My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer

Your Mom
Jennifer, the first thing you need to do is take a deep breath. If you need help and support you have come to the right place. Before you panic, let your mom go the oncologist and find out what is going on. It would be a good idea for her to take a friend with her for moral support and to listen to what is said. When first diagnosed, it is sometime hard to take in everything that is said to you. When all tests are run you will know a lot more and we can be of more help to you. There are a lot of survivors as well as caregivers here that are full of wisdom and advice and all the support that you need. You might want your mom to visit the site as well. Come back and let us know how you and your mom are doing. Keep your chin up!

Prayers and hugs coming your way.
Linda

PS-I live in Texas and my daughter is in Michigan

My response to you.
Hello Jennifer, I feel your pain and the struggle you are going through.I'm just going to let you know, that my mom was also diagonsed with breast cancer this year. Also I want you to know that everything is going to be alright. The MRI she is having is a standard procedure and its very good she is going to see her oncologist. Just let her know to ask as many questions that she may have.Breast cancer stages are all different for everyone,The good news is they have great chances of survival and a great cancer support network around the world. You are not alone.

Hello jennifer, I am the son of the same mother that has breast cancer. I want to let you know that I have the best confidence in the world that my mom will survive this procedure, but also it is going to be a long process. But you know whats great jennifer, that she has you and your sister and that is the best support and understanding any parent can have. and you are not alone. I send alot of love to you, your sister and especially your mom!!! keep up with God.

Newly Diagnosed
Hi Jennifer:

Those are the worst words any person can hear: You have cancer> But hopefully it was caught early. Since you are not near her, my suggestion would be to have a friend accompany her to the oncologist's visit. You are so nervous and only focused on the fact that you have cancer that you really don't hear everything the dr is telling you. So, by having someone there with her, they'll be able to grasp more of what the dr is saying. Until, she visits the oncologist there really isn't much we can tell you. It all depends on the type of breast cancer and whether any of the lymph nodes were involved. That will determine the type of chemo she will have if she needs it and the type of surgery she will need whether she has a lumpectomy or mastectomy. For now, you need to be strong for her because she is probably very scared just like we were. Let us know after she visits the oncologist what he said and we will be able to give you a better idea of what you will all be facing. I will keep your mom and your family in my prayers. Hugs to you, Lili

What to expect
Getting diagnosed with cancer really shakes all of us emotionally whether we are the patient or the caregiver. Your mom is lucky to have a daughter like you who cares so much. You have found a great website to ask questions any time you need answers. The other survivors have been through plenty and can share their experience and advice whenever you need it. No question is too large or too small, so ask when you need help. You did not say how your mom found out she had cancer. Sometimes the patient discovers a lump, sometimes it shows up on a mammogram, and sometimes there are just a few hints (like microcalcifications) on the mammogram that suggest that cancer might be in the area. It isn't cancer until the pathologist sees it under a microscope. A biopsy is usually done to diagnose the nasty beast. An MRI with special contrast stuff is often done these days on newly diagnosed patients to see exactly where the cancer is showing up. If it is extensive, the surgeon may prefer to do a mastectomy or even a bilateral mastectomy if it is on both sides. However, standard procedure for discrete lumps is usually a lumpectomy followed by radiation. If the tumor is large, sometimes they will do chemo BEFORE operating. That may shrink the tumor enough that lumpectomy plus radiation will work. To say the least, a lumpectomy is cosmetically superior to a mastectomy. However, sometimes tumors are not in just one place and sometimes they are just too big or won't shrink. Then a mastectomy may be needed. A breast oncology surgeon will work with a breast oncolgist to make those decisions with your mom. If she lives in a small town, she may be just seeing the local surgeon and general oncologist. That works for some folks, but if the tumor is aggressive or the doctor is not up on the current standard of care, I suggest a consultation with the best teaching hospital you can get to with a clinic for breast cancer care. It really makes a difference! The MRI will give the surgeon an idea of whether a sentinel node operation to sample the lymph nodes will probably work or if a regular node dissection is needed. With the sentinel node operation, only one or two nodes are removed. The other removes one or two levels of nodes. They used to think that that would prevent the cancer from traveling. It didn't work terribly well at stopping the spread of cancer. Sampling the nodes however, is important because it can tell if the cancer has developed the ability to set up camp outside the breast. If it is in the nodes, then chemotherapy is definately needed. They can tell how aggressive the cancer is by sampling a number of nodes when the first one or ones turn up positive for cancer. Chemo is strong medicine for cancer that has escaped the breast. It is kind of like using weed killer on a yard full of dandelion seeds. One dandelion plant is easy to dig up, but once those seeds start spreading, weed killer on the whole yard works better. Radiation is like using concentrated weed killer. It kills stray nasties the surgeon may have missed. They can target the radiation so that healthy normal tissue is not harmed while the cancer cells get destroyed. They now have lots and lots of medicines to make the treatment of breast cancer easier to bear. Any books you read are already behind the current research in the field. That is another reason to consult with a breast cancer clinic that is associated with a teaching university. Breast cancer gets more research monies than other cancers and as such has more effective treatments and more options than many other kinds of cancer. When I was first diagnosed (almost 6 years ago), I was sure I didn't have many more months left. Then I heard they were starting to keep 20 year statistics in Great Britain. Having met many 20 year + survivors, I believe it now. Some cancers are more aggressive than others, and some treatments will not work with some cancers. We don't get a choice on what kind of cancer we get. Shucks, if we got a choice I'd pick no cancer at all! But more and more of us are living pretty long and normal lives in spite of being diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctor tells me to think of my cancer like a chronic disease that I have to live with instead of a death sentence. Talking to the folks at this website has taught me the truth of that view. Making it almost 6 years so far helps too! Good luck to you and your mom!

C. Abbott