36 years old. Just got the news. Anyone else diagnosed under 40?

Hey there,

• Im 38 and just found out I have invasive ductal carcinoma in situ, nuclear grade 3, with comedonecrosis. I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow. I was told this is an aggressive cancer and need to start chemo asap. I will probably be in the same boat as you. I dont have any babies, but I was hoping to get pregnant before it was too late. It doesnt seem thats in my cards right now. Just know that there is ALOT of help out there for people like us. Keep you chin up, its all part of the plan. Now is the time to let go of the reigns and let our body heal and accept help from those around us. I will pray for you Champ!

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It is a terrifying and lonely time. I was diagnosed at 35. I am 3 years in remission now. There are three pieces of encouragement I would like to pass on to you:

1. Advocate for yourself with your doctors: ask a million questions. Bring a notebook to every appointment. Push for fast decisions and treatment.
2. Join support groups: I did not do this and regret it still. I'm here now, but have paid the price emotionally.
3. Accept help: this was difficult for me at first, but allowing friends and family to help however they could not only helped me physically and emotionally, but also allowed them to feel needed in an otherwise helpless feeling situation.

Lastly, stay focused on what's next. The lists and appointments and questions and decisions can be really overwhelming. Reach out to talk about and process your experience.

Praying for you and wishing you all the best.

My heart goes out to you fully.

If there were just ONE thing I'd have done differently, it would be to join a support group early and continue going through and after treatment. I was afraid to join because I was more terrified of the experience than I realized, and felt that talking about it made it all far more real than I was willing to accept. So I internalized it throughout the entire process and learned to put up a very sturdy wall that I'm still trying to take down brick by brick.

If there were one more thing I'd have done differently, it would be to do more research (whether in talking to people, reading, podcasts, whatever) on what life after cancer can look like. What changes our bodies and minds go through, what ongoing treatment looks like, what emotions are "normal" (spoiler alert: ALL emotions are "normal"), etc.

I do recommend listening to The Breast Cancer Recovery Coach podcast with Laura Lummer (you can find it on her website; I'm unable to post the link here). She is a saint and this podcast changed my life in so many ways (I found it long after treatment but would have benefited significantly to listen to it during everything). She also has a Facebook group that is a very engaged and helpful group.

And please remember this ever-important note: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I'm here for you. We're all here for you.

My wife got diagnosed with stage 4 after it was discovered in the liver. She is only 37. Has anyone else in this group feel like the odd one out in the cancer center?

I was 39 when I found out and it was stage 2. The first few weeks are dizzying and frightening. Once you get your plan in place you will regain your fighting spirit. Still, you are going to feel scared and lost for a while. You can do this and you are not alone. Take it one day/decision at a time.

Simply amazing! The power of positive thinking! I am so happy you have regained a sense of purpose and are enjoying your life! I am looking to do the same!