Emotionally struggling, looking for suggestions

nerdchick
nerdchick Member Posts: 2 Member
in Uterine/Endometrial Cancer #1

Sorry, this is a long post…

I just had a radical hysterectomy on 1/21/25 after having had a biopsy on 12/27/24 that showed some cells that suggested endometrial adenocarcinoma. The final pathology found the tumor provided a diagnosis of FIGO Stage 1A2. While I am 41yo, my logical brain is what said to do the radical hysterectomy based on knowing I was very estrogen-dominant, I had been told I have PCOS though never had any cysts, had history of repeated early (1st trimester) miscarriages, and that at my age a pregnancy would not be considered wise with my history.


I always wanted to be a mom, I wanted to experience the both the joys and miseries of pregnancy, so now knowing that logically the radical hysterectomy was the best option and overall lowered many of the risks of missing any cancer spread, emotionally I feel like I’m a wreck. My husband and I are going to do adoption, we had long ago decided we were ok with and going to adopt at least one child, so being a mom is still an option through that route.

My other emotional struggle, and it seems silly to me at times and yet still so valid, is having lost my uterus and ovaries. Again, it was the most logical for me considering my history and I had asked my OB/GYN for a full hysterectomy before we did the biopsy. I know I’m not the only survivor that has this same struggle and emotional turbulence. I also have a dark - and, well, very warped - sense of humor that my mother and husband are feeling some of the jokes I’ve made are too soon. I’m wondering how other survivors handle the emotional overwhelm and the emotional/logical battle?

Comments

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,531 Member
    #2

    hey nerdchick, thank you for coming and sharing with us your story.

    There is no timeline on when when you should feel what, or when is the appropriate time to make jokes - you actually sound like you know yourself, and that is GREAT!

    In the end, I think cancer is overwhelming for most people. The big WHAT? IF? etc., leads us down some paths we didn't expect to have to deal with suddenly or not when we wanted to deal with it.

    I would suggest finding someone to talk to who can help you work through what you are already thinking. I don't think anyone can give you an answer, it doesn't sound like that is what you want, you are just looking for how to get there.

    I am single, and while I had hoped to find Mr Wonderful and maybe a child or two, none of that happened. For me, it is, "what is next? what can I be?" I actually think you sound like you will be a cool mom to a child who needs love.

    Hugs dear. I hope you 'hear' this with the light-hearted nature I intended. You really sound pretty cool!

  • Mercorby
    Mercorby Member Posts: 121 Member
    #3

    Nothing you wrote was silly and neither are your feelings. In fact, I think you are quite insightful, self-aware, and looking for humor in a tough situation. Good qualities in a mother. If your cancer center has a therapist or social worker that works with cancer patients, that is helpful. Also, if they have support groups for young women, that's helpful too.

    Physical activity can relieve some negative energy. I swim and do mindfulness meditations. At various stages of my journey, I had therapy with a therapist that specialized in cancer patients. Whenever I need to talk to her now, I just "send up the bat signal" and we have a session or two, and that works for me. But earlier in my journey, I had many sessions. So, if you can get assistance in processing what you've been though, go for it.

    It sounds like you have support and good things in your future. Whenever you can, do the things that bring you joy.

    Best wishes.

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