Emotionally struggling, looking for suggestions

nerdchick

Sorry, this is a long post…

I just had a radical hysterectomy on 1/21/25 after having had a biopsy on 12/27/24 that showed some cells that suggested endometrial adenocarcinoma. The final pathology found the tumor provided a diagnosis of FIGO Stage 1A2. While I am 41yo, my logical brain is what said to do the radical hysterectomy based on knowing I was very estrogen-dominant, I had been told I have PCOS though never had any cysts, had history of repeated early (1st trimester) miscarriages, and that at my age a pregnancy would not be considered wise with my history.

I always wanted to be a mom, I wanted to experience the both the joys and miseries of pregnancy, so now knowing that logically the radical hysterectomy was the best option and overall lowered many of the risks of missing any cancer spread, emotionally I feel like I’m a wreck. My husband and I are going to do adoption, we had long ago decided we were ok with and going to adopt at least one child, so being a mom is still an option through that route.

My other emotional struggle, and it seems silly to me at times and yet still so valid, is having lost my uterus and ovaries. Again, it was the most logical for me considering my history and I had asked my OB/GYN for a full hysterectomy before we did the biopsy. I know I’m not the only survivor that has this same struggle and emotional turbulence. I also have a dark - and, well, very warped - sense of humor that my mother and husband are feeling some of the jokes I’ve made are too soon. I’m wondering how other survivors handle the emotional overwhelm and the emotional/logical battle?

NoTimeForCancer

hey nerdchick, thank you for coming and sharing with us your story.

There is no timeline on when when you should feel what, or when is the appropriate time to make jokes - you actually sound like you know yourself, and that is GREAT!

In the end, I think cancer is overwhelming for most people. The big WHAT? IF? etc., leads us down some paths we didn't expect to have to deal with suddenly or not when we wanted to deal with it.

I would suggest finding someone to talk to who can help you work through what you are already thinking. I don't think anyone can give you an answer, it doesn't sound like that is what you want, you are just looking for how to get there.

I am single, and while I had hoped to find Mr Wonderful and maybe a child or two, none of that happened. For me, it is, "what is next? what can I be?" I actually think you sound like you will be a cool mom to a child who needs love.

Hugs dear. I hope you 'hear' this with the light-hearted nature I intended. You really sound pretty cool!

Mercorby

Nothing you wrote was silly and neither are your feelings. In fact, I think you are quite insightful, self-aware, and looking for humor in a tough situation. Good qualities in a mother. If your cancer center has a therapist or social worker that works with cancer patients, that is helpful. Also, if they have support groups for young women, that's helpful too.

Physical activity can relieve some negative energy. I swim and do mindfulness meditations. At various stages of my journey, I had therapy with a therapist that specialized in cancer patients. Whenever I need to talk to her now, I just "send up the bat signal" and we have a session or two, and that works for me. But earlier in my journey, I had many sessions. So, if you can get assistance in processing what you've been though, go for it.

It sounds like you have support and good things in your future. Whenever you can, do the things that bring you joy.

Best wishes.

hopeforthebest

So sorry. I hope you are healing well. I had a full hysterectomy 2/5/2024 for endometrial carcinoma FIGO Stage 1A. I didn’t have chemo or radiation for the uterine cancer. But I also had breast cancer and radiation was recommended for that.
I’m still navigating the emotions. Some days it is so exhausting and unsure. Other times I feel upbeat and stronger because of what I went thru. I think there really is life precancer and Post cancer.

nerdchick

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1722081#Comment_1722081

Post-hysterectomy and cancer diagnosis really does require a lot of navigation! Physically I have healed very well, my baseline CT came back NED, so no further treatment at this time, but the hormonal changes, the insomnia, the depression (OMGoodness, the depression!!!!), the feeling of being so alone, the emptiness that swallows you when you no longer feel like a whole person…these are so overwhelming! My parents and my husband have been amazing, my mom is even helping spread the awareness of uterine cancer as she’s been wearing a T-shirt that says “I wear peach for my daughter” and is often asked about the peach ribbon. My husband sports his T-shirt that says, “Husband of a Warrior” with the peach ribbon before “warrior” and he’s been stopped and asked about it. I have been finding that helping spread the awareness is being the most helpful.

NoTimeForCancer

nerdchick, what you are experiencing - very real! I do love how your mom and husband get stopped around town and asked about it. We do have to talk about this for awareness.

Pre-covid when I went to DC for a gyn cancer walk, I carried the sign in my picture through the airport enroute. I had one young man stop me as I went through security to tell me his mother was battling uterine cancer and he didn't know there was an organization for awareness or to help find a cure. So to your point, yes, it helps.

Hugs dear

Bama25

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/328949/emotionally-struggling-looking-for-suggestions

https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1722084#Comment_1722084

Dear Nerdchick

I too had a hysterectomy because the cancer was in my uterus. I didn’t have to have chemo because they got all the cancer with the hysterectomy. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mom. I thought about it, talked about it and dreamt about it. It wasn’t supposed to be, I’ve never married or had a boyfriend but I always wanted to be a mother. I cried and cried and cried some more when I found out about my cancer. I thought it was unfair and thought my world was common to an end. I prayed quite a bit and realized my world was not coming to an end. If I was to be a mother we would have to adopt. There isn’t anything wrong with adopting a child, they need parents as well. That dream is fading fast though. I’m still not married. I have been cancer free since 2010. Every day is a blessing to me. I thank God everyday for keeping me cancer free. I celebrate March 10th every year because that is the date of my hysterectomy, the day I beccme cancer free. I’m still cancer free, thank God. I’m now 56 years old and grateful everyday day since my hysterectomy. I celebrate two birthdays a year now. One is obvious my birthday one on June 25 my actual birthday and March 10 the day of my hysterectomy mom. I don’t know what else to say, except I love this group. I’m so glad that I found it, I wish I found this site earlier, at least I found it now.