Pink Ribbon yuk

dbs1673
dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Well here it is...Breast Cancer awareness month. If one more person comes up to me and asks if they can put my name on something as "a survivor" or ask me to contribute because "well we just thought YOU would want to" I will scream. They just don't get it that for us it is not just a "month", it is breast cancer awareness every day. I have participated in a BC walk for the past 4 years and I will do so again this year but because it's something I've been doing. I was diagnosed in May, had a double mas in June and have another week of radiation. I'm at the point of radiation where I need "boosts" a more localized, concentrated area of radiation. I thought Friday would be my last but learned yesterday that I need an extra 3 days of treatment. That's not so much (I said in my head) but I sobbed on the table. I don't know if I will ever view myself as a survivor. All this and there still are no guarantees. My skin is so sore, pealing, itchy ( my dr suggested taking Claritan for the itching and it really does help) and just plain ugly. I'll let nature take 6-8 weeks to heal this mess then when it's better I'll start over by having my expanders removed and the implants. That should get me close to January. Again there will never be just a breast cancer awareness month, it will be a lifetime. I sure hope it doesn't take until January for me to pull myself out of this funk. Everyone sees me as so positive but I feel anything but. Thanks friends for listening.
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Comments

  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    Not easy getting a cancer
    Not easy getting a cancer diagnosis is it? Those that haven't walked in our shoes don't realize what it's like to live with the uncertainty of a cancer diagnosis. They mean well but they just don't understand. The fear of the unknown, the mutilations of our bodies, the bi-yearly tests and waiting for the results, and the what ifs. I think the what ifs are more devastating than anything else we've been through, But, we can't dwell on it and must take a step forward every day. To those people that basically tell me to get over it and move on I just smile and say, I hope you never have to walk in my shoes. To those that have supported me without saying stupid things and were there for me in my time of need, they have my undying loyalty, hopefully they won't have to walk in my shoes, but if they do, then I'll be there for them, no question about it. I am also walking, not because of my diagnosis, but because I believe in the cause and have been doing it for the last 10 years way before my cancer diagnosis. Good luck to you, you're almost done and on the road to your new life. May you find peace and harmony in it. Hugs, Lili
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Breast cancer month
    I know how you are feeling I certainly have been there, it will get better. It is hard to see yourself as a survivor when you are in the midst of treatment but the sun will shine again! People who have not been touched by cancer can be insensitive because they do not have a clue what it is like to battle the cancer beast. You are almost through the rads and trust me it will heal and the memories of it will fade a bit. I began my life with cancer 11 years ago and since then there have been happy moments beyond the disease. Congrats on nearing the end of your treatments and on being a survivor!.

    Sending lots of cyber (((((((HUGS))))))))

    RE
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    Pink, Indeed!
    You probably didn't mean to, but you made me laugh! I posted something similar last year~ and the boards were absolutely FULL of replies of how many of us are Sick of Pink!!! :-)

    Pink is now what defines us in the minds of so many~ if our co workers and family members and friends can't think of anything to get us...why not something festooned with a PINK ribbon!!? A Beanie Baby, shoe lace ties, soap on a rope, greeting cards, coffee mugs, tote bags~ you name it! If it has a big pink ribbon on it, we must love it, right? NO!!!! It is as if they have forgotten that we love hummingbirds, or concert tickets, or classic rock CDs, massages, an assortment of tea, ANYTHING that isn't pink!

    I am not angered by the pinkness of it all. It wouldn't be fitting with my "Be Stronger Than, Not Angry At" mantra! :-) And I am sure that all of their hearts are indeed in the right place when they purchase something pink for me. I know the problem ( if there even is one) is with ME~ I don't want to be identified and inextricably linked with BC.

    I take the gifts with a living spirit, and have been known to put them in a yard sale or give them to a local thrift store...

    For the record, you were a survivor the minute you woke up from surgery...you HAD cancer, the surgeon removed it and now you don't have cancer any more! These other treatments are "just" to kill of any rogue cells which might be lurking. It doesn't mean that you won't have down days, and worries, we all have those. But honestly, the days get longer between the sobs, and we can regain our emotional equilibrium .

    Rejoice that people care about BC enough to even make a month of awareness~ and look forward to the day when NO cancer will need a ribbon or a discussion board!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • Joycelouise
    Joycelouise Member Posts: 482
    Hey, doesn't it feel good to
    Hey, doesn't it feel good to come here and say that! I admit to the same feelings. I remind myself that the publicity is all about raising money (good thing) and not about survivor support. And that the funds pay for this great website. I was at the grocery store and the young clerkette asked me to donate to "breast cancer awareness". I already gave (a breast), thanks. Funny, I gave to the prostate cancer research drive at the grocery store a few months ago without regrets. So this time around, this one breasted woman will let a gentleman donate on my behalf. Maybe in a few years it won't make me cringe to see a pink ribbon (oh, my goodness, they even had pink ribbon reading glasses). (Can you imagine for halloween coming completely dressed in all the silly pink ribbon themed stuff you can find? Now that's a scary costume!). Writing this is one of the few nice releases allowed to us poster girls, huh? love ya, Joyce
  • nancyh1314
    nancyh1314 Member Posts: 11

    Hey, doesn't it feel good to
    Hey, doesn't it feel good to come here and say that! I admit to the same feelings. I remind myself that the publicity is all about raising money (good thing) and not about survivor support. And that the funds pay for this great website. I was at the grocery store and the young clerkette asked me to donate to "breast cancer awareness". I already gave (a breast), thanks. Funny, I gave to the prostate cancer research drive at the grocery store a few months ago without regrets. So this time around, this one breasted woman will let a gentleman donate on my behalf. Maybe in a few years it won't make me cringe to see a pink ribbon (oh, my goodness, they even had pink ribbon reading glasses). (Can you imagine for halloween coming completely dressed in all the silly pink ribbon themed stuff you can find? Now that's a scary costume!). Writing this is one of the few nice releases allowed to us poster girls, huh? love ya, Joyce

    Pink Phobia
    I am so happy to hear all your comments. After I had the mastectomy I received several pink-ribbon themed items and inspirational books. I felt so guilty when I admitted to my 22-yr-old daughter that I was up to my eyeballs with pink stuff and could happily live the rest of my life without reading another inspirational story ! I know it was the gift-givers' attempts to say the things that they did not have the words for, so I just expressed appreciation and figured I was an ungrateful slob. It's nice to know I'm in good company !
  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    Hang on!
    Hang on! It does get better, not that you could have convinced me of that 6 years ago in October when I was getting a mastectomy. I knew my breast was a goner when they told me I had breast cancer in two spots and felt sure I was a goner too. I read the statistics and "knew" I was doomed. Friends tell me I handled it well back then, but I still remember the tears I cried on the phone every time someone called to see what was happening. I collapsed in tears when they thought they had a spot on the other side. I lost it again when they decided they couldn't biopsy because the spot was too small. They still haven't and I'm still waiting for that ax to fall but the nightmares over the situation have stopped. Back then I figured I would survive the next week or two but a month or two (much less a year or two) was too hard to imagine. I wouldn't even look at my retirement accounts or make summer vacation plans. After six years things have gotten to where cancer is something on my calendar but not my entire life. This it true in spite of a diagnosis with lung cancer two years ago so believe me when I say it is still on the calendar! And I still have no guarentees that I'm going to be "okay". But thanks to the support I get here and in my community it has gotten better. At least I sleep nights which is a huge improvement over my first year or so! I hope it gets better for you soon too! Take care.

    C. Abbott
  • kbc4869
    kbc4869 Member Posts: 159
    Warning: Pink Grapefruit Tea
    After I was DXed, the pink gifts started coming in in droves. But I let it go. And THEN, my best friend at the time, brought me a box of Pink Grapefruit Tea. I looked at it, studied it, and opened it up. Sniffed. Made a face. The odor was horrid.

    I asked her, "Have you tried this stuff?"

    She said, "Well, yes. I bought a box for myself too."

    "Did you like it?"

    Embarrassed, she said, "Well, not really."

    "Then why are you giving it to me?"

    "Well, you know. It's pink. It's for Breast Cancer . . I'm trying to support you . . ."

    I told, "Well, you're going to have to try harder."

    Uncouth response to a gift? Absolutely. I wouldn't say that we're best friends anymore, but telling her how I felt felt really good. This was around Christmas time. Word spread quickly, and I didn't receive one Pink present that year. That was a GIFT!
  • dbs1673
    dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
    thanks
    Thanks so much for making me laugh and letting me shed some tears. I love the comment about how we already gave... a breast (or 2).. Even the grocery fliers are filled with the brands to buy for the pink ribbon cause. I must say I have recently purchased some bottles of wine with the pink ribbon. I will laugh and raise my glass to all of us!!!

    dawn
  • pmillr2000
    pmillr2000 Member Posts: 26
    Ah, come on, girls! Don't
    Ah, come on, girls! Don't we NEED pink ribbon cook wear? ROFL!!!!!!!
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member

    Ah, come on, girls! Don't
    Ah, come on, girls! Don't we NEED pink ribbon cook wear? ROFL!!!!!!!

    Tickled Pink????
    UH OH...I admit it~ my sister got me the KitchenAid stand mixer~ in PINK ~along with the matching PINK knife set! A neice got me the Joy Of Cooking, Pink BC Edition ( did you even know there was one??)...so far, no one has gotten me a pink apron! But then again, the holiday season is upon us,isn't it?? Thanks for the chuckle!

    Hugs,
    Chenheart
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    chenheart said:

    Tickled Pink????
    UH OH...I admit it~ my sister got me the KitchenAid stand mixer~ in PINK ~along with the matching PINK knife set! A neice got me the Joy Of Cooking, Pink BC Edition ( did you even know there was one??)...so far, no one has gotten me a pink apron! But then again, the holiday season is upon us,isn't it?? Thanks for the chuckle!

    Hugs,
    Chenheart

    Hey gals: How about a pink
    Hey gals: How about a pink vacuum cleaner. Dyson makes a pink ribbon edition. I can just picture my husband using that one. ROFLMAO Hugs, Lili
  • vspeller
    vspeller Member Posts: 1
    Pink Ribbon Yuk
    My sentiments exactly-I don't know if I can bare Breast Cancer month!My sister died from breast cancer,so I have always been a supporter of finding a cure. I was diagnosed in Jan 08-had a lumpectomy/ 4 rounds of A/C 8 rounds of Taxol--(OMG), and currently finished my 3rd week of Radiation Therapy-have 3 1/2 weeks to go.I thought that I would die after the first dose of chemo;have been so,so sick. I had every side effect possible.Now my skin!!I haven't worked since Jan 23, but plan to return in a few weeks. I'm starting to feel like myself again,and I am so grateful. God Bless you!
  • dbs1673
    dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
    look forward
    Look forward to tthe end of the radiation..it's worth it! I'm really looking forward to 2009. The way I see it "2008 hasn't been great, 2009 oughta be fine!!"
  • Irishwhispers
    Irishwhispers Member Posts: 96
    Has anyone gotten...
    Pink Gardening Gloves? Or Playing cards with the pink ribbon on the back of them??

    Gigglinggggggggggggggggg

    I did!!!!!! :-)

    But the thought behind the little care package I received did mean sooooooooooo much, when I was first Dx'd.
    However being the rebel that I am ... I just am not a pink person to begin with, I was already anit-pink... so silly am i ...

    love
    Irish
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    My other ribbon is blue....
    Since I got the 2-fer....colorectal cancer followed by breast cancer, I can pick my color....

    I actually said to my breast surgeon's nurse (this was barely 6 months after finishing treatment for rectal cancer, mind you) "You know, the thing that bothers me most? (at this point, she grabbed for the tissues...lol) I look HORRIBLE in pink!!!!" She almost fell off her chair, she was laughing so hard. She said "That is probably the wierdest reaction to being told you have breast cancer that I have ever heard!!!"

    I participate in the Komen run, so I have a plethera of pink shirts. I, too, have well-meaning people who send me stuff. If asked to CONTRIBUTE money, however, I demure and say (If in a particularly onrey mood...rofl) "I feel I have already contributed enough...I went thru 10 months of treatment."

    Hugs, Kathi
  • ManWithaMission
    ManWithaMission Member Posts: 497
    Pink Ribbon yuk
    If you ladies hate "Pink" so much,think about us MEN! Real men don't wear pink!LOL!!!
    I have a friend who gave me a "Pink Ribbon Coffe Mug" and a "Pink Ribbon Car Air Freshner".
    I just smile and say "Thanks". I hope she is just doing it as joke because I am a guy. With
    all this "PINK" I feel I am being forgotten or discriminated against.I just want to be counted and remembered, too! I had no "life changing" moment when I was diagnosed with my
    cancer or ever thought that it could "KILL" me. I guess that's because I lived with "IT"
    so long I just took it for granted. It does scare me to think that "IT" could come back,
    or that it could spread somewhere else. That's why I do my "Self Breast Exams" and have a yearly Mamogram.(Boy, I sure know WHAT you women go through with that now!!!lol). Yesterday,
    here in New Bern,NC we had our yearly Chrysanthemum Festeval or "Mum Fest" for short. Well,
    the local Diagnostic Center has a booth there for Breast Cancer and my wife called to ask
    if I could sit and talk to people about Male Breast Cancer, and they said YES! I enjoyed
    myself so much that I'm thinking about going back again today. What surprised me most,I
    think, was the fact that so few women and even fewer men did not know that men could get Breast Cancer. Live and learn.
  • Joycelouise
    Joycelouise Member Posts: 482

    Pink Ribbon yuk
    If you ladies hate "Pink" so much,think about us MEN! Real men don't wear pink!LOL!!!
    I have a friend who gave me a "Pink Ribbon Coffe Mug" and a "Pink Ribbon Car Air Freshner".
    I just smile and say "Thanks". I hope she is just doing it as joke because I am a guy. With
    all this "PINK" I feel I am being forgotten or discriminated against.I just want to be counted and remembered, too! I had no "life changing" moment when I was diagnosed with my
    cancer or ever thought that it could "KILL" me. I guess that's because I lived with "IT"
    so long I just took it for granted. It does scare me to think that "IT" could come back,
    or that it could spread somewhere else. That's why I do my "Self Breast Exams" and have a yearly Mamogram.(Boy, I sure know WHAT you women go through with that now!!!lol). Yesterday,
    here in New Bern,NC we had our yearly Chrysanthemum Festeval or "Mum Fest" for short. Well,
    the local Diagnostic Center has a booth there for Breast Cancer and my wife called to ask
    if I could sit and talk to people about Male Breast Cancer, and they said YES! I enjoyed
    myself so much that I'm thinking about going back again today. What surprised me most,I
    think, was the fact that so few women and even fewer men did not know that men could get Breast Cancer. Live and learn.

    You go, brother! How
    You go, brother! How wonderful of you to do that educating. Now, think...there must be some really cool way of publicizing male BC. What, (if not pink ribbon car accesories) would be something you would like as a symbol? Chances are, other men would too. There are some clever sisters on this site who can think of something, I am sure. Maybe a t-shirt with Tarzan with one nipple with the words, what's wrong with this picture? "Real Men can get Breast Cancer too"
    Maybe I had better stick to letting the others think of something....I am proud to know you, Joyce
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member

    Pink Ribbon yuk
    If you ladies hate "Pink" so much,think about us MEN! Real men don't wear pink!LOL!!!
    I have a friend who gave me a "Pink Ribbon Coffe Mug" and a "Pink Ribbon Car Air Freshner".
    I just smile and say "Thanks". I hope she is just doing it as joke because I am a guy. With
    all this "PINK" I feel I am being forgotten or discriminated against.I just want to be counted and remembered, too! I had no "life changing" moment when I was diagnosed with my
    cancer or ever thought that it could "KILL" me. I guess that's because I lived with "IT"
    so long I just took it for granted. It does scare me to think that "IT" could come back,
    or that it could spread somewhere else. That's why I do my "Self Breast Exams" and have a yearly Mamogram.(Boy, I sure know WHAT you women go through with that now!!!lol). Yesterday,
    here in New Bern,NC we had our yearly Chrysanthemum Festeval or "Mum Fest" for short. Well,
    the local Diagnostic Center has a booth there for Breast Cancer and my wife called to ask
    if I could sit and talk to people about Male Breast Cancer, and they said YES! I enjoyed
    myself so much that I'm thinking about going back again today. What surprised me most,I
    think, was the fact that so few women and even fewer men did not know that men could get Breast Cancer. Live and learn.

    Pink, Indeed!
    My B/f wears a golf shirt with the Pink Ribbon Logo saying "Real Men Wear Pink"~ and I can of course understand the whole "Pink is for Girls" logic for BC. Statistically it is a disproportionate female disease. Thanks so much for being a voice for men~ sheesh! I am sure this is an "honor" you just as soon could have lived without!! WE are honored that you are indeed a survivor , and that you have joined CSN to share your journey and perspective with us. Perhap next year you can initiate a Poppy Festival, or a "POP Fest", to draw attention to the fact that this beast doesn't just favor "Mums" !!!!

    Thanks for sharing with us~ we love you, Brother!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • Joycelouise
    Joycelouise Member Posts: 482
    chenheart said:

    Pink, Indeed!
    My B/f wears a golf shirt with the Pink Ribbon Logo saying "Real Men Wear Pink"~ and I can of course understand the whole "Pink is for Girls" logic for BC. Statistically it is a disproportionate female disease. Thanks so much for being a voice for men~ sheesh! I am sure this is an "honor" you just as soon could have lived without!! WE are honored that you are indeed a survivor , and that you have joined CSN to share your journey and perspective with us. Perhap next year you can initiate a Poppy Festival, or a "POP Fest", to draw attention to the fact that this beast doesn't just favor "Mums" !!!!

    Thanks for sharing with us~ we love you, Brother!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Dang, you are clever, Chen!
    Dang, you are clever, Chen! I had you in mind when I knew someone could come up with a good spin. Love, Joyce
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398 Member
    We are are all survivors
    I think it is easier to view us all as survivors though we sometimes don't seem to be surviving in our own eyes. While I was battling my fight with stage 3 cancer over 11 years ago now I had a cousin who was diagnosed for the second time at stage 4. I remember talking to my Auntie about my own fight and she seemed so sad that her daughter in-law wasn't the survivor I seemed to be. I can remember feeling her pain and I realized at that moment she was probably a better survivor than I. I reminded all that my cousin had survived and how well she had done given her odds at the time. Maybe in fact she was the truest of survivors just dealing with so much.
    While I was going through the chemo and radiation I had to endure I found the book Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I found a saying by Anne Cameron that I litterally hung onto. "She endured. And Survived. Marginally perhaps, but is not required of us that we live well." Reading this book in it's entirety has mad me realize what I truly have control over and what I do not. I also want to remind you that the worst time seems to be the time of the unknown and waiting for results or treatment to happen. I think if we survive that we can almost survive anything...
    It is hard to be positive when our lives hang in the balance and one has to find a life bond all of the pain.
    My thoughts are with you
    Tara