Back on Chemo yesterday and lost a friend

After finishing FOLFOX in March, a colostomy takedown and clean scan in May I now have mets to the liver and lung. I started FOLFIRI yesterday and we'll add Erbitux next cycle. Of course the goal is to shink/eliminate enough in the liver to make it resectable. On FOLFOX the 5FU was a tiny dose - it fit in a small compartment on the back of the pump. Now, it is larger than any IV saline I've ever received! It was really awkward to carry around, so this ought to be interesting.

When I got home I was helping my son (23 and new college grad) look for a job. I found a posting and told him, "That's Joshs' job!" He reminded me that he could have found something better or gotten a promotion. Josh has been on my mind lately. I haven't seen him since June but emailed him the week before Labor Day and he hadn't responded. I picked up a card to send to him on Wednesday so DH and I could go to dinner with his DW and him. I'm glad I didn't send it....I found his obituary on a google search. He lived in a small town that doesn't have any newspaper so I had to search surrounding towns. I need to send his wife something that isn't a joke card like I bought him.

Josh and I met last year in chemo. We would jockey and save seats to sit together. Wonderful guy. He was 33 yrs old! This beast stinks. I hate it. Another friend gone.

Kimby