36 years old. Just got the news. Anyone else diagnosed under 40?
Hi, I was diagnosed with IDC. I just found out Friday that is has spread to my lymph nodes. To say my world has come crashing down is the understatement of the century. I’m HR+ Her2 negative. No BRACA. They staged me at 2. Waiting on MRI results. I don’t know how to process. I have two babies. They want me to do 16 rounds of chemo, surgery, radiation and 7-10 years on hormone therapy that will put me into menopause. This can’t be my life. I’ve been praying to God to help to lean on him for this but I am struggling. They say my age makes this more aggressive and chemo is vital. How how can I do this? I have to be here for my babies. Someone anyone give me hope?
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Hey there,
- Im 38 and just found out I have invasive ductal carcinoma in situ, nuclear grade 3, with comedonecrosis. I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow. I was told this is an aggressive cancer and need to start chemo asap. I will probably be in the same boat as you. I dont have any babies, but I was hoping to get pregnant before it was too late. It doesnt seem thats in my cards right now. Just know that there is ALOT of help out there for people like us. Keep you chin up, its all part of the plan. Now is the time to let go of the reigns and let our body heal and accept help from those around us. I will pray for you Champ!
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Hi Hope, my last sentence said can somebody give me hope—then you wrote. I am sorry you too are going through this at such a young age. It sounds like you caught it early. May this be the case and you are able to have those kids you hope for. I will pray for you, Hope.
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I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It is a terrifying and lonely time. I was diagnosed at 35. I am 3 years in remission now. There are three pieces of encouragement I would like to pass on to you:
- Advocate for yourself with your doctors: ask a million questions. Bring a notebook to every appointment. Push for fast decisions and treatment.
- Join support groups: I did not do this and regret it still. I'm here now, but have paid the price emotionally.
- Accept help: this was difficult for me at first, but allowing friends and family to help however they could not only helped me physically and emotionally, but also allowed them to feel needed in an otherwise helpless feeling situation.
Lastly, stay focused on what's next. The lists and appointments and questions and decisions can be really overwhelming. Reach out to talk about and process your experience.
Praying for you and wishing you all the best.
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My heart goes out to you fully.
If there were just ONE thing I'd have done differently, it would be to join a support group early and continue going through and after treatment. I was afraid to join because I was more terrified of the experience than I realized, and felt that talking about it made it all far more real than I was willing to accept. So I internalized it throughout the entire process and learned to put up a very sturdy wall that I'm still trying to take down brick by brick.
If there were one more thing I'd have done differently, it would be to do more research (whether in talking to people, reading, podcasts, whatever) on what life after cancer can look like. What changes our bodies and minds go through, what ongoing treatment looks like, what emotions are "normal" (spoiler alert: ALL emotions are "normal"), etc.
I do recommend listening to The Breast Cancer Recovery Coach podcast with Laura Lummer (you can find it on her website; I'm unable to post the link here). She is a saint and this podcast changed my life in so many ways (I found it long after treatment but would have benefited significantly to listen to it during everything). She also has a Facebook group that is a very engaged and helpful group.
And please remember this ever-important note: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I'm here for you. We're all here for you.
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39, IDC, double mastectomy in April, radiation completed in August. The first thing I did was cry it out! I know you want to be strong for your babies but you need to experience and grieve the loss of the life you thought you would have. Next is reach out for help. Don't wait for people to know what to do for you. I reached out to 5 other breast cancer survivors I knew. I needed to hear from those that have gone through this and made it. Lean on your support group and if you don't have one, make one. I leaned heavily on my family and my church family. Everyone wanted to help but didn't know how. Tell them what you think you may need - food, rides, playdates for your kids, company, prayers. Fight past the feeling of being too needy. People want to help so let them. At times it felt like God was so far from me but that's simply not true. He's never left me and I had people intercede for me in prayer. Remember, God can use all things for good. It's not going to be easy but you got this!
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My wife got diagnosed with stage 4 after it was discovered in the liver. She is only 37. Has anyone else in this group feel like the odd one out in the cancer center?
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First, I am sorry to hear it was found in her liver. May God be with you and your family. And yes, all of this is surreal and makes it even more shocking because majority in the cancer centers are much older. I don’t think at any age you’re prepared to hear the C word but hits you like a wall when you’re younger. I wish I had something helpful to say to you but I myself am still in shock. I do believe in the power of prayer, so lean on Him.
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Thank you. I feel like all I do is grieve. I see women who are so strong and handle this with such grace and I’m a mess. There hasn’t been a day in the last 4 weeks where I haven’t broken down. Where I once found happiness, I just feel shattered. I know God is here and I know He is seeing me and hearing my prayers, which is the small comfort I have at this time. Anyway, thanks for responding and I wish you nothing but health in all the years to come. God bless.
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I found out 2 days after I turned 40. It was stage 2 though, so it had been in there for a bit. Still navigating it. Just keep going. One day at a time.
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I was 39 when I found out and it was stage 2. The first few weeks are dizzying and frightening. Once you get your plan in place you will regain your fighting spirit. Still, you are going to feel scared and lost for a while. You can do this and you are not alone. Take it one day/decision at a time.
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Hi!
I was 38 years old when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 IDC, metastasized to the bones and a few lesions in my lungs. I spent a month in the hospital in October 2020, one of those days being my daughter’s 5th birthday. I was told I would never walk more than 50 feet at a time again, and even when I did that I would need a walker. I had surgery to replace my left femur, surgery to remove my ovaries and tubes, and will be on medication for life. But…I want to give you hope because outside of myself, my family, and one or two doctors, no one gave me that. Less than a year after my diagnosis, I ran a 5k. And all traces of the cancer were gone in under a year! Never give up hope, keep a positive attitude, and never believe statistics. That’s all they are—no case is your case, there is a first time for everything. Stay strong, my thoughts are with you!
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Diagnosed with stage II IDC in August 2022 a month before my 40th birthday. Not how I thought my year would play out. My daughter was in college and I was starting to regain my sense of self again. I was enjoying being me and starting to learn what it was I wanted out of life, then BAM!!! It still is very surreal to me however I keep an optimistic attitude because I know the mind is a powerful tool. Worrying and stress will exasperate and fuel the cancer and this SOB will not win! I go for my bilateral mastectomy in a few weeks. I'm confident the pathology will come back stating I am cancer free, I'll do my radiation, get my reconstruction and put all this behind me. Some may say I'm overly confident but hey what's the alternative. One day at a time and in the end we have to believe we will be triumphant. I wish you peace and comfort throughout this journey!
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