I keep saying this will pass...
I finished my Adrimycin/Cytoxan rounds in Nov.2008- had a bit of a break before my Onc put me on Arimidex........... I have to say that during that break ... I started feeling like my "old" self...then about 4 & 1/2 weeks into the Arimidex.. I started having a terrible time.. bone pain, muscle aches, insomnia, mood swings all the fun stuff! Ha! I have always been very active til this hit... you said it right when you said "holding pattern"
Well I saw my onc this week told him that I tried to continue taking the Arimidex even tho I was moving like I was 150 yrs old, not sleeping, and deeper than deeply depressed. He took me off the Arimidex for 2 weeks.... which its only been a couple days and the bone pain is a little better....the depression is getting worse ... and I keep thinking its because once the 2 weeks is over he is going to put me on either Femera or Aromasin ... Im stubbling here because I want to just scream ... all 3 of these drugs have the same side effects!!!! Why bother...and not only does he think I will be on it for 5 yrs.. he keeps saying maybe longer... I am seriously thinking of telling him Thank you but no thank you... these drugs have some major risk factors....0 -
private maildivablu said:Thanks ....
I see my radiologist on Friday the 13th ... how funny is that! Actually, Friday the 13th is a good day for me, that is our anniversary. How funny is that!!!!
We need to keep in touch and share notes about our radiologist appointments. It seems we are pretty similar in the treatment schedule.
My journey actually started on June 27 (my birthday ... another funny moment) I found a large lump in my left breast and got right in for a mammogram and ultrasound that showed no lump at all! September 12 I had a mastectomy and they removed 21 lymph nodes, of which 12 were positive for cancer.
Anyway, January 21 was my last chemo and I was elated. Then came an attack of the blues. I have been on Effexor for a while, but haven't wanted to raise the dosage. I better seriously check into that.
I still wonder about my recovery. This last summer I was healthier than I had been in years ... strong, riding, active ... Some days I wonder how or if I will get back to that.
Horses ... I have two Arabs. The grey is around 15 years old, Arab/Quarter Horse mix and a wonderful cranky personality! I love her for that! She is a great trail horse, and definitely the lead mare. My other horse, the bay about 8 years old, mare, is Arab and an absolute delight! I love her to death! A week ago my husband took me and the horses to a friend's indoor arena and I rode Baby Diva. She was a delight! Riding is better than Prozac for me! It felt great! Short but great. I am going riding again tomorrow. We are in Montana in the Bitterroot Valley, cold but the snow has left for awhile. Good time to do some tuning up before Spring.
During my 6 weeks of radiation we will be meeting with a doctor about reconstructive sugery. I figure that will fall sometime in April. And by May I will be a new woman! One breast silcone the other au natural!
I do see the light at the end of the tunnel, some days it gets clouded in fog. This is a long journey we are all on, I'm praying to be cancer free for at least 10 years! This cancer stuff is tough, for me anyway, so much unknown. I like my oncologist, but the answers are not as clear as I would like, so I seem to keep asking him the same questions over and over again. Bless Dr. Thomas for his patience!
Keep in touch ... how do we do that with this blog??? I will let you know about my appointment with the radiologist.
You can keep in touch by PM (private mail). Go to 'home' and click on 'inbox' and click on 'write a new message'. Just put the user name of the person you want to send email to. You can email and it will be more private than on this message board.0 -
one down two to go
Hey D,
Well, the chemo is finished and then think step 3, the reconstruction. I have just about finished mine with the last tatooing and might I say, the "girls" are bodacious. I know when I finished the chemo, everyone wanted to celebrate but I sure didn't feel like celebrating because it is not the "end" of my treatment both phyically but also mentally and emotionally. All of that the sisters here totally understand although each of us have a different yet similiar experience. I now have my hair back and yes it did come back in another color but you know, I am getting to use to this. Some stated I could dye it back to "my" color but I decided...this is "my" color now. You have good days and bad days so just live within the day and not the tomorrows. Try to watch some old movies, funny movies, read the Mitford" series. They are great and simple read. Not about anything but town folk talk but you can connect to all the characters. A good escape from all this treatment. Take care and we are here. Angela0 -
Go ahead and scream! I knowIrishwhispers said:Giddy Up Diva!!!!! *Big Smile*
Actually first smile of the day here and its almost 6:30 PM here....
I used to have TN Walkers... boy, do I miss them ....
I have been reluctant to post on this subject because Im so stubborn, for one, and because I keep saying this will pass...
I finished my Adrimycin/Cytoxan rounds in Nov.2008- had a bit of a break before my Onc put me on Arimidex........... I have to say that during that break ... I started feeling like my "old" self...then about 4 & 1/2 weeks into the Arimidex.. I started having a terrible time.. bone pain, muscle aches, insomnia, mood swings all the fun stuff! Ha! I have always been very active til this hit... you said it right when you said "holding pattern"
Well I saw my onc this week told him that I tried to continue taking the Arimidex even tho I was moving like I was 150 yrs old, not sleeping, and deeper than deeply depressed. He took me off the Arimidex for 2 weeks.... which its only been a couple days and the bone pain is a little better....the depression is getting worse ... and I keep thinking its because once the 2 weeks is over he is going to put me on either Femera or Aromasin ... Im stubbling here because I want to just scream ... all 3 of these drugs have the same side effects!!!! Why bother...and not only does he think I will be on it for 5 yrs.. he keeps saying maybe longer... I am seriously thinking of telling him Thank you but no thank you... these drugs have some major risk factors....
Go ahead and scream! I know I would. I sure feel your frustration. At the end of my Arimycin chemo I did just curl up in a ball and cry and scream. My poor husband!
A day at a time. What a tough road this is for us all. I hope one of these meds works better for you. What does your oncologist say about stopping them?0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.8K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 397 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 792 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 237 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 61 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 539 Sarcoma
- 730 Skin Cancer
- 653 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards