Feeling lonely and isolated

I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter and now fir your husband’s diagnosis. I am sure you are in shock… Please try to lean on God as much as possible. Tell people at church what you’re going through and they will help you. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🩵🩵🩵🩵

First....BIG hugs to you. My husband was just diagnosed this week and I'm feeling lost, scared and inadequate. My heart goes out to you.

You are very tough and I pray you continue to stay uplifted and positive as much as possible. I know losing your daughter was tough but on the brighter side, your husband has a survival expectation which is amazing news. Much love to you and your family

I was a caregiver for my mom with end stage ovarian and then later for my dad with dementia. Caregiving is the loneliest, hardest thing I have ever had to do and I am also a cancer survivor. I was visiting a sister and she told her friends that I was my dad's caregiver. One of them leaned over and whispered to me that she felt so trapped. this is the thing, you can't just tell people how you really feel about your caregiving, no one understands unless they have been through it. Caregivers many time don't survive caregiving because it is such a hard and thankless job. I have 2 sisters and a brother and was pretty much abandoned by them and told that I was exaggerating. so no real help from them. I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and had no clue I was even sick. I also lost almost all of my friends because I had one topic of conversation. All this to say, you have to take care of yourself however you can. I found a support group in my town and it saved my life. I could sat anything there, my frustrations, my anger, my feelings of being trapped and overwhelmed. You can do this here. There should be no judgement here.

Hospice is often thought of as a late stage thing, but it really isn't. Contact them and if you qualify for their help, they have volunteers who will come in and sit with your person so you can get away for a breather. Also, some assisted living and nursing homes will offer respite help. I used that a couple of times in my area and that was very nice. Once overnight. Don't feel guilty over how you feel. You are in an impossible position. I loved both of my parents and looking back I do appreciate the time I spent with them. But going through it was hell. My dad was a beautiful, gentle soul, but there were days I hated him. And the only people who understand this are other caregivers. And no amount of platitudes that people gave me, helped. I needed real, solid, physical help.

I don't know if reading this will help you or not, maybe I sound like a horrible person here, but I hope that you know you are not alone. There are others who understand the raw feelings that you have. I also started doing art journaling during this time, and wrote out and painted my feelings in those books. Anyway, I hope things improve for you. Don't be hard on yourself. It's all okay. Do what you can for yourself, be patient with yourself.

Linda