Skin cancer support

4MJM
4MJM Member Posts: 3 Member
edited July 19 in Skin Cancer #1

Today I had my 13th surgery to remove a basal cell and have had melanomas in the past cancer road of 20 years (I am 39). I am so blessed with my history of finding them early and an amazing dermatologist. I have finally put my finger to why I have been mentally struggling, and I believe it is the lack of support of people going through something similar to relate to. I have amazing friends and family that support me and am ashamed to admit I hide and downplay what I go through often because I don’t want to be a victim and know how good I have it. That being said, I don’t have anyone to talk some of this through with who can offer more than “sorry to hear that” with each diagnosis. Has anyone else felt this way or have an outlet to recommend?

Comments

  • Mulligan45
    Mulligan45 Member Posts: 6 Member
    #2

    I understand. I have had a few SC spots removed and want to find a support group to talk about it. My biggest issue is the anxiety about a return of cancer or that I will get more cancer (though I can accept that this is very likely). I feel like people don’t really understand unless rhey have had cancer as well. My wife is very frustrated with me over my continued focus on SC. But everything I have read from survivors describes exactly how I have been living. I’m sry sad and lonely and though I have a therapist and am taking meds for my anxiety, I still feel very little hope or excitement. I am a little older than you but not much )mid 40s) and still have so much I want to do with my life, but my fear is debilitating for me. I guess that I probably am not sounding very good right now but I hope it helps to know you aren’t alone. Good luck on this path of life.

  • ctcurl
    ctcurl Member Posts: 1 Member
    #3

    I totally understand. Have been told I have another BCC on left side of nose sort of at the end. This will be the 3rd. The first 2 were MOHS surgeries which I just don't want to have again. I don't know whether this is an isolated lesion or a recurrence of what was supposedly taken out actually 20 and 28 years ago. I told myself NOT to bring it up when I met my sister and cousin for lunch last weekend because they have had worse things to deal with, but I did and now I feel guilty about it like they'll think I just want to bring attention to myself. I could kick myself for even bringing it up. And, of course, it didn't help me in deciding what to do about my current situation. Considering SRT for this one, but it's not a walk in the park either. Not to mention, scheduling appts. is such a challenge now.

  • 4MJM
    4MJM Member Posts: 3 Member
    #4
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1714530#Comment_1714530

    It doesn’t make me feel better that you are struggling too but glad we, with a similar history, can row the boat together! I will say I am a Christian and that helps a lot. I know that no matter what the day brings the worst that can happen to me is I meet Jesus!

    I have struggled over the years joining in all the outdoor family things (we are a farming family and love ATV’s) and I have had to learn how to balance life with precaution that sometimes feels like fear. I can’t do what everyone else does the way they do it but I can join in my own way and have finally learned not to care what I look like doing it. I am sorry you deal with anxiety too. I encourage you to focus on what you can change or just sit in and enjoy today. I find focusing on the blessings help a lot for me. I have a beautiful family, and am thankful this last one wasn’t a melanoma or worse. I wish you the best in your treatment with what you decide and with your family!

  • 4MJM
    4MJM Member Posts: 3 Member
    #5

    I think the lesson for us both here is sharing the burden of life doesn’t take away from someone else’s, but just reminds us we are not alone. I know some don’t respond to it that way and I don’t know what your family’s reactions were, but we aren't designed to be isolated. I am glad you did share with them and I thank you for sharing with me too. I hope you find a great support system in them and wish you the best on your treatment.

  • Fiasco
    Fiasco Member Posts: 12 Member
    #6

    I would like to know if anyone jhas had a punch biopsy orexcision bicycle on their lip

  • Meg2024
    Meg2024 Member Posts: 4 Member
    #7

    I can't tell you how much I understand this comment. I'm also 39 and recently had 7 surgeries for basal cell and one for melanoma. It has been exhausting and my friends are supportive too but they don't understand, at all, the anxiety and nerves involved in all this. (And putting life on hold, dealing with stitches constantly, being at the doctor constantly, worrying about other spots that haven't been biopsies yet... it's a lot mentally.

    I too downplay it and just act upbeat and fine because honestly when I talk about it with people they make such cringe comments. Like they'll point at my stitches and say "that really doesn't look that bad" and they keep asking "so are you done now, is that the last one" and I just get so exhausted serving answers to these kinds of remarks. In all honesty I wish people could just learn to say, "let me know if you need anything" and not make any commentary about how bad or good it is, how I look, etc.

    Do you experience these kinds of comments? How do you handle them?

  • Meg2024
    Meg2024 Member Posts: 4 Member
    #8

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I was recently diagnosed (melanoma and bc, all over my forehead scalp and some on my back.) I am terrified to be in the sun for even a few minutes and feel insanely guilty if I am. It's hard. I know I need to get over that feeling and just take normal precautions but it's so difficult.

  • Fiasco
    Fiasco Member Posts: 12 Member
    #9

    Has anyone had a punch biopsy or excision biopsy on the lip. I have only had one basal cell cancer on the nose and a good surgeon performed mohs. My problem now is that I have excessively chapped lips that need medical attention and my good doctor is gone. I am also wondering if anyone knows of a really good dermatologist in Florida. I also feel very alone and isolated because friends just make stupid comments like "everything will be fine" or "Don't worry it will all work out". Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

  • ddmontg
    ddmontg Member Posts: 2 *
    #10
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1715545#Comment_1715545

    I completely get this. I am terrified too. I overthink oh my God has it been two hours since I last applied sunscreen oh my God where’s my hat. It’s just a lot even when I’m in the car. I’m moving my arm if it’s in the sun. I don’t quite know how to live right now. three biopsies and two melanoma in situ and awaiting the results of the third

Discussion Boards