Confused with Mother's treatment plan

sm012023, IMO decisions about a patients treatment should be made by the patient. If your mother wants to continue with chemo the question you need to have answered is how do we help her with falling? Does she use a walker? Is it possible she can use a wheelchair? Chemo is hard on a body, but it shouldn't be you have side effects that would mean you go in to hospice. Heck, lots of warriors have had difficulties but they found ways to work with what was going on.

Hospice should be the option when she wants it not when someone tells her.

Hugs.

Sorry to hear about your Mother's falls. When I read your letter, I ask myself what does your Mother want? Does she want treatment?

If she does I would just ask for a second opinion. The doctor who gives a second opinion needs to read all the records. All those records need to be sent. That is usual.

Also, have you considered Palliative care. It is about the comfort of the patient. You can quit at any time, and can continue treatment while in Palliative care. If your mother is in pain, medication may make it more likely that she falls. They might have recommendations about that too. Good luck.

My heart goes out to you sm. Again, can she use a wheelchair for getting around? It doesn't sound like she can walk without the risk of falling - which can be a problem for anyone at 86 yo. Is there a physical reason that her balance is off? Chemo takes a toll on the body, even for someone younger.

I think it is safe to say, from all of us who have had to help our parents in their later years, it can be very hard. Hugs my dear.

I remember I was so weak from the chemo, out of breath constantly, practically fainting if I had to go up a few stairs. I was also walking a bit unstable, but did not fall.

Your mother, obviously, needs support during this time of chemo. Why stop treatment if she can be helped with an aide or family member? For a few months?

It sounds like she did not have issues with balance and falling before the chemo, (I assume) so why not get her help to get through this?

Good luck to you!

Why doesn't she try imunotherapy? Chemo did nothing for my uterine cancer.

Have her use a large Pad inside her pants. Eliminate using panties. If wriggling her way out of them is too rough, eliminate them. Pants a problem? put her in a house dress. Use pads.

Use two sets of pull ups! OR do this: put a large extra absorbent Poise Pad in the pullup.

Next, get rounded tip scissors. When you take the wet pad at night, simply cut down both sices (at the hip) which makes the pull up easier to take off. No tugging and pulling. Lift her hips, or gently roll her and pull the pull up off.

Get bamboo mattress pads, or something rubberized. Create a 'draw sheet' of the width of the bed, but only a third large, tuck it in both sides of the bed. Have several of these strips of draw sheets with rubberized pad underneath. Change that at night, not the whole sheet.