I feel alone…

Hi,

so I wanted to tell my story and maybe just get some advice.

I was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer at 22 years old. My doctor says I’m one in a million for this diagnosis.. I feel guilty for being diagnosed on my moms birthday, I feel like now she just connects her birthday with the day her little girls whole world shattered from beneath her. I’m now 24, in remission… hopefully. I spent from the ages of 16 to 21 begging doctors to allow me to see an OB and they refused it. I’ve never had a period but I’d have random bout of bleeding when it was the most inconvenient time possible and without warning.. I could be chilling in class eating a burrito and I get up to throw my trash away and the chair is covered in blood and sadly as am I.. High School was a lot of panic attacks because I had undiagnosed Endometriosis.. Which caused me to develop precancer and cancer in my uterus. I’m being treated with an IUD because I have the dream of being a mom someday, but I also feel like that window isn’t open to me..

anyways, I feel like nobody understands the pain that I developed from this, I am in a constant state of anxiety, like it’s rather debilitating. Anytime I get a ache in my breast or I’m having issues breathing, or something so beyond ridiculous happens to my body I panic thinking that it’s back.. Everyone around me try’s to support me but I can tell they don’t understand it. The year I was diagnosed I turned into a monster, I pushed my entire support system away and burnt all the bridges because I was so afraid but also so beyond hurt by the universe I wanted nobody to experience my existence. I felt I was better off alone because I was caving in mentally.. Now I’m sunken in and I don’t know how to get out..

also, the cramps I get from having my IUD are unforgiving and I never know how to get rid of them…