Any good news?
Since being first diagnosed all i wanted was some good news, you know its stage one...no..lymph involvement....but oh no. And they talk about survival rates, show me someone that has survived 10 years, 20 years with the same prognosis as me. Since the end of treatment, celebrations were spoke about, and thought that was what i wanted but on that last day i felt 'lost at sea' and would happily continue with chemo weekly, cause this feeling of anger, sadness and loneliness is much worse than chemo.
Sorry about that rant, but its feels good just to write it all down.
Lyn
Comments
-
Welcome Lyn!
So glad you joined our group of courageous ladies in Pink.. I'm sorry i can't be of much help to you since i just had my masectomy Dec. 2nd 08, I also had positive lymph nodes and stage 3. I am day 17 past my first chemo treatment..i will have this for 6 mo.'s followed by 6 weeks radiation. I like to think of myself as a survivor already, and i know i have a long fight in front of me. You are already a survivor Lyn and so am i. We became survivors the moment we were diagnosed.
I am glad you joined because this wonderful group of women has been such a great help to me. Just hearing their stories, valuable lessons and answers that they pass along to all of us is such a support to me. I would also love to hear their wonderful stories of survivorship. What an inspiration it is to us just getting started. Keep up the strength Lyn! you are already a survivor!!
God Bless,
Jackie0 -
Welcome......Rant and All!! :-)
I was stage 2B with positive nodes as well...did the surgery, chemo and rads, and this month I finish my 5 years of Arimidex. I am NOT a Pollyanna~ but I have been around long enough to know that days are good and days are bad. I have WAY more good days than bad ones, I am happy to say!
Someone posted today that the healthy husband of one of our Sisters in Arms died suddenly of a massive heart attack. No symptoms, no warning. She is the cancer survivor,and now a widow.
Cancer, and thus mortality has indeed tapped us on the shoulder. It gives us a certain "awareness", doesn't it? It makes me either hide or participate, as the mood strikes me. Thankfully, I participate MORE now than I ever have. With apologies to the ones in here who have heard this a Zillion times...in the past 4 months I entered( and finished!) a half-marathon, went to Cabo San Lucas Mexico where I swam with dolphins, rode on the dorsal fin, ziplined, took salsa lessons, entered a ping pong tournament, sang karaoke in a bar~ and last week I braved the 3 million others and went to the Inaguration! For the record, I will be 60 in August, so it is not as if I even have youth on my side. I simply have attitude, and a desire to "do stuff"! And why not? If not now... when? I also volunteer and feed the hungry, and am a regular contributor to this site.
As mmontero so correctly says: Welcome to the club you never wanted to join! We welcome you with open arms and open hearts...we truly know your feelings, as we experience them ourselves. It is a great place to feel understood and have the freedom to rant!
Come in anytime...it is nice to have you here with us.
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Welcome Lyn to the club none
Welcome Lyn to the club none of us wanted to join. I am glad you found us and that our posts have helped enlighten you. I hope to see many more posts from you. You can rant and rave all you want as that is what is so good about this board, that you will find lots of support. We've all walked in your shoes and know exactly what you are going through. I was diagnosed in June 2007 and had a radical mastectomy. Went through 8 rounds of CAF and reconstruction. I still have my down days but the majority are good days. You will find that with time, it does get better. Glad you're here. Hugs, Lili0 -
Will I do?
Well, I lost both breasts at different times with lymph nodes involved both times. Two separate courses of chemo, then rads and tamoxifen.
All that was 22+ years ago. Still here and still kikkin. Turned 60 this summer.
It does happen. I wish the same and even better good news for you.0 -
Lynn with 2 ns
Hi Lyn - I had surgery last April. Grade 3 tumor, 6 out of 14 nodes involved and I feel sad, angry, lonely and anxious. I'm with you - the aftermath or whatever this is, is worse than the the chemo and rads. Part of it is not having the vitality that I was accustomed to before my dx and part of it is feeling overwhelmed by all the changes in my life. This is a good place to come and let it out. People here understand and give encouragement. They are guides and support to getting through this. We also share information about continuing issues such as lymphedema, reconstruction, aromatase inhibitors, tamoxifen...you name it. I am so glad that you are here. Lynn0 -
Welcome, Lyn
I have a grade 3 tumor as well and it is not stage I either. I am also triple negative for receptors, which means that drugs such as Tamoxifen will not help me. Yet for all that, my doctors (oncologist, surgeon, and radiologist among others) are confident that I will make it through. No one has told me to "pack my bags" or "prepare for the worst." Everyone is optimist and confident, and so am I. Lyn, you will be fine, too. You have already been through so much with your treatments, and yes I understand how hard it must be to now be without the anchor or "safety net" of constant doctor supervision. But let this board and your other support systems be your safety net now. Nothing is too awful to post here. The ladies here have felt and seen it all, and many have stories of survival that are so inspiring, lymph nodes involved and all. Everyone is happy to have you here.
Mimi0 -
Thanks Jackie, for your warmrjjj said:Welcome Lyn!
So glad you joined our group of courageous ladies in Pink.. I'm sorry i can't be of much help to you since i just had my masectomy Dec. 2nd 08, I also had positive lymph nodes and stage 3. I am day 17 past my first chemo treatment..i will have this for 6 mo.'s followed by 6 weeks radiation. I like to think of myself as a survivor already, and i know i have a long fight in front of me. You are already a survivor Lyn and so am i. We became survivors the moment we were diagnosed.
I am glad you joined because this wonderful group of women has been such a great help to me. Just hearing their stories, valuable lessons and answers that they pass along to all of us is such a support to me. I would also love to hear their wonderful stories of survivorship. What an inspiration it is to us just getting started. Keep up the strength Lyn! you are already a survivor!!
God Bless,
Jackie
Thanks Jackie, for your warm welcome. considering how cold it is here in bonnie scotland. All alone now, kids in bed and thinking those thoughts i dont want to think, then i put on computer and feel better already.
Just think one done for you already, you will be amazed how quickly this year goes. I still feel as if last year didnt take place and a year down the line already. Chemo went okay for me, had my bad days but as single parent to 3, felt i had to keep it normal for them, so no matter how i felt i got up took them to school and clubs. From that determination it gave me the strength to fight whatever comes my way.
Again thanks and it will be nice to hear how you progress.0 -
Yes it is healing, never didChellebug said:Express yourself without fear
No need to apologize. It does feel good to write it down. Keep on writing, Lyn! Let those emotions out. It is very healing indeed!
Yes it is healing, never did a journal when diagnosed- as some suggested- found it to be a bit morbid. But did right down thoughts and feelings, even just words. But this is much better someone is answering my rants now.
Thanks0 -
Good for you doing all thatchenheart said:Welcome......Rant and All!! :-)
I was stage 2B with positive nodes as well...did the surgery, chemo and rads, and this month I finish my 5 years of Arimidex. I am NOT a Pollyanna~ but I have been around long enough to know that days are good and days are bad. I have WAY more good days than bad ones, I am happy to say!
Someone posted today that the healthy husband of one of our Sisters in Arms died suddenly of a massive heart attack. No symptoms, no warning. She is the cancer survivor,and now a widow.
Cancer, and thus mortality has indeed tapped us on the shoulder. It gives us a certain "awareness", doesn't it? It makes me either hide or participate, as the mood strikes me. Thankfully, I participate MORE now than I ever have. With apologies to the ones in here who have heard this a Zillion times...in the past 4 months I entered( and finished!) a half-marathon, went to Cabo San Lucas Mexico where I swam with dolphins, rode on the dorsal fin, ziplined, took salsa lessons, entered a ping pong tournament, sang karaoke in a bar~ and last week I braved the 3 million others and went to the Inaguration! For the record, I will be 60 in August, so it is not as if I even have youth on my side. I simply have attitude, and a desire to "do stuff"! And why not? If not now... when? I also volunteer and feed the hungry, and am a regular contributor to this site.
As mmontero so correctly says: Welcome to the club you never wanted to join! We welcome you with open arms and open hearts...we truly know your feelings, as we experience them ourselves. It is a great place to feel understood and have the freedom to rant!
Come in anytime...it is nice to have you here with us.
Hugs,
Claudia
Good for you doing all that exciting stuff, wish i could find the time. If anything good has come of this (except realising my partner was unsupportive and selfish) it has to be the small things in life. My friend introduced me to plants and gardening last year, more in an effort not to hide indoors and i cant believe how much joy it brings to see something grow. I planted 12 giant sunflowers and gave some to friend with instructions on how to nurture it- it was a bit of a metaphor (about me)- and was interested who would take the job seriously. It all coincided with my treatment and how they reacted to their 'named' sunflower sometimes was very similar to how they were feeling about me.0 -
Thanks for your support andmmontero38 said:Welcome Lyn to the club none
Welcome Lyn to the club none of us wanted to join. I am glad you found us and that our posts have helped enlighten you. I hope to see many more posts from you. You can rant and rave all you want as that is what is so good about this board, that you will find lots of support. We've all walked in your shoes and know exactly what you are going through. I was diagnosed in June 2007 and had a radical mastectomy. Went through 8 rounds of CAF and reconstruction. I still have my down days but the majority are good days. You will find that with time, it does get better. Glad you're here. Hugs, Lili
Thanks for your support and yes i am sure i will continue to rant and visit the boards.
Did you have recostruction immediately after your mastectomy? and what type, i am still trying to decide.0 -
Yes you will dozahalene said:Will I do?
Well, I lost both breasts at different times with lymph nodes involved both times. Two separate courses of chemo, then rads and tamoxifen.
All that was 22+ years ago. Still here and still kikkin. Turned 60 this summer.
It does happen. I wish the same and even better good news for you.
Thanks for that, you have helped. Its nice to have some positive and a little glimer of litght in all this darkness that i have been feeling.0 -
and no 'e'lynn1950 said:Lynn with 2 ns
Hi Lyn - I had surgery last April. Grade 3 tumor, 6 out of 14 nodes involved and I feel sad, angry, lonely and anxious. I'm with you - the aftermath or whatever this is, is worse than the the chemo and rads. Part of it is not having the vitality that I was accustomed to before my dx and part of it is feeling overwhelmed by all the changes in my life. This is a good place to come and let it out. People here understand and give encouragement. They are guides and support to getting through this. We also share information about continuing issues such as lymphedema, reconstruction, aromatase inhibitors, tamoxifen...you name it. I am so glad that you are here. Lynn
Same name and very similar findings at 3 months apart. I know i am now not alone, thanks for your suppport and i too am glad i am here - cause if i wasnt here i would be on the internet/ebay buying, with the philosophy 'life is too short' but believe me my bank balance is too! ah well.0 -
Thanks for your posting, andmimivac said:Welcome, Lyn
I have a grade 3 tumor as well and it is not stage I either. I am also triple negative for receptors, which means that drugs such as Tamoxifen will not help me. Yet for all that, my doctors (oncologist, surgeon, and radiologist among others) are confident that I will make it through. No one has told me to "pack my bags" or "prepare for the worst." Everyone is optimist and confident, and so am I. Lyn, you will be fine, too. You have already been through so much with your treatments, and yes I understand how hard it must be to now be without the anchor or "safety net" of constant doctor supervision. But let this board and your other support systems be your safety net now. Nothing is too awful to post here. The ladies here have felt and seen it all, and many have stories of survival that are so inspiring, lymph nodes involved and all. Everyone is happy to have you here.
Mimi
Thanks for your posting, and yes i think i have found the best safety net in you all. And you look good bald, my hair is back at that 'in between stage' cant do anything with it. I am glad but its all the other places - you get used to not having hair - and now its out with the razor and back to waxing!0 -
Skelfskelf said:Thanks for your posting, and
Thanks for your posting, and yes i think i have found the best safety net in you all. And you look good bald, my hair is back at that 'in between stage' cant do anything with it. I am glad but its all the other places - you get used to not having hair - and now its out with the razor and back to waxing!
Hi. I am the room Sassnach (yeah, bet I spelled that wrong too) Whingeing Pom (brit) So pleased to meet you. You sound as though you went through exactly the same as me, FEC Taxotare etc. Horrible Innit?..I live in Canada so we also have the same cold weather LOL. My hair is just dreadful, like you said, in between... I look like a scarecrow, but better than bald. As for waxing....Ewwwwwwwww I'm growing the hairs on my legs as winter insulation, with any luck I'll be on par with those Clydesdale Horses within a month.
PS. Rant away...it's true, so tell it! Big HUG! Julia0 -
welcome
Hi Lyn, welcome! while reading your post I am so very impressed with your strength. You have gone through so much and all the while kept strong for your kids. I hope you make time to pamper yourself too.
As others have said, this is a great, warm, caring place to be. I can relate to your feelings of fear and being lost at sea. I did'nt want chemo to end either(don't get me wrong, I hated it)but I felt as though as long as I was getting chemo nothing bad could happen, that is cancer wise.
Chen really inspires me and I am hoping that like her, as we get a little farther away from diagnosis we will start to feel better. I am more than 2 yrs. on but am still struggling a bit. You will make it, and eventually have more and more better days.
Great to meet you! Eil0 -
WelcomeEil4186 said:welcome
Hi Lyn, welcome! while reading your post I am so very impressed with your strength. You have gone through so much and all the while kept strong for your kids. I hope you make time to pamper yourself too.
As others have said, this is a great, warm, caring place to be. I can relate to your feelings of fear and being lost at sea. I did'nt want chemo to end either(don't get me wrong, I hated it)but I felt as though as long as I was getting chemo nothing bad could happen, that is cancer wise.
Chen really inspires me and I am hoping that like her, as we get a little farther away from diagnosis we will start to feel better. I am more than 2 yrs. on but am still struggling a bit. You will make it, and eventually have more and more better days.
Great to meet you! Eil
Hi Lyn, I just wanted to welcome you. Also to say rant all you want that's what we are here for. I have found everyone's listening ear so helpful. Take Care, Nancy0 -
Jesus and CompanyEil4186 said:welcome
Hi Lyn, welcome! while reading your post I am so very impressed with your strength. You have gone through so much and all the while kept strong for your kids. I hope you make time to pamper yourself too.
As others have said, this is a great, warm, caring place to be. I can relate to your feelings of fear and being lost at sea. I did'nt want chemo to end either(don't get me wrong, I hated it)but I felt as though as long as I was getting chemo nothing bad could happen, that is cancer wise.
Chen really inspires me and I am hoping that like her, as we get a little farther away from diagnosis we will start to feel better. I am more than 2 yrs. on but am still struggling a bit. You will make it, and eventually have more and more better days.
Great to meet you! Eil
It occurs to me that we are very much like Jesus' diciples....bear with me on this one!
You know how brave, strong, determined, encouraging, inspiring,(thanks Eil!) doubtful, not without fear, and wondering how and why we were "chosen" to walk this path we all are. And we display all of these traits and more in a place we never saw ourselves and we oftentimes don't feel up to the challenge. I just thought of the "ordinary" men living in Israel, working, raising families, doing everyday things, who also found themselves doing extraordinary things.....and making history, as well! They had no special training, education, wealth, or anything which made them willing to face uncertainty with such fierceness. Just like us!!!
I think maybe we didn't realize we had such amazing traits, just as those 2000 years ago in the Middle East didn't know they did either, until put to the test! And the word diciple? From which we get the word discipline? It means "one who is taught"...and we have most certainly learned a lot on this journey, haven't we? And the have the honor of teaching those who follow us in here how to exhibit these traits too!
Ok...enough expounding! LOL
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Yeah, all that...but.....chenheart said:Jesus and Company
It occurs to me that we are very much like Jesus' diciples....bear with me on this one!
You know how brave, strong, determined, encouraging, inspiring,(thanks Eil!) doubtful, not without fear, and wondering how and why we were "chosen" to walk this path we all are. And we display all of these traits and more in a place we never saw ourselves and we oftentimes don't feel up to the challenge. I just thought of the "ordinary" men living in Israel, working, raising families, doing everyday things, who also found themselves doing extraordinary things.....and making history, as well! They had no special training, education, wealth, or anything which made them willing to face uncertainty with such fierceness. Just like us!!!
I think maybe we didn't realize we had such amazing traits, just as those 2000 years ago in the Middle East didn't know they did either, until put to the test! And the word diciple? From which we get the word discipline? It means "one who is taught"...and we have most certainly learned a lot on this journey, haven't we? And the have the honor of teaching those who follow us in here how to exhibit these traits too!
Ok...enough expounding! LOL
Hugs,
Claudia
Cahones...all of us...and the pure hatred of losing a fight, any fight!!!! It's an ego thing...ROFL!
Hugs, Kathi0
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