Bob is losing the battle - help me cope!

Sue, I am so sorry you have to go through all this. Bob is VERY lucky to have you; tough as it is. You are a caring and loving wife, just what Bob needs - to feel loved and cared for. Continue as you are... you are doing it all correct. I agree about hospice. It is a wonderful program to help Bob and his family (you). They have programs that can set up at the home, or at the hospital; if needed. Talk to his doctor about talking to a program. Don't be hesitant - it is such a good and supportive program.

One note about the ex-wife and step daughter: try not to feel ANY guilt. They are simply taking out there sadness and their own guilt out on you. They didn't offer to help, so they aren't really worried about your ability to care for Bob. They feel sad and angry about loosing him and unfortunately, released it in such a negative manner.

You are beautiful. You can't make the cancer go away. You can only be supportive and care for Bob - as you are doing. Ask the MD for help. Make sure Bob doesn't experience too much discomfort. And try to enjoy every moment you have with him. Come to us anytime you feel overwhelmed. GET SUPPORTS FOR YOU, SO YOU CAN SUPPORT HIM!!

You and Bob will remain in my thoughts and prayers. jana

Sue I have followed your difficult journey closely over recent months and have admired your strength through out it- you are a role model to so many of us here. My heart goes out to you at this time.
Prognosticating is so hard for docs and so inaccurate you never can say what will happen but there is often some reassurance taken by family and patients in knowing a time frame to work in.

It means it is really time to focus on quality- finding any way of improving Bob's enjoyment of the time left you have together. Put aside family difficulties - they can be dealt with later and will only sap energy that you will need to cope with the time to come. Use your energies constructively to spend time with Bob doing somehting that brings joy to you both- even in a phyically frail state there are often things you can do together- look at old photos, talk of good times etc.

Take some time for yourself too when you can. The next couple of months will be hard and you need to be as robust as you possibly can for it but you mustn't let yourself get overwhelmed or too tired as you will be of less use to Bob. take some to to re-energise yourself even if it doesn't feel like the right time to be focusing on yourself- it is still important.

Look for supports that are strong too- hospices and palliative carer teams often can provide valuable advise and phyical as well as emotional support. Use us as often as you need to as well- we are here to take your woes and fears when ever you need us. Use us to unburden yourself of those thoughts that will plague yo and those fears that eat away.

but most of all just be there for Bob- there is no magic answer to the best way to do this but use your instincts as you know him better than anyone. Let us now how it all goes and we will be thnking of you here in the Uk,

Steve.

Iam sorry for you and your husbands bad news that was recieved. You are a strong loving caregiver and wife who has did everything in your power. I agree with everyone to check into Hospice. May the lord continue to be with you in your time of need. livin

Dear Sue,

My heart goes out to you and Bob...
I have no words that could explain how sorry I am for what you are going through.
I will keep you and Bob in my prayers.

Hugs
Edina.