My life has changed, has anyone had this happen?

Had lumpectomy April 27, 2022. I was blessed, margins clear, no lymph node involvement. July 22, 2023 will be a year since my last radiation treatment. I have had PET scans and 3 D mammogram, (hurt like the devil) and surgeon did breast exam. No cancer. I suffer from anxiety and occasional panic attacks.

I just want to get this off my chest, no pun intended. I thought some of you ladies could offer some help.

During my year of treatment and recovery, my adult daughters never checked on me, I lost friends, and only had a parrot. I lost that parrot, he passed in my arms on Jan 5, 2023. I fell apart, then 2 cats passed, I now have a part time job and I hate it. After trying to get out of the house more, I suffered panic attacks, tears the whole nine yards. I ended up in tears at family functions. I have now lost my dearest friend, one cousin as I thought I was trying to help. I am heart broken.

I tried meds and I just can't take them. I get every side effect there is. My anxiety is so bad, I now have hives. I have been to 3 drs and 4 meds.

I confided in my youngest daughter who is 31, has a 5 year old and newly married to a wonderful man. I cried trying to explain to her my feelings. She ended up getting angry at me. That she won't have me fall a part in front her her child. My granddaughter is my world. I wear a bracelet she gave me. Nana, Nana's love extra special, no one can take her place.

During my year of treatment, she got used to me not being around. I used to see her every day.

My daughter has cut off all contact with me. I have never felt soo alone in my life. She said I changed. A lot of hurtful memories were brought up both on my part and hers. Life did change me, I am scared and alone.

How do I mend fences in my broken relationships? I know, meditate, get out, exercise, etc. My income is limited and I have a room mate (he owns the house) that treats me like a piece of furniture.

I feel so isolated. I was riding horses, but just can't afford it. I try to go places alone but I feel self conscious. I know I am better off then most women here, and I feel guilty about my whine.

I see a therapist and she tries to help.

I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. Just having this board helps.

This is the toughest journey of my life, and I just want to find me again.

Much love and support to everyone of you.