My mother's doctor told me that she doesn't have much time, I'm not ready to lose her.

Hello again, Arefeh. I copy and pasted your text into an AI app called BelongAI that I look at from time to time. The response I got back is shown below:

_I'm truly sorry to hear about your mother's condition. Dealing with a loved one's cancer can be incredibly challenging. It's understandable that you're not ready to lose her, and it's important to explore all options available.

• Given the complexity of your mother's case and the challenges she's facing with treatment options due to kidney failure, seeking a second opinion from another oncologist or a multidisciplinary team may be beneficial. They may offer fresh perspectives or alternative treatment options that could potentially help.

• Additionally, considering palliative care could help manage your mother's symptoms and improve her quality of life. Palliative care focuses on providing comfort and support, addressing pain, and managing other distressing symptoms. It can be a valuable resource for both patients and families facing advanced cancer.

• It's crucial to have open and honest conversations with your mother's healthcare team about her current condition, treatment options, and what to expect. They can provide guidance and support to help you make informed decisions that align with your mother's wishes.

Remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time as well. Seeking support from friends, family, or a counselor can help you navigate these challenging emotions. 🌟

If you need further assistance or have more questions, feel free to reach out.__

Arefeh, it sounds like you trust in your doctors and that they have been doing all the best treatments that are available to us in this day and age. Unfortunately, all cancer and cancer situations cannot be cured. People I know of in your mother's situation many times have had their cancer treated successfully as it seems your mother originally did but then later on they have a recurrence as it seems your mother has.

Since you say she is losing weight, not eating much, and coughing during eating which indicates a problem or disfiguration in that area. I imagine it is either painful to eat and swallow or some other issue but she is just going to keep losing weight and getting weaker. She is having much difficulty sleeping so that is another factor that is not a good situation. So she is weak now and the factors of eating poorly and not sleeping well are of great detriment to her situation. Anytime you are fighting cancer you need plenty of calories to maintain your weight and plenty of good rest with reasonable activity while awake. So her treatments are not successful, she is not eating well or sleeping well, has very limited mobility, and is in a weakened condition. So the trajectory she is on now is not good and she is going to continue to get weaker and worse as the situation stands now barring a miracle. Also, keep in mind if they can provide trials and experimental treatment and your mother takes them it seems every form of treatment can wear you down or have its own set of side effects thus wearing down an already weakened system.

My opinion would be, and this is what I would want, is to have a doctor present if you think it is necessary and have a heart-to-heart talk with her and let her know how much you love her and tell her about her situation fully so she knows the status of her situation at this point and she is fully aware of it. So she knows at this point the doctors can't do much more for her and realize the gravity of her situation. This you are doing in complete honesty out of love for your mother so she can make informed decisions moving forward. This does not mean she has to give up hope or quit trying if she wants but at least she knows what she is facing and can gauge her time appropriately. She has been putting up a valiant fight, this is tough stuff.

Yes, do check on the hospice and palliative care in your area or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Check with her doctors, surely being medical people dealing with others in this situation they should be able to direct you somewhere for help.

Lastly, if she is made aware she can decide how she wants to spend her final days. Quite a while back I remember another situation on this very discussion board of a similar nature, where a young lady was helping her mother through cancer and it finally ended up being terminal and they could not do much more. They made the decision to have her at home with the family where family members could visit and she could be surrounded by grandchildren and such and instead of fighting cancer up to the last she spent her time enjoying her loved ones and whatever she wanted to do and could do. She may also have spiritual concerns and end of life concerns she would want to address. You may need a hospital bed if they are available for rent in your area. They may have had hospice or some other service for additional help I can't remember. It is too bad your mother is set against a feeding tube because at this point she should have one because you need nutrition and calories especially now and with the difficulty of eating. It would mean she had one less fight, trying to get enough food down by eating.

I know this is a difficult situation and is hard to talk about, but it must be done because it is not going away anywhere. My heart goes out to you in this most difficult situation and I hope you can find the answers you need. I hope I have helped in some small way and remain available if I can do anything else. And I am hoping I have not said anything out of the way or improper in this delicate situation.

One more thing I would offer is I am for using standard medical treatments for cancer. In you case you have dione this for your mother. I would like to check out a link to a cancer story by a fellow named Joe Tippens. You can check his story out and draw your own conclusions. It seems in your situation you have nothing to lose. I also made a post on this a while back.

Joe Tippens story...

Here is a recent posting of it that I made on this site...

Joe Tippen Cancer Story-Recently Shared With Me-For Your Consideration

So I am Wishing You the Best

I am here if I can help in some way.

Take care, God Bless

Russ