New caregiver here - looking for some encouragement and advice!

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  • Nancy24
    Nancy24 Member Posts: 72 Member
    #22

    Not sure what else I can add but I did want to offer my support. My husband was diagnosed with cancer at the base of his tonsils in May 2016 and was thankfully HPV+. He had a lump on the left side of his neck and his doctor immediately ordered a CT scan so it was a quick diagnosis. He ended up having 7 weeks of proton beam therapy and a weekly cisplatin (chemo). He lost 30 pounds (he probably could have afforded to lose 10) and never gained much of it back, probably because his sense of taste is somewhat muted and he still has mild dry mouth. He has been cancer-free since the treatments ended.

    Your role is to be your husband’s advocate. Attend all doctor appointments. I didn’t find it necessary to attend radiation or chemo treatments. Ask every stupid question that comes to mind. Keep a notebook (I had to refer to mine recently). It will be the best way to organize your notes and information that is given to you. Find time for yourself…doing something just for you. Accept help from friends and family. I know it feels like your world is collapsing. It’s not. Take it one day at a time. You will get through this and so will he. An HPV+ diagnosis is the best news you could have asked for. Almost forgot - Your husband will get tired. Make sure he doesn’t overwork himself.

    I’m not on this site very often anymore but I am happy to provide you whatever support you need. Send me a private message and I’ll get back to you. And use this site. It has a wealth of information and everyone is extremely helpful and supportive. Sometimes it takes a village…

    As others have said, welcome to our club. Not one you want to join, but we will get you though it.

    best to you and your husband,

    Nancy

  • po18guy
    po18guy Member Posts: 1,499 Member
    #23

    The really odd aspect of caregiving is that, out of the blue, you now have two people to take care of: your husband and yourself. It can be a tremendous challenge, but we sometimes have no idea of how strong we can be - until we have to be strong. I would hope that you are taking care of yourself. Pouring yourself out for him sounds like a good idea, but there is only so much of you and then, what to do when you energy gauge reads "empty"? So, finding a few moments each day to maintain yourself can be very valuable. I hope and pray that things are at least tolerable.

  • JamesBred123
    JamesBred123 Member Posts: 1 Member
    #24

    So sorry to hear about the new diagnoses. We went through about the same thing a year ago. I'm the caregiver and I documented the whole process - going through proton radiation therapy as well as chemotherapy on this blog - https://jimb.blogforacure.com/weblog if you want to learn more about the process and what worked for us.

    Crystal

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